(no subject)
tell me which is less confusing. i'm re writting my english essay...
#1 (origninal)
Its sort of funny how things work out, you could be having the best time of your life and then something will happen to turn your amazing moment to tragedy. This has happened to me multiple times but the one time that stands out in my mind happened on October 11, 2002. Prior to the event I was at the movies with my few close friends and a new boyfriend, and to an eighth grader something like that was a huge deal. When my mom picked me up instead of the joyful chipper mother that dropped me off I was the recipient of a ominous depressed woman who was most defiantly not the woman who brought me into this world. Looking back I’ve noticed this, but in my conceded thirteen-year-old mind I didn’t think any differently of my mom’s extreme difference in moods. Through out the thirty-minute car ride home not a word had some between my mother and I.
#2 (revised)
As I sit in my seat in English I think to myself, its sort of funny how things work out. Stuff can be going smooth and you can be having the best time of your life, but something will turn your happy moment into a tragedy, just like that. This has happened to me on more then one occasion but the time that stands out truly in my head is October 11, 2002. Prior to you breaking the news to me I was at the movie with a few close friends and a new boyfriend and since at the time I was in the 8th grade. This was a colossal deal to me. When you came to pick me up, there was something different about you instead of the joyful chipper mother that dropped me off I was the recipient of a ominous depressed female who was most defiantly not the woman who brought me into this world. In my self centered thirteen year old mind I didn’t notice this however looking back I have noticed your extreme difference in moods. During the thirty minute car ride from Wilmington to Newark, not a word passed either of our lips into the others ears. As you pulled the car into the driveway you heaved a heavy sigh and put the car in park. I immediately hopped out of the car and ran into the house not knowing what news would hit me
#1 (origninal)
Its sort of funny how things work out, you could be having the best time of your life and then something will happen to turn your amazing moment to tragedy. This has happened to me multiple times but the one time that stands out in my mind happened on October 11, 2002. Prior to the event I was at the movies with my few close friends and a new boyfriend, and to an eighth grader something like that was a huge deal. When my mom picked me up instead of the joyful chipper mother that dropped me off I was the recipient of a ominous depressed woman who was most defiantly not the woman who brought me into this world. Looking back I’ve noticed this, but in my conceded thirteen-year-old mind I didn’t think any differently of my mom’s extreme difference in moods. Through out the thirty-minute car ride home not a word had some between my mother and I.
#2 (revised)
As I sit in my seat in English I think to myself, its sort of funny how things work out. Stuff can be going smooth and you can be having the best time of your life, but something will turn your happy moment into a tragedy, just like that. This has happened to me on more then one occasion but the time that stands out truly in my head is October 11, 2002. Prior to you breaking the news to me I was at the movie with a few close friends and a new boyfriend and since at the time I was in the 8th grade. This was a colossal deal to me. When you came to pick me up, there was something different about you instead of the joyful chipper mother that dropped me off I was the recipient of a ominous depressed female who was most defiantly not the woman who brought me into this world. In my self centered thirteen year old mind I didn’t notice this however looking back I have noticed your extreme difference in moods. During the thirty minute car ride from Wilmington to Newark, not a word passed either of our lips into the others ears. As you pulled the car into the driveway you heaved a heavy sigh and put the car in park. I immediately hopped out of the car and ran into the house not knowing what news would hit me