Make Up Your Mind, Before It's Gone [35!/35!] Last Chapter!
Title: Make Up Your Mind, Before It's Gone [35!/35!] Last Chapter!
Author: makeapanicscene
Rating: PG-13-NC17/R
Pairing: Ryden
POV: 3rd person
Summary: Four boys, Jon, Spencer, Ryan and Brendon are seniors and best friends. The senior prom is coming up. Who will they bring to the prom? Will everyone attend?
Disclaimer: Don't own... Wish I did..
Dedication: To Denisse for this story. Thanks for the suggestions girly! For hearts_lust, strlight_fics for editing. To the readers that have read my story from the beginning, and leaving comments! You guys are awesome!
Author Notes: ...OMG! It's been too long since I first wrote this (omg scaryyyy), and now I'm going to finish it for REAL! I hope none of you didn't forget this fic! =[ Hope you all enjoy!
Previous Chapters =)
Ryan woke up early on December 20th. Today Today was the day Brendon would be coming home. Surely, Ryan didn’t know the exact time he was arriving and he didn’t get much sleep at all. He tossed and turned all through the night and he was happy to take a break and relax. This year felt really special for the couple because not only have they not seen each other in a long time, but having their connection was still electrifying. Of course, Brendon gave Ryan the wrong dates of when he’ll be coming home, so when Spencer took a drive with Ryan, he got excited. A black bandana covered his eyes while the car stopped.
“Ry, I’m going to be right back. I’m going to lock the doors, but you gotta promise me that the bandana will stay on, okay?”
“Yeah, I promise.”
“I’m gonna go now and I’ll be back shortly.” Ryan nodded as he heard the door closed and suddenly, everything was quiet. Silence made Ryan daydream and he surely could imagine the day his father died and when he woke up in Brendon’s arms.
Ryan awoke to a soft touch; Brendon’s finger pads rubbed though his hair and onto his cheek. Ryan opened his eyes slowly, feeling damp and cold. He saw Brendon smiling down at him, and looked into his honey eyes. Ryan’s head rested on Brendon’s thigh and moved his head to see him sitting.
“Bren-"
“Shhh,” Brendon said quietly.
“Brendon, how long have I been sleeping?”
“It’s Monday.” Ryan stood up quickly as he was pushed down. “Ryan. I’m so sorry about yesterday,” Brendon said again with a tear in his eye.
Ryan calmed down after a few minutes. He didn’t keep the time and he knew he was probably there for an hour. He kept referring to different songs in his head until the locks of the car were unlocked by the remote. Ryan heard silence, then a door opened and Ryan felt scared. All of those feelings went away when a pair of lips were kissing his and smiled into it. Brendon leaned in more, pulled the bandana off of Ryan’s head and kissed him deeper. Both of them made soft noises at the back of their throats and Ryan couldn’t be happier. When they pulled back, Ryan finally opened his eyes slowly and looked deeply into Brendon’s. Behind them, Spencer smiled because he knew that Ryan wouldn’t be alone for a few days and that Brendon would be around for his favorite holiday. Ryan got out of the car, stood next to Brendon, flirtatiously wrapped the bandana around his neck and pulled him to attack his lips. Spencer chuckled quickly as the two officially made out and waited for them to break for air.
“Hey Ryry,” Brendon whispered as he petted Ryan’s cheek.
“Hey Brenny,” Ryan replied back smiling.
“Aww, my two little love birds, lets get in the car and go home,” Spencer spoke, trying not to ruin the moment. He took the bags and placed them in the trunk while the other two boys got in the back.
----
When they all arrived home, Rachel gave her warm welcome to Brendon and all four of them caught up for a few hours on the living room couch. Spencer held Rachel while Brendon held Ryan and they all laughed until dusk. Ryan saw his boy yawn and soon after, the two of them went into his room to lay down.
“We’re alone at last,” Ryan said with a satisfied sigh.
“Ry…”
“Yeah?”
“You’re so amazing. My flight was too long, but it was worth it because you’re laying right next to me and I haven’t had that for about… I don’t know, but it’s too long.”
“You’re rambling, but I love it.” Ryan moved the wispy bangs out of Brendon’s eyes and smiled up at him. The boy next to Ryan smiled back but closed his eyes soon after.
----
Brendon woke up to the door closing faintly and Ryan froze. He shifted on the bed and opened his eyes slowly.
“Shit, I didn’t mean to wake you sweetie, even when--”
“It’s alright,” said Brendon, “come here.” Ryan nodded and took a few steps, laying next to the other body and immediately arms were wrapped around his waist. “You lost weight.”
“I’m the same as when you last saw me. Your arms got stronger and you’re squeezing me, that’s why.”
“Sorry,” Brendon loosened his arms while Ryan rubbed his biceps with his hands.
“No, don’t be. I like it when you hold me.” Brendon nodded and squeezed him as tight has he could, making Ryan make a little choked out noise that also sounded like a gasp and a laugh. Brendon laughed hysterically when he saw a freaked out Ryan and when both of them tried to calm down, Ryan pulled back his blinds at lightening speed, revealing a bright ray of light on Brendon’s face as he covered his eyes and pouted.
“Ryyyan!”
“Morning! Now you’re up, so make me a smoothie.”
“You’re torturing me!” Ryan kissed him and tried to block the sun out of Brendon’s face when he pulled back, looking into his eyes. Ryan’s mind surprised him again as he remembered a special time with Brendon.
“Your eyes. The way the sun is focusing the light, it makes your eyes glow and look more beautiful than they really are. Don’t move.”
“Ok.” Ryan fixed his eyes to Brendon as he saw Brendon taking out his cell phone. He pressed a few buttons, and soon he was taking pictures of his glowing face and shining eyes.
“Perfect.”
“Look at me,” Ryan said while Brendon looked him in the eyes, “you have the most gorgeous chocolate eyes I’ve ever seen.”
“No, I would do anything to have those eyes. They’re mystical.” Ryan shook his head as he got his sidekick out and began to take pictures of Brendon and his eyes. Ryan smiled as he began to take picture after another, and saving it to his photo album. He placed his phone into his back pocket and got up. He opened the door and looked back. Ryan could see a puppy frown written all over his lover‘s face. He shook his head and made a smile as he walked out of the room.
“Ryan? Hello?” Brendon waved a hand in Ryan’s face as he broke out of his daydreaming stage, shaking his head and looking up.
“Hmm.”
“You alright? Are you getting sick?”
“No. I was just thinking about the time when you were here and when I said your eyes--”
“Were pretty, yeah.”
“Well, I meant beautiful and amazing, like you are.”
“Aww,” Brendon replied and blushed a little bit more while Ryan drew designs on his upper thigh with his fingers.
Ryan looked into Brendon’s eyes and smiled. “I’m ready.” Brendon exactly knew what he was trying to say. It was that he was finally ready to take their relationship to another chapter without letting the memories of his father get in the way.
“Ry…”
“I can’t let him get to me anymore. What happened in the past is done. I can’t change it. I love you more than anything and I’m just ready to move ahead.”
“I love you so much too. God, I’m so proud of you,” Brendon replied as he placed his hands on the pajama pants while Ryan shook his head.
“I’m not trying to beg you to make love to me. I just thought… You would like to know.”
“Okay, well do you want to do it now?” Brendon smiled, wiggled his eyebrows and Ryan nodded. Both of them laid back and soon, Brendon made love to his soul mate for the first time.
----
Christmas came and flew by so quickly that Ryan glowed so much and everyone in the house knew why, but they surely didn’t mention anything. Ryan felt like a whole different person and the others surely were happy that he was happy. Jon and Ellie came early in the afternoon on the 22nd and that night all of them went out for dinner. They got into the sprit of the holiday by decorating the living room with a Christmas tree and everyone laughed as they heard Brendon singing Christmas songs while wrapping himself in the tree lights. Jon helped him out by taking the star off of it and ran all over the house, making believe that he was a “shooting star.” The next night, everyone had a blast playing Twister and Brendon joked to Ryan about shoving his groin on the game floor in his face but obviously, Ryan didn’t mind. Spencer tried to shift so Ryan would lose and land on top of him, but Ellie slipped and her hand landed on Brendon’s pants and made him moan in Ryan’s ear.
“Brendon is going to cave in!” Jon shrieked as he flicked his finger at the pointer. “Left hand on red!” And with that, Spencer slipped, fell and made everyone collapse on each other.
----
“Spencer is going to open my present first,” Ryan said smiling. It was a limited edition cookbook that came with recipe cards and a mini set of measuring spoons.
At the end of the day, Brendon and Ryan walked hand in hand to Sunset Lake. They were sipping on their homemade smoothies and walking Ryan’s new dog, Hobo. Brendon knew he loved dogs so much that he wanted to surprise Ryan with the pooch. Everyone shrieked with love and after they petted her, she jumped in Ryan’s lap. He loved the beagle and knew that they would get along very well.
As they walked in the gates, they began walking on the grass where the cherry blossom trees were, sitting down against the trunk of the tree. Hobo jumped up in Ryan’s lap as she licked his chin, making him laugh.
“So many memories are popping in my mind right now.” Ryan nodded and looked up then at the trees swaying. The wind made his chestnut locks sway as a chill ran down his spine. His hands were on Hobo’s back as chime of the dog tags got his attention and suddenly she jumped off of Ryan’s lap and ran off.
“Hobo! Come back!” Ryan got up and ran after her, trying to clutch the leach as it moved along the grass. Ryan followed her as he stopped at a tree, leafless and lonely. Bending down to pick up the leash with his eyes glued to the trunk, a lump started for form in his throat. He could have sworn that its branches were on fire until he shook his head and saw nothing but that idle figure in front of him. Hobo barked, followed by a whimper as Ryan made a face and tried to shrug those uncertain feeling behind him.
----
It was the day before that Brendon would go back to Houston, but as Ryan woke up, he didn’t find him in his bed. He got confused as he saw Rachel making an omelet and toast.
“Bren’s not in my room. What happened?”
“He left already. I think it was around uh… seven.”
“Did he leave a note?”
“I didn’t see one anywhere, sorry.”
“I CAN’T BELIEVE HE LEFT WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE TO ME!”
“Ry…You need to calm down. Most likely he’ll call you--”
“No! I’ll call him!” Ryan huffed and walked in his room as he speed dialed his number and waited for his voice. Ring, ring, ring. No answer. He got even more upset and he screamed in his pillow as he saw that his bags weren’t located on the other side of the room. He was gone and he could already feel out of place and lonely. Hobo felt startled from Ryan yelling at himself and ran out of the room for cover.
All Ryan could think about was how Brendon left him. He felt like an old doll on a shelf that no one wanted to play with and he decided that he’s getting raggedy by the second.
Jon and Ellie didn’t stay much longer, either. Ryan could feel that strong connection with Jon slowly crumble as the months began to pass from the time he moved to Chicago. Sometimes he needed his jokes to cheer him up every once in a while and his sarcasm that followed. Ryan, Spencer and Rachel drove Jon and Ellie to the airport and said their goodbyes. They said they were planning on being back for the summer and that they would call when they could.
----
Back at college, Ryan knew he was strong, but at moments it felt as though he just wanted to give up on everything and cry his eyes out. Thankfully, he had his sister and his best friend by his side usually when he felt lost.
It was New Year’s Eve and Ryan still hasn’t heard from Brendon. He had just finished a big paper just in time to see the crystal ball go down in Times Square when a tear fell down his cheek, hearing the people full of excitement scream in the city.
Ten seconds before starting the New Year, Ryan locked himself in his room, knowing the couple in the other room would be sharing a kiss happily as ever.
----
Ryan was going to give up as February turned into the very early March. No phone calls, no letters, no emails from Brendon.
----
April 12th and it was the day to celebrate Brendon’s birthday. Ryan felt bad that he didn’t call all day. He knew that should have earlier, but the phone in his hands would shake when he would dial the number. At the last look at the clock, Ryan saw the digits of 7:30 shining in green. He dialed Brendon’s cell number but got his voicemail right away. He groaned and tried again.
'Just one more time, and if he doesn't pick up, it's over,' Ryan thought. When the dialing the area code, Ryan jumped so much that the phone landed on the floor.
“Brendon?!”
“Yeah, hey, it’s me.”
“Hi,” Ryan said, hearing his own voice talk lower than he could hear it.
“I--”
“You should have called me you know. I thought we were over…” Ryan blinked and could see the slight light coming in through his blinds. It gave the sunset its swirling colors of orange, pink and blue away. To Ryan, it made him think of cotton candy and the taste of Brendon’s lips after drinking one of his Capri Suns.
“You have the right for being mad at me.”
“I waited for you, Brendon. Do you know how much it hurt to know that you were gone without a note or anything? No goodbyes, nothing. You completely blew me off and you didn’t even tell anyone of what you were going to do. Do you know how worried I was just by hearing your voice on your voicemail every fucking time I called and not hearing your real one?”
“Ryan, I never intended to do that to you.”
“Do you know how much I’ve been through from not hearing my own boyfriend’s voice every once in a while, to know he’s not in any kind of trouble? Fuck you, Bren!”
“I love you.”
Ryan burst in silent hot tears as they trickled down his plum purple t-shirt. He couldn’t believe what was going on and he knew deep down in his heart that he couldn’t take it anymore. More than three months has been enough and not hearing from him was such a tragedy.
“Well, I l-loved y-you…”
Silence blanked out on the other side of the phone line as Brendon choked on his words.
“Please, don’t do this to me Ry. Please, not on my birthday.”
Ryan heard the door bell the second after Brendon spoke and he hated opening it to a bunch of boy scouts selling chocolate bars, and the speech on how they want to beat the girls.
“Happy Birthday, Bren.” And with that, Ryan hung up and placed the phone back on the charger. He rolled over on his side with the existent tears attacking his eyes.
He let a strong whimpering groan as the door bell rang continuously throughout the house. Ryan threw back the covers that were hanging off of the bed, ran into the bathroom to splash water on his eye-puffed face and trotted to the door.
Ryan unlocked the door and tried to hold back another groan when he opened it with such a force, he thought he was going to hit himself in the face. Brendon looked up from gazing on the bottom of the doorway and looked directly into Ryan’s eyes.
“The reason why I didn’t call or get in touch with you is because…As you can see, I’m moving back home. I don’t know if you would want me back but I changed my courses and taking them online.”
“But…”
“I wanted it to be a surprise-I’m just going to go now.”
“Bren--”
“I did it for us. You have no idea how much I missed you. And really, for me not calling killed me too.”
Ryan began to tear up as he reached out his hand and held Brendon's. Ryan could see the orange moving truck parked on the front and he definitely knew Brendon was finally home. As he looked deeply into Ryan's eyes, he still hoped that it wasn't over, until he got ready to speak.
“Okay, I’ll relax and will you give me another chance?”
Brendon smiled as he reached over and wrapped his arms around his lover. The twinkle in both of their eyes made them blush as they made it into the house, Ryan shutting the door and Brendon attacking his lips. They didn’t hear the footsteps of Rachel and Spencer as they saw the scene. Spencer smiled, wrapped his arms around Rachel and walked into the kitchen happily.
“Mmm,” Brendon sighed.
“I have your birthday present. Wanna see it?” Ryan questions, as he took a step back towards the bedroom.
“Of course,” Brendon said blushing and smiling.
“Happy birthday Brenny boy.”
“I love you so much.”
“I love you too.”
In the corner of the room, Brendon saw a big box wrapped in pink shimmering wrapping paper and walked over to it.
“This isn’t the end. It’s still only the beginning,” he said, looking back at Ryan with a hopeful smile.
AN: Woah. This is over, and I'm so glad that it is. Since I'm finished with my finals, (Thank God!) I decided to get this OUT OF THE WAY! I'm so sorry if anyone got lost or started to read and wanted to continue. This is the end, but there's 2 other standalones waiting to be posted really soon. (And I'm sure that more other stuff will come along too.) Thanks to anyone who commented and the beta's, lj friends and friends that have helped and inspired me along the way. Denisse, Liz, Karina, Charlotte, yay_for_gays, raleighsarusrex, hearts_lust and strlight_fics. (And you mods are awesome as well!) All of you guys are amazing and I hope we'll talk more often soon!
Have a great summer everyone!
Author: makeapanicscene
Rating: PG-13-NC17/R
Pairing: Ryden
POV: 3rd person
Summary: Four boys, Jon, Spencer, Ryan and Brendon are seniors and best friends. The senior prom is coming up. Who will they bring to the prom? Will everyone attend?
Disclaimer: Don't own... Wish I did..
Dedication: To Denisse for this story. Thanks for the suggestions girly! For hearts_lust, strlight_fics for editing. To the readers that have read my story from the beginning, and leaving comments! You guys are awesome!
Author Notes: ...OMG! It's been too long since I first wrote this (omg scaryyyy), and now I'm going to finish it for REAL! I hope none of you didn't forget this fic! =[ Hope you all enjoy!
Previous Chapters =)
Ryan woke up early on December 20th. Today Today was the day Brendon would be coming home. Surely, Ryan didn’t know the exact time he was arriving and he didn’t get much sleep at all. He tossed and turned all through the night and he was happy to take a break and relax. This year felt really special for the couple because not only have they not seen each other in a long time, but having their connection was still electrifying. Of course, Brendon gave Ryan the wrong dates of when he’ll be coming home, so when Spencer took a drive with Ryan, he got excited. A black bandana covered his eyes while the car stopped.
“Ry, I’m going to be right back. I’m going to lock the doors, but you gotta promise me that the bandana will stay on, okay?”
“Yeah, I promise.”
“I’m gonna go now and I’ll be back shortly.” Ryan nodded as he heard the door closed and suddenly, everything was quiet. Silence made Ryan daydream and he surely could imagine the day his father died and when he woke up in Brendon’s arms.
Ryan awoke to a soft touch; Brendon’s finger pads rubbed though his hair and onto his cheek. Ryan opened his eyes slowly, feeling damp and cold. He saw Brendon smiling down at him, and looked into his honey eyes. Ryan’s head rested on Brendon’s thigh and moved his head to see him sitting.
“Bren-"
“Shhh,” Brendon said quietly.
“Brendon, how long have I been sleeping?”
“It’s Monday.” Ryan stood up quickly as he was pushed down. “Ryan. I’m so sorry about yesterday,” Brendon said again with a tear in his eye.
Ryan calmed down after a few minutes. He didn’t keep the time and he knew he was probably there for an hour. He kept referring to different songs in his head until the locks of the car were unlocked by the remote. Ryan heard silence, then a door opened and Ryan felt scared. All of those feelings went away when a pair of lips were kissing his and smiled into it. Brendon leaned in more, pulled the bandana off of Ryan’s head and kissed him deeper. Both of them made soft noises at the back of their throats and Ryan couldn’t be happier. When they pulled back, Ryan finally opened his eyes slowly and looked deeply into Brendon’s. Behind them, Spencer smiled because he knew that Ryan wouldn’t be alone for a few days and that Brendon would be around for his favorite holiday. Ryan got out of the car, stood next to Brendon, flirtatiously wrapped the bandana around his neck and pulled him to attack his lips. Spencer chuckled quickly as the two officially made out and waited for them to break for air.
“Hey Ryry,” Brendon whispered as he petted Ryan’s cheek.
“Hey Brenny,” Ryan replied back smiling.
“Aww, my two little love birds, lets get in the car and go home,” Spencer spoke, trying not to ruin the moment. He took the bags and placed them in the trunk while the other two boys got in the back.
----
When they all arrived home, Rachel gave her warm welcome to Brendon and all four of them caught up for a few hours on the living room couch. Spencer held Rachel while Brendon held Ryan and they all laughed until dusk. Ryan saw his boy yawn and soon after, the two of them went into his room to lay down.
“We’re alone at last,” Ryan said with a satisfied sigh.
“Ry…”
“Yeah?”
“You’re so amazing. My flight was too long, but it was worth it because you’re laying right next to me and I haven’t had that for about… I don’t know, but it’s too long.”
“You’re rambling, but I love it.” Ryan moved the wispy bangs out of Brendon’s eyes and smiled up at him. The boy next to Ryan smiled back but closed his eyes soon after.
----
Brendon woke up to the door closing faintly and Ryan froze. He shifted on the bed and opened his eyes slowly.
“Shit, I didn’t mean to wake you sweetie, even when--”
“It’s alright,” said Brendon, “come here.” Ryan nodded and took a few steps, laying next to the other body and immediately arms were wrapped around his waist. “You lost weight.”
“I’m the same as when you last saw me. Your arms got stronger and you’re squeezing me, that’s why.”
“Sorry,” Brendon loosened his arms while Ryan rubbed his biceps with his hands.
“No, don’t be. I like it when you hold me.” Brendon nodded and squeezed him as tight has he could, making Ryan make a little choked out noise that also sounded like a gasp and a laugh. Brendon laughed hysterically when he saw a freaked out Ryan and when both of them tried to calm down, Ryan pulled back his blinds at lightening speed, revealing a bright ray of light on Brendon’s face as he covered his eyes and pouted.
“Ryyyan!”
“Morning! Now you’re up, so make me a smoothie.”
“You’re torturing me!” Ryan kissed him and tried to block the sun out of Brendon’s face when he pulled back, looking into his eyes. Ryan’s mind surprised him again as he remembered a special time with Brendon.
“Your eyes. The way the sun is focusing the light, it makes your eyes glow and look more beautiful than they really are. Don’t move.”
“Ok.” Ryan fixed his eyes to Brendon as he saw Brendon taking out his cell phone. He pressed a few buttons, and soon he was taking pictures of his glowing face and shining eyes.
“Perfect.”
“Look at me,” Ryan said while Brendon looked him in the eyes, “you have the most gorgeous chocolate eyes I’ve ever seen.”
“No, I would do anything to have those eyes. They’re mystical.” Ryan shook his head as he got his sidekick out and began to take pictures of Brendon and his eyes. Ryan smiled as he began to take picture after another, and saving it to his photo album. He placed his phone into his back pocket and got up. He opened the door and looked back. Ryan could see a puppy frown written all over his lover‘s face. He shook his head and made a smile as he walked out of the room.
“Ryan? Hello?” Brendon waved a hand in Ryan’s face as he broke out of his daydreaming stage, shaking his head and looking up.
“Hmm.”
“You alright? Are you getting sick?”
“No. I was just thinking about the time when you were here and when I said your eyes--”
“Were pretty, yeah.”
“Well, I meant beautiful and amazing, like you are.”
“Aww,” Brendon replied and blushed a little bit more while Ryan drew designs on his upper thigh with his fingers.
Ryan looked into Brendon’s eyes and smiled. “I’m ready.” Brendon exactly knew what he was trying to say. It was that he was finally ready to take their relationship to another chapter without letting the memories of his father get in the way.
“Ry…”
“I can’t let him get to me anymore. What happened in the past is done. I can’t change it. I love you more than anything and I’m just ready to move ahead.”
“I love you so much too. God, I’m so proud of you,” Brendon replied as he placed his hands on the pajama pants while Ryan shook his head.
“I’m not trying to beg you to make love to me. I just thought… You would like to know.”
“Okay, well do you want to do it now?” Brendon smiled, wiggled his eyebrows and Ryan nodded. Both of them laid back and soon, Brendon made love to his soul mate for the first time.
----
Christmas came and flew by so quickly that Ryan glowed so much and everyone in the house knew why, but they surely didn’t mention anything. Ryan felt like a whole different person and the others surely were happy that he was happy. Jon and Ellie came early in the afternoon on the 22nd and that night all of them went out for dinner. They got into the sprit of the holiday by decorating the living room with a Christmas tree and everyone laughed as they heard Brendon singing Christmas songs while wrapping himself in the tree lights. Jon helped him out by taking the star off of it and ran all over the house, making believe that he was a “shooting star.” The next night, everyone had a blast playing Twister and Brendon joked to Ryan about shoving his groin on the game floor in his face but obviously, Ryan didn’t mind. Spencer tried to shift so Ryan would lose and land on top of him, but Ellie slipped and her hand landed on Brendon’s pants and made him moan in Ryan’s ear.
“Brendon is going to cave in!” Jon shrieked as he flicked his finger at the pointer. “Left hand on red!” And with that, Spencer slipped, fell and made everyone collapse on each other.
----
“Spencer is going to open my present first,” Ryan said smiling. It was a limited edition cookbook that came with recipe cards and a mini set of measuring spoons.
At the end of the day, Brendon and Ryan walked hand in hand to Sunset Lake. They were sipping on their homemade smoothies and walking Ryan’s new dog, Hobo. Brendon knew he loved dogs so much that he wanted to surprise Ryan with the pooch. Everyone shrieked with love and after they petted her, she jumped in Ryan’s lap. He loved the beagle and knew that they would get along very well.
As they walked in the gates, they began walking on the grass where the cherry blossom trees were, sitting down against the trunk of the tree. Hobo jumped up in Ryan’s lap as she licked his chin, making him laugh.
“So many memories are popping in my mind right now.” Ryan nodded and looked up then at the trees swaying. The wind made his chestnut locks sway as a chill ran down his spine. His hands were on Hobo’s back as chime of the dog tags got his attention and suddenly she jumped off of Ryan’s lap and ran off.
“Hobo! Come back!” Ryan got up and ran after her, trying to clutch the leach as it moved along the grass. Ryan followed her as he stopped at a tree, leafless and lonely. Bending down to pick up the leash with his eyes glued to the trunk, a lump started for form in his throat. He could have sworn that its branches were on fire until he shook his head and saw nothing but that idle figure in front of him. Hobo barked, followed by a whimper as Ryan made a face and tried to shrug those uncertain feeling behind him.
----
It was the day before that Brendon would go back to Houston, but as Ryan woke up, he didn’t find him in his bed. He got confused as he saw Rachel making an omelet and toast.
“Bren’s not in my room. What happened?”
“He left already. I think it was around uh… seven.”
“Did he leave a note?”
“I didn’t see one anywhere, sorry.”
“I CAN’T BELIEVE HE LEFT WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE TO ME!”
“Ry…You need to calm down. Most likely he’ll call you--”
“No! I’ll call him!” Ryan huffed and walked in his room as he speed dialed his number and waited for his voice. Ring, ring, ring. No answer. He got even more upset and he screamed in his pillow as he saw that his bags weren’t located on the other side of the room. He was gone and he could already feel out of place and lonely. Hobo felt startled from Ryan yelling at himself and ran out of the room for cover.
All Ryan could think about was how Brendon left him. He felt like an old doll on a shelf that no one wanted to play with and he decided that he’s getting raggedy by the second.
Jon and Ellie didn’t stay much longer, either. Ryan could feel that strong connection with Jon slowly crumble as the months began to pass from the time he moved to Chicago. Sometimes he needed his jokes to cheer him up every once in a while and his sarcasm that followed. Ryan, Spencer and Rachel drove Jon and Ellie to the airport and said their goodbyes. They said they were planning on being back for the summer and that they would call when they could.
----
Back at college, Ryan knew he was strong, but at moments it felt as though he just wanted to give up on everything and cry his eyes out. Thankfully, he had his sister and his best friend by his side usually when he felt lost.
It was New Year’s Eve and Ryan still hasn’t heard from Brendon. He had just finished a big paper just in time to see the crystal ball go down in Times Square when a tear fell down his cheek, hearing the people full of excitement scream in the city.
Ten seconds before starting the New Year, Ryan locked himself in his room, knowing the couple in the other room would be sharing a kiss happily as ever.
----
Ryan was going to give up as February turned into the very early March. No phone calls, no letters, no emails from Brendon.
----
April 12th and it was the day to celebrate Brendon’s birthday. Ryan felt bad that he didn’t call all day. He knew that should have earlier, but the phone in his hands would shake when he would dial the number. At the last look at the clock, Ryan saw the digits of 7:30 shining in green. He dialed Brendon’s cell number but got his voicemail right away. He groaned and tried again.
'Just one more time, and if he doesn't pick up, it's over,' Ryan thought. When the dialing the area code, Ryan jumped so much that the phone landed on the floor.
“Brendon?!”
“Yeah, hey, it’s me.”
“Hi,” Ryan said, hearing his own voice talk lower than he could hear it.
“I--”
“You should have called me you know. I thought we were over…” Ryan blinked and could see the slight light coming in through his blinds. It gave the sunset its swirling colors of orange, pink and blue away. To Ryan, it made him think of cotton candy and the taste of Brendon’s lips after drinking one of his Capri Suns.
“You have the right for being mad at me.”
“I waited for you, Brendon. Do you know how much it hurt to know that you were gone without a note or anything? No goodbyes, nothing. You completely blew me off and you didn’t even tell anyone of what you were going to do. Do you know how worried I was just by hearing your voice on your voicemail every fucking time I called and not hearing your real one?”
“Ryan, I never intended to do that to you.”
“Do you know how much I’ve been through from not hearing my own boyfriend’s voice every once in a while, to know he’s not in any kind of trouble? Fuck you, Bren!”
“I love you.”
Ryan burst in silent hot tears as they trickled down his plum purple t-shirt. He couldn’t believe what was going on and he knew deep down in his heart that he couldn’t take it anymore. More than three months has been enough and not hearing from him was such a tragedy.
“Well, I l-loved y-you…”
Silence blanked out on the other side of the phone line as Brendon choked on his words.
“Please, don’t do this to me Ry. Please, not on my birthday.”
Ryan heard the door bell the second after Brendon spoke and he hated opening it to a bunch of boy scouts selling chocolate bars, and the speech on how they want to beat the girls.
“Happy Birthday, Bren.” And with that, Ryan hung up and placed the phone back on the charger. He rolled over on his side with the existent tears attacking his eyes.
He let a strong whimpering groan as the door bell rang continuously throughout the house. Ryan threw back the covers that were hanging off of the bed, ran into the bathroom to splash water on his eye-puffed face and trotted to the door.
Ryan unlocked the door and tried to hold back another groan when he opened it with such a force, he thought he was going to hit himself in the face. Brendon looked up from gazing on the bottom of the doorway and looked directly into Ryan’s eyes.
“The reason why I didn’t call or get in touch with you is because…As you can see, I’m moving back home. I don’t know if you would want me back but I changed my courses and taking them online.”
“But…”
“I wanted it to be a surprise-I’m just going to go now.”
“Bren--”
“I did it for us. You have no idea how much I missed you. And really, for me not calling killed me too.”
Ryan began to tear up as he reached out his hand and held Brendon's. Ryan could see the orange moving truck parked on the front and he definitely knew Brendon was finally home. As he looked deeply into Ryan's eyes, he still hoped that it wasn't over, until he got ready to speak.
“Okay, I’ll relax and will you give me another chance?”
Brendon smiled as he reached over and wrapped his arms around his lover. The twinkle in both of their eyes made them blush as they made it into the house, Ryan shutting the door and Brendon attacking his lips. They didn’t hear the footsteps of Rachel and Spencer as they saw the scene. Spencer smiled, wrapped his arms around Rachel and walked into the kitchen happily.
“Mmm,” Brendon sighed.
“I have your birthday present. Wanna see it?” Ryan questions, as he took a step back towards the bedroom.
“Of course,” Brendon said blushing and smiling.
“Happy birthday Brenny boy.”
“I love you so much.”
“I love you too.”
In the corner of the room, Brendon saw a big box wrapped in pink shimmering wrapping paper and walked over to it.
“This isn’t the end. It’s still only the beginning,” he said, looking back at Ryan with a hopeful smile.
AN: Woah. This is over, and I'm so glad that it is. Since I'm finished with my finals, (Thank God!) I decided to get this OUT OF THE WAY! I'm so sorry if anyone got lost or started to read and wanted to continue. This is the end, but there's 2 other standalones waiting to be posted really soon. (And I'm sure that more other stuff will come along too.) Thanks to anyone who commented and the beta's, lj friends and friends that have helped and inspired me along the way. Denisse, Liz, Karina, Charlotte, yay_for_gays, raleighsarusrex, hearts_lust and strlight_fics. (And you mods are awesome as well!) All of you guys are amazing and I hope we'll talk more often soon!
Have a great summer everyone!