Are the TV networks even trying anymore?
This is a list of the proposed new fall shows. Anything here worth watching?
FOX:
I Hate My Teenage Daughter: Sitcom about single moms who realize their teenage daughters are mean girls. With Jaime Pressly (My Name is Earl) as one of the moms.
New Girl: A "fresh and outrageous" take on love and dating, with Zooey Deschanel playing "off-beat and adorable" because that's literally all she can play, and moving in with three single guys. Hilarity and dysfunctional relationships!
Allen Gregory: An animated series about a 7-year old, his gay parents, his adopted sister, and his school life. Main character is voiced by Jonah Hill (Superbad). This is so bizarre it might be awesome.
Terra Nova: Sci-fi drama about a family in 2149 who travel back to the dinosaur age in an attempt to save the human race. (Apparently we should have listened to Al Gore.) Isn't this what that old show Land of the Lost was?
The Finder: Bones spin-off about a dysfunctional guy who's really good at finding things. Hence, the title. He's played by Lucy's husband from 7th Heaven and, yes, I hate it that I know that. Also Michael Clarke Duncan (The Green Mile).
Alcatraz: Produced by J.J. Abrams (Lost), it's a sci-fi-y mystery about a cop who is investigating the reappearances of supposedly dead Alcatraz inmates. Stars Jorge Garcia (Hurley!) and Sam Neill in supporting roles.
Napoleon Dynamite: The animated series. Really?
Touch: Another sci-fi drama about a single father (Kiefer Sutherland) who discovers his autistic and nonverbal son has the ability to see patterns in numbers that can change/save the world.
NBC:
Awake. This is getting a lot of comparisons to Inception. Jason Isaacs plays a cop who lost his wife and son in a car accident but keeps meeting them in vivid dreams-that-maybe-aren't? Could be interesting or could fizzle out and get cancelled (probably halfway through the first season if history is any judge).
Prime Suspect. A remake of the Helen Mirren detective series with Maria Bello cast as the lead.
The Playboy Club. About the Playboy Club, of all things, in the 1960s. Mad Men-wannabe mixed with "Hey, it's Playboy!" sex appeal.
Smash. Playing to the Glee-crowd this is a series about the making of a Broadway play, from conception through opening night. Stars Debra Messing, Angelica Huston, and American Idol oldie Katharine McPhee. The preview looks painfully bad and cheesy. I can't believe Angelica (think it may be Anjelica, actually) has sunk to this.
Grimm. Another sci-fi mystery revolving around the Grimm Fairy Tales. (Hint: they're real, y'all!) Stars people I've never heard of.
Whitney. Based on the comedy of Whitney Cummings, who I've also never heard of. About dating and relationships in your 20s, what a shock. At least it's not another mockumentary.
Up All Night. Sitcom with Christina Applegate and Will Arnett as married modern parents. Baby is probably badly named.
Free Agents. US remake of a British sitcom about coworkers on the rebound, with Hank Azaria.
Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea. Based on the life of Chelsea Handler, with Laura Prepon (That 70s Show) in the title role.
Bent. Sitcom with Amanda Peet as a divorced control freak mom who meets her young, sexy exact opposite. Now THAT is ORIGINAL!
CBS:
The 2-2. Another cop drama, this one about rookies in New York. Produced by Robert DeNiro.
Unforgettable. About another New York cop (Poppy Montgomery) who can remember absolutely everything. Hence, the title. How many New York cop shows do we need in one country?
How to be a Gentleman. A comedy about two (wait for it...) unlikely friends! One an "uptight columnist," the other a "rough-around-the-edges" trainer. With Kevin Dillon, Dave Foley, and Mary LYnn Rajskub.
Person of Interest. Another JJ Abrams show, this one about about mysterious goings-on in New York. With Michael Emerson (Lost) as a scientist and James Caviezel (Jesus) as an ex-CIA hitman.
ABC:
Last Man Standing. Tim Allen as "a traditional manly man in a progressive world," with Nancy Travis playing his wife. Home Improvement reheated.
And while I'm at it, upcoming movies:
The Help, starring Emma Stone, Bryce Dallas Howard, and Viola Davis. Based on the wonderful, well-written novel. Probably had all the juice and joy sucked out of it, if the cheesetastic song played over the trailer is any indication, but I'll end up seeing it anyway. Looks pretty well-cast. I like the look of the woman playing Minny.
Melancholia, with Kirsten Dunst, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Kiefer Sutherland, and others. A very bizarre but lovely-looking movie about two sisters (Kirsten and Charlotte), their respective marriages, and a mysterious planet that may be about to crash into Earth. Yeah. Odd.
We Need to Talk About Kevin, with Tilda Swinton and John C. Reilly as the parents of a disturbed teenager who shoots up his school. Also based on a great book (by Lionel Shriver) that focuses on the mother's complicated and lukewarm (to say the least) relationship with her son, the Kevin of the title. Looks very creepy, in a stomach-clenching, psychologically-raw way.
The Tree of Life, with Brad Pitt and Sean Penn. Another very gorgeous-looking movie about a young boy (Penn plays him as an adult) growing up in the 1950s, the juxtaposition between his gentle mother and his harsh father (Pitt), the creation of the Earth, and the afterlife. Just a little summer movie, really.
Something for everyone, y/n?
FOX:
I Hate My Teenage Daughter: Sitcom about single moms who realize their teenage daughters are mean girls. With Jaime Pressly (My Name is Earl) as one of the moms.
New Girl: A "fresh and outrageous" take on love and dating, with Zooey Deschanel playing "off-beat and adorable" because that's literally all she can play, and moving in with three single guys. Hilarity and dysfunctional relationships!
Allen Gregory: An animated series about a 7-year old, his gay parents, his adopted sister, and his school life. Main character is voiced by Jonah Hill (Superbad). This is so bizarre it might be awesome.
Terra Nova: Sci-fi drama about a family in 2149 who travel back to the dinosaur age in an attempt to save the human race. (Apparently we should have listened to Al Gore.) Isn't this what that old show Land of the Lost was?
The Finder: Bones spin-off about a dysfunctional guy who's really good at finding things. Hence, the title. He's played by Lucy's husband from 7th Heaven and, yes, I hate it that I know that. Also Michael Clarke Duncan (The Green Mile).
Alcatraz: Produced by J.J. Abrams (Lost), it's a sci-fi-y mystery about a cop who is investigating the reappearances of supposedly dead Alcatraz inmates. Stars Jorge Garcia (Hurley!) and Sam Neill in supporting roles.
Napoleon Dynamite: The animated series. Really?
Touch: Another sci-fi drama about a single father (Kiefer Sutherland) who discovers his autistic and nonverbal son has the ability to see patterns in numbers that can change/save the world.
NBC:
Awake. This is getting a lot of comparisons to Inception. Jason Isaacs plays a cop who lost his wife and son in a car accident but keeps meeting them in vivid dreams-that-maybe-aren't? Could be interesting or could fizzle out and get cancelled (probably halfway through the first season if history is any judge).
Prime Suspect. A remake of the Helen Mirren detective series with Maria Bello cast as the lead.
The Playboy Club. About the Playboy Club, of all things, in the 1960s. Mad Men-wannabe mixed with "Hey, it's Playboy!" sex appeal.
Smash. Playing to the Glee-crowd this is a series about the making of a Broadway play, from conception through opening night. Stars Debra Messing, Angelica Huston, and American Idol oldie Katharine McPhee. The preview looks painfully bad and cheesy. I can't believe Angelica (think it may be Anjelica, actually) has sunk to this.
Grimm. Another sci-fi mystery revolving around the Grimm Fairy Tales. (Hint: they're real, y'all!) Stars people I've never heard of.
Whitney. Based on the comedy of Whitney Cummings, who I've also never heard of. About dating and relationships in your 20s, what a shock. At least it's not another mockumentary.
Up All Night. Sitcom with Christina Applegate and Will Arnett as married modern parents. Baby is probably badly named.
Free Agents. US remake of a British sitcom about coworkers on the rebound, with Hank Azaria.
Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea. Based on the life of Chelsea Handler, with Laura Prepon (That 70s Show) in the title role.
Bent. Sitcom with Amanda Peet as a divorced control freak mom who meets her young, sexy exact opposite. Now THAT is ORIGINAL!
CBS:
The 2-2. Another cop drama, this one about rookies in New York. Produced by Robert DeNiro.
Unforgettable. About another New York cop (Poppy Montgomery) who can remember absolutely everything. Hence, the title. How many New York cop shows do we need in one country?
How to be a Gentleman. A comedy about two (wait for it...) unlikely friends! One an "uptight columnist," the other a "rough-around-the-edges" trainer. With Kevin Dillon, Dave Foley, and Mary LYnn Rajskub.
Person of Interest. Another JJ Abrams show, this one about about mysterious goings-on in New York. With Michael Emerson (Lost) as a scientist and James Caviezel (Jesus) as an ex-CIA hitman.
ABC:
Last Man Standing. Tim Allen as "a traditional manly man in a progressive world," with Nancy Travis playing his wife. Home Improvement reheated.
And while I'm at it, upcoming movies:
The Help, starring Emma Stone, Bryce Dallas Howard, and Viola Davis. Based on the wonderful, well-written novel. Probably had all the juice and joy sucked out of it, if the cheesetastic song played over the trailer is any indication, but I'll end up seeing it anyway. Looks pretty well-cast. I like the look of the woman playing Minny.
Melancholia, with Kirsten Dunst, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Kiefer Sutherland, and others. A very bizarre but lovely-looking movie about two sisters (Kirsten and Charlotte), their respective marriages, and a mysterious planet that may be about to crash into Earth. Yeah. Odd.
We Need to Talk About Kevin, with Tilda Swinton and John C. Reilly as the parents of a disturbed teenager who shoots up his school. Also based on a great book (by Lionel Shriver) that focuses on the mother's complicated and lukewarm (to say the least) relationship with her son, the Kevin of the title. Looks very creepy, in a stomach-clenching, psychologically-raw way.
The Tree of Life, with Brad Pitt and Sean Penn. Another very gorgeous-looking movie about a young boy (Penn plays him as an adult) growing up in the 1950s, the juxtaposition between his gentle mother and his harsh father (Pitt), the creation of the Earth, and the afterlife. Just a little summer movie, really.
Something for everyone, y/n?