A Cold and Broken Hallelujah - Part 1
Dean woke, fighting with the sheets that had tangled around his legs, air filled with the soft sounds of breath as he tried to heave oxygen into his lungs. Finally managing to free his legs he fell, tumbling on to the floor, curling in on himself as he tried to slow his racing heart, force his lungs to work slower.
Pulling his knees under his body he pushed himself up, staggering through to the kitchen where he filled a glass from the tap, gulping the cold, clear water. He let his head droop, shifting hips and legs back until he lay sprawled against the cool marble work top, head resting on folded arms. The sweat began to cool, tacky and disgusting against his skin, and Dean pushed himself up, finishing the glass of water. The soft red glow on the oven door told him that it was only 5.15. Dean's shoulders heaved in a sigh and he headed for the shower. He wasn't going to get any more sleep anyway so he might as well make a start on his day.
Two hours later and Dean was back in the shower. He had taken advantage of the unwanted early start, making a pot of proper coffee instead of the instant stuff he usually lived on during the week. After that he had headed out through the back of the house, following the path up into the hills, winding amongst the laurel and pine in a slow steady run, working his muscles and allowing his mind to just float free as the sun turned the world peach and gold around him. He had followed the trail round its wide arc, stopping at the peak to stretch out arms and legs, picking up the pace on the way back down.
Wrapping a towel round slender hips he wandered back into the kitchen, filling a bowl with cereal and eating it standing at the counter, watching the birds as they fluttered at the various feeders hanging in the garden. They had come with the house, and Dean had seen no reason not to continue filling them, the soft trills and the occasional squabble a welcome accompaniment to his morning routine.
Dressing in his usual work uniform of dark trousers, shirt and sweater he headed out to the garage. This and the location were the two reasons he had chosen this house. The garage was large, more than big enough to hold the small Honda he used for getting to work and the other car, sleek lines currently hidden under a tarp, the base of wide spread tyres the only part of it on show. A hand trailed almost unconsciously over the hood, patting gently before Dean climbed into the Honda and headed off to work.
The road up here was narrow, passing places curving into the brush at the side of the road every couple of minutes. Eventually it joined on to a two lane and then the highway heading into the city. Dean had arrived so early that he managed to get parked in the staff lot out back and waving his security pass at the guard he headed into the dim vastness of the building.
When he was small, Dean never would have seen himself working here, not in a million years, but here he was, working in the archive and research section of a library. The slow, careful steadiness of the work, the quiet stillness of the building were all balms to Dean's soul. The staff were all used to him now, quiet greetings returned with a brief wave of a hand. This was another part of the job that Dean liked, the staff very rarely changed, most of them had been there for years before Dean started, and some would probably be there long after Dean was gone.
He wound his way through the towering aisles of books, the smell of paper and leather thick in the artificially cool air. Making his way down a small staircase at the back of the main room he passed through another security door, waving to Morgan as he passed her desk. She flicked him a quick smile, one hand waving at the coffee machine as she took notes with the other, phone tucked between her shoulder and head. He grabbed himself another cup of coffee, nose crinkling with pleasure at the smell, sending Morgan a thumbs up. Another perk of the job, having a secretary who knew what real coffee should taste like. Ducking through his office door, he sidled his way to his desk, tucking his bag carefully underneath, before checking his phone and computer for messages. He had a nice pile of work ready to go and settling into his chair he allowed the outside world, his past and any worries over the future to drift away.
2.
Castiel awoke, stretching pale limbs luxuriantly, enjoying the slide of cool cotton against his skin as he rolled over and slid out of bed. He padded over the soft carpet, wriggling his toes into the thick pile as he headed through to the kitchen. The tiles were cool against his bare feet, making him hop slightly as he adjusted to the temperature change.
He filled the kettle and switched it on before he headed back to the bathroom to take a quick shower. After making his first cup of tea for the day, he shaved and dressed carefully. The three-piece pinstriped suit hugged his figure like it had been made for him, emphasising the trim waist and the soft curve of ass. A second cup of tea was savoured as he checked his messages and made notes of those emails that required answering once he arrived at the office.
This was not the life he had been expecting to live but since their father had lost his temper and sent them all out into the world, he and his brothers had been trying their best to survive and adjust. It was only a short drive from Castiel's apartment to the office but they tried to avoid walking if at all possible. Their firm was rather notorious within the city and there had been several times when Castiel had been recognised in the street, none of which had worked out particularly well. He had no idea how his brothers managed to cope, at least his name wasn't so well known.
Sliding his car smoothly into place in the underground lot, Castiel headed towards the elevators that would take him up to his office.
“Mr Novak. Do you have anything to say regarding the matter of your brother's...”
“No I have no comment on this matter.” Castiel cut the reporter off, reaching into his pocket for his phone, keying up the speed dial number for the in-house security team, who were obviously not doing their job.
“Mr Novak, do you know who will be...”
“I have nothing to say. Any announcement will be made through the usual official channels. I am calling security, so I suggest you make your way out of the building before they arrive.” Castiel pushed the call button, his voice curt and harsh when the call was picked up.
“I would suggest someone up there begins to do their job. There are reporters in the lower car park, they should obviously not be here and I believe that is your job to ensure that this is the case. I suggest you do it, before we find someone else to do it.”
Castiel cut the call off without waiting for an answer, sliding his palm over the sensor at the side of the elevator door. The doors slid silently open, the lush interior a contrast to the bare concrete and steel of the car park. He turned his hard sapphire gaze on the reporter who had followed him, before flicking his gaze to the other elevator, and the numbers above it which flashed a glowing red countdown.
“Please, enjoy your escort off the premises. Do not try to return, security will not be so lax the next time.”
As the doors slid closed, Castiel allowed his head to droop backwards, thudding softly against the mirrored wall. Long lashes slid down to hide the building frustration in his dark blue eyes, one hand burying itself in the messily styled tumble of brunette hair, almost tugging at it as a soft growl slipped free. He did not relish dealing with people like that, preferred to remain in the background, whilst his more socially capable brothers and sisters dealt with the public. He regrets his anger and the way it makes him feel uncomfortable and out of sorts.
However, by the time the elevator doors slid open, Castiel was his usual composed self, hair pushed back into its usual style, eyes as calm and serene as the arch of sky outside the floor to ceiling windows that graced the wall behind the huge reception desk. He nodded at Anna, who raised her hand to one ear, turning off her earpiece and flicking her wrist through the long tumble of auburn hair.
“Michael's looking for you, Castiel. You'd better start thinking of a good place to hide.”
“And you'd better start looking for a new security team. There was a reporter in the parking lot.” Castiel regrets snapping at Anna almost as soon as the words are out, but he's not looking forward to whatever Michael is going to tell him, he just knows it, and Anna's just convenient. Anna simply blinks serenely at him, before flicking her earpiece back on and taking the next call. Castiel mouths “Sorry” at her, relaxing slightly at the wave of slender fingers and the soft curve of a smile as Anna shoos him down the corridor.
Castiel makes it to his office without being spotted and slumps down into his seat for a brief moment before his spine straightens and he clicks his computer on and begins the process of starting his day. One of the secretaries has already been along to drop off the mail and Castiel flicks through it as he waits for the system to log on. He's busy trying to draft a response to the third demanding letter from Ms Leighton without simply writing 'I wish you would shut up and die, stop your ridiculous demands and give your solitary braincell a break.' when the door flies open and a slender figure fills the empty space.
Castiel cannot hide the slight jump, but then sighs loudly and drops his pen. “You wanted to see me Michael?”
“Yes we do, Castiel. As I am sure Anna told you.” Castiel bristles slightly at Michael's tone, but rises to his feet and follows Michael along to the boardroom. Michael shuts the door behind them, moving to the coffee machine to pour himself a large cup. Castiel's gaze moves slowly round the room. Raphael is sitting to Castiel's left, his face expressionless, dark eyes blank. Uriel sits beside him, broad shoulders straining the seams of his suit, a slight smirk playing at the corners of his mouth.
Across from Uriel, not even trying to hide the broad grin that plays across his mobile features sits Gabriel. Castiel is surprised to see him here and a low sense of foreboding starts to build. Gabriel pops the lollipop from its place between those sharp, white teeth and waves it in the air.
“Hey, little bro. Sucks to be you today.”
Michael coughs, frowning at Gabriel, and takes his seat, motioning to Castiel to do the same. Castiel slides into the vacant chair in front of him, posture stiff, the sense of foreboding getting worse.
“I don't know what any of you have heard yet,” Michael pauses for a moment as glances are exchanged, eyebrows raise in silent query, and he waits for them all to return their attention to him. “But, yes it is true. Lucifer will be joining us.” Gabriel is probably the only one that picks up on the slight hitch in Michael's voice as he makes that announcement, everyone else exploding in a babble of questions and surprised comments.
“So....So,” Michael raises his voice on the second attempt, pulling everyone's attention back to him, “I will not be placing myself in the draw this year. Gabriel has already made the attempt last year, and we all know how that ended up.” Gabriel snickers and waves his lollipop as he remarks “Well, I didn't know that He would get so worked up. In some cases two are better than one.”
Castiel shudders as he remembers Gabriel turning up last year, blonde on one arm and and even more lusciously formed red head on the other. He was still actually surprised that Gabriel had managed to leave the room with all his limbs still attached. Needless to say their father had not been impressed, the ceremony had been cancelled before it even started. Castiel comes back to the conversation as Michael places a black glass bowl in the centre of the table.
“Uriel, Raphael, Castiel, it's going to be one of you so, you know what you need to do.”
They each shiver slightly before leaning forward and adding their tokens to the bowl. Michael stands and moves around to stand next to Gabriel. “Since you were the last one chosen, you have the honour of choosing the next volunteer.”
Castiel rolls his eyes at the word 'volunteer'. None of this is voluntary, even being here in this office, doing his job wasn't anything he would have volunteered for. This is punishment pure and simple. Punishment that will continue until someone can manage to complete the terms of the contract that was imposed upon them. Castiel watches as Gabriel rolls up the sleeve of his shirt with a flourish, flashing honey-gold skin and a $20,000 dollar watch.
“So, nothing up my sleeve and I say the magic words - 'Candy, candy candy!' and the winner is...” Gabriel waves his arm theatrically over the bowl before reaching in and pulling out an ebony feather. The feather catches the light, glints of petroleum blue and purple shimmering down the edge of the vane. Raphael and Uriel sink back into their seats, relief showing on both faces to varying degrees.
“Castiel. Oh, baby bro. Guess you're the lucky one. I'd say I was sorry, but heck, out of the three of you, I reckon that you're our best hope. If you can ever get rid of the giant stick that's lodged up...” Gabriel's comment is cut off by the sound of Michael's hand connecting with the back of Gabriel's head.
“Ow, what the heck, Mikey?” Gabriel rubs the back of his head and pouts miserably.
“I'm sure Castiel doesn't need any of your encouragement, if that's what you were intending, and it's Michael, as you very well know.”
Gabriel sinks back into his seat as Michael heads back around the table. He waits until Michael has his back turned before he mutters “And talking of sticks and asses...” Castiel has to fight the urge to smirk, sometimes his brother's inappropriate sense of humour hits the mark.
Michael has made his way back to his seat after placing the bowl back on the plinth at the rear of the room. He taps his fingernails on the table and they all turn back to look at him. Castiel can see Gabriel off to his right, rocking backwards in his chair, candy lodged firmly in cheek. Uriel, Raphael and himself are all turned towards Michael, awaiting the rest of the news.
“As I mentioned earlier, Lucifer will be joining us again, sometime within the next week or so, and he will be under my close supervision.” The last phrase brings a snort from Gabriel, which Michael manfully ignores. “I do of course expect you all to come and say hello at some point, and I know it has been a while since many of us have spoken to him, but I would ask you to ensure that he is not overwhelmed.”
Uriel and Raphael nod and after a moment Gabriel waves a hand too in lazy acknowledgement. “Sure, whatever you say, big bro. Sure he's just dying to see this motley crew again anyway.”
Michael turns his dark gaze on Castiel, and he lowers his own gaze to the table, tracing the grain with delicate fingers.
“Castiel, you will have a week to tie up any important loose ends and then delegate as much of your workload as possible. Uriel, Raphe, I hope you will be able to pick some of it up?”
The two men nod silently before Raphael turns to Castiel, “I'll come see you this afternoon?” Castiel replies with a small nod.
“Remember Castiel, you only have four months to find them, and persuade them to take part. We are all placing ourselves in your hands.”
Castiel nods, he knows what is at stake and has no idea how to succeed when his brothers have failed before him.
---II---
Castiel spends the rest of the day forwarding emails to either Uriel or Raphael, sorting through paper work and trying to ignore the feeling of impending doom. He is aware that Michael had given him a week to tie up loose ends but he really can't see himself being able to wait around the office for a week, knowing that he is wasting precious time. He has no idea where to start with this new task, and the knowledge that everyone is relying on him to do this has him slumping forward, head pressed to the cool wood of his desk.
Raphael finds him in that position, snorting in amusement before patting Castiel's shoulder awkwardly in an attempt to convey his sympathy. Castiel shrugs him off, knowing that the only emotion Raphael is feeling is relief and possibly pity. He talks him through his outstanding cases and leaves the office late that night, knowing that if, or more likely when, he fails this new task, at least he should still have this job to return to.
He's waiting on the elevator, watching the glowing numbers count their way up, wondering if he needs to stop for groceries on the way back to his apartment, when the soft ding and shush of the doors opening startles him from his reverie. He goes to step into the elevator when he realises that it is already occupied. He stumbles to a halt, eyes flickering up to meet a wary, azure gaze.
He had forgotten the colour of Lucifer's eyes, the way his gaze seemed like staring at the very heavens themselves, irises the colour of midsummer skies, bright and shining. Castiel hears the softly voiced “Lucifer,” blinking hard as he realises the word had slipped not from his mouth, but from somebody else’s. He drags his eyes away, body moving automatically to the side and then into the elevator as Lucifer moves past him. Castiel darts a look over Lucifer's shoulder, sees Michael, watches as disbelief turns to hope then something that's close to reverence, closer to love.
He lets his dark lashes fall closed as Lucifer reaches out a trembling hand, sliding the backs of his fingers against Michael's cheek, catching the tear that trembles its way down Michael's soft skin. The lift doors finally slide shut but Castiel keeps his eyes closed until he hears the soft ding and then the echoing silence of the parking garage.
He drives home in a trance, forgetting to stop for groceries, doesn't remember parking his car, or making his way up to his apartment. He comes back to himself slumped against the inside of his front door. He slides down the door, wrapping slender arms around his knees, head falling forward to rest against them. He has four months to find someone to look at him the same way that Michael looks at Lucifer; four months to find someone to stand beside him, to join their voice with his in praise; four months before his father judges them all again and finds them once more unworthy, banishes them to Earth for another year, cut off from light and grace and joy and love.
On to Part Two