it's time for school
After my delightful trip to Portland (for more deets please see Liz's trip travelogue) I found myself with one grad school option left to me. I didn’t think Brooklyn College would be right for me and I didn’t think Portland State University would work out either. Despite absolutely loving the city, and being convinced I could be very happy living there (because we are pretty sure that no one is unhappy there), I knew it would be dumb to go to school there.
Here’s the shortish version of why I didn’t like the school. I met with the head of the department, who seemed perfectly lovely as an individual, but made it clear that this degree wouldn't feasibly let me settle down in Portland and direct theater. He told me I would need to get an MFA for a reasonable expectation of finding work and there isn’t an MFA program in the city I’m interested in. So, no dice. Also, the program seems geared towards students who don’t know what they want to do in theater or didn’t study theater as an undergrad. That is not my demographic.
I didn’t want deciding not to go to Portland to mean the same thing as deciding to go to Scotland. For me, those are two separate decisions and I needed some time to think things through. That being said, I put in my student loan applications last week and if the government wants to fund me, I will be moving to Edinburgh in two and half months.
Yeah, you heard me.
This Place
As you might imagine, I have some thoughts and feelings about such a huge uprooting. The last time I left Pittsburgh I was back again in 12 months and have been here for 2 years since then.
The program is a one year master's degree in European theater. It is more academic than production oriented, although there are workshops with local directors/playwrights. Also, it has the only student run theater in the country so it seems (I don't know for sure) that I could get involved there. I'll be living in the city and writing my thesis during next year's Fringe Festival, which is huge. Maybe it is naive to hope that I might get involved in that by next year but for now all I've got are my hopeful speculations.
Another plus to getting this degree, besides being all posh and shit with my European education, is that if I am happy there, I have an automatic work visa for two years without first having to secure a job. It is hard to imagine at the moment staying there long-term but it is always nice to have options.
So yeah, it is hard to imagine a lot of things. It is hard to imagine not seeing people for at least 12 months and to not know at all the next time I'll see some people. I think it will be hard to not be able to call my family or text them lines from Terminator 2 whenever I want. I worry about my grandparents' health while far away from home. I'll be living on a pretty tight budget. I am nervous to be taking out my first major loans for a degree I have no guarantee will be at all useful in the long run. Oh right, and I'll know no one and nothing about where I'm living.
Yes, I am listing my hesitations before any of my excitement. Welcome to how my mind works about everything!
I've done this sort of thing before, while 16 and not able to understand Japanese and with no real structure to my life. Here, I'll be a student with classmates in a small department and (with luck) I'll be able to figure out what those Scots are saying. It is only twelve months and that kind of time goes fast. People will visit me. The amount of loans I'm taking out is about what many people pay for a new car. I've always managed to find work so far and I will just have to trust that if the economy gets worse, I'll figure something out.
Yes, I realize I just answered my doubts and have yet to say why I'm excited. Your patience has paid off!
Come on, y'all, this is Scotland. Of course I'm excited. I'm really eager to be a student again, corny as that may sound. I feel like I've been doing well to keep educating myself at the library and what not but I want professors and homework and papers in a field I care about. I can't wait to go see Scottish plays (this is me, choosing not to pun about Macbeth) and drink Scotch and generally run around in a new place bein' cool.
There are a ton of other little things that make me nervous (living in a dorm again) or make me excited (exploring the country) and they run through my head pretty much constantly. I'm sad to be leaving Pittsburgh. In fact, I'm still kind of in denial that going there means leaving here. It is risky and scary to go but I'm not doing anything remotely risky by staying here in my office job. This feels like the right choice for me for right now.
All of this hinging on, let's not forget, me getting my loans.
rad - you made it to the end of this entry, congratulations!
lame - holy crap i have a lot to do before moving
Here’s the shortish version of why I didn’t like the school. I met with the head of the department, who seemed perfectly lovely as an individual, but made it clear that this degree wouldn't feasibly let me settle down in Portland and direct theater. He told me I would need to get an MFA for a reasonable expectation of finding work and there isn’t an MFA program in the city I’m interested in. So, no dice. Also, the program seems geared towards students who don’t know what they want to do in theater or didn’t study theater as an undergrad. That is not my demographic.
I didn’t want deciding not to go to Portland to mean the same thing as deciding to go to Scotland. For me, those are two separate decisions and I needed some time to think things through. That being said, I put in my student loan applications last week and if the government wants to fund me, I will be moving to Edinburgh in two and half months.
Yeah, you heard me.
This Place
As you might imagine, I have some thoughts and feelings about such a huge uprooting. The last time I left Pittsburgh I was back again in 12 months and have been here for 2 years since then.
The program is a one year master's degree in European theater. It is more academic than production oriented, although there are workshops with local directors/playwrights. Also, it has the only student run theater in the country so it seems (I don't know for sure) that I could get involved there. I'll be living in the city and writing my thesis during next year's Fringe Festival, which is huge. Maybe it is naive to hope that I might get involved in that by next year but for now all I've got are my hopeful speculations.
Another plus to getting this degree, besides being all posh and shit with my European education, is that if I am happy there, I have an automatic work visa for two years without first having to secure a job. It is hard to imagine at the moment staying there long-term but it is always nice to have options.
So yeah, it is hard to imagine a lot of things. It is hard to imagine not seeing people for at least 12 months and to not know at all the next time I'll see some people. I think it will be hard to not be able to call my family or text them lines from Terminator 2 whenever I want. I worry about my grandparents' health while far away from home. I'll be living on a pretty tight budget. I am nervous to be taking out my first major loans for a degree I have no guarantee will be at all useful in the long run. Oh right, and I'll know no one and nothing about where I'm living.
Yes, I am listing my hesitations before any of my excitement. Welcome to how my mind works about everything!
I've done this sort of thing before, while 16 and not able to understand Japanese and with no real structure to my life. Here, I'll be a student with classmates in a small department and (with luck) I'll be able to figure out what those Scots are saying. It is only twelve months and that kind of time goes fast. People will visit me. The amount of loans I'm taking out is about what many people pay for a new car. I've always managed to find work so far and I will just have to trust that if the economy gets worse, I'll figure something out.
Yes, I realize I just answered my doubts and have yet to say why I'm excited. Your patience has paid off!
Come on, y'all, this is Scotland. Of course I'm excited. I'm really eager to be a student again, corny as that may sound. I feel like I've been doing well to keep educating myself at the library and what not but I want professors and homework and papers in a field I care about. I can't wait to go see Scottish plays (this is me, choosing not to pun about Macbeth) and drink Scotch and generally run around in a new place bein' cool.
There are a ton of other little things that make me nervous (living in a dorm again) or make me excited (exploring the country) and they run through my head pretty much constantly. I'm sad to be leaving Pittsburgh. In fact, I'm still kind of in denial that going there means leaving here. It is risky and scary to go but I'm not doing anything remotely risky by staying here in my office job. This feels like the right choice for me for right now.
All of this hinging on, let's not forget, me getting my loans.
rad - you made it to the end of this entry, congratulations!
lame - holy crap i have a lot to do before moving