family pet

[spancall]

{Ruki & Reita}
{Ruki's Livingroom}
{Rated PG}



Reita's day so far had been...unusual. Every time he so much as glanced at his reflection he was reminded of the sad fact that he was now expected to wear something around his neck which would look far better on a pit bull.

Lovely.

No doubt about it, it was worth what he had received in return, but that definitely didn't mean he had to like it. There was only one cure for such a mood, and that was pleasant company.

A quick search of the house, and finally he located the only person he really wanted to talk to right now; on the couch, where he often was. "Hey, Ruki." And with that greeting out of the way, he simply decided to lay down and use the smaller man's lap as a pillow of sorts. "What's up?"

Ruki had been half dozing off, getting more and more lethargic thanks to the cold- if that was even possible. He had things to do, such as shop for clothes, since he was sick of the ones he had... and the new year was coming, but...

...no.

He was much more content to sit there and stare at the TV, playing some cartoon about Santa Claus even though Christmas was thankfully over.

"Hello." He waited for a moment to look down at the blonde, who looked very tired and... was he wearing a collar? "What the hell are you wearing? Trying to become a trendy outcast?"

"...Did you really have to notice?" A frown, because really Reita had wanted to talk about nothing, as they usually did, and get as far away from the topic of what he had around his neck as humanly possible. "I'm not wearing it because I want to, and please don't make any clever remarks about it."

He frowned, turning attention to the TV for just a few moments to see what the other was watching. "I think 'What the hell are you watching?' is a much more important question anyway."

Or perhaps it was just the first thing he could think of to try and steer away from Ruki's choice of topic as quickly as he could.

Ruki had to disagree. And as much as he hated being yelled at by Reita, he just had to talk about the damn collar some more. It was impossible to stop himself from commenting on it, as much as he would've liked to change the conversation to Santa.

"Yeah, I had to notice. How could I not? It's not very attractive with the nose condom. Did Uruha give it to you? Does he think you're a pitbull? I hope that's the case, because if you put that on yourself, I might have to kick you out of my house.

A pause.

"...Okay, I'm done." He turned his attention back towards the TV.

"...Yes, he 'gave' it to me. However did you guess?" As if there were any other people around who would force someone to suffer total and utter humiliation. He looked like a dog, he practically felt like a dog. "I have to wear it even if it looks like crap, so please don't make me feel even worse about it, you ass!" Frown. "...I mean ass as nicely as possible, but seriously. Get used to it being there within the next three seconds." The blonde really didn't expect Uruha to allow him to take it off for the next...oh, five years, perhaps?

...If Reita was lucky the drugs would bring about his demise before then.

"You can always cut it off. That's what I did," Ruki replied softly. Honestly, he wasn't at all sure how Reita had ended up with a collar around his neck... or why he'd gone back to Uruha's house in the first place. It seemed rather absurd. "There's no reason to let him own you."

Or anyone.
Hell, in Ruki's opinion, Uruha shouldn't even be allowed to own a house and a car and the air he breathed.

"He's just like the kids at school who beat people up, only with sharper toys." And a cage, but Ruki didn't want to think about that.

Reita had to laugh. "You honestly think I'd wear this thing just because he told me to?!" Oh, funny stuff. "Believe me, I get plenty in return for making an ass of myself and I guess I have to live with it because I'm definitely not cutting it off." Beyond that, he wouldn't share anything because it simply wasn't the sort of 'agreement' you told others about.

Nothing was quite as offensive as the other's use of the word own, however - that had been implied enough today already. "Nobody owns me, nobody will ever own me. I do what I want and fuck anyone who wants to tell me otherwise." And yet, even as he said this he had this stupid strip of leather tight around his neck simply because someone else was giving him nice little presents in return.

Plenty in return? Ruki stopped himself from asking on the basis that he didn't really want to know- except...

"If you're fucking Uruha, please tell me so I can get up right now and go get another STD test."

He didn't know what to say about people owning Reita, because while it seemed impossible... he was wearing that stupid collar. He'd keep that opinion to himself, though. Reita's reaction to such an observation surely wouldn't be very pleasant. He kind of pitied the blonde, really. If there was any kind of debt that should definitely be evaded, it was one to his sadistic neighbour.

"I wish." It would be a lot less embarassing in his opinion, and it was also his opinion that the blonde next door was pretty damn hot for someone who didn't seem to be even remotely sane. "But I think he's made it pretty obvious that isn't going to happen because all I got when I wanted that was two weeks of solitary confinement." He didn't really feel the need to tell the other that he had slept with plenty of people who were far more likely to have some sort of nasty disease than some deranged neighbour. It should have been obvious, in any case.

"He knows how to strike a good deal. Let's leave it at that, okay?" Perhaps the deal wouldn't seem so sweet anymore once he had to go out in public in this sad state but that wasn't of any concern currently.

"Okay." Ruki was content with that so long as he wasn't getting any diseases. What Reita did was his business, really. And he sort of owed him one for helping Olivia out.

"Merry Christmas, by the way." Even though it was, like... a day ago. "Sorry I didn't get you anything. I figured the food you consume in my house and the nights you spend fucking me into oblivion were enough."

Suddenly, Santa Claus was getting on his nerves. Maybe it was the red. Didn't people know that bright colours just made them look fatter? What an idiot.

"Oh, yeah. Merry Christmas." Just getting off the other subject was good enough for him. And Ruki's words made him smile just a little - simply because he knew the other was right. Greedy as he was... "I think I like you enough to get you a little something, even if it'll be late. Any wishes, or am I free to get you something cheap and useless?" He really didn't do Christmas - it certainly wasn't as big a deal as it was in the West anyway...but somehow, the fact that he could think of a few people he felt close enough to this year to spend some of his own money on them felt...stupidly good.

"But I'll say the same thing I always do: You know you enjoy those nights, and you know you don't give a damn if I raid your fridge."

A small smirk. "I don't deny that. And... if you want to get me something, make it a surprise. That's more amusing, since there's nothing I want that I can't go buy." A small grumble. Ruki rarely received gifts, but when he did, it was always more fancy decorations for his house, like he needed any more. What kind of sane person actually appreciated throw pillows?

...But one thing was for sure: whatever Reita got, it had to be funny. Whether it was bought with Ruki's money or not.

"Make it as cheap and useless as possible. Other than that, I consider going with Hana to be a gift."

One last glance at Santa before he finally turned the TV off. Reita was much more interesting.

"Cheap and useless works just fine for me." A smirk, before the blonde was suddenly looking up at his friend a little more seriously. "But you can't consider that a gift. I went with her because I didn't want her to get hurt more than because you asked me to. I wouldn't do someone a favor like that, usually; you're just lucky that I care about you two enough to agree to go wandering round at some stupid hour in the morning when I should be asleep."

He frowned when the TV seemed to die suddenly. "Oh, I get your undivided attention now, huh?" He'd be lying if he claimed not to love attention. "Pet me." A little smile - if he was going to look like a dog he deserved all the love one got as well.

Pet me?

"You want me to pet you? Like a cat? Or are you asking me to fondle your crotch?" Either seemed very possible in Reita's case. Ruki wasn't really sure he felt like fondling a crotch at the moment, though. It was too cold out to get naked... and he was too tired. Maybe he should get a bell for that collar of Reita's. The amusement would be worth the screaming he endured.

...Probably.

He could always tie it on while Reita was asleep. Revenge for the temporary loss of his sunglasses... or something.

"I was kidding. Cause I have the collar on, figured I deserve all the other priveleges pets get." Like free food, a nice place to sleep, and - oh, he already had all of those things. "I'm not really in the mood to have anyone fondling my crotch." A rare occurence. "...You should mark that down on the calendar maybe, because on any other day I would really enjoy being fondled in any way."

"So I meant pet me like a cat." And the look he gave his friend made it clear that he still expected him to do so.

A day Reita didn't want sex?
Really?

...Really?

"No way," Ruki murmured, truly awed. It was astonishing enough to prevent him from saying anything rude about Reita wanting actual pet treatment, so he simply obliged, running his hands through soft blonde hair. It was sort of creepy to observe just how close Reita really was to becoming the family pet.

Reita couldn't help but smirk a little, found the apparently amazed tone the smaller man's voice held to be more than just a little amusing. "...Is it that hard to believe?"

Actually, the feeling of fingers running through his hair like that could probably grow addictive, eyes falling half shut in contentment.

"I don't like sex more than any other normal guy does." A little more, perhaps, but...well, it was perfectly fine for young men to spend most of their time chasing after women..or men, if they were so inclined.

"No, I think you do," Ruki argued softly, absentmindedly continuing to pet the blonde as if he really were a lapdog. He much preferred this to the blonde's typical aggressive state, as unnerving as seeing him in Uruha's collar was. That day, a docile Reita was a good thing.

"I've never met anyone like you. It's like your brain is divided into a pie chart. 75% is sex, 20% is money and the other 5% is whatever else you can think of that makes your life more pleasant." A frown. "My friend Kyo is horny enough to fuck his students and he's got nothing on you."

...Not that there was anything wrong with it, of course.

"No, no, no. That's all wrong. I like money more than that." But the blonde's voice wasn't angry, held a joking tone above all else - because if he was going to be honest, which he wasn't...Ruki's little analysis of his mind was pretty damn accurate."You should pet me more often," he decided. "It feels really good." Calming...and not many things were, to someone like him.Even laying in bed, sitting around, his mind was prone to racing and perhaps he thought about things too much for someone who didn't have to think too hard.

"And of course he has nothing on me, I devote all of my time to sex and drugs. He probably has a life." Oh well, it was probably not as fun.

Ruki shrugged. "If you can call becoming a teacher to fail every student he has except the ones he's fucking a life, then... yeah, I guess he does." Not really. None of them did. Ruki really couldn't become friends with incredibly useful people because he was so useless towards society. Nobody with a whole lot of purpose would want to hang out with him.

"Funny, that's where most of my time goes as well... when I'm actually doing something." Other than sitting around watching television. Maybe he should learn a useful hobby, like knitting... only knitting wasn't really useful, either.

"Whatever, I think everyone I've met or heard of recently is sort of fucked up so I feel sort of normal." It was nice in a way, but at the same time, it was pretty awful because he liked being able to shock people with incredibly bad behavior.

"...Maybe I'll make a resolution to stop using drugs this new year." A very sudden decision, and Reita wasn't quite sure himself where the idea had come from - perhaps the fact that he now associated his drugs with Uruha, and the stupid collar that bastard had given him was digging into his neck and it hurt.

Ruki had to repress the shock laughter rising in his throat. "Will you? Well, I've got plenty of rooms for you to throw up in if you'd like to detox. Don't go in the one I used for Hana, though. It still smells kind of funny."

...Did he sound like an asshole? Yes, he did.

"...But if you do do that I will support you. Very much."

That was better. If he ever wanted to take him seriously, he should probably do so for them, even though the idea of Reita giving up drugs by himself seemed about as likely as an asteroid falling in the middle of their living room.

"...I don't know if I want to." A frown, and he looked up at his friend. "I do want to, but I don't. Get what I mean or am I confusing the hell out of you?" He didn't really expect anyone to understand what he meant but anyone with an addiction would probably get the idea.

"I can't imagine myself without drugs, but..." He was grinning suddenly, more to himself than anyone else. "I can still drink, right? Fuck it, I'll do it." This would probably be the worst idea he'd ever had, but maybe if he quit now he wouldn't die quite as early as he expected to. "You have to help me stick to it though." The blonde was aleady pretty sure he'd fail, with or without help, but at least he could claim to have tried.

"Yeah, all right. Deal." Ruki shrugged. "You can drink all you want. I don't know if that's how it's supposed to work, but... whatever. Just don't turn into a raging alcoholic and start beating my kid or I'll have to kick you out."

Of course he understood. How could a drug dealer not understand addiction? He saw cases much sadder than Reita regularly. Hell, Olivia had been a bit worse than Reita, even if the gangster had a louder voice.

"...If you quit, I'll give you whatever you want that's not drugs without bitching or calling you weird names."

"I don't wanna be kicked out." He sounded like a kicked puppy, but that was because honestly...it wouldn't feel right to go back and live in his own house. "I'll be nice to your kid." He had a feeling he would anyway, since he seemed to grow attached to everyone else in this house, so it was pretty much a given that he would end up genuinely liking the child as well.

Once it was a toddler, at least. There was no baby on earth the blonde could tolerate.

"You don't really need to reward me for doing my body some good for once..." Reita frowned deeply, wondering if perhaps the pusher figured bribery was the only thing that would actually help. It probably was. "But I won't say no if you're offering me something." Some things never changed.

"I'm just saying you deserve a reward for putting yourself through agony," Ruki replied simply. He was no expert on helping people through rehab, to say the least. Really, his technique was to lock people in a room until it was all out of their systems. Cruel, but effective. "So I won't bitch if you crawl on top of me at eight in the morning and demand to shove your dick down my throat."

...Probably.

How likely was it that Reita would actually do that? Ruki couldn't recall a time he'd wanted any kind of sex at 8am. Really, he couldn't recall a time he'd been awake at that time.

"....Aww, you're so generous." The taller man smiled up warmly - a nice offer, though he also seriously doubted he would ever want anything that early in the morning besides more sleep. "Too bad I think I'll end up in rehab if I decide I'm actually serious about it."

The gangster's real concern was not for his health, but rather for the fact that people could control him far too easily like this and he really didn't need to allow himself to be made a fool of as he currently was. His recent encounters with Uruha really had really opened his eyes, so to speak.

"But I'd come back, cause you'd miss me pissing you off all the time."

"Don't go to rehab," Ruki replied quietly. As much as he hated to admit it, he really didn't enjoy it when Reita disappeared for a long time, not that it had happened more than once. But even so... it had sucked. "They make it take forever because they give you other drugs and then you get addicted to those or some shit like that. It's stupid. I can lock you in an empty room and bring you popsicles instead."

...What living person would find that remotely appealing?

"That's how I got Hana off drugs. Unwillingly."

His memories of her screaming at him didn't make him really want to see Reita detox, however. She had definitely wanted to kill Ruki at that time. Reita actually could.

The blonde's eyes widened considerably. "...I'm not being locked in a room. I spent two weeks in a cage! I think I've wasted enough time being locked up." And yet, would rehab be all that different? Not really.

"I don't know. I didn't even think I was seriously addicted until I was trembling in the corner of that cage." How pathetic, how sad - he really didn't want to be someone so weak and dependent on anything. "But I need to do something about it, and I'm serious enough not to laugh about it because it's not funny."

The gangster rolled onto his side, finding it to be much more comfortable. "Hey. Would you seriously miss me?" A quiet laugh, because it was still very satisfying, being told that he was more than welcome in this house. Maybe he was addicted to that too...

"Yeah." Even if Ruki did tell lies, there was no point in lying about this. "You're like... the family pet, only better, because you require less maintenance than a dog. And you're a lot more fun."

It occurred to him that he had been mindlessly petting the blonde for, like, half an hour. Amazing that neither one of them was getting sick of it.

"And of course it's serious." Very few things were, but addiction was. "My mom was a crackwhore. You're nowhere near the brink of utter destruction, as far as I can tell. Quit while you're ahead."

"Well, I guess you're the only person in the neighbourhood who takes it up the ass from their pet then. Hopefully, at least." He smirked, content to have said something suitably alarming - this conversation had been getting far too depressing.

Too bad it was quickly turning serious again. "Yeah, if only it was that easy. I can't help it if I need coke, I can't just tell myself enough is enough because my body isn't gonna listen, is it?" A heavy sigh, but that was more than enough worrying for one day. "Let's talk about it when it's not...this year anymore."

Ruki was sufficiently startled by Reita's comment enough to drop the subject entirely. Not that it was anything out of the ordinary for the blonde, but he usually didn't throw such comments in the middle of such a grim topic.

"...There are some pretty strange people in this neighbourhood." That seemed like a decent enough response. "Like the model guy who keeps randomly showing up at my house talking about how awesome he is. I really don't get some people."

...They were really good at changing the subject, weren't they? Avoiding anything remotely serious? Oh, well. That was probably a good thing.

Oh good, the topic was over. "A model...Who the fuck? Is he really hot?" Ah, it felt so good to say something normal. "And if he's not, I'll make sure he knows that he isn't as awesome as he thinks he is." It was just too sad to see people walking around with that attitude when they were really nothing special.

Sort of like Reita did, but he was blissfully unaware of that, just like everyone else who was just the same.

"Maybe I'll play my role and sit at the front door and bark at intruders." How incredibly dull that would be, since even Ruki probably didn't get that many unwanted visitors. "I'll do that if you give me treats in return."

Ruki couldn't help laughing. Reita was really playing up this dog thing, wasn't he? The mental image of him climbing on Jun ki and humping his leg was... special.

...And alarmingly easy to imagine.

"I guess he is. He's sort of too pretty. You know? Like an Aryan. Only I think he's from Korea." That made no sense at all, but oh well. "I'm not sure how he'd react to you drooling and biting his ankle." Probably try to sue them. Celebrities were so fucking annoying.

Reita rolled his eyes, but gave a soft laugh anyway. "Well, the good thing about not actually being a dog is that I don't have to do the annoying things like drooling and pissing on the carpet." And that was the end of that joke, as much as he was still enjoying the whole petting thing.

"Anyway, pretty and hot aren't the same thing; there are loads of 'pretty' people I wouldn't fuck even if you paid me to. Models are always easy anyway." That said, Reita didn't really have any desire to meet any more of Ruki's neighbours.

Uruha had hardly been the most pleasant of finds.

Ruki shrugged. "I guess he's hot, too. But he's too manly for you, I'd think. Not quite so submissive as I am, especially since he apparently knows he's better than everyone else."

What an annoying line that had been. Ruki hated such shameless displays of arrogance. It was one thing to be loud and assertive. Jun ki, as far as Ruki knew, was all talk.

"He has one of those dolls. Like Kai... except his moves like it's got really bad osteoperosis. Be thankful for Kai." Not that he had any doubt that everyone in that house already was.

"Oh, fuck that. I'll take you over some cocky bastard who probably isn't all that great any day." One arm looped lazily around the smaller man - it was intended as a compliment, but Reita would probably never learn how to give them correctly.

"I am thankful for Kai. Kai is the best fucking robot ever, and I'm not saying that just because I taught him how to put pants on. It's kinda sad that he's not real. He can't enjoy anything in life, he doesn't even have a life." Pretty depressing. "So the osteoporosis robot would probably just make me really fucking sad."

Ruki smirked. He could recognize a compliment when Reita was giving one- and they actually meant something from him, probably because he was typically so insulting of most people. Ruki didn't really care what other people thought, and was generally indifferent, but it was still nice coming from Reita.

"It was pretty fucking sad. He was even shorter than me as well. Whoever makes these robots has a really bad sense of humour." Ruki frowned. "And Kai called the model a slut..."

He hadn't even thought of that again until now. Kind of disturbing, though funny.

The blonde couldn't hold back a laugh. "I told you Kai was awesome." He tilted his head up to look at the other. "I see you smiling up there, don't get big headed just 'cause I think you're cute or I'll start insulting you regularly again."

Why had he stopped that, anyway? There was no valid explanation, because he did it to everyone, regardless of how much or how little he liked them. Too much contentment in life, perhaps. It was just a very long good mood, and it would undoubtedly be brought to an abrupt end when business became troublesome again as it always did.

"Hmph." A small shrug. "I seem to recall you coming downstairs just to tell me that my head was already big." And maybe it was- not his ego, surely, because he didn't love nor hate himself. He just sort of accepted himself as not really fitting in and didn't care either way. But his hair...

Even he could admit it was a little... large.

"So what does it matter?"

It didn't, because they both knew that he never took the blonde's insults seriously any more than Reita took anything anyone said seriously.

The blonde raised an eyebrow, reaching up to play with the smaller man's hair. "It's not my fault you choose hairstyles than make your head look like a beach ball. On the bright side, you're still attractive with a big head so you must have a lot going for you, right?" Enough compliments to last the other a lifetime, surely.

Reita glanced at his watch and sighed. "Well, thanks for the petting session and the tempting offer to lock me in a room, but I should head to the store and do something productive unless you have any better ideas." And he didn't expect Ruki to have any sort of exciting idea, so he stood suddenly, looking back to this friend as if he was waiting for something.

A snort. "You're out of your mind if you think I do. Well, I have to shop for clothes, but I don't feel like doing that right now. And you wouldn't wanna go with me anyway."

...Sigh.

Eventually, he'd work up the motivation to move.

"Have fun being productive. And if you wanna get locked in an empty room, just let me know. I'll put a TV in there or something."

"I won't have fun. And you're right, I don't wanna go clothes shopping, ever but I sort of feel I should go with you some time so I can stop you from standing in one spot for a month trying to work out which one of two shirts will compliment your skin tone best or something."

Oh lord, why could he see it? Perhaps from hearing tales of the amount of time it had taken the other to buy all his sunglasses.
Yeah, maybe he would avoid going along at all costs, but send a search party out if Ruki wasn't back within a few days.

"Anyway, I'm waiting for my goodbye kiss, you heartless bastard."

"Jesus, you're demanding." But Ruki obliged, pressing a quick kiss to the blonde's lips. He chose to ignore the part about him standing there trying to pick out a shirt, because... well, it was true. As much money as he had, he was somewhat picky with what he spent it on, mostly because he didn't like having ugly things lying around his house.

Not that he'd bought, anyway. His parents had left enough behind.
...Maybe he should redecorate?
...That was a joke.

"Tell your subordinates that I said good afternoon."

"Yeah, well you're fucking stingy with your kisses. Are you my grandma or something? Because that's the only person I expect kisses like that from." But he waved a hand dismissively to signal that he was only joking, didn't really care. "Let's never ever talk about locking me in a room again, you can go shopping once you get off your ass, and I can go work."

He turned away again and began to walk off, pausing one last time by the door. "I hope you don't expect them to send you any greeting back, because they won't, but I'll tell them you said hi. See you later." A wave, and he was gone.