An update for those that care.
Alright, let's see. Update time. I am currently unemployed (because I got laid off. Stupid temp job) , living at home, and generally feel like a waste of space. The only thing keeping me from labeling my life as a complete waste at the moment is the fact that in being laid off, I've been able to focus on losing weight. So far, I've lost 30 lbs. I still have 35 more to go for my goal weight, but it's a start. Yes, at times I have been way less than healthy about it, but I can't really bring myself to care because I'm seeing results.
On the down side, I kinda feel like I'm falling out of touch with life in general. I'm 23 and have nothing. No job, no material anything really, not living where I want to, my body isn't what I want it to be. It's really depressing. So I throw myself into a fantasy world (aka rping) really hard core, and the next time I wake up, I've lost another three years of my life. I have to knock this off. I hate my life so much, that I'm wasting it by not living as myself. Does that make sense. I'm more worried about character interactions than I am about my own interaction with the outside world. I've gotten so far into it that the outside world barely appeals to me anymore. I have a limited amount of friends, no relationship, and yeah, like I said. I have nothing.
Also, I'm a crazy bitch and am going through quarter life crisis, which sadly is a real thing now-a-days. I feel like it's too late and I'm too old to embark on anything. I'm twenty fucking three years old and I'm acting like my life is over. I hate myself sometimes for the way my brain works. It's an ongoing cycle I can't pull myself out of. And it doesn't help that I absolutely don't trust anyone anymore to give me a hand. It always ends badly. IE: What I like to refer to as The California experience. That was a BIG mistake upon mistake upon mistake for so many reasons. I will say though all in all it was a good life experience. It taught me that people are full of shit~ and I got to see Hollywood so yeah. :D
I actually feel a little better now that I've vented all that. Feel free to ignore this.
On the down side, I kinda feel like I'm falling out of touch with life in general. I'm 23 and have nothing. No job, no material anything really, not living where I want to, my body isn't what I want it to be. It's really depressing. So I throw myself into a fantasy world (aka rping) really hard core, and the next time I wake up, I've lost another three years of my life. I have to knock this off. I hate my life so much, that I'm wasting it by not living as myself. Does that make sense. I'm more worried about character interactions than I am about my own interaction with the outside world. I've gotten so far into it that the outside world barely appeals to me anymore. I have a limited amount of friends, no relationship, and yeah, like I said. I have nothing.
Also, I'm a crazy bitch and am going through quarter life crisis, which sadly is a real thing now-a-days. I feel like it's too late and I'm too old to embark on anything. I'm twenty fucking three years old and I'm acting like my life is over. I hate myself sometimes for the way my brain works. It's an ongoing cycle I can't pull myself out of. And it doesn't help that I absolutely don't trust anyone anymore to give me a hand. It always ends badly. IE: What I like to refer to as The California experience. That was a BIG mistake upon mistake upon mistake for so many reasons. I will say though all in all it was a good life experience. It taught me that people are full of shit~ and I got to see Hollywood so yeah. :D
I actually feel a little better now that I've vented all that. Feel free to ignore this.