Moments
So, I had a moment this weekend where I became completely undone.
So, belthazar_b be and I went to the Craftsman Classic Craft Show this weekend. There were some truly fabulous things and we walked up and down every single aisle looking at them. The two things that stuck out were a necklace I did buy for my mother-in-law for Mother's Day and a jacket that was beautiful ... black and gold and a fabulous cut for $165. So at the end I decide to go look at the jacket. While cutting through the middle of the show, I catch a vendor out of the corner of my eye. Someone who'd I'd spent about a 3 or so days looking for online about a month ago.
I found a calligraphy artist named Susan Loy. Cait had 3 of her prints and some of her other stuff all over the house. My favorite though was the "Season" one because it hung downstairs near the dining room where we spent a lot of time and also in Cait's studio. I have always associated this print with another one of the 'nifty things Cait has & introduced me too'. About a month ago, while I was helping Cait's mom and sister get some things for the house, James offered those prints to C's sister. It made me happy for her to have them, but I knew I'd missing looking at it.
Anyway, I stopped into the this lovely lady's booth and promptly burst into tears. She was extraordinarily kind (she brought me paper towels) and pretty much unfased by the emotional wreck standing in her booth. She asked about Cait, and asked if she could give me a hug. She helped me find the print - click here and then go to "larger image" to see it. It's being matted and framed and I should get it in two weeks. It makes me all kinds of happy.
I think though, that I'm still surprised at how much it still hurts. It'll be 11 months tomorrow since Cait passed away and yet there are days that it feels like yesterday. And I am surprised that I can still be emotionally sandbagged by my own psyche at a moments notice. I know there's no moritorium of grief and grieving, and about 6 months ago, I figured out that it wasn't going to be anytime soon, but *damn*.
So, it's Tuesday now ... and for the most part it's better ... I just needed to chat about it, and get it out of my system.
So, belthazar_b be and I went to the Craftsman Classic Craft Show this weekend. There were some truly fabulous things and we walked up and down every single aisle looking at them. The two things that stuck out were a necklace I did buy for my mother-in-law for Mother's Day and a jacket that was beautiful ... black and gold and a fabulous cut for $165. So at the end I decide to go look at the jacket. While cutting through the middle of the show, I catch a vendor out of the corner of my eye. Someone who'd I'd spent about a 3 or so days looking for online about a month ago.
I found a calligraphy artist named Susan Loy. Cait had 3 of her prints and some of her other stuff all over the house. My favorite though was the "Season" one because it hung downstairs near the dining room where we spent a lot of time and also in Cait's studio. I have always associated this print with another one of the 'nifty things Cait has & introduced me too'. About a month ago, while I was helping Cait's mom and sister get some things for the house, James offered those prints to C's sister. It made me happy for her to have them, but I knew I'd missing looking at it.
Anyway, I stopped into the this lovely lady's booth and promptly burst into tears. She was extraordinarily kind (she brought me paper towels) and pretty much unfased by the emotional wreck standing in her booth. She asked about Cait, and asked if she could give me a hug. She helped me find the print - click here and then go to "larger image" to see it. It's being matted and framed and I should get it in two weeks. It makes me all kinds of happy.
I think though, that I'm still surprised at how much it still hurts. It'll be 11 months tomorrow since Cait passed away and yet there are days that it feels like yesterday. And I am surprised that I can still be emotionally sandbagged by my own psyche at a moments notice. I know there's no moritorium of grief and grieving, and about 6 months ago, I figured out that it wasn't going to be anytime soon, but *damn*.
So, it's Tuesday now ... and for the most part it's better ... I just needed to chat about it, and get it out of my system.