After what happened with Miss Maximoff, I realized that I had unrealistic expectations left over from it without meaning to and even if they were positive toward people made them not more appropriate or less dangerous. I was even hit because of that.
[Awkward. Awkward.] I'm also retaining some physical effects. [Oh, when your warden is a Time Lord, everything is awkward.]
Maybe a better description would be psychological effects that are manifesting physically. But as for helping, I think they have a policy against wardens assisting their inmates with that sort of thing.
Why won't you? You said that it wasn't me. And I don't want to tell Narvin the extent of what happened to me. Him. That him that wasn't me.
[He doesn't take long to get there. He's direct and robotic, trying to bury that reaction from earlier. He goes into the Doctor's TARDIS, eyeing the table and the console room before shutting the door behind him and walking over.
He pulls out a chair and has a seat, and almost reaches to take the glass.] May I?
[If only he knew what his genetic reincarnation had turned into when he started drinking enough to stay drunk. But at the moment, he just wanted to stop contemplating being punished for things he didn't do.]
[He pours a glass.] He wasn't a bad person. But they took that away from him and he was very close to breaking. [And, glass is downed fairly quickly. And then a tiny pause because that burns. Alright. Good to go again.]
They told him that it was his fault. That he deserved it. His friends were dying to try and stop it and he was afraid at that point to fight back. And he was so ashamed of himself and now I can't even- [Ahhhrgh, he needs another glass before he can finish this statement.
He fills up and goes again.] -I can't even get close to an orgasm without thinking about it and ruining it. Because they had made sure he'd never become a father again without them on his mind. I don't think it was their intention specifically, but it worked. [He puts his forehead against the glass and shuts his eyes after another sip.]
But it's not me. [His little mantra he's been holding onto like a lifeline for weeks.]
Re: Spam!majorum_prideSeptember 8 2011, 23:01:28 UTC
But I don't want to dwell. That's the point of wanting it removed. It's there anyway. I don't even know how I'm dwelling. [Face in hand. He stares at his glass between his fingers.]
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After what happened with Miss Maximoff, I realized that I had unrealistic expectations left over from it without meaning to and even if they were positive toward people made them not more appropriate or less dangerous. I was even hit because of that.
[Awkward. Awkward.] I'm also retaining some physical effects. [Oh, when your warden is a Time Lord, everything is awkward.]
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Why won't you? You said that it wasn't me. And I don't want to tell Narvin the extent of what happened to me. Him. That him that wasn't me.
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[He kind of wants to cry a little bit, to be honest. But he doesn't think that he can, so he just ends up with that pressure in his head.]
Can I at least have something strong to drink? Stronger than humans usually drink.
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But he wants that booze.] Very well. I'll be there in ten.
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He pulls out a chair and has a seat, and almost reaches to take the glass.] May I?
[If only he knew what his genetic reincarnation had turned into when he started drinking enough to stay drunk. But at the moment, he just wanted to stop contemplating being punished for things he didn't do.]
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(The comment has been removed)
[He pours a glass.] He wasn't a bad person. But they took that away from him and he was very close to breaking. [And, glass is downed fairly quickly. And then a tiny pause because that burns. Alright. Good to go again.]
They told him that it was his fault. That he deserved it. His friends were dying to try and stop it and he was afraid at that point to fight back. And he was so ashamed of himself and now I can't even- [Ahhhrgh, he needs another glass before he can finish this statement.
He fills up and goes again.] -I can't even get close to an orgasm without thinking about it and ruining it. Because they had made sure he'd never become a father again without them on his mind. I don't think it was their intention specifically, but it worked. [He puts his forehead against the glass and shuts his eyes after another sip.]
But it's not me. [His little mantra he's been holding onto like a lifeline for weeks.]
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