Naughty girl, your sex with Legolas would be kinky!
More power to you, after all, who says elves aren't
into bondage, hot wax and other taboo delights?
Chained to a wall in the depths of Moria is where
your forbidden encounter might take place as
you happily submit to the will of your elven
master.
Just be sure to videotape. ;)
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