Rambles while I should be studying
Finally figured out what I’m gonna do in life, more or less. Just gotta talk to a career counselor to see how I can achieve it. Kinda dreading that tho, hahaha. Just watch them say, “it’s too late” or something like that. I shouldn’t psych myself out.
I hate thinking up options for for the future because it makes me realize how little options I have. Hate how family/family friends think that going to grad school is the answer to everything. I already told my dad that my grades are shit, so I probably can’t get into grad school, nor do I have the drive to atm.
I admire people who have a set plan on what they’re going to do in life (such as go to grad school, med school, etc), but I’m not like that. I’m one of those who my parents describe as “don’t jump until their feet touches the water”, or don’t do anything until the very last minute. Does it stress me out? Yes. Does it make me not want to think about it and distract myself with other stuff? Yes. But at the end of the day I smack myself in the face and say “get over it and figure your life out”.
I realize now that it is more or less ok to be unsure of the future, just gotta keep chugging along and hope everything will work out in the end. It’s ok to take things slowly, and most importantly, it’s ok to voice your insecurities to your peers. I used to try to sound confident and bluff my way through when people ask me what my plans are, but lately I’ve just been like, “honestly, I have no idea, and it’s freaking me the fuck out”, and that’s when I usually get the best advice, hahaha…
Gotta say, I met amazing people in my major this year, just wish I had met them earlier. Nothing like spending 6hrs/wk in lab together with Salmonella/E. coli that brings people together, hahaha!
I also met assholes this quarter, but let’s save that for another time…