(no subject)
[[JJ and Satsuki]]
[[JJ's house]]
[[Satsuki pays JJ a surprise visit and gets a surprise himself.]]
[[R for suggestive themes and language]]
It had taken some time for Satsuki to convince himself that it was okay to do this, simply show up at JJ's house unexpected- after all, the writer was a very private man. Satsuki didn't really know anything about him, when he thought about it.
But it was okay, right? JJ showed up to see him unexpectedly on a regular basis, so it was about time he started doing the same.
He had no idea how to be a good boyfriend, had debated on whether he should show up with a gift or not and simply settled on no to avoid looking stupid. He hid his bike on the side of JJ's house and wandered to the front door to knock.
JJ was in his bed, straddled over someone who wasn’t Satsuki, someone who was basically a stranger, placing kisses all over their neck and collar. Small whimpers came from the smaller person before they were silenced with more kisses from the writer. A hand snuck its way towards the other’s pants before he was startled by a knock at his door. His eyes narrowed before he got off his bed and quickly went to a window to see who was at his door.
The narrow eyes widened as a small gasp escaped the writer’s lips. “Satsuki…”
Perfect timing asshole.
”Shut up…” he muttered to his better other half.
Quickly moving back to his room he yanked to small boy off of his bed before pulling him over to his closet and shoving him in. His eyes narrowed again and a finger was pointed. “Don’t make a sound. Don’t move. Be invisible.”
The closet door was slammed closed before the writer finally made his way to the door to answer it.
”Satsuki. What a surprise,” he said with a small smile on his face.
Get rid of him. Now
Satsuki had expected a bit of surprise, but not for JJ to look so... hassled. Like he'd been in the middle of something. Perhaps... writing? Lord knew that had to get stressful at times.
"Hi, Jun." He bit his lip, unsure if he should just leave and come back another time. Leave it up to the writer, perhaps? "Are you busy? I can come back later..."
He didn't want to, but just because he didn't have that much of a life didn't mean JJ was the same.
Fuck yeah we’re busy
“No it’s fine,” he replied continuing to smile.
No it’s not fine! Get him out
The smile faded as the writer stepped out of his doorway to allow his boyfriend to come in. He rubbed his head, starting to feel his headache worsen by the second. He hated when he got angry. The writer had to agree with him sometimes, he did need to keep Satsuki’s visit short for fear that he would find their little secret.
”How have you been?” A little small talk and the blonde could be on his way.
Satsuki allowed a small smile to grace his features. Good; maybe he could help alleviate a bit of the writer's apparent stress... somehow.
"Bored," he said softly. "I worked all day and came home and did homework... and I'm not done, but I wanted to come see you." Maybe he wouldn't finish at all, depending on how things went...
"How about you?"
“I’m alright,” he nodded saying as he led them to his living room to sit. The further away they were from his room the better. “I have a deadline coming up soon so I’ve been pulling a few all-nighters.” He chuckled a little as he sat on his couch. Only part of that was true, yes he had been staying awake all night for the past few days but that wasn’t because of a deadline on his novel.
”I’m glad you came by. I feel much better now.”
"That's good." Satsuki sat closely next to JJ, leaning against him almost shyly. "Another masterpiece in the work, eh? What's this one about?"
There was a sense of pride in being so close to the writer, just because someone so brilliant had chosen him, of all people. There was no doubt in his mind that JJ could have just about anyone he wanted and he'd settled on little Satsuki the student and common store worker.
It seemed almost unreal, really. Like a cheesy movie only much cooler.
“It’s my final novel.” He began as he wrapped an arm around Satsuki’s shoulder. Even if it’s for a day JJ always missed being close to Satsuki like this. Maybe he could let him stay a little longer. “It’s about my life.”
About his horrible horrible life that he wished he could forget but knew he never could. He didn’t know why he decided that once he finished it, that it would be the end of his career as a writer but he didn’t care. He had Satsuki now and that was all he really wanted.
Final novel? At such a young age? That... was strange. Satsuki's eyes widened in surprised, not even bothering to hide it.
"Last one? Already?" What would he do after that? The student wasn't sure if it was his place to ask. "Well, I'll definitely read it. Especially if it's about you..."
Autobiographies were kind of pretentious, in his mind, unless one really had a life worth writing about... but he could guess that JJ's would be good regardless.
JJ smiled sadly knowing Satsuki’s reaction was exactly how he imagined it. How could he tell the other that after he finished his novel he would most likely end up in jail for the disgusting things he had been doing for the past few years.
”Yes, the very last. My life makes for a good story but the fact that it’s non fiction may cause some problems which will cause me to end my career anyway.” End his career and his life all in one page turning best seller.
Confusion etched itself all over the smaller man's face. "O-oh... you think your fans won't like to read about your life?"
Of course they would; all anyone cared about was what celebrities did when they weren't being celebrities. And Satsuki himself was oh so curious; maybe it was okay to ask, since JJ was writing a book about it.
But would that mean he'd have to share his own history?
...Well, that was okay. It really wasn't anything but history anymore.
“No….it’s….” JJ sighed as he thought about how to explain it. After a minute of two of being silent he couldn’t think of a way to beat around the bush with it without getting asked more questions. It was time to ignore it completely and move on to another subject.
”Satsuki are you hungry at all?” he asked as he stood from the couch.
The change of subject was both a surprise and a disappointment, but if the writer didn't want to talk about it, then Satsuki wasn't about to make him.
"Oh... yeah, sure. I'm kinda hot, do you mind if I go hang my coat in the closet?" But he didn't wait for a response, was on his feet before the question was even out of his mouth fully. After all... why wouldn't it be okay?
JJ was already half way to his kitchen before he heard the question from his boyfriend. His eyes widened as he turned back around.
”Ah let me put that in the closet for you,” he answered quickly as he quickly walked back towards the closet that held his little secret.
We are fucked.
"It's okay, honey. I'm not that much of a princess." And so he didn't wait for JJ to catch up with him, just wandered over to the closet door and pulled it open...
...only to see the last thing he'd ever expected to see in JJ's closet, ever. In anyone's closet.
A... little boy?
A naked little boy, looking out of his fucking mind with terror?
What the hell was this, Ju-on? Was JJ's house going to kill them?
"U-um..." Satsuki didn't know what to do, so he simply closed the door again, coat still in his hand.
Shit
JJ could feel his stomach sink into a dark pit as his heart raced to the point of making him want to vomit. There were so many emotions running through him he didn’t know what to do aside from stand there just as shocked as Satsuki was.
”S-Sa…” he couldn’t even get his sentence out. “P..please don’t tell anyone…”
Why not? You plan on telling the whole world.
Don't tell anyone?
Did that mean it was what it looked like? Oh, fuck.
Shaky breaths rocked the small man's body, eyes as wide as saucers as he looked at the man who he clearly really did not know. At all.
"W-what... this... this is..." A shaky finger was pointed at the closet. "You mean you..."
“Y-you know how you hear about those missing children on the news sometimes….T-that’s because of me..” A small case of nervous laughter filled the writer as he covered his face, moving to his couch to sit down. He really was going to be sick.
You have fucked everything over…
The man sat on his couch, hands now in his lap, looking vacantly at his coffee table. If he had a gun with him right now he had a feeling he would just kill himself now. He wanted to tell Satsuki about his problems one day but he didn’t want him to find out like this.
”I’m sorry Satsuki..I’m a very fucked up man.”
Satsuki had absolutely no idea how to react to what he was hearing. It seemed far too fucking unreal to be true, and yet JJ was doing absolutely nothing to confirm the idea that what he'd just seen absolutely had to have been an illusion.
He felt dizzy, nauseous, almost unable to stand up. He leaned against the wall, staring straight ahead, trying to think of what to say. What to do.
"W-why... why would you..."
Rape a child?
He wanted to cry. Really, he might very well have been. It was hard to tell anything at that moment.
“Because I hate their innocence..” he said as tears continued to roll down his cheeks. He hated how crazy he sounded but that’s what he was, the crazy writer who raped little boys.
”I hate seeing how happy they are…I hate not being able to think back to my childhood and have happy thoughts like those. I wanted to take from them what my mother took from me.”
And that was the icing on the cake. JJ told his boyfriend how sick and twisted he was and now the writer just waited. Waited for his boyfriend to leave him like his mother did.
It was like a punch in the face. The reasoning seemed so much more complex than what he knew about pedophilia, but that certainly didn't make it more forgivable. Rather, Satsuki just became further confused, leaning further onto the wall to keep steady.
"Y-your mother..." Deep breaths. Breathe. "...what?"
Did he really want to know?
“When I was a child my mother became an alcoholic and often forced herself on me until I couldn’t take it anymore and made another personality to deal with it.”
He was scared to look over at Satsuki. He knew the man probably looked pale as a sheet with a face of pure horror and confusion. JJ took a deep breath as he wiped his tear stained face before continuing.
”This other personality fell in love with mother but she rejected us..him when father found out and kicked us out of the house. He came up with the idea of hurting the children…I just agreed.” JJ’s voice cracked the whole time before he started sobbing. He hated himself so much and wished he had never met Satsuki.
”I’m so sorry Satsuki. I’m sorry.”
Satsuki simply could not breathe through JJ's revelation, just kept staring with huge eyes and his mouth hanging open just slightly. His head might have exploded with the ungodly combination of strong emotion running through it; shock and anger and pity and plain empathy...
"Uh-nnn..."
It was too much. He had to leave and he knew it, but he couldn't move, couldn't really even think anymore with the room spinning before him, fading fading fading. And he didn't even notice the floor getting closer to him until he was sprawled out on it, eyes closing and mind going completely blank.
The writer jumped and immediately looked over to where his boy friend was standing to see that he was now out like a light on his floor.
“Satsuki..” he whimpered as he stood shakily from his spot on the couch to go to his boyfriend’s side. “I’m sorry…” He continued saying those two words over and over as he struggled to pick up the man he had so many feelings for and rest him on the couch.
You ruined everything.
”Please shut up..” he muttered as he opened the closet door again. He stared down at the boy who still had the frightened expression on his face. “Go home. Get your things and go home. I’m sorry.”
JJ watched as the boy quickly stood from the closet and ran to gather his things. He had a feeling the boy might tell the police but none of them spoke to the police about it. The writer took another deep breath before he went down the hall and to his office where he would lock himself out from the world to type the latest chapter of his final novel.
[[JJ's house]]
[[Satsuki pays JJ a surprise visit and gets a surprise himself.]]
[[R for suggestive themes and language]]
It had taken some time for Satsuki to convince himself that it was okay to do this, simply show up at JJ's house unexpected- after all, the writer was a very private man. Satsuki didn't really know anything about him, when he thought about it.
But it was okay, right? JJ showed up to see him unexpectedly on a regular basis, so it was about time he started doing the same.
He had no idea how to be a good boyfriend, had debated on whether he should show up with a gift or not and simply settled on no to avoid looking stupid. He hid his bike on the side of JJ's house and wandered to the front door to knock.
JJ was in his bed, straddled over someone who wasn’t Satsuki, someone who was basically a stranger, placing kisses all over their neck and collar. Small whimpers came from the smaller person before they were silenced with more kisses from the writer. A hand snuck its way towards the other’s pants before he was startled by a knock at his door. His eyes narrowed before he got off his bed and quickly went to a window to see who was at his door.
The narrow eyes widened as a small gasp escaped the writer’s lips. “Satsuki…”
Perfect timing asshole.
”Shut up…” he muttered to his better other half.
Quickly moving back to his room he yanked to small boy off of his bed before pulling him over to his closet and shoving him in. His eyes narrowed again and a finger was pointed. “Don’t make a sound. Don’t move. Be invisible.”
The closet door was slammed closed before the writer finally made his way to the door to answer it.
”Satsuki. What a surprise,” he said with a small smile on his face.
Get rid of him. Now
Satsuki had expected a bit of surprise, but not for JJ to look so... hassled. Like he'd been in the middle of something. Perhaps... writing? Lord knew that had to get stressful at times.
"Hi, Jun." He bit his lip, unsure if he should just leave and come back another time. Leave it up to the writer, perhaps? "Are you busy? I can come back later..."
He didn't want to, but just because he didn't have that much of a life didn't mean JJ was the same.
Fuck yeah we’re busy
“No it’s fine,” he replied continuing to smile.
No it’s not fine! Get him out
The smile faded as the writer stepped out of his doorway to allow his boyfriend to come in. He rubbed his head, starting to feel his headache worsen by the second. He hated when he got angry. The writer had to agree with him sometimes, he did need to keep Satsuki’s visit short for fear that he would find their little secret.
”How have you been?” A little small talk and the blonde could be on his way.
Satsuki allowed a small smile to grace his features. Good; maybe he could help alleviate a bit of the writer's apparent stress... somehow.
"Bored," he said softly. "I worked all day and came home and did homework... and I'm not done, but I wanted to come see you." Maybe he wouldn't finish at all, depending on how things went...
"How about you?"
“I’m alright,” he nodded saying as he led them to his living room to sit. The further away they were from his room the better. “I have a deadline coming up soon so I’ve been pulling a few all-nighters.” He chuckled a little as he sat on his couch. Only part of that was true, yes he had been staying awake all night for the past few days but that wasn’t because of a deadline on his novel.
”I’m glad you came by. I feel much better now.”
"That's good." Satsuki sat closely next to JJ, leaning against him almost shyly. "Another masterpiece in the work, eh? What's this one about?"
There was a sense of pride in being so close to the writer, just because someone so brilliant had chosen him, of all people. There was no doubt in his mind that JJ could have just about anyone he wanted and he'd settled on little Satsuki the student and common store worker.
It seemed almost unreal, really. Like a cheesy movie only much cooler.
“It’s my final novel.” He began as he wrapped an arm around Satsuki’s shoulder. Even if it’s for a day JJ always missed being close to Satsuki like this. Maybe he could let him stay a little longer. “It’s about my life.”
About his horrible horrible life that he wished he could forget but knew he never could. He didn’t know why he decided that once he finished it, that it would be the end of his career as a writer but he didn’t care. He had Satsuki now and that was all he really wanted.
Final novel? At such a young age? That... was strange. Satsuki's eyes widened in surprised, not even bothering to hide it.
"Last one? Already?" What would he do after that? The student wasn't sure if it was his place to ask. "Well, I'll definitely read it. Especially if it's about you..."
Autobiographies were kind of pretentious, in his mind, unless one really had a life worth writing about... but he could guess that JJ's would be good regardless.
JJ smiled sadly knowing Satsuki’s reaction was exactly how he imagined it. How could he tell the other that after he finished his novel he would most likely end up in jail for the disgusting things he had been doing for the past few years.
”Yes, the very last. My life makes for a good story but the fact that it’s non fiction may cause some problems which will cause me to end my career anyway.” End his career and his life all in one page turning best seller.
Confusion etched itself all over the smaller man's face. "O-oh... you think your fans won't like to read about your life?"
Of course they would; all anyone cared about was what celebrities did when they weren't being celebrities. And Satsuki himself was oh so curious; maybe it was okay to ask, since JJ was writing a book about it.
But would that mean he'd have to share his own history?
...Well, that was okay. It really wasn't anything but history anymore.
“No….it’s….” JJ sighed as he thought about how to explain it. After a minute of two of being silent he couldn’t think of a way to beat around the bush with it without getting asked more questions. It was time to ignore it completely and move on to another subject.
”Satsuki are you hungry at all?” he asked as he stood from the couch.
The change of subject was both a surprise and a disappointment, but if the writer didn't want to talk about it, then Satsuki wasn't about to make him.
"Oh... yeah, sure. I'm kinda hot, do you mind if I go hang my coat in the closet?" But he didn't wait for a response, was on his feet before the question was even out of his mouth fully. After all... why wouldn't it be okay?
JJ was already half way to his kitchen before he heard the question from his boyfriend. His eyes widened as he turned back around.
”Ah let me put that in the closet for you,” he answered quickly as he quickly walked back towards the closet that held his little secret.
We are fucked.
"It's okay, honey. I'm not that much of a princess." And so he didn't wait for JJ to catch up with him, just wandered over to the closet door and pulled it open...
...only to see the last thing he'd ever expected to see in JJ's closet, ever. In anyone's closet.
A... little boy?
A naked little boy, looking out of his fucking mind with terror?
What the hell was this, Ju-on? Was JJ's house going to kill them?
"U-um..." Satsuki didn't know what to do, so he simply closed the door again, coat still in his hand.
Shit
JJ could feel his stomach sink into a dark pit as his heart raced to the point of making him want to vomit. There were so many emotions running through him he didn’t know what to do aside from stand there just as shocked as Satsuki was.
”S-Sa…” he couldn’t even get his sentence out. “P..please don’t tell anyone…”
Why not? You plan on telling the whole world.
Don't tell anyone?
Did that mean it was what it looked like? Oh, fuck.
Shaky breaths rocked the small man's body, eyes as wide as saucers as he looked at the man who he clearly really did not know. At all.
"W-what... this... this is..." A shaky finger was pointed at the closet. "You mean you..."
“Y-you know how you hear about those missing children on the news sometimes….T-that’s because of me..” A small case of nervous laughter filled the writer as he covered his face, moving to his couch to sit down. He really was going to be sick.
You have fucked everything over…
The man sat on his couch, hands now in his lap, looking vacantly at his coffee table. If he had a gun with him right now he had a feeling he would just kill himself now. He wanted to tell Satsuki about his problems one day but he didn’t want him to find out like this.
”I’m sorry Satsuki..I’m a very fucked up man.”
Satsuki had absolutely no idea how to react to what he was hearing. It seemed far too fucking unreal to be true, and yet JJ was doing absolutely nothing to confirm the idea that what he'd just seen absolutely had to have been an illusion.
He felt dizzy, nauseous, almost unable to stand up. He leaned against the wall, staring straight ahead, trying to think of what to say. What to do.
"W-why... why would you..."
Rape a child?
He wanted to cry. Really, he might very well have been. It was hard to tell anything at that moment.
“Because I hate their innocence..” he said as tears continued to roll down his cheeks. He hated how crazy he sounded but that’s what he was, the crazy writer who raped little boys.
”I hate seeing how happy they are…I hate not being able to think back to my childhood and have happy thoughts like those. I wanted to take from them what my mother took from me.”
And that was the icing on the cake. JJ told his boyfriend how sick and twisted he was and now the writer just waited. Waited for his boyfriend to leave him like his mother did.
It was like a punch in the face. The reasoning seemed so much more complex than what he knew about pedophilia, but that certainly didn't make it more forgivable. Rather, Satsuki just became further confused, leaning further onto the wall to keep steady.
"Y-your mother..." Deep breaths. Breathe. "...what?"
Did he really want to know?
“When I was a child my mother became an alcoholic and often forced herself on me until I couldn’t take it anymore and made another personality to deal with it.”
He was scared to look over at Satsuki. He knew the man probably looked pale as a sheet with a face of pure horror and confusion. JJ took a deep breath as he wiped his tear stained face before continuing.
”This other personality fell in love with mother but she rejected us..him when father found out and kicked us out of the house. He came up with the idea of hurting the children…I just agreed.” JJ’s voice cracked the whole time before he started sobbing. He hated himself so much and wished he had never met Satsuki.
”I’m so sorry Satsuki. I’m sorry.”
Satsuki simply could not breathe through JJ's revelation, just kept staring with huge eyes and his mouth hanging open just slightly. His head might have exploded with the ungodly combination of strong emotion running through it; shock and anger and pity and plain empathy...
"Uh-nnn..."
It was too much. He had to leave and he knew it, but he couldn't move, couldn't really even think anymore with the room spinning before him, fading fading fading. And he didn't even notice the floor getting closer to him until he was sprawled out on it, eyes closing and mind going completely blank.
The writer jumped and immediately looked over to where his boy friend was standing to see that he was now out like a light on his floor.
“Satsuki..” he whimpered as he stood shakily from his spot on the couch to go to his boyfriend’s side. “I’m sorry…” He continued saying those two words over and over as he struggled to pick up the man he had so many feelings for and rest him on the couch.
You ruined everything.
”Please shut up..” he muttered as he opened the closet door again. He stared down at the boy who still had the frightened expression on his face. “Go home. Get your things and go home. I’m sorry.”
JJ watched as the boy quickly stood from the closet and ran to gather his things. He had a feeling the boy might tell the police but none of them spoke to the police about it. The writer took another deep breath before he went down the hall and to his office where he would lock himself out from the world to type the latest chapter of his final novel.