Resolution or Reality?
Long time I don’t write huh? -shrugs- I just haven’t really been in the mood nor in the right state of mind. What makes me want to write today? I guess it’s just that I have needed to get something out of my system for quite a while and even if this is something the person it’s meant to will never read it doesn’t matter for it’s just for me.
I had a dream last night, weird ass dream at that though strangely sweet. You know, I really do care about him. I really do love him and all I can say is that I’m glad he doesn’t know it. I’m glad that if I ever actually give him the link to this or he finds it somehow and reads this entry he will have no idea of who the hell I speak of. That’s something so rewarding. Why? Because I don’t wish for him to know I care in that way.
You know I’ve never been one to see the word impossible into things, with the exception of this one time. It’s impossible for anything to happen and it will remain like that for reasons known to myself and myself only. Of course, him not knowing I give a shit also helps yet it’s for the better.
Yes, this -is- a rare glimpse and one that will probably not repeat at what I think of this subject. Hope? Hope’s for the weak darling and hope is for those that won’t open their eyes and see what is obvious to most.
I guess I’ve grown in these past few months yet at the same time I’ve gone back. I went through a year and a half or so of passiveness yet you have no idea how glad I am to have my aggressive and conflictive side back. Why care for those who don’t care for you? Why attempt to help people who have turned around and betrayed you before? It’s simple, just don’t.
I remember that like two years ago I was arguing with Chris about him allowing everyone to step over him yet it seems I allowed that for a while too. I was passive and friendly and I didn’t get anything good from the experience so I withdrew back to how I had the tendency of being. You fuck with me I’ll fuck with you right back. So don’t take it as I’m the same. I’m not about to just stand and wait.
How have I grown? -shrugs- I won’t wait forever for impossible things I won’t look back and mourn for the past. I don’t like something right now I -am- going to change that. Of course I’m leaving one thing as the exception and said exception is the one I began this entry with. Let’s leave that as a reminder to what I’ve done and as to why I shouldn’t go back. -shrugs-
And please, if some one knows what the hell I'm talking about, keep it to yourself. As I said before, I don't want people to know who and what the hell I speak of.
~Happy New Year guys, I hope your resolutions are actually kept and for those that make a wish they have those too.
I had a dream last night, weird ass dream at that though strangely sweet. You know, I really do care about him. I really do love him and all I can say is that I’m glad he doesn’t know it. I’m glad that if I ever actually give him the link to this or he finds it somehow and reads this entry he will have no idea of who the hell I speak of. That’s something so rewarding. Why? Because I don’t wish for him to know I care in that way.
You know I’ve never been one to see the word impossible into things, with the exception of this one time. It’s impossible for anything to happen and it will remain like that for reasons known to myself and myself only. Of course, him not knowing I give a shit also helps yet it’s for the better.
Yes, this -is- a rare glimpse and one that will probably not repeat at what I think of this subject. Hope? Hope’s for the weak darling and hope is for those that won’t open their eyes and see what is obvious to most.
I guess I’ve grown in these past few months yet at the same time I’ve gone back. I went through a year and a half or so of passiveness yet you have no idea how glad I am to have my aggressive and conflictive side back. Why care for those who don’t care for you? Why attempt to help people who have turned around and betrayed you before? It’s simple, just don’t.
I remember that like two years ago I was arguing with Chris about him allowing everyone to step over him yet it seems I allowed that for a while too. I was passive and friendly and I didn’t get anything good from the experience so I withdrew back to how I had the tendency of being. You fuck with me I’ll fuck with you right back. So don’t take it as I’m the same. I’m not about to just stand and wait.
How have I grown? -shrugs- I won’t wait forever for impossible things I won’t look back and mourn for the past. I don’t like something right now I -am- going to change that. Of course I’m leaving one thing as the exception and said exception is the one I began this entry with. Let’s leave that as a reminder to what I’ve done and as to why I shouldn’t go back. -shrugs-
And please, if some one knows what the hell I'm talking about, keep it to yourself. As I said before, I don't want people to know who and what the hell I speak of.
~Happy New Year guys, I hope your resolutions are actually kept and for those that make a wish they have those too.