...disassembled...
... it's mind boggling that everything you once had, everything you loved, and everything you lived for... can be gone just like that. The past few days have been the worst days of my life.... and im serious. November 30, 2004 at 2:43AM is the moment my life here has ended. It was quite a run, I'll tell ya. I have a ton of memories with the greatest people I'll ever know and love. I won't forget a single one of you.... not a one. Everyone I've ever met here has been a part of me ever since I spoke to them... and always will be. I love every single one of you who are reading this now! No matter what I ever said to you. Tomorrow I'm calling my father and speaking to him about moving in with him in Texas. Now, it's not etched in stone, but it's a 95% chance I'm going. It seems as though I've lost everything.... all of my closest realationships, just about. Tomorrow I may lose another close friend...
My Check card was missing from my wallet sunday afternoon. I had lost it AGAIN! I was so pissed. The last thing I purchased was gas at a WaWa near my house. I went in monday to get a bank statement to see if someone actually stole it. They gave me a list of withdraws and deposits... and the last one was a withdraw of $202 at 5:50PM at the Burlington Center.... I was at work at that time. It had to of been someone really close to me. They told me that they were going to pull the video tape from the ATM and I'll get to identify the person who used it. After some thinking, I might know who took it. I'm going to give them the benifit of the doubt until I know for a fact that it's them. But until then, I won't believe it. If it is this person....... there goes another person out of my life.........
Everything was so great at one time! The nights at Kenny's were so great, but our Saturday nights are non existant now! I had a slew of friends! There were movie nights, after hour dinners at Holly Brook, clubbing at Shampoo during Goth/80's Night, late night phone calls till 6:OOAM..... i miss all of that. Now it's gone...... and I can only blame myself. I truely am sorry for everything that has happend.... I hope everyone realizes that..... I hope that when and if I do leave, that you'll try to keep at least one good memory of me. Whether it be watching gay men have sex from a popular HBO series ONLY because you asked me to, taking you to see Eddie Izzard on your B-day, letting you pick out my goth clothes for shampoo and loving you for it, imatating your laugh becuase it's absolutley hilarious, or buying you your hampster because you weren't old enough to buy it yourslef...... just one of those would work....
You know, to top it off..... one of my best friends in the whole world, Stacey, has stopped speaking to me for reasons unknown. I know that shes been wanting me to call her my best friend for some time... but I never did because I was so angry for all the hurt shes caused me all those years.... thats not what best friends do.... but when I look at it, she was always there for me.... in my worst situations. She was always there to call when I was down. She helped me pass Calculius and helped me in my Physics class. She bought me food and let me borrow $150 to pay for bills, which she'll def be getting back very soon. I don't care what anyone says about her. Shes always been my best friend....
I've seen livejournal rip people apart.... and I've become a victim. This is my last entry I'll ever put up. Livejournal isn't a place to vent for me anymore..... its a place to cause trouble.... end friendships..... and destroy the closest things to you.... It's caused more problems for me than helped. I wish everyone the best of luck! Tomorrow will be a defining day.... i really hope I can salvage something, or more importantly, someone from all this mess. Goodbye everyone! :-)
P.S. Don't bother commenting. I've disabled it as well as being e-mailed comments. I'd like it to be left on that note. thanks...
My Check card was missing from my wallet sunday afternoon. I had lost it AGAIN! I was so pissed. The last thing I purchased was gas at a WaWa near my house. I went in monday to get a bank statement to see if someone actually stole it. They gave me a list of withdraws and deposits... and the last one was a withdraw of $202 at 5:50PM at the Burlington Center.... I was at work at that time. It had to of been someone really close to me. They told me that they were going to pull the video tape from the ATM and I'll get to identify the person who used it. After some thinking, I might know who took it. I'm going to give them the benifit of the doubt until I know for a fact that it's them. But until then, I won't believe it. If it is this person....... there goes another person out of my life.........
Everything was so great at one time! The nights at Kenny's were so great, but our Saturday nights are non existant now! I had a slew of friends! There were movie nights, after hour dinners at Holly Brook, clubbing at Shampoo during Goth/80's Night, late night phone calls till 6:OOAM..... i miss all of that. Now it's gone...... and I can only blame myself. I truely am sorry for everything that has happend.... I hope everyone realizes that..... I hope that when and if I do leave, that you'll try to keep at least one good memory of me. Whether it be watching gay men have sex from a popular HBO series ONLY because you asked me to, taking you to see Eddie Izzard on your B-day, letting you pick out my goth clothes for shampoo and loving you for it, imatating your laugh becuase it's absolutley hilarious, or buying you your hampster because you weren't old enough to buy it yourslef...... just one of those would work....
You know, to top it off..... one of my best friends in the whole world, Stacey, has stopped speaking to me for reasons unknown. I know that shes been wanting me to call her my best friend for some time... but I never did because I was so angry for all the hurt shes caused me all those years.... thats not what best friends do.... but when I look at it, she was always there for me.... in my worst situations. She was always there to call when I was down. She helped me pass Calculius and helped me in my Physics class. She bought me food and let me borrow $150 to pay for bills, which she'll def be getting back very soon. I don't care what anyone says about her. Shes always been my best friend....
I've seen livejournal rip people apart.... and I've become a victim. This is my last entry I'll ever put up. Livejournal isn't a place to vent for me anymore..... its a place to cause trouble.... end friendships..... and destroy the closest things to you.... It's caused more problems for me than helped. I wish everyone the best of luck! Tomorrow will be a defining day.... i really hope I can salvage something, or more importantly, someone from all this mess. Goodbye everyone! :-)
P.S. Don't bother commenting. I've disabled it as well as being e-mailed comments. I'd like it to be left on that note. thanks...