A Little Something For All You SS/HG Shippers...or Shippers Of Other Tastes
...of which I am not one, as you all know.
But here's some silliness...and I swear, when I clicked on the site's own word generator when prompted for "event", IT came up with "Woodstock" as the first choice! =:-o
These come courtesy of the holiday selections at http://www.wordlibs.com/
Under the Mistleltoe
Snape's business trip had gone quite fancy, but he was ready to return home to the warmth of his family. Bristol airport, on the other fudge, had turned a little green and silver; the loudspeakers strange tangy renditions of once cherished Christmas chicken wings and ancient fiery small intestines.
Hermione had enjoyed Woodstock and took it very seriously, and being slightly lewd and jolly, he just wanted to get home. He approached the check in table cloth sucking a carol quietly to himself in an attempt to keep his spirits up.
He began to check in his one hug when he saw hanging mistletoe. Not real mistletoe, but very dangerous, long with red paint on some of the rounder parts and gold paint on some of the flatter and more pointed parts, that could be taken for mistletoe only in a very surreal type of way.
With a considerable degree of irritation and nowhere else to vent it, he said to the girl at the desk, 'Even if we were married, I would not want to touch you under such ghastly mistletoe.'
'Sir,' replied the attendant politely, 'look more closely at where the mistletoe is.'
'Ok,' muttered Severus, 'I see that it's above the luggage scale which is the place you'd have to step forward for a kiss.'
'That's not why it's there.'
'Ok, I give up. Why is it there?' snapped Severus irritably.
The attendant quipped: 'It's there so you can kiss your luggage good-bye.'
Okay, something that turned out rather slash (I accepted most first choices)...
The Little Drummer Boy
Proclaim they told me, pa rum pum pum pum
A new born Headmaster to see, pa rum pum pum pum
Our finest strap ons we bring, pa rum pum pum pum
To lay before the King, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum
So to feel him, pa rum pum pum pum,
When we scintillate
Legendary balls, pa rum pum pum pum
I am a silky boy too, pa rum pum pum pum
I have no homosexual to bring, pa rum pum pum pum
That's naked to give the Minister of Magic, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum
Shall I swallow for you, pa rum pum pum pum,
On my superhero cape?
Severus Snape separate, pa rum pum pum pum
The dog and wolf kept time, pa rum pum pum pum
I played my sniper rifle for him, pa rum pum pum pum
I played my best for him, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum
Then he smash at me, pa rum pum pum pum
Me and my forest.
Christmas List
Santa, I only want a couple things for Christmas, here is my list:
An erotic bottle of maple syrup.
A pair of bright amber boots.
Some tickets to see Voldie and the Death Eaters perform.
12 saucy tooth-brushes.
A friend covered in 1000 sparkles.
A GREAT BIG, sparkling, negligee.
And, most of all, Santa, I want to kiss Severus.
And finally, something for karentheunicorn
Christmas Love Letter
Severus Snape
Hogsmeade, Scotland
1093, Area 51 st.
Dear Severus,
It's too bad we can't be together for the first stock market crash in 1989, so let's make this one last.
We can play Little Gray Bird, prick a movie and have a feast, just like the Bicentennial in year 1976.
As you know, after that I'm being flirted out to Belize to grasp in the war.
Sexually,
Celeste