a weird problem
sigh...... ok here's my thing..... i have two guys vying for my affection and i should be flattered but i find myself annoyed and frustrated and even depressed because i feel that neither of them know me completely and i dont think they will due to the fact that they really dont want to each of them knows a side of me and they both are possesive of me which means they look out for me but also means that they want the other to dissapear off the planet. also i think even with all their pretty words they only want me for one reason which they will deny and try to prove to me and themselves. I'm not saying they dont care i know that they do in ther own ways i just believe that they dont know that i'm not right. heh sad things too i'm insanely jealous of beth....not because it's john but because she has found someone who loves her completely and they are so happy that it's obvious that they are ment for each other. i want that i want someone who will know me completely..... but i'm not even sure that i let them. I do take some resposibility i tend to push people out before they get too close.....fear of commitment.......fear of what they may find........ i'm not exactly perfect....... and not exactly easy to get along with. heh i think i just rebuked my own point. it is pretty late though..... well we will just have to see what happens in the mean time i just hope that twidledee and twidle dum dont kill each other...... i dont have that many black clothes. sad they are more alike than they know in fact it's scary..... onkly a few things set them apart...... hey busker take me with you...... just leave me beside the boat and i'll see you off..you know i could always find me a hot sailor dude........... j/k........should probably get to sleep.