(no subject)
::cough:: Been kind of a long day, I suppose. Was dreading work up until the minute I left, but as it turns out, it was pretty much the only thing that kept me sane throughout the day. Pretty much occupied all of my mind, so there wasn't much to spare on my life as it exists now. ::sigh:: And what a life it's become. I break everything. I sleep among plaster and my heart is now just another hole in my wall. Yesterday, the girl emptied her drawer, took back her heart, and walked out of our 'home.' It's pretty cold now, and this nausea has yet to surrender itself. Been bleeding tears inside because I couldn't help how things are, just as I haven't been able to for the past few months. It's been a long time since I've related to these feelings...those that can't be given up except through time. Time during which I'll be replaying many a moment in my head, noticing various little details that I can endlessly relate to what was...the song playing on the radio on my drive home; mentions of certain movies or places; random things here and there, consequences of who we were. Who we no longer are. And how I'm here and she's there and we're no longer together. How, by the looks of things, that won't change anytime soon. How feeble and fragile and stubborn and foolish and and fucking lonely I am and how I'll most likely remain that way for a loooong time coming. I'm not even sure how my heart is still strong enough to handle all this. Perhaps it isn't..