(no subject)
i just sucessfully burned my last remaining bridge and can never go back. i didnt realise exacly what i did till after i had already done it and now i can never go back. the love of my life hates me and rightfully so. i just hope that he will heal better than i will. so afraid of the future and what it might hold. now i'm made sure that my worst fear was truely realised. i make stupid rash decisions and look where they left me. my own fault i take full resposibility. i'm a lying cheating whore and admit to it. i kissed another guy and ken forgave me than i had the nerve to develope feelings for him. so there goes strike two. so if i end up crazy cat lady then it's no less than i deserve. dont comfort me i dont deserve it. comfort ken he's the real victum here. he should have never got stuck with a heartless bitch like me in the first place. I apologise for that and for everything that i have done. but my words are useless and mean nothing so i guess that isnt saying much. so much for my life i just hope kens and who ever is reading this is better. also if you hate me also because of this that that's fine i wont try and fight it or try and convince you otherwise because i'm already hipocritical enough as it is. if i can help it i wont be here long so everything to follow is meaningless. goodnight and good luck to everyone out there. dont be like me and fuck up a good thing because i dont want any company where i'm headed to.