It's your birthday, I'm a ninja, it's your birthday - quiet, I'm trying to concentrate!
I...uh, totally forgot about writing something new for my b-day (nothing new there, either). Sooooooo, have something old! :D I'm also pretty behind on DGM, so just consider everything AU-ed since I think I was writing this way back in like, 2007 or 2008 (and I didn't think it was even likely, back then).
And I dunno what I'm going to do today, cuz it feels like I've celebrated two days in a row already. :D
The Tale of Happily Ever Afters
Ch 2 aka:This is not the happy ending you signed up for.
**
All was not light and roses at the Dark Order (the word 'Dark' is in the name, how can it be all light?), but it was fairly close. The Head honcho of the outfit, one Komui Li, reclined in his supervisor's chair with a sense of a job well done.
Now, looking at Komui's office - wall to wall bookshelves jammed full of knowledge, papers and maps and diagrams on the walls, ceilings and floors, and, unknown to many, secret passageways hidden behind all the junk - one might think that the man was a tad disorganized. Just a little, tiny bit. If you happen to pick up a particularly aged mission report stuffed between the pages of a book on tropical birds with physics equations scribbled in the margins on your way to the couch reserved for exorcists receiving orders, you might revise that opinion up to extremely disorganized.
But the truth was Komui was really quite organized. What contributed to the general impression of chaos was the fact that all his lists were in his head and his sense of priorities made as much sense as a radio transmission from an alien civilization. He also never filed anything that he didn't absolutely positively do-it-or-else have to. Reever had conceded defeat the one time Komui deigned to prove that he indeed knew where everything was even in the mess. Komui merely did not sign and file paperwork with religious zeal because there were other things to spend his religious zeal on.
The most notable of those things was his constantly maintained and fervently updated List of Things That Will Ensure My Sister's Happiness. This was closely followed by the List of Things to Ensure the Well-Being of the People Under My Command. The last important list of note was his List of Really Awesome Komurin Ideas. He had extensive mental cross references between the three and also to all the other miscellaneous lists floating around in his gray matter. Sometimes it was hard to be a genius.
Right now he was humming a happy tune and drinking his coffee, slacking off on work, because he managed to cross of several things on those three lists in one fell swoop. Of course he had to have a serious (and private) conversation with Kanda-kun later about the whole life-energy transfer deal, but all in all, he managed to 1. ensured Linali will not suffer from sadness at losing one of her comrades, 2. ensured that several of his other exorcists wouldn't have to suffer from acute angst from losing one of their comrades/dying (too much angst, anyway. Komui was of the opinion that a little angst now and then never hurt anyone), and 3. test out the heat-seeking guided blowdarts on Komurin XXI.
But! Komui was not slothful, not one to rest on his laurels. Genius was to be shared with the rest of the world, of course, and now that he had the 'Phase 0' of his overall outline to achieve Linali's happiness completed, it was time for Phase 1.
"Er, boss," Reever said with an eyebrow twitch at Komui's wide, wide grin. "What are you thinking about? Or do I even want to know?"
Komui finished his coffee and picked up his pen, still grinning with unholy glee. "Reever, my good man, I need you to call in some exorcists for me."
**
"What. The. Hell. Is. This?"
Lavi blinked in surprise as he read one of the sheets on a shorter stack (shorter meaning that it was only stacked to shoulder-height instead of ceiling height). "Hey, wasn't this my report for the mission in Prague?"
Komui flipped on the lights. "Yessssssss!" He declared. "And Vienna, and London, and all those other places where you had missions for the first year of your time with us!"
Kanda developed a tic in his left eye as he surveyed the room.
It was about the size of a comfortably large bedroom, maybe a little bit bigger. With the exception of the 'L' shaped hallway that they were standing in and a small table and two folding chairs, the room was filled almost to the brim with papers. Most of the stacks reached the ceiling, while a half dozen or so rivaled Komui's height. The rest took up the remaining floorspace.
"..."
"It's so nostalgic!" Komui sighed, straightening a few sheets here and there. "Why, I remember when both of you were just wee lads-" he ignored their twin protest of 'We were sixteen!', "-and Lavi was just starting up with his exorcist duties. I swear some of the staff fainted at the sight of these mission reports!"
Indeed, the first time Komui saw one, he almost fainted himself - this was from a combination of the report being a stack three reams strong, sleep deprivation and the utter lack of desire to read it. At the time Lavi had looked sheepish and apologized for 'being too concise', where being 'too concise' was a domain that actually belonged to Kanda of the 2-sentence reports. Komui was overjoyed when he discovered putting them together on missions (and therefore, together on mission report writing) made for a small packet of five pages with every detail he would need.
Without preamble, Kanda smacked Lavi upside the head. "You IDIOT. You mean you ALWAYS wrote mission reports like you were trying to wipe out the world's paper supply!?"
"Ow! Hey, it's not my fault that Panda keeps saying, 'it's too short' to everything I wrote in my formative years!" Lavi protested, adjusting his skewed bandanna.
"Think of your target audience, dumbass!"
"Exactly!" Even Kanda took a step back at Komui's shouted agreement. "That is exactly it, Kanda-kun!" He lowered his voice and smiled. The light glinted off his glasses, hiding his eyes. "Since you two have some time, this is just the mission for you!" He gestured toward the room holding Lavi's mission reports. "Please rewrite these reports together," he said pleasantly, "since it seems like you two are utterly incapable of writing them individually."
Lavi cringed. "Does that mean we'll have to go through Yuu's mission reports later?"
Komui hummed. "That's a great idea! But get started on these first, please. Now, ta-ta!"
When he waltzed out of there, Kanda was still trying to beat the stupidity out of Lavi's brain. Komui judged this task of redoing the reports would take at least four days, if not a whole week, depending on how long Kanda planned to vent his frustrations before starting.
Plan: Ensure Linali's Happiness, Phase 1 a - in progress.
**
For Phase 1b of The Plan, Komui actually did some work. The Earl was defeated, but there were still Akuma wandering all over, and their task of cleaning up the remnants of these damned souls was perhaps less monumental than saving the world, but no less difficult. Komui still had to work hard at it! Or, to be more precise, he was working now by reading through the various Finders' reports that passed his desk in order to discern a. fact from fiction, and b. the best 'mission' to give to his most wonderful, dearly beloved, utterly perfect beautiful baby sister.
"Hmmm, possible Akuma infestation." He set that aside for Kanda or Allen later. "Mysterious artifact that may or may not have significant historical value." That was for Lavi and Bookman. "Akuma sighting near Vienna's concert hall." Marie, definitely. "Paris." That need to go to General Theodore's desk, though the High Generals would have to plan for the man to be AWOL for a few weeks as he went through and sketched every building in the city. "Aha! Possible Innocence fragment!"
Reever deserved several sainthoods and said so. "If you went ahead and decided the assignments already, why don't you ever write it down or something!?" He grumbled, scribbling on the various reports that had been tossed aside (after being sorted) by Komui.
"Reever, please call my dearest sister in for her mission, please."
**
And while the rest of Phase 1 was ongoing...
If one were to wander down into the deep bowels of the Archives of the Dark Order's Headquarters, one might catch snippets of interesting conversations echoing in the dark halls from undetermined sources.
"...Hey, I remember this! It was this really pretty Italian girl - I loved her accent, and she was..." a pregnant pause, "You know, stacked."
There was an equally pregnant pause followed by several muffled thumps, which may or may not have been one irate exorcist introducing his fist to the hard head of another exorcist. "What the heck does that have to do with the mission!?"
"Well, I can't leave out Dalila, 'cus she was the one that mentioned the strange sounds coming from the church, which meant we ended up investigating-"
"No. I meant, what the hell does her measurements, her extremely detailed physical description, her list of culinary accomplishments, and her life history have to do with the mission!?"
"..........it must be important somehow."
"LEAVE IT OUT!"
**
"I'll be back in a week then." Linali gave him a peck on the cheek, suitcase in hand. Looking at his eyes gushing tears like broken faucets, she smiled fondly. "Geez, brother, this is nothing to cry about."
Komui sniveled. "Are you sure you don't want to take Komurin XXI with you?" He wept while holding out the remote. "He cooks, cleans and will protect you from unwanted advances!" What Komui meant, of course, wasn't just 'unwanted' but ANY advances, real or imagined.
Thankfully, Linali knew exactly what he meant and diffused the situation with the ease of frequent practice. She patted him on the cheek and said, "I can take care of myself, brother. And besides, you said so yourself - it's a simple mission and there haven't been any reports of suspicious activity around the area. It'll be fine." She nodded to the Finder who would be accompanying her. "Good-bye, brother. I'm off."
Komui blew his nose and waved his handkerchief morosely. "Have a nice trip."
Plan: Ensure Linali's Happiness, Phase 1 b - in progress.
**
The preparation for Phase 2 of the Plan had actually been in progress for awhile - the last few weeks, to be precise. If one really studied the matter, the fact that it had been ongoing was really more of a fortuitous coincidence than anything else, but Komui figured his genius had to have had SOMETHING to do with it.
After all, he was the one assigning the missions, so therefore he must have been masterminding the plot, even unconsciously.
"Reever!" Komui held up his quill pen like a pointer. "Read me the missions roster!"
Reever heaved a long suffering sigh. "I don't get paid enough for this..." He muttered, digging out the missions folder from The Pit - aka Komui's desk. It was spectacularly messy today, with reams of papers filled with Komui's scribbles and notes. Most of it was formulas and shorthand notations on theories on...Allen's Innocence? Reever frowned at a sheet detailing every known ability of Crown Clown. "Boss, what's this?"
"Missions Roster!" Komui said impatiently.
Reever hefted the missions folder in his hands and 'dropped' it (at high velocity, ah, the wonders of potential energy) on Komui's head. It squished the beret and knocked the Head Officer's glasses askew. "Read it yourself!" Reever huffed, storming off while muttering things like 'pay raise' and 'mental health day' under his breath.
Komui righted his glasses, took his hat off, and opened the folder. With any luck, Reever will putter in the labs for the next couple of days (coming up with something to one-up him) or go and pass out for some much needed sleep (four days wasn't precisely a record, but REM is necessary for normal brain function).
He flipped through the pages until he reached the most recent missions, ending with the one he just gave to Linali. Komui shuffled forward, nodding and "hmm, yes"-ing to himself, skimming the contents. Just as he thought, he was a genius.
Komui stood up and closed the folder, gathering the stack of notes he had on Crown Clown. He would have to pick up some equipment, and Komurin needed to be recharged, but otherwise all was precisely as it should be.
"Ah. It's perfect." he said to himself before dancing out of his office.
Allen Walker won't know what hit him.
**
"...."
"What is it, Yuu?"
"From here," a shuffle, "To here. We're tossing it."
"What was..." shuffle, "Hey! This was my first impression of London!"
"Yes. Your first impression of London, and the three hundred people in the streets at the time!"
"I'll have you know it was three hundred and seventeen." A pause. "And twenty three dogs."
"DIE."
**
Allen Walker felt like a train had hit him.
"Oh dear~" Jerry said, eyebrows raising over his shades. "Allen, you look terrible!"
"Ahaha," Allen replied with a weak grin. He did not have the energy to list off his usual order so he just said, "May I have the B-set?"
"Just the -"
"Fifty orders, please."
"Ahhh, that's more like it," Jerry crooned. "Fifty orders of the B-set, coming up!"
It was the witching hour - meaning that the dining hall was mostly deserted. It was already a miracle that Jerry was even up to take and make his order, even though Allen had tried Lavi's room to see if the other exorcist wanted to make a late night food run. Bookman had answered the door (well, Bookman, several scrolls, five reams of paper, and various writing supplies had answered the door, but who was paying attention?) and said that Lavi was out for the foreseeable future on some mission internal to Headquarters. Allen's stomach had chosen then to remind him forcefully that parasite types needed to be well fed and watered every three hours when in high activity mode, and he gave up on finding a food-run partner in favor of placating the ravenous beast.
As a true testament to his exhaustion, once his order arrived he managed to only get through about half before he started nodding off in the salad. He NEVER fell asleep in his food, a product of both nature and nurture.
"Ugh...fifteen missions in three weeks is too much..." he mumbled, raising his head just enough to shovel more pasta into his mouth - chewing and swallowing did not require too much conscious thought, and if he fell asleep now he just might die of starvation before he could wake again.
With the defeat of the Earl, all that remained for the Dark Order was the exorcism of the surviving akuma. Alas, while that was an easy task for the level ones that haven't evolved - they made scenes as they went into their machine-forms in public, attempting to massacre enough people to make it to the next level - it was a difficult one for high level akuma. Some of the akuma retained reason and even their original intelligence. In those cases, they stayed low, killing only when needed and far away from where they hid amongst normal humans.
"I wish someone would invent an akuma radar..." Allen groaned. Being the only one who could see the akuma's soul meant that he was in high demand for missions that weren't clear cases of akuma activity. After all, any exorcist could be sent to put down rampaging akuma terrorizing a town...but most would fail to find any quarry if they were sent to a place only on rumor, if the akuma was smart enough to stay inconspicuous.
And because of that, Allen found himself going on mission after mission, chasing after possible akuma. Most of the time, he found them and released their souls. Other times, he didn't find a single trace. The constant travel (and lack of army-proportioned meals!) was really wearing on him. Running on fumes was getting to be a familiar state.
Briefly, Allen pondered asking for a vacation. Just as quickly, he discarded it. The Order needed him. The akuma needed him. It was his duty to do his job and do it well.
If anyone would choose to point out that he was starting to develop workaholic tendencies like Kanda, they probably would get clawed by Crown Clown. It was a good thing no one was there to point that out.
"Thanks for the food," he called out to Jerry after he finished his fifty orders of the B-set, feeling slightly better. Jerry gave him twenty sticks of mitarashi dango ("Saved just for you!") and that helped perk his spirits up even more.
Carrying his spoils of war (ok, mitarashi dango, but 'spoils of war' has a nice ring to it), Allen made his way up to one of the buttresses of their new Tower. It was a cool and clear night, with the stars shining brightly alongside a large moon. He chewed his dango thoughtfully, the crisp air further chasing away his drowsiness.
**
"...Lavi. This isn't a mission from your first year."
"Oh, hey. It's the mission to find and protect General Cross. Wow, this was back when we were all wandering around trying to meet up."
"What is this then?"
"Hmm, I guess it was that night when I got an update on what else was happening in the Order...Man, there were a lot of other missions going on at the same time, huh?"
"........Lavi." There was the sound of someone's last nerve snapping. Or it might have been Kanda sinking Mugen's extremely sharp tip into the table. "This is your report on other people's reports. This is your extremely detailed report on other people's reports, on top of your already epic recounting of every single thing that happened since Komui gave you the mission. There are two hundred pages of this junk."
"...ehehe...who knows? Maybe the details will be handy to someone else later?"
"I am going to shred this."
"Wait-Yuu! Don't use the Ichigen here!!"
**
Somewhere, deep in the bowels of Headquarters, a screen switched from 'standby' to 'operational'. Green light glinted off glasses as fingers flew over the control panel in a flurry of typing. Gears ground together, machinery whirred to life, and there was even an evil cackle to top it all off.
**
"I'm still walking, Mana," Allen whispered to the night sky. "I'll find all the akuma and save them, I promise." He didn't look back at his shadow, knowing that it would look perfectly normal to every eye but his own. The Spectre's gaze had lessened in intensity ever since the Earl was defeated, but it never left. He figured it would drive him for the rest of his life. "I don't know how long it'll take or what I'll do after...but I'll keep going."
He remembered seeing on the roster that Linali was off to a mission. Allen ducked his head.
"I asked her, Mana," he murmured. "She said she'll think about it. I'll ask her again when she gets back...as many times as it takes." The eyes were burning holes in his back. Allen shivered from the waves of malice radiating from behind him. Timidly, he peeked back - was Mana angry?
Instead of Mana, instead of the Spectre, Allen saw something else instead. Something that made him immediately start screaming like a little girl.
**
"Target located. Commencing retrieval mission." Komurin XXI intoned, making a grab for the white-haired exorcist that it had located on top of one of the overhanging balconies.
Allen yelled in shock at the sight of the twenty foot tall robot hovering RIGHT BEHIND HIM with one glowing red eye and leapt off the ledge instinctively. Crown Clown activated and Allen shot out the Clown Belt to snag a gargoyle on the way down to slow his fall. Suddenly, something obstructed the moonlight. He looked up to see Komurin dive-bombing toward him.
"Cease and desist." Komurin intoned. "Resistance is futile."
"Wh-what-WHAT'S GOING ON?!" Allen wailed as he threw up the cape, barely blocking several heat-guided blow-darts. He wasn't as fast as Linali or Kanda, but he was very acrobatic and as such, managed to avoid the darts he couldn't knock out of the sky as well as several grabs by Komurin's hands.
He landed on Komurin's head and bolted down the robot's back, where the tentacle hands had trouble reaching. He was almost to the door to the inside (and to relative safety) when Komurin buckled and the motion sent him flying into the air. Allen let out a rare curse when he felt something wrap around his ankle.
"Target captured." Komurin intoned right before Allen smacked out its eye with his sword. "Target -buzzt - captured. Cease and desist. I repeat - buzzt - cease and desist."
"Like hell." Allen muttered fervently, hacking at the arm holding his foot. He made a mental note to apologize to Kanda for helping Komurin catch him.
Something whizzed through the air and pricked him in the neck.
"Ohshi-zzzzzzzzzz........." And Allen was out like a light.
Komurin set the now sleeping exorcist into its chest cavity. Komui flashed his creation a thumb's up from his sniping position before hopping down onto Komurin's platform. He sauntered over and nudged Allen with his foot. "Alllllllennnnn-kunnn," he singsonged. "Are you fully unconscious?" Allen snored at him. "Ahhh, good. Snoring is good." Komui set his blowdarts away into their special case. "These were made for Kanda-kun, you know, and probably would kill a horse. I adjusted it just for you." Allen snored some more. Komui's glasses glinted. "Sleep well. I'll see you on the other side."
**
"...how many missions did you go on?"
"..hm. Twenty eight in the first six months or so, though you have to count in the one month we spent getting used to our new weapons."
"How many abridged mission reports are in that stack over there?"
"Twenty eight, but that's including the mission to find Cross."
"...."
"What? We're almost done, Yuu!"
"Explain, then. Why is half the room still half full?!"
"...it was my first mission and I got a little carried away?"
**
The other side was constructed from imperfect darkness. Allen blinked groggily as he slowly regained consciousness, eyes adjusting. His left eye remained dormant but his normal vision was eventually able to pick out the vague outline of a room that seemed faintly familiar.
Then, lights clicked on.
Allen yelped as the bright florescent lights seemed to stab straight into his skull, squeezing his eyes shut as tightly as he could. The highbeams seemed to be directly in his face, and he discovered that he was strapped down when he couldn't raise his hands to cover his eyes.
Innocence, activate! he thought frantically. Crown Clown remained silent, and the fingers of his left hand twitched feebly.
The shadow of a figure blocked out the edge of the blinding light, and Allen caught a glimpse of glinting glasses. There was a zapping noise, and then something started whirring. Allen’s eyes widened in horror as Komui came into view, holding a giant drill in one hand and the child of a science experiment and a torture implement in the other.
“Welcome back, Allen-kun.” Komui said pleasantly, his smile a wide crescent on his face. Allen wondered how he got himself thrown into the twilight zone. “Don’t try to fight your restraints, I’m sure you remember the sedative from the first time I worked on your Innocence.”
“Ko-ko-komui-san…” Allen stuttered. “W-what..”
“Don’t worry, Allen-kun,” Komui crooned. “I just have a few questions for you…and what your intentions are toward my darling sister.”
The drill drilled and the zapper zapped and Allen screamed.
**
Allen wasn’t sure how much time passed before the drill finally fell silent. Regardless, he was grateful beyond belief - he was completely worn down, about dead, and his stomach was torn between being hungry again and just plain nauseated. The ache in his left arm was bone-deep.
The zapper was placed on the ground, leaned against the operating table, and Allen wondered dimly whether the interrogation was finally over. He wasn’t sure why Komui wanted to know whether he knew everything about Linali - birthday, favorite foods, favorite colors, style of clothing, life history, measurements (his guesses were close enough that Komui had zapped him extra hard for being observant about her figure. Allen cried foul) and everything else. It wasn’t as if Komui didn’t know all those things already!
"And now, the last question..." Allen turned his head as Komui sat down beside him, pulling off his latex gloves and beret. From that angle, the surgery lights no longer glinted and obstructed the view of Komui's eyes. Allen blinked in surprise...Komui looked weary, uncharacteristically solemn.
"Komui-san...?"
Komui took off his glasses and started to absently clean them. After he was satisfied with what he can see through the lenses, he put them back. Finally, he whispered, "...can you love her as much as I do?"
Allen blinked, gray eyes searching the older man's face, but Komui's head was lowered. Finally, Allen shook his head. "I can't, Komui-san." Eye contact was established when Komui raised his head with a deadly glare. Allen caught it, held it. "I can't love her like you do because I'm not you. I'm me." Despite his tiredness, he smiled. "But I do love her, I love her as much as I'm capable of."
Komui held his gaze for a few more seconds before dropping his eyes. Allen waited, wondering if this was a dream, or some sort of elaborate Big Brother test. The Head Officer turned and searched around in his pockets for something, and Allen gulped loudly when a large syringe came out. Komui took the safety cap off and clear liquid came out from the needle when he pressed the plunger.
"Um, Komui-san, we can talk about this..." Allen babbled as the other man turned back, light once again glinting off his glasses in a way that was decidedly evil. "Komui-san~!" Allen wailed inwardly - he was too young to die! He hadn't even heard Linali's answer yet!
"Sleep well, Allen-kun." Komui said, slipping the needle into Allen's arm. When the white-haired exorcist's eyes slid closed, he gently laid a hand on the snowy head. "...it was a good answer." he murmured.
**
"...It's done."
"...it is."
"I am STARVING. No, wait. I need a shower, and sleep. And maybe 3 of Jerry's A-sets."
The two exorcists looked at the room: In the leftmost corner was a pile of shredded papers, portions of Lavi's old reports that met their unfortunate end with Mugen's First Illusion. On the table was a small stack of condensed mission reports. They knew for a fact that outside, there was a wheelbarrow for ferrying the rest of the old papers to the trash bins.
That was for later though. Right now Lavi felt torn between raiding the cafeteria (he wasn't sure if he could put away as much as Allen could on a bad day, but he was fairly willing to try) or just going to bed and sleeping for a week. Kanda didn't look much better, there were bags under his eyes and his glare lacked its usual edge. Whoever had been dropping off their food trays had neglected to bring Kanda any soba, and a Kanda without soba is a cranky Kanda indeed.
"Let's just get out of here for awhile," Lavi suggested, hoping that their timely exit would allow them to get out of working on Kanda's reports. If there was a task more monumental than reducing a roomful of papers to a single stack, it was producing a stack of papers from mission reports composed of two sentences each.
**
The sun rose slowly, painting the sky brilliant pinks and and golds and blues. Two slightly weary figures trudged down a hidden path toward the equally hidden Headquarters of the Dark Order, their mission completed successfully.
After the doorkeeper granted them entry, Linali Li smiled and waved as the Thomas, her Finder for the mission, bid her good-bye. She didn't even have to start the long trudge toward the elevators in order to reach her brother's office, because she could already hear the echoes of "Linaaaaaaaallllllliiiiiiiiiii!" bouncing off the inner walls of the Tower.
Her brother ran down the stairs two at a time, an irritated looking Reever behind him (making sure he doesn't escape after making a scene). Ten or so steps behind them were Lavi and Kanda, looking a strange mix of curious and beddraggled.
"Brother, I'm back." She said as he skidded to a stop in front of her.
"...Welcome back, Linali." He said, completing their ritual, even though something sounded odd in his voice. She gave him a questioning look but he only shook his head, and gave her a great big hug. She laughed and hugged him back.
And then, someone yelled her name from above, and she looked up.
**
Allen opened his eyes groggily when the sunlight made itself known behind his eyelids. He rubbed at them sleepily, and with a jot realized he was no longer strapped down. In fact, he was no longer on that operating table...the bed was soft, and the scent familiar. He was in his own room, still wearing his old clothes but with the vest taken off and the tie removed. The top few buttons were undone to make him more comfortable.
He sat up and gaped. His left hand, which had been aching and starting to flake yesterday from the non-stop missions, was back to normal. In fact, there was no pain at all and he flexed the fingers experimentally. They responded without a hint of the normal numbness.
"Eh?" Was everything that happened, with Komurin and Komui and the drill a dream??
Somewhere in the halls, there was the sound of a familiar voice calling out "Linaaaaaaaaliiiiiiii!" and Allen jumped, eyes instinctively going to the calendar on his wall. Today was the day that Linali came back! He scrambled out of bed, hurriedly pulling on his vest and sloppily draping the tie around his neck.
His room was on one of the middle levels, windows facing outward and door facing inward into the Tower center. He bent over the railing and looked down, and there she was. The sight of Komui hugging Linali made him remember something...the older man's almost approving words.
If...he had given a good answer...then...
"Linali!" he called down as loud as he could.
**
Linali looked up as her brother released her, hands still around her shoulders. Up...up...up, and there was Allen, almost hanging off the railing, hair in disarray and looking like he slept in his clothes for the past three days. He looked tired, but his smile was as brilliant as the sunlight through the stained glass roof haloing him.
She remembered telling him about her mission in the darkened side hallway, the week prior. He had smiled and wished her good luck...and asked her to marry him.
She had been so surprised that all she managed was a "I'll think about it."
Lavi and Kanda stopped beside her, also looking up, muttering puzzled, "moyashi?"s under their breath.
Allen beamed and balanced himself on the railing before cupping his hands in front of his mouth. "LINALI LI!" He hollered. "WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
"Ohmygod." Linali gasped, covering her mouth as everyone on early morning duty stopped dead in shock. Hands tightened on her shoulders and she glanced toward her brother, fully expecting him to whip out a remote control for a Komurin to murder Allen in one hundred gruesome ways.
Komui smiled, even though it was a bit shaky. She searched his face, found nothing that she thought she would find, and everything that she could wish for. He squeezed her shoulders, and then let go.
"Did he...?" Lavi muttered under his breath to Kanda.
"He did." Kanda muttered back.
Linali started laughing, throwing her head back to shout back to Allen, "YES, I WILL, ALLEN WALKER!"
Lavi whooped and Allen invocated so he could leap down. All the onlookers started wolf-whistling and clapping. Komui was like a statue but he was too mindful of his sister's feelings to start bawling...at least that's what Kanda thought his expression meant. Kanda briefly rubbed at his temples, all this yelling and Lavi continuing the racket by shouting, "The beansprout is getting married!" was giving him a headache.
Madness, he decided without much rancor. It was complete and utter madness, and Linali - who was usually the sane one - was just as insane this time. Despite of it, he found himself roped into agreeing to attend the wedding, which was better than what happened to Lavi (the redhead bowed to the combined power of the happy couple's broad smiles and was press-ganged into being the Best Man).
"Hey, you know what?!" Lavi exclaimed. "This means..." he paused dramatically, waiting for everyone to turn their eyes on him, "...we get to throw Allen a bachelor's party!"
"Oh, hell no." Allen and Kanda said at the same time, in horror. It was quite possibly the only time they've ever agreed on anything.
**End
Majo
And I dunno what I'm going to do today, cuz it feels like I've celebrated two days in a row already. :D
The Tale of Happily Ever Afters
Ch 2 aka:This is not the happy ending you signed up for.
**
All was not light and roses at the Dark Order (the word 'Dark' is in the name, how can it be all light?), but it was fairly close. The Head honcho of the outfit, one Komui Li, reclined in his supervisor's chair with a sense of a job well done.
Now, looking at Komui's office - wall to wall bookshelves jammed full of knowledge, papers and maps and diagrams on the walls, ceilings and floors, and, unknown to many, secret passageways hidden behind all the junk - one might think that the man was a tad disorganized. Just a little, tiny bit. If you happen to pick up a particularly aged mission report stuffed between the pages of a book on tropical birds with physics equations scribbled in the margins on your way to the couch reserved for exorcists receiving orders, you might revise that opinion up to extremely disorganized.
But the truth was Komui was really quite organized. What contributed to the general impression of chaos was the fact that all his lists were in his head and his sense of priorities made as much sense as a radio transmission from an alien civilization. He also never filed anything that he didn't absolutely positively do-it-or-else have to. Reever had conceded defeat the one time Komui deigned to prove that he indeed knew where everything was even in the mess. Komui merely did not sign and file paperwork with religious zeal because there were other things to spend his religious zeal on.
The most notable of those things was his constantly maintained and fervently updated List of Things That Will Ensure My Sister's Happiness. This was closely followed by the List of Things to Ensure the Well-Being of the People Under My Command. The last important list of note was his List of Really Awesome Komurin Ideas. He had extensive mental cross references between the three and also to all the other miscellaneous lists floating around in his gray matter. Sometimes it was hard to be a genius.
Right now he was humming a happy tune and drinking his coffee, slacking off on work, because he managed to cross of several things on those three lists in one fell swoop. Of course he had to have a serious (and private) conversation with Kanda-kun later about the whole life-energy transfer deal, but all in all, he managed to 1. ensured Linali will not suffer from sadness at losing one of her comrades, 2. ensured that several of his other exorcists wouldn't have to suffer from acute angst from losing one of their comrades/dying (too much angst, anyway. Komui was of the opinion that a little angst now and then never hurt anyone), and 3. test out the heat-seeking guided blowdarts on Komurin XXI.
But! Komui was not slothful, not one to rest on his laurels. Genius was to be shared with the rest of the world, of course, and now that he had the 'Phase 0' of his overall outline to achieve Linali's happiness completed, it was time for Phase 1.
"Er, boss," Reever said with an eyebrow twitch at Komui's wide, wide grin. "What are you thinking about? Or do I even want to know?"
Komui finished his coffee and picked up his pen, still grinning with unholy glee. "Reever, my good man, I need you to call in some exorcists for me."
**
"What. The. Hell. Is. This?"
Lavi blinked in surprise as he read one of the sheets on a shorter stack (shorter meaning that it was only stacked to shoulder-height instead of ceiling height). "Hey, wasn't this my report for the mission in Prague?"
Komui flipped on the lights. "Yessssssss!" He declared. "And Vienna, and London, and all those other places where you had missions for the first year of your time with us!"
Kanda developed a tic in his left eye as he surveyed the room.
It was about the size of a comfortably large bedroom, maybe a little bit bigger. With the exception of the 'L' shaped hallway that they were standing in and a small table and two folding chairs, the room was filled almost to the brim with papers. Most of the stacks reached the ceiling, while a half dozen or so rivaled Komui's height. The rest took up the remaining floorspace.
"..."
"It's so nostalgic!" Komui sighed, straightening a few sheets here and there. "Why, I remember when both of you were just wee lads-" he ignored their twin protest of 'We were sixteen!', "-and Lavi was just starting up with his exorcist duties. I swear some of the staff fainted at the sight of these mission reports!"
Indeed, the first time Komui saw one, he almost fainted himself - this was from a combination of the report being a stack three reams strong, sleep deprivation and the utter lack of desire to read it. At the time Lavi had looked sheepish and apologized for 'being too concise', where being 'too concise' was a domain that actually belonged to Kanda of the 2-sentence reports. Komui was overjoyed when he discovered putting them together on missions (and therefore, together on mission report writing) made for a small packet of five pages with every detail he would need.
Without preamble, Kanda smacked Lavi upside the head. "You IDIOT. You mean you ALWAYS wrote mission reports like you were trying to wipe out the world's paper supply!?"
"Ow! Hey, it's not my fault that Panda keeps saying, 'it's too short' to everything I wrote in my formative years!" Lavi protested, adjusting his skewed bandanna.
"Think of your target audience, dumbass!"
"Exactly!" Even Kanda took a step back at Komui's shouted agreement. "That is exactly it, Kanda-kun!" He lowered his voice and smiled. The light glinted off his glasses, hiding his eyes. "Since you two have some time, this is just the mission for you!" He gestured toward the room holding Lavi's mission reports. "Please rewrite these reports together," he said pleasantly, "since it seems like you two are utterly incapable of writing them individually."
Lavi cringed. "Does that mean we'll have to go through Yuu's mission reports later?"
Komui hummed. "That's a great idea! But get started on these first, please. Now, ta-ta!"
When he waltzed out of there, Kanda was still trying to beat the stupidity out of Lavi's brain. Komui judged this task of redoing the reports would take at least four days, if not a whole week, depending on how long Kanda planned to vent his frustrations before starting.
Plan: Ensure Linali's Happiness, Phase 1 a - in progress.
**
For Phase 1b of The Plan, Komui actually did some work. The Earl was defeated, but there were still Akuma wandering all over, and their task of cleaning up the remnants of these damned souls was perhaps less monumental than saving the world, but no less difficult. Komui still had to work hard at it! Or, to be more precise, he was working now by reading through the various Finders' reports that passed his desk in order to discern a. fact from fiction, and b. the best 'mission' to give to his most wonderful, dearly beloved, utterly perfect beautiful baby sister.
"Hmmm, possible Akuma infestation." He set that aside for Kanda or Allen later. "Mysterious artifact that may or may not have significant historical value." That was for Lavi and Bookman. "Akuma sighting near Vienna's concert hall." Marie, definitely. "Paris." That need to go to General Theodore's desk, though the High Generals would have to plan for the man to be AWOL for a few weeks as he went through and sketched every building in the city. "Aha! Possible Innocence fragment!"
Reever deserved several sainthoods and said so. "If you went ahead and decided the assignments already, why don't you ever write it down or something!?" He grumbled, scribbling on the various reports that had been tossed aside (after being sorted) by Komui.
"Reever, please call my dearest sister in for her mission, please."
**
And while the rest of Phase 1 was ongoing...
If one were to wander down into the deep bowels of the Archives of the Dark Order's Headquarters, one might catch snippets of interesting conversations echoing in the dark halls from undetermined sources.
"...Hey, I remember this! It was this really pretty Italian girl - I loved her accent, and she was..." a pregnant pause, "You know, stacked."
There was an equally pregnant pause followed by several muffled thumps, which may or may not have been one irate exorcist introducing his fist to the hard head of another exorcist. "What the heck does that have to do with the mission!?"
"Well, I can't leave out Dalila, 'cus she was the one that mentioned the strange sounds coming from the church, which meant we ended up investigating-"
"No. I meant, what the hell does her measurements, her extremely detailed physical description, her list of culinary accomplishments, and her life history have to do with the mission!?"
"..........it must be important somehow."
"LEAVE IT OUT!"
**
"I'll be back in a week then." Linali gave him a peck on the cheek, suitcase in hand. Looking at his eyes gushing tears like broken faucets, she smiled fondly. "Geez, brother, this is nothing to cry about."
Komui sniveled. "Are you sure you don't want to take Komurin XXI with you?" He wept while holding out the remote. "He cooks, cleans and will protect you from unwanted advances!" What Komui meant, of course, wasn't just 'unwanted' but ANY advances, real or imagined.
Thankfully, Linali knew exactly what he meant and diffused the situation with the ease of frequent practice. She patted him on the cheek and said, "I can take care of myself, brother. And besides, you said so yourself - it's a simple mission and there haven't been any reports of suspicious activity around the area. It'll be fine." She nodded to the Finder who would be accompanying her. "Good-bye, brother. I'm off."
Komui blew his nose and waved his handkerchief morosely. "Have a nice trip."
Plan: Ensure Linali's Happiness, Phase 1 b - in progress.
**
The preparation for Phase 2 of the Plan had actually been in progress for awhile - the last few weeks, to be precise. If one really studied the matter, the fact that it had been ongoing was really more of a fortuitous coincidence than anything else, but Komui figured his genius had to have had SOMETHING to do with it.
After all, he was the one assigning the missions, so therefore he must have been masterminding the plot, even unconsciously.
"Reever!" Komui held up his quill pen like a pointer. "Read me the missions roster!"
Reever heaved a long suffering sigh. "I don't get paid enough for this..." He muttered, digging out the missions folder from The Pit - aka Komui's desk. It was spectacularly messy today, with reams of papers filled with Komui's scribbles and notes. Most of it was formulas and shorthand notations on theories on...Allen's Innocence? Reever frowned at a sheet detailing every known ability of Crown Clown. "Boss, what's this?"
"Missions Roster!" Komui said impatiently.
Reever hefted the missions folder in his hands and 'dropped' it (at high velocity, ah, the wonders of potential energy) on Komui's head. It squished the beret and knocked the Head Officer's glasses askew. "Read it yourself!" Reever huffed, storming off while muttering things like 'pay raise' and 'mental health day' under his breath.
Komui righted his glasses, took his hat off, and opened the folder. With any luck, Reever will putter in the labs for the next couple of days (coming up with something to one-up him) or go and pass out for some much needed sleep (four days wasn't precisely a record, but REM is necessary for normal brain function).
He flipped through the pages until he reached the most recent missions, ending with the one he just gave to Linali. Komui shuffled forward, nodding and "hmm, yes"-ing to himself, skimming the contents. Just as he thought, he was a genius.
Komui stood up and closed the folder, gathering the stack of notes he had on Crown Clown. He would have to pick up some equipment, and Komurin needed to be recharged, but otherwise all was precisely as it should be.
"Ah. It's perfect." he said to himself before dancing out of his office.
Allen Walker won't know what hit him.
**
"...."
"What is it, Yuu?"
"From here," a shuffle, "To here. We're tossing it."
"What was..." shuffle, "Hey! This was my first impression of London!"
"Yes. Your first impression of London, and the three hundred people in the streets at the time!"
"I'll have you know it was three hundred and seventeen." A pause. "And twenty three dogs."
"DIE."
**
Allen Walker felt like a train had hit him.
"Oh dear~" Jerry said, eyebrows raising over his shades. "Allen, you look terrible!"
"Ahaha," Allen replied with a weak grin. He did not have the energy to list off his usual order so he just said, "May I have the B-set?"
"Just the -"
"Fifty orders, please."
"Ahhh, that's more like it," Jerry crooned. "Fifty orders of the B-set, coming up!"
It was the witching hour - meaning that the dining hall was mostly deserted. It was already a miracle that Jerry was even up to take and make his order, even though Allen had tried Lavi's room to see if the other exorcist wanted to make a late night food run. Bookman had answered the door (well, Bookman, several scrolls, five reams of paper, and various writing supplies had answered the door, but who was paying attention?) and said that Lavi was out for the foreseeable future on some mission internal to Headquarters. Allen's stomach had chosen then to remind him forcefully that parasite types needed to be well fed and watered every three hours when in high activity mode, and he gave up on finding a food-run partner in favor of placating the ravenous beast.
As a true testament to his exhaustion, once his order arrived he managed to only get through about half before he started nodding off in the salad. He NEVER fell asleep in his food, a product of both nature and nurture.
"Ugh...fifteen missions in three weeks is too much..." he mumbled, raising his head just enough to shovel more pasta into his mouth - chewing and swallowing did not require too much conscious thought, and if he fell asleep now he just might die of starvation before he could wake again.
With the defeat of the Earl, all that remained for the Dark Order was the exorcism of the surviving akuma. Alas, while that was an easy task for the level ones that haven't evolved - they made scenes as they went into their machine-forms in public, attempting to massacre enough people to make it to the next level - it was a difficult one for high level akuma. Some of the akuma retained reason and even their original intelligence. In those cases, they stayed low, killing only when needed and far away from where they hid amongst normal humans.
"I wish someone would invent an akuma radar..." Allen groaned. Being the only one who could see the akuma's soul meant that he was in high demand for missions that weren't clear cases of akuma activity. After all, any exorcist could be sent to put down rampaging akuma terrorizing a town...but most would fail to find any quarry if they were sent to a place only on rumor, if the akuma was smart enough to stay inconspicuous.
And because of that, Allen found himself going on mission after mission, chasing after possible akuma. Most of the time, he found them and released their souls. Other times, he didn't find a single trace. The constant travel (and lack of army-proportioned meals!) was really wearing on him. Running on fumes was getting to be a familiar state.
Briefly, Allen pondered asking for a vacation. Just as quickly, he discarded it. The Order needed him. The akuma needed him. It was his duty to do his job and do it well.
If anyone would choose to point out that he was starting to develop workaholic tendencies like Kanda, they probably would get clawed by Crown Clown. It was a good thing no one was there to point that out.
"Thanks for the food," he called out to Jerry after he finished his fifty orders of the B-set, feeling slightly better. Jerry gave him twenty sticks of mitarashi dango ("Saved just for you!") and that helped perk his spirits up even more.
Carrying his spoils of war (ok, mitarashi dango, but 'spoils of war' has a nice ring to it), Allen made his way up to one of the buttresses of their new Tower. It was a cool and clear night, with the stars shining brightly alongside a large moon. He chewed his dango thoughtfully, the crisp air further chasing away his drowsiness.
**
"...Lavi. This isn't a mission from your first year."
"Oh, hey. It's the mission to find and protect General Cross. Wow, this was back when we were all wandering around trying to meet up."
"What is this then?"
"Hmm, I guess it was that night when I got an update on what else was happening in the Order...Man, there were a lot of other missions going on at the same time, huh?"
"........Lavi." There was the sound of someone's last nerve snapping. Or it might have been Kanda sinking Mugen's extremely sharp tip into the table. "This is your report on other people's reports. This is your extremely detailed report on other people's reports, on top of your already epic recounting of every single thing that happened since Komui gave you the mission. There are two hundred pages of this junk."
"...ehehe...who knows? Maybe the details will be handy to someone else later?"
"I am going to shred this."
"Wait-Yuu! Don't use the Ichigen here!!"
**
Somewhere, deep in the bowels of Headquarters, a screen switched from 'standby' to 'operational'. Green light glinted off glasses as fingers flew over the control panel in a flurry of typing. Gears ground together, machinery whirred to life, and there was even an evil cackle to top it all off.
**
"I'm still walking, Mana," Allen whispered to the night sky. "I'll find all the akuma and save them, I promise." He didn't look back at his shadow, knowing that it would look perfectly normal to every eye but his own. The Spectre's gaze had lessened in intensity ever since the Earl was defeated, but it never left. He figured it would drive him for the rest of his life. "I don't know how long it'll take or what I'll do after...but I'll keep going."
He remembered seeing on the roster that Linali was off to a mission. Allen ducked his head.
"I asked her, Mana," he murmured. "She said she'll think about it. I'll ask her again when she gets back...as many times as it takes." The eyes were burning holes in his back. Allen shivered from the waves of malice radiating from behind him. Timidly, he peeked back - was Mana angry?
Instead of Mana, instead of the Spectre, Allen saw something else instead. Something that made him immediately start screaming like a little girl.
**
"Target located. Commencing retrieval mission." Komurin XXI intoned, making a grab for the white-haired exorcist that it had located on top of one of the overhanging balconies.
Allen yelled in shock at the sight of the twenty foot tall robot hovering RIGHT BEHIND HIM with one glowing red eye and leapt off the ledge instinctively. Crown Clown activated and Allen shot out the Clown Belt to snag a gargoyle on the way down to slow his fall. Suddenly, something obstructed the moonlight. He looked up to see Komurin dive-bombing toward him.
"Cease and desist." Komurin intoned. "Resistance is futile."
"Wh-what-WHAT'S GOING ON?!" Allen wailed as he threw up the cape, barely blocking several heat-guided blow-darts. He wasn't as fast as Linali or Kanda, but he was very acrobatic and as such, managed to avoid the darts he couldn't knock out of the sky as well as several grabs by Komurin's hands.
He landed on Komurin's head and bolted down the robot's back, where the tentacle hands had trouble reaching. He was almost to the door to the inside (and to relative safety) when Komurin buckled and the motion sent him flying into the air. Allen let out a rare curse when he felt something wrap around his ankle.
"Target captured." Komurin intoned right before Allen smacked out its eye with his sword. "Target -buzzt - captured. Cease and desist. I repeat - buzzt - cease and desist."
"Like hell." Allen muttered fervently, hacking at the arm holding his foot. He made a mental note to apologize to Kanda for helping Komurin catch him.
Something whizzed through the air and pricked him in the neck.
"Ohshi-zzzzzzzzzz........." And Allen was out like a light.
Komurin set the now sleeping exorcist into its chest cavity. Komui flashed his creation a thumb's up from his sniping position before hopping down onto Komurin's platform. He sauntered over and nudged Allen with his foot. "Alllllllennnnn-kunnn," he singsonged. "Are you fully unconscious?" Allen snored at him. "Ahhh, good. Snoring is good." Komui set his blowdarts away into their special case. "These were made for Kanda-kun, you know, and probably would kill a horse. I adjusted it just for you." Allen snored some more. Komui's glasses glinted. "Sleep well. I'll see you on the other side."
**
"...how many missions did you go on?"
"..hm. Twenty eight in the first six months or so, though you have to count in the one month we spent getting used to our new weapons."
"How many abridged mission reports are in that stack over there?"
"Twenty eight, but that's including the mission to find Cross."
"...."
"What? We're almost done, Yuu!"
"Explain, then. Why is half the room still half full?!"
"...it was my first mission and I got a little carried away?"
**
The other side was constructed from imperfect darkness. Allen blinked groggily as he slowly regained consciousness, eyes adjusting. His left eye remained dormant but his normal vision was eventually able to pick out the vague outline of a room that seemed faintly familiar.
Then, lights clicked on.
Allen yelped as the bright florescent lights seemed to stab straight into his skull, squeezing his eyes shut as tightly as he could. The highbeams seemed to be directly in his face, and he discovered that he was strapped down when he couldn't raise his hands to cover his eyes.
Innocence, activate! he thought frantically. Crown Clown remained silent, and the fingers of his left hand twitched feebly.
The shadow of a figure blocked out the edge of the blinding light, and Allen caught a glimpse of glinting glasses. There was a zapping noise, and then something started whirring. Allen’s eyes widened in horror as Komui came into view, holding a giant drill in one hand and the child of a science experiment and a torture implement in the other.
“Welcome back, Allen-kun.” Komui said pleasantly, his smile a wide crescent on his face. Allen wondered how he got himself thrown into the twilight zone. “Don’t try to fight your restraints, I’m sure you remember the sedative from the first time I worked on your Innocence.”
“Ko-ko-komui-san…” Allen stuttered. “W-what..”
“Don’t worry, Allen-kun,” Komui crooned. “I just have a few questions for you…and what your intentions are toward my darling sister.”
The drill drilled and the zapper zapped and Allen screamed.
**
Allen wasn’t sure how much time passed before the drill finally fell silent. Regardless, he was grateful beyond belief - he was completely worn down, about dead, and his stomach was torn between being hungry again and just plain nauseated. The ache in his left arm was bone-deep.
The zapper was placed on the ground, leaned against the operating table, and Allen wondered dimly whether the interrogation was finally over. He wasn’t sure why Komui wanted to know whether he knew everything about Linali - birthday, favorite foods, favorite colors, style of clothing, life history, measurements (his guesses were close enough that Komui had zapped him extra hard for being observant about her figure. Allen cried foul) and everything else. It wasn’t as if Komui didn’t know all those things already!
"And now, the last question..." Allen turned his head as Komui sat down beside him, pulling off his latex gloves and beret. From that angle, the surgery lights no longer glinted and obstructed the view of Komui's eyes. Allen blinked in surprise...Komui looked weary, uncharacteristically solemn.
"Komui-san...?"
Komui took off his glasses and started to absently clean them. After he was satisfied with what he can see through the lenses, he put them back. Finally, he whispered, "...can you love her as much as I do?"
Allen blinked, gray eyes searching the older man's face, but Komui's head was lowered. Finally, Allen shook his head. "I can't, Komui-san." Eye contact was established when Komui raised his head with a deadly glare. Allen caught it, held it. "I can't love her like you do because I'm not you. I'm me." Despite his tiredness, he smiled. "But I do love her, I love her as much as I'm capable of."
Komui held his gaze for a few more seconds before dropping his eyes. Allen waited, wondering if this was a dream, or some sort of elaborate Big Brother test. The Head Officer turned and searched around in his pockets for something, and Allen gulped loudly when a large syringe came out. Komui took the safety cap off and clear liquid came out from the needle when he pressed the plunger.
"Um, Komui-san, we can talk about this..." Allen babbled as the other man turned back, light once again glinting off his glasses in a way that was decidedly evil. "Komui-san~!" Allen wailed inwardly - he was too young to die! He hadn't even heard Linali's answer yet!
"Sleep well, Allen-kun." Komui said, slipping the needle into Allen's arm. When the white-haired exorcist's eyes slid closed, he gently laid a hand on the snowy head. "...it was a good answer." he murmured.
**
"...It's done."
"...it is."
"I am STARVING. No, wait. I need a shower, and sleep. And maybe 3 of Jerry's A-sets."
The two exorcists looked at the room: In the leftmost corner was a pile of shredded papers, portions of Lavi's old reports that met their unfortunate end with Mugen's First Illusion. On the table was a small stack of condensed mission reports. They knew for a fact that outside, there was a wheelbarrow for ferrying the rest of the old papers to the trash bins.
That was for later though. Right now Lavi felt torn between raiding the cafeteria (he wasn't sure if he could put away as much as Allen could on a bad day, but he was fairly willing to try) or just going to bed and sleeping for a week. Kanda didn't look much better, there were bags under his eyes and his glare lacked its usual edge. Whoever had been dropping off their food trays had neglected to bring Kanda any soba, and a Kanda without soba is a cranky Kanda indeed.
"Let's just get out of here for awhile," Lavi suggested, hoping that their timely exit would allow them to get out of working on Kanda's reports. If there was a task more monumental than reducing a roomful of papers to a single stack, it was producing a stack of papers from mission reports composed of two sentences each.
**
The sun rose slowly, painting the sky brilliant pinks and and golds and blues. Two slightly weary figures trudged down a hidden path toward the equally hidden Headquarters of the Dark Order, their mission completed successfully.
After the doorkeeper granted them entry, Linali Li smiled and waved as the Thomas, her Finder for the mission, bid her good-bye. She didn't even have to start the long trudge toward the elevators in order to reach her brother's office, because she could already hear the echoes of "Linaaaaaaaallllllliiiiiiiiiii!" bouncing off the inner walls of the Tower.
Her brother ran down the stairs two at a time, an irritated looking Reever behind him (making sure he doesn't escape after making a scene). Ten or so steps behind them were Lavi and Kanda, looking a strange mix of curious and beddraggled.
"Brother, I'm back." She said as he skidded to a stop in front of her.
"...Welcome back, Linali." He said, completing their ritual, even though something sounded odd in his voice. She gave him a questioning look but he only shook his head, and gave her a great big hug. She laughed and hugged him back.
And then, someone yelled her name from above, and she looked up.
**
Allen opened his eyes groggily when the sunlight made itself known behind his eyelids. He rubbed at them sleepily, and with a jot realized he was no longer strapped down. In fact, he was no longer on that operating table...the bed was soft, and the scent familiar. He was in his own room, still wearing his old clothes but with the vest taken off and the tie removed. The top few buttons were undone to make him more comfortable.
He sat up and gaped. His left hand, which had been aching and starting to flake yesterday from the non-stop missions, was back to normal. In fact, there was no pain at all and he flexed the fingers experimentally. They responded without a hint of the normal numbness.
"Eh?" Was everything that happened, with Komurin and Komui and the drill a dream??
Somewhere in the halls, there was the sound of a familiar voice calling out "Linaaaaaaaaliiiiiiii!" and Allen jumped, eyes instinctively going to the calendar on his wall. Today was the day that Linali came back! He scrambled out of bed, hurriedly pulling on his vest and sloppily draping the tie around his neck.
His room was on one of the middle levels, windows facing outward and door facing inward into the Tower center. He bent over the railing and looked down, and there she was. The sight of Komui hugging Linali made him remember something...the older man's almost approving words.
If...he had given a good answer...then...
"Linali!" he called down as loud as he could.
**
Linali looked up as her brother released her, hands still around her shoulders. Up...up...up, and there was Allen, almost hanging off the railing, hair in disarray and looking like he slept in his clothes for the past three days. He looked tired, but his smile was as brilliant as the sunlight through the stained glass roof haloing him.
She remembered telling him about her mission in the darkened side hallway, the week prior. He had smiled and wished her good luck...and asked her to marry him.
She had been so surprised that all she managed was a "I'll think about it."
Lavi and Kanda stopped beside her, also looking up, muttering puzzled, "moyashi?"s under their breath.
Allen beamed and balanced himself on the railing before cupping his hands in front of his mouth. "LINALI LI!" He hollered. "WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
"Ohmygod." Linali gasped, covering her mouth as everyone on early morning duty stopped dead in shock. Hands tightened on her shoulders and she glanced toward her brother, fully expecting him to whip out a remote control for a Komurin to murder Allen in one hundred gruesome ways.
Komui smiled, even though it was a bit shaky. She searched his face, found nothing that she thought she would find, and everything that she could wish for. He squeezed her shoulders, and then let go.
"Did he...?" Lavi muttered under his breath to Kanda.
"He did." Kanda muttered back.
Linali started laughing, throwing her head back to shout back to Allen, "YES, I WILL, ALLEN WALKER!"
Lavi whooped and Allen invocated so he could leap down. All the onlookers started wolf-whistling and clapping. Komui was like a statue but he was too mindful of his sister's feelings to start bawling...at least that's what Kanda thought his expression meant. Kanda briefly rubbed at his temples, all this yelling and Lavi continuing the racket by shouting, "The beansprout is getting married!" was giving him a headache.
Madness, he decided without much rancor. It was complete and utter madness, and Linali - who was usually the sane one - was just as insane this time. Despite of it, he found himself roped into agreeing to attend the wedding, which was better than what happened to Lavi (the redhead bowed to the combined power of the happy couple's broad smiles and was press-ganged into being the Best Man).
"Hey, you know what?!" Lavi exclaimed. "This means..." he paused dramatically, waiting for everyone to turn their eyes on him, "...we get to throw Allen a bachelor's party!"
"Oh, hell no." Allen and Kanda said at the same time, in horror. It was quite possibly the only time they've ever agreed on anything.
**End
Majo