Untitled 21
... The scatterbrain Yemelyan and the thief Antoshka gave a splendid account of themselves. These epithets had been bestowed on them merely by way of encouragement. The master had no great enthusiasm for abusing people; he was a good-hearted fellow. But the Russian simply loves a spicy word the same way he loves a glass of vodka to help his digestion. What can you do? Such is his nature: he doesn't like anything bland.
The zakuski were followed by dinner. Here the good-natured host became an out-and-out despot. No sooner did he notice that someone had only one piece of something than he would instantly set another down in front of him, saying, in the process: 'Without a mate neither man nor bird can live in this world.' If anyone had two, he would dump a third on his plate, adding: 'What sort of number is two, anyway? God loves the Trinity.' If the guest was polishing off three, he would say to him: 'Where in the world have you seen a cart with three wheels? Who in the world builds a hut with three corners?' For four he also had a saying, and for five too. Chichikov consumed almost twelve slices of something and was thinking: 'Well, now our host won't come up with anything more.' But nothing of the wort: without saying a word, the host dumped on his plate a whole rack of veal, which had been roasted on a spit, along with the kidneys, and what veal it was!
'Two years I spent raising him on milk,' said the host. 'I looked after him like a son.'
'I can't,' said Chichikov.
'You try it and then say "I can't."'
'It won't go in. There's no room.'
'Well, there was no room in church either. But in came the Mayor, and place was found. And ther'd been such a crush that even an apple had no place to fall. Just ou try it: this piece is the selfsame Mayor.'
Chichikov gave it a try; in truth, the piece was very much like the Mayor. A place was found for it, where it had seemed nothing could be fitted in.
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Dead Souls, by Nikolai Gogol (Translated by Robert A. Maguire)
The zakuski were followed by dinner. Here the good-natured host became an out-and-out despot. No sooner did he notice that someone had only one piece of something than he would instantly set another down in front of him, saying, in the process: 'Without a mate neither man nor bird can live in this world.' If anyone had two, he would dump a third on his plate, adding: 'What sort of number is two, anyway? God loves the Trinity.' If the guest was polishing off three, he would say to him: 'Where in the world have you seen a cart with three wheels? Who in the world builds a hut with three corners?' For four he also had a saying, and for five too. Chichikov consumed almost twelve slices of something and was thinking: 'Well, now our host won't come up with anything more.' But nothing of the wort: without saying a word, the host dumped on his plate a whole rack of veal, which had been roasted on a spit, along with the kidneys, and what veal it was!
'Two years I spent raising him on milk,' said the host. 'I looked after him like a son.'
'I can't,' said Chichikov.
'You try it and then say "I can't."'
'It won't go in. There's no room.'
'Well, there was no room in church either. But in came the Mayor, and place was found. And ther'd been such a crush that even an apple had no place to fall. Just ou try it: this piece is the selfsame Mayor.'
Chichikov gave it a try; in truth, the piece was very much like the Mayor. A place was found for it, where it had seemed nothing could be fitted in.
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Dead Souls, by Nikolai Gogol (Translated by Robert A. Maguire)