a scary glimpse into the confusion in my brain meats

[makemeapromise]

choices, endings, beginings... they are making me go batty... one thing ends, which means the begining of something else... and the choice to choose something else... but what do i want my choice to be? i have to choose if i want to do this or if i want to do that or work here or there or if i want to see them or them or nobody at all... i have say goodbye to one friend good luck to another and i hope you make it through the night to my grandma... i have to watch as her memory, her eyesight, and her sense of who she is and was shrinks, while i decide who I am and who I want to be... i have to say goodbye to a life that came so easy to me or choose to keep it and then end up having to say goodbye to another life that comes easy... i have to choose which makes me happiest, which will make me happiest and how long that happiness will last for each or either... i have to decide if i can do the things i shouldnt do or if they are better left undone... and if they are left undone will i be haunted by the choice not to do them... or will i commend myself for it... i have to say goodbye to people that i myself barely know, yet i depende upon their presence and the fact that they are there... and i have to watch the people i know and love say goodbye because they just cant hold on any longer... i have to be there for this person and be there for that person... lift them up hold their hand help them when they are feeling down... and then... afterwards... try and find some time in there to TRY and do the same for myself... and now that all my projects are in and my final grades are almost out i have to find out how to relax and take it easy while still choosing this and that, saying goodbye here and there, and holding up and all around...

but most importantly... i have to find time to do a load of laundry...