A List For You [s/a]
Title: A List For You [s/a]
Author: makeapanicscene
Rating: NC17?
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon
POV: 3rd person, Ryan's, then 3rd person
Summary: (God, no wonder they call it Starbucks; you have to pay five dollars or more to just get a cup.)
Disclaimer: Not true...
Author Notes: Thank you for the rockin' strlight_fics for betaing!
The bus was idle and everyone was asleep, except Brendon. He was listening to his iPod to try to drift off to sleep, but he just couldn’t for some reason. Suddenly, he saw Ryan shift, his journal falling to the floor with a written page facing up. Brendon moved on his side facing the bunk and the small, skinny frame was facing away from him as he reached forward to pick up the journal. Brendon held it softly in his hand in case Ryan rolled over again, but he slowly leaned back in his bunk and started to read Ryan’s mind in his own beautiful words.
-------
April 9
I’m bored as hell. There’s nothing really to do on the couch and I'm watching Zack play Guitar Hero. Jon’s out to get coffee, (God, no wonder they call it Starbucks; you have to pay five dollars or more to just get a cup.) Brendon is out, Spencer is in his bunk sleeping and, fuck, I just want to go home.
Anyways, it seems like Brendon is really getting to me. Whenever we would go on stage, he would almost... hump me instead of tapping my head or poke me non stop during the intermission break. But the one thing that I hate is that he always touches me. He wants me to be around him most of the time, and I know that he likes me more than ever. Brendon asked me out right before we got signed and I still feel like he still likes me. All of the teasing and “How come I can’t get a proper kiss from you?” bothers me to no end. He has changed so much, sometimes it’s like his same dorky personality is on a stick than it is often hard to compare of what he used to be. I miss everything about him before we began to write for the new album. Brendon’s hair makes his head look like a fuzzy mushroom, than when I could see his whole face with those wispy, short bangs. So, before I just settle, I decided to make a list of what I miss of Brendon the most.
Your hair-- cut it short like it was from the beginning and go back to the Garnier Fructis
shampoo. The mushroom head isn’t working out for me… I actually hate it, to be honest.
You wearing your lavender hoodie and those red Nike shoes. (That’s just a major orgasm right there.) When you wear them, it’s so sexy.
The stupid Ugly Doll you used to snuggle with every night and that pout you would do when you petted it.
The personality I know is almost down the drain. Red Bull and Capri Sun makes your day and I know it. Drinking Red Bull right before shows and Capri Suns with your lunch makes me smile, but I don’t think you know that at all.
I don’t know if you still have that mix with “Barbie Girl,” “Celebration” and “Girls Wanna Have Fun,” but looking at you dance like crazy up and down the bus gets me hard; and you’re right. I do love it.
I remember your tears that you would shed when I knew when you wanted to give up on everything and when you thought you weren’t good enough. There were times I felt like you were looking up to me in so many ways and when you wanted to scream at the top of your lungs to let the world know of how much you cared and loved me. You were never useless, stupid or so alone. That should never keep you from doing anything that would make you happy. (I really wish I can really say that to him. Everyday I want to reach out and let him know that things are and will be okay.)
I loved it when you would use my body spray and wait for me to notice while sometimes, I don’t do anything because you’re such a kid most of the time. (And I love just the way you are. Never changing, just keeping your head high and your ears open for the rhythm of the music.)
-------
Brendon smiled as a small tear landed on his pajama pants and closed the journal. He placed it underneath Ryan’s secret spot, his pillow, and he held his breath so Ryan wouldn’t wake up. Brendon pulled the covers up towards his chin, walked into the other room, changed into his lavender hoodie, sprayed the vanilla body spray all over him in the bathroom and put nothing but Red Bull and Capri Suns in the small fridge. He tiptoed into his bunk and with facing the wall, Ryan fluttered an eyelid open and smelled the warm, comforting scent. To Ryan, he didn’t know what made Brendon thought at that moment, but it was one of the first steps of getting back his favorite “Brenny Boy” back.
Author: makeapanicscene
Rating: NC17?
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon
POV: 3rd person, Ryan's, then 3rd person
Summary: (God, no wonder they call it Starbucks; you have to pay five dollars or more to just get a cup.)
Disclaimer: Not true...
Author Notes: Thank you for the rockin' strlight_fics for betaing!
The bus was idle and everyone was asleep, except Brendon. He was listening to his iPod to try to drift off to sleep, but he just couldn’t for some reason. Suddenly, he saw Ryan shift, his journal falling to the floor with a written page facing up. Brendon moved on his side facing the bunk and the small, skinny frame was facing away from him as he reached forward to pick up the journal. Brendon held it softly in his hand in case Ryan rolled over again, but he slowly leaned back in his bunk and started to read Ryan’s mind in his own beautiful words.
-------
April 9
I’m bored as hell. There’s nothing really to do on the couch and I'm watching Zack play Guitar Hero. Jon’s out to get coffee, (God, no wonder they call it Starbucks; you have to pay five dollars or more to just get a cup.) Brendon is out, Spencer is in his bunk sleeping and, fuck, I just want to go home.
Anyways, it seems like Brendon is really getting to me. Whenever we would go on stage, he would almost... hump me instead of tapping my head or poke me non stop during the intermission break. But the one thing that I hate is that he always touches me. He wants me to be around him most of the time, and I know that he likes me more than ever. Brendon asked me out right before we got signed and I still feel like he still likes me. All of the teasing and “How come I can’t get a proper kiss from you?” bothers me to no end. He has changed so much, sometimes it’s like his same dorky personality is on a stick than it is often hard to compare of what he used to be. I miss everything about him before we began to write for the new album. Brendon’s hair makes his head look like a fuzzy mushroom, than when I could see his whole face with those wispy, short bangs. So, before I just settle, I decided to make a list of what I miss of Brendon the most.
Your hair-- cut it short like it was from the beginning and go back to the Garnier Fructis
shampoo. The mushroom head isn’t working out for me… I actually hate it, to be honest.
You wearing your lavender hoodie and those red Nike shoes. (That’s just a major orgasm right there.) When you wear them, it’s so sexy.
The stupid Ugly Doll you used to snuggle with every night and that pout you would do when you petted it.
The personality I know is almost down the drain. Red Bull and Capri Sun makes your day and I know it. Drinking Red Bull right before shows and Capri Suns with your lunch makes me smile, but I don’t think you know that at all.
I don’t know if you still have that mix with “Barbie Girl,” “Celebration” and “Girls Wanna Have Fun,” but looking at you dance like crazy up and down the bus gets me hard; and you’re right. I do love it.
I remember your tears that you would shed when I knew when you wanted to give up on everything and when you thought you weren’t good enough. There were times I felt like you were looking up to me in so many ways and when you wanted to scream at the top of your lungs to let the world know of how much you cared and loved me. You were never useless, stupid or so alone. That should never keep you from doing anything that would make you happy. (I really wish I can really say that to him. Everyday I want to reach out and let him know that things are and will be okay.)
I loved it when you would use my body spray and wait for me to notice while sometimes, I don’t do anything because you’re such a kid most of the time. (And I love just the way you are. Never changing, just keeping your head high and your ears open for the rhythm of the music.)
-------
Brendon smiled as a small tear landed on his pajama pants and closed the journal. He placed it underneath Ryan’s secret spot, his pillow, and he held his breath so Ryan wouldn’t wake up. Brendon pulled the covers up towards his chin, walked into the other room, changed into his lavender hoodie, sprayed the vanilla body spray all over him in the bathroom and put nothing but Red Bull and Capri Suns in the small fridge. He tiptoed into his bunk and with facing the wall, Ryan fluttered an eyelid open and smelled the warm, comforting scent. To Ryan, he didn’t know what made Brendon thought at that moment, but it was one of the first steps of getting back his favorite “Brenny Boy” back.