Just had an unusual request
I received an email asking if they could translate one of my Stargate fanfics into Russian.
I didn't even think that fic was still anywhere on the net, but I must have posted it to one of the Yahoo lists.
::goes to search::
::finds it on Jackfic::
It's...um...a fairy tale...sort of.
TITLE: Three Little Pigs
AUTHOR: MajorSamFan
CATEGORY: Ficlet - Humor, Team
SPOILERS: None
SEASON: Recent [ed note, posted on Jackfic Tue Oct 7, 2003 11:52 am]
SEQUEL: No, but possibility of series of fairy-tale stories….
RATING: G
CONTENT WARNINGS: none
SUMMARY: Sam, the She-Wolf and Jack, the Little Pig who...
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Ask first
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of SciFi/Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story was written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright
infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Once upon a time, on a huge farm on a mountain in Colorado, there was a pig named George who had lots of little pigs in his care. When a snake stole one of his little pigs, George sent for a little pig that had gone off on his own and returned him to the fold. George made him do penance by going through the farm's gate to find the little pig who was taken and to retrieve one of the other little pigs who was lost. He sent along on this adventure several other little pigs and a beautiful she-wolf. The little pigs and the she-wolf brought back the lost pig, though not the little pig who was kidnapped, because the snake had eaten her as well as some of the other little pigs who went along. But they brought a lovely not-so-little brown pig back with them. From then on, George made the three pigs - the one who had gone off on his own but was brought back to the fold, the one who was lost but had been returned to the fold and the lovely brown one who belonged to another fold but was adopted by George - go
on adventures together through the farm's gate with the she-wolf, but the she-wolf wasn't supposed to eat the pigs. She was supposed to help them kill the snakes.
Now George told the little pigs, `You must build a house around your heart, so the she-wolf can't steal it. If she steals your heart, you will be in trouble.' The little pig that had been lost and was returned to the fold bought some straw with which to build a house around his heart.
`Little pig, little pig, let me in (to your heart),' cried the she-wolf.
`Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin,' answered the little pig that had been lost and was returned to the fold. He wasn't going to make the mistake of losing his heart to the she-wolf because he knew what that was like. He'd already lost his heart to a she-wolf before and when she had been taken by a snake, he was very sad.
`Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in,' the she-wolf threatened. And she did. The she-wolf didn't have to blow hard at all before the little pig's `house' blew apart; she just talked with him and supported him and laughed with him, and his heart was hers. It helped that he had allergies and blew half the house down himself.
Next the she-wolf went to the lovely not-so-little brown pig that was from another fold but had been adopted by George. He had built a house of sticks (practice staff weapons, actually), and he was sure this would withstand the she-wolf's tactics.
`Little pig, little pig, let me in (to your heart),' cried the she-wolf.
`Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin,' answered the lovely brown pig that was from another fold but had been adopted by George. And he actually had a neat little tuft of blonde hair on his chin, but he didn't like anyone to ask about it.
`Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in,' the she-wolf threatened. And she did. Well, she spent some time breaking down his barriers, I mean, stick house. It took years of going on adventures with him and helping to kill snakes, but finally his stick fort fell. And all it took was tears. One day, the she-wolf cried in his arms, and melted the sticks like candy. And just as George had warned, the she-wolf stole his heart.
Not content to hold the hearts of two out of three of her little pig companions, the she-wolf went to the little pig that had gone off on his own and had been brought back to the fold. He had built a house with sturdy brick walls around his heart. No way was he letting the she-wolf at his heart! He'd put in rebar and insulation and a solid foundation laced with all the pain of his past experience with another she-wolf and other events in his life. The she-wolf didn't stand a chance, or so he thought!
`Little pig, little pig, let me in (to your heart),' cried the she-wolf.
`Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin,' answered the little pig that had gone off on his own but had returned to the fold.
`Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in,' the she-wolf threatened. And she huffed, and she puffed. This was harder than she thought! One time she worked 24/7 for three months and thought she'd found a way in down the chimney, but all it got her was a burned tail as a fire had been laid with the help of another she-wolf from the other side of the farm's gate - a place called Edora. Another time, she was sure she had him, because the mortar between the bricks of his house were chipped away a little when he had to admit - while being tested to see if he was a zatarg - he sort of wanted to give her his heart. Since George would have been very angry, they left it in the testing room.
There was the time he put a new door in the brick house, but the she-wolf didn't know about it, because only *he* remembered kissing her in the time loop. He almost tore the house down himself when this weird entity took over the she-wolf, but instead he shot the she-wolf with a magic gun to make the entity go away. He was glad she was okay.
When the little pig who'd been lost but returned to the fold ascended to a higher plane of existence, both the lovely brown pig and the she-wolf thought they saw some of the bricks from his house tumble, but the walls stood firm. Then once when he was very, very sick, the she-wolf talked him into going to see the snakes for help, and he went because she asked so nicely. That didn't work out very well, and a really bad snake almost ate the little pig. But with some moral support from the ascended little pig and lots of effort on the part of the lovely brown pig, a visiting pig from the other side of the farm's gate - a place called Kelowna - and another snake, the she-wolf ate the mean old bad snake and rescued the little pig. Surely then his brick walls would fall, but no, they seemed stronger than ever.
Every now and again, it seemed the little pig put in a new window or a new door, but never was it enough to weaken the walls so the she-wolf could huff and puff and blow them down. Finally one day, all the bad snakes were eaten, and George didn't care any longer whether
the she-wolf stole the little pig's heart. George suggested the little pig demolish the brick house around his heart and give his heart as a gift to the she-wolf who had wanted it for so long. The little pig did as George suggested. He moved to a small cabin in Minnesota and took the she-wolf with him, because it would be much easier for the she-wolf to keep his heart safe there.
I didn't even think that fic was still anywhere on the net, but I must have posted it to one of the Yahoo lists.
::goes to search::
::finds it on Jackfic::
It's...um...a fairy tale...sort of.
TITLE: Three Little Pigs
AUTHOR: MajorSamFan
CATEGORY: Ficlet - Humor, Team
SPOILERS: None
SEASON: Recent [ed note, posted on Jackfic Tue Oct 7, 2003 11:52 am]
SEQUEL: No, but possibility of series of fairy-tale stories….
RATING: G
CONTENT WARNINGS: none
SUMMARY: Sam, the She-Wolf and Jack, the Little Pig who...
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Ask first
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of SciFi/Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story was written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright
infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Once upon a time, on a huge farm on a mountain in Colorado, there was a pig named George who had lots of little pigs in his care. When a snake stole one of his little pigs, George sent for a little pig that had gone off on his own and returned him to the fold. George made him do penance by going through the farm's gate to find the little pig who was taken and to retrieve one of the other little pigs who was lost. He sent along on this adventure several other little pigs and a beautiful she-wolf. The little pigs and the she-wolf brought back the lost pig, though not the little pig who was kidnapped, because the snake had eaten her as well as some of the other little pigs who went along. But they brought a lovely not-so-little brown pig back with them. From then on, George made the three pigs - the one who had gone off on his own but was brought back to the fold, the one who was lost but had been returned to the fold and the lovely brown one who belonged to another fold but was adopted by George - go
on adventures together through the farm's gate with the she-wolf, but the she-wolf wasn't supposed to eat the pigs. She was supposed to help them kill the snakes.
Now George told the little pigs, `You must build a house around your heart, so the she-wolf can't steal it. If she steals your heart, you will be in trouble.' The little pig that had been lost and was returned to the fold bought some straw with which to build a house around his heart.
`Little pig, little pig, let me in (to your heart),' cried the she-wolf.
`Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin,' answered the little pig that had been lost and was returned to the fold. He wasn't going to make the mistake of losing his heart to the she-wolf because he knew what that was like. He'd already lost his heart to a she-wolf before and when she had been taken by a snake, he was very sad.
`Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in,' the she-wolf threatened. And she did. The she-wolf didn't have to blow hard at all before the little pig's `house' blew apart; she just talked with him and supported him and laughed with him, and his heart was hers. It helped that he had allergies and blew half the house down himself.
Next the she-wolf went to the lovely not-so-little brown pig that was from another fold but had been adopted by George. He had built a house of sticks (practice staff weapons, actually), and he was sure this would withstand the she-wolf's tactics.
`Little pig, little pig, let me in (to your heart),' cried the she-wolf.
`Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin,' answered the lovely brown pig that was from another fold but had been adopted by George. And he actually had a neat little tuft of blonde hair on his chin, but he didn't like anyone to ask about it.
`Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in,' the she-wolf threatened. And she did. Well, she spent some time breaking down his barriers, I mean, stick house. It took years of going on adventures with him and helping to kill snakes, but finally his stick fort fell. And all it took was tears. One day, the she-wolf cried in his arms, and melted the sticks like candy. And just as George had warned, the she-wolf stole his heart.
Not content to hold the hearts of two out of three of her little pig companions, the she-wolf went to the little pig that had gone off on his own and had been brought back to the fold. He had built a house with sturdy brick walls around his heart. No way was he letting the she-wolf at his heart! He'd put in rebar and insulation and a solid foundation laced with all the pain of his past experience with another she-wolf and other events in his life. The she-wolf didn't stand a chance, or so he thought!
`Little pig, little pig, let me in (to your heart),' cried the she-wolf.
`Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin,' answered the little pig that had gone off on his own but had returned to the fold.
`Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in,' the she-wolf threatened. And she huffed, and she puffed. This was harder than she thought! One time she worked 24/7 for three months and thought she'd found a way in down the chimney, but all it got her was a burned tail as a fire had been laid with the help of another she-wolf from the other side of the farm's gate - a place called Edora. Another time, she was sure she had him, because the mortar between the bricks of his house were chipped away a little when he had to admit - while being tested to see if he was a zatarg - he sort of wanted to give her his heart. Since George would have been very angry, they left it in the testing room.
There was the time he put a new door in the brick house, but the she-wolf didn't know about it, because only *he* remembered kissing her in the time loop. He almost tore the house down himself when this weird entity took over the she-wolf, but instead he shot the she-wolf with a magic gun to make the entity go away. He was glad she was okay.
When the little pig who'd been lost but returned to the fold ascended to a higher plane of existence, both the lovely brown pig and the she-wolf thought they saw some of the bricks from his house tumble, but the walls stood firm. Then once when he was very, very sick, the she-wolf talked him into going to see the snakes for help, and he went because she asked so nicely. That didn't work out very well, and a really bad snake almost ate the little pig. But with some moral support from the ascended little pig and lots of effort on the part of the lovely brown pig, a visiting pig from the other side of the farm's gate - a place called Kelowna - and another snake, the she-wolf ate the mean old bad snake and rescued the little pig. Surely then his brick walls would fall, but no, they seemed stronger than ever.
Every now and again, it seemed the little pig put in a new window or a new door, but never was it enough to weaken the walls so the she-wolf could huff and puff and blow them down. Finally one day, all the bad snakes were eaten, and George didn't care any longer whether
the she-wolf stole the little pig's heart. George suggested the little pig demolish the brick house around his heart and give his heart as a gift to the she-wolf who had wanted it for so long. The little pig did as George suggested. He moved to a small cabin in Minnesota and took the she-wolf with him, because it would be much easier for the she-wolf to keep his heart safe there.