"... I said I'm gonna have myself in shambles..."

[make_this_hurt]

This is entry is going to be behind a cut, because it's long. Read if you want, but I doubt anyone actually cares what I have to say, or even reads these fucking entries.

Comments

[barmecidal]

Do they know that sometimes I just feel like screaming at the top of my lungs just to see if people would notice me? Do they know that I no matter what people tell me, I can't ever seem to find myself attractive? Do they know that I refuse to get into a fist fight because I am afraid that I will just let go on someone?

I hear you, loudly and clearly.

I swear, love is so fucking weird. I mean, with the guy I talk about in my journal, I like him so much, yet I don't want the formality of a "committed" relationship. Technically we're not together, and I know it's supposed to be causal, but I would be heartbroken if he went out with another girl. I'm too scared to just SAY how I feel... ok, this is going to be way too vague because I don't want to incriminate myself on a public post.

But onto my rant about life.

I know what you mean. I feel so estranged at school; it makes me so damn depressed every fucking day. I hate reaching out to people and only touching air, you know? I feel like the only time anyone shows any concern is when you're broken, crying, and on the edge and they feel obligated.

However, I hate it even more when people reach out to you when you're on the edge and then close right back up again.

So this is me, reaching out to you. You have my screenname senor (since I'm thinking phone bills would be killer), and anytime you feel like you need someone, you just get ahold of me. I'm going to take a nap, but afterwards, I'll im you if you're on.

You sound like you need a big cyber hug.

*HUG*

Feel better quickstyle. :)