LOG; Ruki + Reita

[spancall]

Ruki&Reita
Ruki's House --> The Road --> Fast Food Joint
Rated PG for a shitload of swearing.



Reita stood only a few feet from the bed, arms folded and looking strangely pissed off. And for once it wasn't because he'd had an early morning. The reason was far more petty. And that reason still appeared to be fast asleep in the bed. In the blonde's eyes, revenge was necessary - nothing extreme, nothing harmful, just something to teach Ruki a little lesson about causing offense.

It had taken a considerable amount of time to think of something reasonable, but it had clicked in his mind eventually. Every single pair of sunglasses the other owned had been hidden away - every single pair except the ones which were still being worn. It was a little alarming that the idea of sleeping in sunglasses didn't seem strange anymore, but Reita wasn't thinking about that, quickly removed that pair too, hurrying out to hide them with the others.

And by 'hide', what was meant was that he had dumped them in a spare room.

Ruki woke with a start thanks to the sensation that something was very, very wrong- and indeed it was, for the light outside his window was much brighter than usual and he had a sensation of emptiness surrounding his head. He sighed, reaching beside him to find his 'security blanket' which had surely fallen off in his bizarre dreams about going to the carnival with Uruha...

...and found nothing.

He sat up quickly and dug through his sheets frantically for about 30 seconds until he gave up, figuring they'd turn up eventually. It didn't matter- he had 45 days to find them, as he had 45 pairs and was thus on a 45 day cycle. A different pair every day.

Making his way to his drawer, he sort of regretted the fact that he'd gone to sleep in his underwear, but he'd been too lazy to get dressed after his shower the night before. He was immediately distracted from the strikingly nude feeling by the fact that his drawer, usually full of neatly arranged sunglasses in a specific pattern that he'd spent a ridiculous amount of time on, was empty.

They were...

ALL
GONE.

He screamed.

That scream delighted Reita in a way that very few things could, and he practically ran back to the bedroom, forcing himself to look ever so worried. "What's wrong?! Did you have a bad dream or something?"

Oh fuck, nothing had ever seemed as difficult for the blonde as containing his laughter at that moment - Ruki, standing there wearng nothing but his underwear and looking as if he had just been informed he had a month to live.

If only the taller man had a camera, because this was the photo moment of the century.

Bad dream? Ruki only wished this were a bad dream, but it was definitely real- though the look of concern on Reita's face was certainly...

...odd.

Maybe it was a nightmare. In that case, he'd just have to go along with it until he woke up wearing pair #27 and then he could laugh and it would all be okay.

"They're all gone!" His voice was higher in pitch than ever before, even more so than when Reita had date raped him. "A tornado came by and took all my sunglasses!"

...Or maybe...
He froze, staring directly at the blonde, looking for any signs of amusement. Someone had to have done it, and he had his doubts it was Kai or Olivia.

Fuck, it wasn't even worth the effort of trying to keep a serious expression anymore, and without warning the blonde burst into almost hysterical laughter. "A tornado?! Damn, I must have slept right through it!" Why, oh why did Ruki have to say these things?

Oh wait, he had taken what were apparently the pusher's most prized possessions simply to prove a point that he really needed to think before he spoke, anyway. One couldn't go through life like that - abusive words and violence were acceptable in some circles at least. Being quite so bizarre was most likely not acceptable anywhere.

" I threw them away." The words were awfully nonchalant, accompanied by a weak shrug. "...All of them."

Ruki's blood ran cold, eyes widening comically. Utter disbelief- it had taken him two years of nitpicking around store after store to find 45 pairs that he liked enough... that had nothing wrong with them. And now, thanks to this stupid oppressive blonde, he'd have to do it all over again...

It was like a huge chunk of his life had been stolen and discarded without a second thought.

Rather than getting angry, though, he simply stared at Reita without blinking until his eyes demanded darkness and he shrunk back onto his bed, staring directly ahead with an expression of shock and despair similar to the one a person got when they had just been informed their entire family went down on a plane hijacking.

"Aren't you gonna say anything?" How disappointing, he had simply wanted to be screamed at and threatened, to get a reaction out of the other which could be considered normal...and even in a situation like this, it seemed that Ruki wouldn't react as expected.

...It was sort of frustrating.

Could sunglasses honestly mean that much to anyone? Apparently so, but them again most people also valued their pride, and the currently distraught man had injured Reita's enough with downright silly analogies and stupid reactions. "If you're lucky, you might find them in the trash, under the expired food I dumped in there this morning."

He still had every intention of being 'nice' to the other...just not now, because it would bother him forever if he didn't get some sort of payback. He'd be civil when he felt like it. Yeah.

Ruki was on the verge of completely distraught, because he valued very few things and his sunglasses collection had been one of them. The thought of them being damage by spoiled milk made him want to vomit and cry and kill Reita all at the same time.

...That, and he'd sort of been under the impression that Reita was done doing shit like this to him. Sex was generally meaningless, but in this case, it should have at least meant that the blonde stopped pointing guns at him and throwing away his most important possession as if they were nothing.

"Why would you do that?"

Because he was even more of an ass than Ruki had originally thought, apparently.

Reita couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Because you deserve it. You injured my pride and it pissed me off, that's why." Reita valued his own ego more than most after all, so in his sickeningly self-centered opinion it was most definitely fair.

"Maybe you should think before you speak next time." His voice wavered slightly, not really used to being angry with someone in such a calm fashion. What part of him really wanted to do was give the smaller man a black eye and tell him to stop talking bullshit 24/7 - that was a proven method of shutting people up, at least.

...Too bad he didn't dislike Ruki anywhere near enough to treat him quite so badly.

Ruki's expression morphed into one of great confusion. Injured his pride and... pissed him off...? He tried to think of the last time they'd talked, which he couldn't. Really, though, he was aware that he said a lot of meaningless things, but...

Reita was a loose cannon.
Wouldn't he just have shot him in the eye?

"...What are you talking about?" Ruki pulled his knees to his chest, eyes watering from the sudden assault of light. It was like having a hangover- he only went this long without sunglasses if he was in the shower or having sex with Olivia who seemed to prefer ripping them off his face.

The blonde made a sound of disgust, unimpressed that Ruki couldn't remember saying something so distinctly unflattering. "...Don't even worry about it, just know that the reason your precious sunglasses are gone is because you compared my cock to a fucking zoo animal." A murderous tone, not that he intended to do anything more.

It was a stupid thing to get so offended about, but Reita didn't really see it that way. He was, after all, so damn smug that even something most people would laugh off ended up bothering him more and more until he became genuinely angry.

Not because of what people said, but rather the fact that someone could be so...insolent.

Compared his cock to a fucking zoo animal? Ruki closed his eyes, trying to recall what he had said. That afternoon was all kind of a jumble to him; he'd woken up muttering 'what the fuck' for a good 10 minutes before accepting it as something that probably would've happened eventually anyway.

...But what had he said? Something about a lion.. or... a sea lion...
...seal...?

"Oh, that."
...Why was that such a big deal? Ruki said such things all the time, intentionally or not.

He quirked his eyebrow at Reita. "You sure are sensitive. I didn't mean your cock was big and blubbery with whiskers. It's really very pretty for a penis."

"I'm not sensitive!" And already the blonde was completely defensive, didn't want to be called anything he perceived as weak... and the little compliment tagged onto the end of Ruki's explanation certainly wouldn't work in his favour.

... But that was only because Reita figured he was saying such things in the hope of getting his little collection back. Normally, such words softened any blow he planned to deal, physical or not.

Reita's expression turned a little sour, arms folding again. "If you think sweet talking me will bring your sunglasses back from their grave in the trash, you're totally wrong."

Sweet talking? Ruki did not sweet talk, just threw out comments that he either perceived to be true or didn't really care about either way. He hadn't expected to Reita to go dig his sunglasses out of the trash when he'd put them there in the first place...

No, they were gone.
...Forever.

His lip trembled slightly. Endless hours of searching... the only thing he was proud of...

He cast his eyes towards the ground. "You're... a big... shithead."

...Those words were a lot less offensive than other things Ruki had said before, mostly because they sounded like something a ten year old child would say when someone stole a toy or something.

"Yeah, well, since you like comparing things to animals so much, I'll have you know you look like one of those dumb little baby penguins right now."

Not really anywhere near as bizarre as what he had been called, but...oh well. It wasn't really intended to offend anyway, had simply been blurted out in the manner Ruki seemed to say everything: without much thought.

A penguin? Ruki couldn't imagine himself as a penguin; really, he'd always thought he looked like a prairie dog or something small and ineffectual like that. He didn't have low self esteem so much as he'd sometimes admit that he could act like a rodent from time to time.

"I don't mind being a penguin," he said softly, doubting that that was the answer Reita wanted to hear, but he was too upset to care. The fact that he'd lost his favourite thing over some random comment he'd shouted while having a rather large object up his ass was just... too... depressing...

So much that he couldn't tell if the water in his eyes was actually from the sun anymore.

Reita sighed. "...Yeah, penguins are pretty cute." As was Ruki, admittedly, but that was somewhat irrelevant right now. Because making effort not to give into that utterly depressed face was much more important.

How stupid. This whole discussion was stupid.

"Are you...crying?" Surely fucking not. It sort of put the whole 'fairness' thing into perspective though, if sunglasses honestly meant all that much to the pusher. The blonde chewed his lip nervously - he was failing miserably at being less of an asshole, wasn't he? What if someone stole his bike? Would he react in the same way?

....Probably. Sulking, watery eyes and all.

Ruki just shrugged, rubbing at his eyes and not looking at the blonde. Maybe it was a little dumb to get so damn depressed, but for having so much Ruki really felt like he had very little that mattered. He'd never given a shit about style, but for some reason...

...well.
Maybe he was as much of a freak as everyone said he was. No wonder Reita didn't get it- even if he was kind of a defective human being, Ruki was even more so.

"I guess I should... go... buy more now..." Oh, wouldn't that be fun? He was very, very picky- to the point where he pissed himself off.

Reita's reply came quickly, bluntly. "Don't cry, and don't be so fucking stupid." If he just admitted he had them now, there was so little point in having done this at all, he had to let Ruki be upset for at least...oh, ten more minutes or so.

But he seemed so forlorn. It was sad just to look at.

"...I hate you sometimes. Quit making me feel sorry for you, I shouldn't have to be made to feel guilty about this." It actually disgusted him in a way, that he could arrange to have people shot, blackmail them, and make their lives a misery...and yet this was too much to handle, somehow.

He felt guilty? That was a bit of a shock, but not enough to make Ruki like him again. After all, he had just dumped away his prized possession for a stupid comment. "Shouldn't have to? I'll stick something up your ass and see what you call me. Surely it will be more offensive than 'seal'."

...And he even meant seal. He'd meant big... but clearly Reita did not understand the way he talked. Nobody did...

He sighed, wondering if today was just one of those days where he should go back to sleep and get up when it was over.

"...Shut the fuck up, Ruki. The day you stick anything up my ass is the day you fucking die. I'll do a lot more than call you anything." The blonde was clearly a little more than irritated now, both due to the fact that the other was whining at him, and the fact that he was hard to be angry with in the first place.

Fuck, now he was sighing as if life really, really sucked.

"Fine, I'm sorry. I can't do anything about it now." The best act he could put on, knowing full well that all of the pusher's prized possessions were only a couple of rooms away anyway.

Ruki sniffled, wishing desperately that his eyes were covered. He only cried, like, once every six years, and every time he did, no matter how little, it was embarassing and gave him a headache. "Apologies don't ever fix anything..."

And it was true. Ruki valued words very very very little, which was why he was less than careful about the ones he used. Language was just a basic way of communicating and actions were so much more important. After all, it was much easier to lie with words than it was with actions.

"Whatever you say. Just...don't fucking cry about it, it's pathetic." Not quite as pathetic as how bad all of this made Reita feel when he had been expecting to feel immensely satisfied with himself, but still pretty pathetic.

"...Besides, if you cry too much your eyes will be all red and puffy. And that's so unattractive." A forced smile - yeah, a simple piece of stupid advice would completely redeem Reita. This cruel little trick would be forgotten completely....Except it wouldn't.

He'd just have to give them back because his resolve had begun to crumble more with every second he looked at that pitiful sight.

Ruki sniffled again, not looking at Reita. Such a comment would usually be annoying, but at the moment all that mattered was the loss of his prized sunglasses collection. Nothing Reita would say could compare to what he had done...

Once he was back to normal, he'd really consider forcing the blonde to leave. After all, shit like that just wouldn't work.

"What do you care if I'm attractive? What do I care? Even if I let you fuck me you still do stuff like this." Another sniff.

Ruki made a fair point, because while it was nice to share the house with people who were easy on the eyes, it really didn't go beyond that at all. What sort of mattered a little was that the blonde really needed to stop being a total ass to Ruki now, as opposed to later.

If only so that when he finally died, undoubtedly from gunshot wounds or due to being attacked by a psychopath...he could at least genuinely claim to have gotten along with, and actually liked a whole two people on earth.

"You know..." A deep sigh, resigned to giving up on teaching any sort of 'lesson'. "I didn't really throw them away."

Ruki perked up instantly, finally looking at the blonde, expression a mixture of confusion and excitement and irritation. "Y-you didn't?"

He no longer cared what Reita had done, really. The idea that he might not have lost his most prized possessions was enough to make him forgive and forget instantly. For someone often seen as 'complicated', he was really very simple minded when it came to things like this.

"...Then where are they?"

Unless he was making it up, in which case Ruki might have had to poison his dinner that night.

Oh, Ruki seemed to hate him a lot less already. Perhaps he'd even miss the blonde when he was shot in the face some day? Or maybe that was wishful thinking.

"...I'll get them."

And that was exactly what Reita did, exiting the room without a word and returning soon after, struggling to hold all the damn things at once and dumping them on the bed before Ruki a little carelessly. "I'm sorry," he repeated, despite the fact that Ruki found apologies so pointless. "I overreacted a little, I guess.

Ruki was far too relieved to be mad at Reita. He was far too emotionally challenged to feel two opposing things at once, so he just decided to put on pair #28 and forget it had ever happened, which was what he did.

"Cool."

Completely back to normal, he got up, wandered into his closet and put on all of his layers for the day. Feeling much more comfortable, he wandered back out to where Reita was standing.

"I'm hungry, are you?"

"..." Reita was a little lost for words, having expected to be bitched at just a little, but if Ruki was content to be so simple and so forgiving, he wouldn't complain.

He observed the other as the other simply got dressed, apparently deciding nothing out of the ordinary had happened. "...Uh, yeah, I'm pretty hungry." One didn't really think of these things when they were too busy being stupidly offended by someone else's strange outbursts.

Was it some sort of hint? Oh well, he'd take it as one. "...How does a burger sound? 'Cause it sounds damn good to me right now."

Ruki thought about it for half a second before nodding. "Yeah. I like burgers." At one point he'd gotten them daily- possibly even twice a day, but then he'd found himself too lazy to go get them anymore.

...Which was pathetic, but then again, so was he.

"Cool. You drive, I don't feel like it." Driving was annoying, especially in Akachou where the general public had apparently paid the police department to give them a license.

"You lazy little shit." The words held no annoyance or anger, were meant jokingly more than anything else. "...You're sure you don't wanna come for a ride on my bike?" That'd be fun... Perhaps Ruki would have appreciated it more than Mao had.

"I'd get us there in under five minutes, guaranteed." Quite a feat, was it not? But the blonde wasn't particularly opposed to bringing the food back here either, even if he'd probably drop it in the damn road and have to go order more.

Probably more than once.

Bike? Ruki perked up once again, this time with excitement written clearly across his face. Ruki was the biggest fan of any experience that came close to death, but didn't quite get there, and travelling with Reita in a car seemed just about there, but on the guy's bike...

"Yeaaaaaah."

...Wasn't that supposed to be forbidden? Did that mean Ruki actually merited a lack of dislike enough to get special privileges? That was... sort of nice, really, since most people just kind of thought he was a freak from afar.

Reita couldn't help but grin, because there were precious few things which made him as happy as someone showing any sort of enthusiasm, however mild, for his bike.

"Let's go have some fun, then. You can pay for lunch." Rude, but Ruki seemed to have so much money he could probably use banknotes as tissues. And he was getting a free ride. With little more than another quick smile, the blonde was out of the room, always more than a little keen when it came to this particular activity.

Ruki nodded quickly and followed, far too excited about getting to ride on Reita's bike to give a shit about having to pay. Not that he would have anyway- money had very little value to him, which may not have been the case if he didn't have so much, but...

He did, luckily.
Which was good, because he was horrible at keeping up with what was going where, though the bills he'd been getting recently thanks to Olivia had been rather frightening. How could one person stand shopping enough to spend so much money?

It wouldn't be so hard to be nice to someone who found the prospect of breaking the speed limit at every possible opportunity as thrilling as he did, and Reita had practically shot out the door and straight to his favoured method of transport.

...It sort of needed to be washed, but aesthetics were hardly the main reason he loved it so much.

"Hurry up, she's impatient you know!" More of a companion than a bike, really, and the blonde liked to try and stay on the heavy piece of machinery's good side.

"Sorry, I have shorter legs than you," Ruki replied calmly- though that wasn't the issue so much as he downright refused to walk fast when it wasn't necessary. If there was an accurate judgement Reita had made about him, it was that he was really fucking lazy.

He didn't find it all weird that Reita seemed to think his bike was a living breathing organism with thoughts and opinions and emotions- really, it was kind of endearing. Not because he liked schizophrenics (although he was rather fond of them) but because it was sort of nice to see the blonde care about something.

Climbing on the bike, he was sure not to leave more than a few fingerprints. "So, what's her name?"

The blonde tapped fingers idly against a cool metal surface in impatience, face scrunching up in slight confusion when the other man asked what was possibly the most bizarre question he'd ever heard.

He whipped round suddenly, raising an eyebrow. "...I don't name inanimate objects." And even as he said this, he was practically petting the bike as if it was some sort of tame animal.

"Do you want the helmet?" It was held out to the other without consideration, because Reita certainly felt little need to wear it half the time and found his driving to be perfectly safe.

Ruki took the helmet just for the hell of it. After all, knowing Reita, there was a very good chance he'd wrap them around a tree and then they would die... and Ruki didn't feel like dying that day. Not now that he had his sunglasses back, at least.

The helmet, it seemed, was made for people with a typical sort of hairstyle- or at least one that wasn't thick and fatter than their own body. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't fit the damn thing on, much less clasp it together. He stopped and glared it before looking back at Reita.

"I don't think it likes my hair."

The taller man broke into light laughter then, grabbing the helmet from the other and tossing it carelessly onto the grass. "You can trust me. I think we both really want a burger and I have every intention of fulfilling that goal without ending up in a wheelchair."

...Yeah, it was pretty easy to be 'nice' or whatever people wanted to call it.

And soon enough the bike was turned on, making a sound almost like a constant purring. There was a reason it was considered more of a pet than a vehicle. "Hold on tight."

Ruki nodded, adrenaline rush hitting before they even started moving. He'd always wondered what it was like to go at a million miles an hour without the restriction of walls or police... maybe he'd buy a jet and take Reita and his bike to the desert.

Yeah.
That sounded like a good plan- if he could remember that.

He opted to hug Reita's waist, finding the blonde more appealing than ever. Seemed that most people looked best in their element.

As soon as arms were wrapped securely around his waist, the blonde gave a small grin, accelerating far too hard and the tyres screeched in a sort of angry protest against the surface of the road.

"Damn." He'd gotten a little overexcited, perhaps.

But they were on their way soon enough, quickly reaching a bigger street and darting through what little traffic there was on the road with ease, even at an almost stupid speed. Cars were just so useless in comparison.

And as dangerous as it was, Ruki felt insanely at peace, pressing his cheek against Reita's back and watching people stare at them with wide eyes. Had he not been a little worried to move, he might have laughed at them. Such reactions people like them got...

Even better, though, was the feeling from going through the wind at such an ungodly speed. He felt genuinely happy, which was rare for him- would have forgotten about the original intention to get food if it weren't for the gnawing irritation in the pit of his stomach.

The blonde felt similarly calm, didn't have a worry or care in the world when it felt like they were leaving it far behind them anyway. And what did it matter what other people though? They didn't know how to have fun.

They didn't know how to live.

Around a corner and onto the main road, and Reita only saw this as an opportunity to speed up even further - a little too much, perhaps, because the traffic light right up ahead at the crossroad had just turned amber. "I'm running this red light!" A little test, to see if Ruki could handle such an overload of fun, such a huge risk.

Ruki was suddenly much more alert, sitting up straight as if it would prevent the death that was surely about to come to them. It seemed that Reita was going too fast to stop even if Ruki protested...

...and probably wouldn't care anyway...

...so he didn't say anything, just dug his nails into Reita's shirt, staring straight ahead at the light that was definitely about to turn red, which meant the other light would turn green, and the truck just around the corner would crash right into them and they'd both explode...

...Oh, how funny would that be?

And since Ruki apparently had no intention of protesting (not that it would honestly have made any difference), Reita simply smirked, leaning forward as eyes narrowed in anticipation. If they died, they'd die in the most fucking awesome way possible, at least.

It felt like forever until the light turned red, but there was still a considerable distance to go if they had any hope of making it across in one piece. Even the blonde had to fight the urge to close his eyes because that damn truck was already moving as they approached, every second felt like an hour - and suddenly there was the most horrifying sound as the driver sounded the horn...

And just like that, they were across the road and very much alive. Better than sex. That had been better than sex.

Better than sex was an understatement. Ruki felt as if he'd just taken the greatest cocktail of club drugs and experienced multiple orgasms at the same time. He could barely breathe, eyes were wide as tiny UFOs. His nails dug into Reita's side completely unintentionally; he couldn't even tell, couldn't feel much except his heart beating in every single part of his body.

"W-whoa."

And then he laughed, not because it was funny to nearly get killed, but because it his made him alarmingly happy. What most people would find frightening- getting away from a truck at just the perfect second not to become flattened human meat in the gravel- was just the sort of thing he found to be very, very fun.

The blonde wasn't quite sure whether to take the increasing pressure of the smaller man's grip as a good or bad sign, but the laughter which followed soon after answered that question for him. And it made him happy, too - that someone else could actually find it in themselves to enjoy risking their life for no particular reason at all.

"Did you enjoy that?" A simple little question accompanied by a warm smile, and Reita didn't mind taking his eyes off the road for a few seconds to look back at the other and show that he was content. A sharp turn to the right, and within seconds they had finally arrived at the perfect place to get their junk food fix.

"I did." Indeed, Ruki felt a crazy high that didn't seem to want to fade even after the incident was far behind them and he was introduced to the prospect of meat, which was more than welcome at that moment. Nothing like a greasy fatty burger to top off the coolest second of one's life...

...or two of them...

Yeah, that sounded good. He'd clog his arteries and die early, but... who cared? He'd never seen the point in restricting one's self of anything since there was no point in living if they weren't enjoying themselves.

"Thanks." He made a mental note figure out how to ride aroudn with Reita more often.

Reita only laughed, stepping off the bike carefully because after a ride like that, it was inevitably a strange feeling to adjust to standing up and walking around again; it was like that every damn time.

"Don't thank me! I'm not a taxi service or something," he scolded, unable to stand the though. "I'm just glad you had fun." And he was, because nobody ever seemed to enjoy it. Not even the people he generally associated with, who all preferred to drive hideous big cars with tinted windows.

"...Now get your ass off my bike so we can get some lunch."

"Yeah, yeah..." Ruki was all too happy to obey, getting off a little too quickly and stumbling slightly. The ground felt a bit like it was moving, which was... interesting. He licked his lips and headed for the door, trusting Reita would do the same.

"Do you do that every day?"

Ruki was jealous; maybe he should go buy himself one of those things. But then he'd have to learn to ride it and get a license, which would be work... and that was just no fun at all. If there was anything Ruki was bad at, it was putting forth any kind of effort into anything, whether it was worth it or not. It was pretty much a miracle (or a mockery) that he'd graduated high school or achieved any other success in his life.

Reita followed the smaller man, stifling laughter which almost escaped for obvious reasons - hadn't the fact that he had been careful getting off said anything at all to Ruki? Oh well.

"...Usually. My day isn't complete unless I do." It was sort of like how some people simply had to go jogging down the road like idiots every morning in an obsessive routine. A day without a bike ride was a day with a gaping hole right in the middle of it.

"Why? I hope you weren't gonna ask if I'd let you ride it or something, or I'd have to laugh 'til I cried."

Ruki just shrugged, pulling the door open and holding it for the blonde. "Not by myself. I'd crash it into a tree within seconds." Really, he just wanted to be invited every once in a while. Not to often or it wouldn't be as cool, but just... sometimes.

Which clearly wasn't going to happen, and thus he was determined to let the subject drop.

He peered into the place; dirty, greasy, with an extremely fat man wearing a shirt that was too small and had a few holes in it and a group of loud teenagers who were throwing fries at each other. Just the kind of place he wished he had the sense to hang around more often; maybe then everyone wouldn't have the impression that the amount of money had made him a complete cunt.

But upon hearing Ruki's words, the blonde decided not to drop the subject, choosing to stick to it instead. He had never offered something like this to anyone before, but... "If you ever wanna come along, all you need to do is ask. I don't mind an extra passenger if they enjoy the ride as much as I do."

The other customers and the atmosphere of the place were dull and completely unremarkable to Reita. He chose to grab the other's hand and tug him over to the counter instead of marveling at the wonders of this greasy hellhole, as Ruki seemed to be doing. He was hungry, and taking in the sights didn't really work wonders for one's appetite.

"I'll have whatever you're having." And with that, he abandoned the pusher to go in search of a table which was relatively free of grease stains and half empty packets of ketchup people had left lying around.

Ruki lit up ever so slightly at the idea of riding around with Reita whenever he wanted. He'd never expected such an offer from the gangster, who'd he'd assumed hated him right up until the moment he'd decided to fuck him...

...and afterwords, even...

But apparently not, which was nice.

He made his way to the counter and pretended not to notice the odd looks the cashier was giving him. Jeeze, was he that weird looking? "Four cheeseburgers and two medium drinks."

It took disturbingly long for the girl to get it together; clearly, she was another one of nature's mistakes, but Ruki would let it slide so long as he didn't get out of the place with food poisoning. Really, the environment made him extremely glad he was dressed as if it were January. The person flipping their meat was missing three teeth and looked like Ruki's ideal image of an asylum escapee.

Once he'd obtained the food, he found where Reita was sitting and dropped it in front of him. "There you go."

Reita waited patiently for the other, had already made himself comfortable by laying across two seats as if he owned the place. But when Ruki arrived with the food, he made a face which was rather obviously displeased.

"Go get me some fries." Who the fuck didn't get fries with burgers? You had to go all out if you were going to eat absolute junk. "...Please?" He even wanted some greasy potato badly enough to say the magic word.

People were staring at them, as usual. Oh well. It was hard to be so awesome that everyone couldn't take their eyes off you - that was the way Reita took the wide eyed looks from people, at least. As a compliment.

Ruki sighed. Fries? He hated potatoes; they were disgusting and grew out of the mud. Therefore, he'd made it a goal in his life from age 6 to never eat one potato and had been entirely successful...

But if Reita wanted a muddy stomach, that was his problem.

The pusher didn't even say anything, just obediently turned back around and wandered to the counter to get Reita more fries than he could ever hope for. "A large thingy of fries. Make sure they are well in the container, I don't want any of them touching me."

Eyes were rolled at the fuss the other man seemed to be making over nothing at all. They were fries, and Ruki was acting as if he'd just been asked to go and collect a piss sample...using his mouth. Then again, he knew the other well enough by now to imagine that there was probably something about potatoes that would completely and utterly disgust him.

At first Reita had thought that perhaps Ruki was some sort of health freak, but after living with him there was plenty of evidence against that, and it wasn't just the fact that he had apparently purchased enough burgers to feed a family of four. So he figured that this phobia of the dumbest things was just another thing to add to the pusher's seemingly endless list of little quirks.

"...Are you like allergic to potatoes or something?!" An obnoxious shot across the restaurant. Was it even possible to be allergic to potatoes?

"I don't like them," Ruki shouted back, just the slightest bit less loud and obnoxious than the blonde. "They're gross looking and they grow out of the mud. And they've got eyes. Would you eat a fly?"

He picked the fries up off the counter with a napkin. They were incredibly greasy and hot and... potato-ey. Yuck. "I am allergic to a lot of things, though, so I may be."

Like latex.
And dust.
And poison ivy.
And spandex.
And nuts...
And a slew of other things.

Ruki was blissfully unaware that the so-called 'allergies' were merely something his bored little mind had produced in a spurt of useless inspiration. The fries were dropped in front of Reita before Ruki slipped into the seat across from him.

"Oh," came the eloquent reply, because Reita wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to say to that. "...I'm not allergic to anything. But yeah, I'd eat a fly if it tasted like french fries." Besides that, they were probably the closest thing to a vegetable that he would eat without being forced to at gunpoint.

Once Ruki sat down, the blonde immediately picked a fry out of the package and held it out to him - partially to see how the shorter man reacted, and partially because he felt it was his duty to get him to at least try one. "You sure you don't just wanna taste one? They're really good, and they're..." Damn, it was harder than he thought to think of a valid reason to eat one beyond the taste being pretty appealing. Not quite as hard as keeping a straight face, though.

"They're made from the inside of a potato, so you know they haven't touched any mud, and they never had eyes. You should only have a problem with potato skin." What a conclusion.

Ruki flinched at the seeping greasy potato being waved in front of his face. "I don't care what you claim, it grows in the mud and it is sick and I will not touch it." There had to be another reason for his freakish aversion to French fries, possibly a connection from his youth with McDonalds and the stomach flu...

But he couldn't remember and it didn't matter. The point was that he'd never eat a fry. Not once. Never.

"Eat it yourself since you think it's so fucking tasty." He unwrapped one of the burgers and bit into it, choosing to ignore both the french fry and Reita unless he stopped trying to assault him with potatoes.

...Oh well, he tried.

"Fine then, I will." And that was exactly what he did, shoving the entire thing in his mouth, only to lean across the table slightly just so he'd be right up in Ruki's face. "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm." Positively infantile and undeniably obnoxious; Reita didn't care, it was all in good fun. And he didn't count this as being nasty either, this was perfectly friendly, playful behaviour. If you were somewhat socially inept.

Which he was.

"It was fucking tasty," he decided finally, sitting back to continue eating the grease-laden food without teasing the other any further. "And not even a hint of mud." He had become well aware by now that every time he and Ruki spoke, their conversations became increasingly more stupid. And that was okay, because at least they were now comfortable enough with each other to make total asses out of themselves and just not give a damn. Or perhaps, in Ruki's case...he simply didn't realise that he was a downright bizarre individual.

Ruki was still for a long moment, torn between either getting annoyed or laughing. On one hand, it was potatoes and Ruki hated people chewing at him, but then again... it was Reita, so he really should have expected any reaction other than a positively disgusting one.

And two could play that game, right?
Of course.

So instead of cringing, he took a massive bite of his burger and chewed loudly and obnoxiously with his mouth open, staring directly at Reita. He swallowed, then smiled.

"Tasty."

The blonde's eyebrows shot up in surprise - Ruki's actions were taken as a challenge. A perfectly friendly challenge, but a challenge nonetheless. "Fries taste better." Eyes narrowed, and suddenly he was grabbing his own burger, discarding the wrapper and holding it up almost threateningly.

"...In fact, my fries taste so fucking good that I don't want this stupid burger anymore. You can have it." But it wasn't offered to the other. Rather, it was flung at him with considerable force, and Reita smirked as he did it. Maturity? Who had ever even heard of such a thing? Everything except work was just a game and it didn't fucking matter what anyone else thought.

Screw what the staring fat guy, the staff, or the kids who were pelting each other with their own food anyway thought when they saw such silly behaviour from a grown man.

Ruki froze instantly as the burger hit him square in the side of the face with an impressive thud and dropped on his lap. Reita had done a lot of odd things since he'd moved himself into the pusher's house, but he'd yet to see him do something as silly as throw his food at someone else. Ruki felt instantly gross... and fairly amused...

But there would have to be payback, of course. He couldn't just sit there with ketchup on his cheek and look stupid.

So instead of throwing the burger, he picked it up off his lap and stood up to sit it calmly on the top of Reita's head as if it were a completely normal thing to do. He paid no mind to the odd looks they were going, just sat down, wiped his cheek off with a napkin and continued eating.

The blonde could only laugh, tolerated Ruki's actions simply out of curiosity...and found that apparently he wasn't up for a real food fight. Probably a very good thing, for their own sake and for the safety of those around them. And now he had a burger on his head.

Great.

And he simply left it there, just so that he'd 'win' the fight or whatever it was. He'd wash his hair later, and that would be the end of it, provided the ketchup didn't stain his hair some nasty shade of orange. If it did...he'd probably end up dyeing it, and that would suck because it really wasn't easy to achieve this hair color when one's hair was naturally black.

"So...Do I look hot like this?" Of course not. But it was a funny thing to ask before more fries were practically shoved into his mouth. It sort of felt good to let go and act like a little kid occasionally, rather than putting effort into seeming 'cool'.

Ruki shrugged, swallowing before he spoke. He wasn't aware of most things, but he knew that chewing with one's mouth open was generally a bad idea... though with Reita it didn't really seem to matter. "You look like a hot guy with a burger on your head."

He didn't laugh, even though Reita did look kind of stupid. It just... didn't suit him. Wouldn't suit anyone, but especially didn't suit Reita, who somehow could pull off that thing on his face but really needed to avoid any sort of head accessory, be it a hat or a bandana or a burger.

Really, it was kind of a surprise that he hadn't taken it off and thrown it back at the pusher, but maybe he was just... giving up. Or maybe he thought he was winning. Either way, Ruki wasn't complaining about the lack of extra ketchup on his face.

"That's a yes, then." A smug grin, before the burger was finally removed from his head and dumped on the table. People were paid to clean shit like that up, right? Right. "...I'm flattered." Not because Ruki thought he was hot, because the gangster damn well knew he was hot already - rather, he was flattered that the pusher thought he could maintain that sex appeal with an item of fast food on his head.

Modesty...It was a wonderful thing.

And burgers suddenly didn't seem appealing at all anymore, so it was a good thing that he had enough fries to feed a potato-loving herd of elephants right there in front of him. This was a wonderful bonding experience, it seemed, because Reita found himself quite fond of the smaller man after nearly dying with him on the road and having a burger put on top of his head.

"It might be." Ruki didn't really know or care; all he knew was that his burger was very, very good, and that he had a 2nd one for when he regretfully finished the first, which he did all too quickly. Unwrapping the 2nd one, he carelessly let the paper fall to the floor- not because he hated common workers, but because he truly felt there was too much crap on the table.

It was odd remembering how Reita had come to him... over some stupid DVD. The Exorcist, was it? Ruki didn't have a hint of a clue where he'd thrown the damn thing... and that was good, because at that moment, he really kind of hoped Reita wouldn't leave for a while.

...What could he consider the guy, anyway? A fuckbuddy? A... friend?
...Maybe.
...Sort of.

Either way, labels were totally useless, so he'd stick with Reita.

Reita only looked down at his own food briefly, thoroughly disappointed that the smaller man had managed to eat an entire burger in the time it had taken him to eat about five fries. This wasn't right, especially as he was pretty sure Ruki could legally qualify as a midget if he so desired.

"...For such a small guy, you really know how to wolf down a burger." There, he had given a compliment in return for the one he had sort of received. Whether Ruki took it as one or not was pretty irrelevant. And then his phone rang; a loud, obnoxious little tune bringing every other customer's attention to their table once again. "Fuck." A look of distaste once Reita saw who was calling, but it was probably important, so he picked up.

"Hello? No, I'm eating lunch with a real cutie." A pause, a blank look before eyes suddenly moved to Ruki's chest. "...No, he doesn't have nice tits." An irritated glance was suddenly shot to the smaller man for lack of anywhere else to direct it - apparently they would have to head back soon, because there were matters to be taken care of elsewhere; Reita simply mouthed the words 'hurry up' to the pusher, pointing at his remaining food.

Ruki understood immediately, knew exactly where Reita would be going; probably to kill someone or perhaps prevent someone else for being killed. It was cool, and Ruki wished his life were that exciting, so he promptly shoved the remaing half of his burger in his mouth and making himself resemble a chipmunk. Very unattractive, but he didn't care; just got up and headed towards the door while attempting to chew and not gag.

He leaned against the wall, one hand jammed in his pocket and the other covering his mouth, and watched his companion who looked... annoyed. Well, he always kind of looked annoyed, so it really wasn't that big a deal...

...why was Ruki suddenly curious about what was going on?

Hm.
He'd ask later, if he remembered.