Great Expectations
Funny that this should be the first entry.
Last night, a friend appeared at my door for maybe the third time. This time, to tell me that he had to leave. He was hurting, he'd been rejected too many times and he couldn't focus on anything else. So, the best thing for him to do, he reasoned, was to get away. (He set up my LiveJournal account before he left. He's such a dear. And now, I can be a new friend!)
I likened him to my cousin, who seemed to be in the same boat. Expecting a lot, and becoming disappointed when relationships are not as glorious as you think they're going to be. Don't have such high expectations, because you're invariably going to be let down. It sounds terribly pessimistic, but it's actually reason and rationality. When people are emotional romantics and dreamers, the unairbrushed reality of things will be really disappointing.
Well wouldn't you know! This morning, at 7AM, I got a phone call from my cousin--who was calling long distance from his apartment in Montreal. Another rejection. One night stand. Fuck and run, but he wanted it to have been more. He was so angry and so upset. "Men are such bastards!" and "I.. I.. I just thought that there was something there, but obviously he didn't see it.."
I think people need to be more forgiving of each other, and understanding. Most people are not deliberately bastards. Most people get scared (even though they seem like the most secure people on earth) and don't know how to gracefully get themselves out of messes.. and people get hurt. But getting hurt doesn't mean you need to stay angry and hurt. It means you bite your lip and rip the band-aid off, because wounds need air, and bruises need to go through many color changes before they heal.
Don't stay angry and depressed. It'll only make things worse for yourself, and make you really not fun to be around. Be kind. Give space. Keep trying.
Last night, a friend appeared at my door for maybe the third time. This time, to tell me that he had to leave. He was hurting, he'd been rejected too many times and he couldn't focus on anything else. So, the best thing for him to do, he reasoned, was to get away. (He set up my LiveJournal account before he left. He's such a dear. And now, I can be a new friend!)
I likened him to my cousin, who seemed to be in the same boat. Expecting a lot, and becoming disappointed when relationships are not as glorious as you think they're going to be. Don't have such high expectations, because you're invariably going to be let down. It sounds terribly pessimistic, but it's actually reason and rationality. When people are emotional romantics and dreamers, the unairbrushed reality of things will be really disappointing.
Well wouldn't you know! This morning, at 7AM, I got a phone call from my cousin--who was calling long distance from his apartment in Montreal. Another rejection. One night stand. Fuck and run, but he wanted it to have been more. He was so angry and so upset. "Men are such bastards!" and "I.. I.. I just thought that there was something there, but obviously he didn't see it.."
I think people need to be more forgiving of each other, and understanding. Most people are not deliberately bastards. Most people get scared (even though they seem like the most secure people on earth) and don't know how to gracefully get themselves out of messes.. and people get hurt. But getting hurt doesn't mean you need to stay angry and hurt. It means you bite your lip and rip the band-aid off, because wounds need air, and bruises need to go through many color changes before they heal.
Don't stay angry and depressed. It'll only make things worse for yourself, and make you really not fun to be around. Be kind. Give space. Keep trying.