long since due
So it's time for an update, no?? I've been leaving a lot of you in the dark about the many various events of my recent life, and I need to rectify that. (If you've talked to me recently, it's probably not necessary to read this)
If you don't already know, the weekend Alejo was fun but interesting. I got a phone call from his not-so-ex girlfriend on Sunday (morning)afternoon. I think that explains itself. That very night I ran into Yannis, another interesting experience. I decided it was all for the best. It was a good experience, but yet again I am left here unattached. Bummer. It's been such a long time since I was attatched to someone. Grant? Well yes, but I wasn't attatched to who he really was, I was attatched to who he presented: who I wanted him to be. Even though my situation with Mr. Kohl didn't quite work out, it was real and it made me believe in love and it didn't jade me. So many experiences since then have made me forget how optimistic and hopeful I once was for love - that pure love that is so exponential that is felt by both parties.... hopefully I'll get that back someday.
So, my mother convinced me to join Match.com. I've met some interesting people, have some dates for when I get back to Miami. And the funny thing is, I found Mr. Kohl on it yesterday. HA! So I winked at him. Our profiles match perfectly, too. Wrong time, wrong place...
As far as Graham is concerned, the intensive is over. The last three weeks have been spent with Joyce, Linda Hodes, and PEGGY LYMAN. Pretty amazing, it's been pretty damn amazing. Yesterday I had a performance workshop with Janet Eilber, and today I'm feeling the stomache-upset of post-nervousness. Crazy. Company class tomorrow. When did I get here? When?
Last weekend at this time I was in Woodstock with Elaine, Michael, Manny, Annette, and Lilly. It was amazing. I'm so lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life. (But where is he? Do I even believe that he exists?)
My thinking about love has been brought up again because I read the most AMAZING book ever, The Time Traveler's wife... a 550 page book, mind you.... in 4 days. It was beautiful. This book reminded me of a more adult version of the slightly science fiction fantasy life love books I enjoyed and lived in so much in highschool. I forgot that feeling. And I was bawling for 2 hours when I finished it, and have been slightly upset about it all week, despite the amazing things going around me in this life. It reminded me that there is so much more than sex - what I've been thinking about primarily lately when it comes to men, and I really do want to wait for love. It's so much better that way. But it's getting harder and harder to hold on. And am I even open to love? I am so cautious and untrusting.
If you don't already know, the weekend Alejo was fun but interesting. I got a phone call from his not-so-ex girlfriend on Sunday (morning)afternoon. I think that explains itself. That very night I ran into Yannis, another interesting experience. I decided it was all for the best. It was a good experience, but yet again I am left here unattached. Bummer. It's been such a long time since I was attatched to someone. Grant? Well yes, but I wasn't attatched to who he really was, I was attatched to who he presented: who I wanted him to be. Even though my situation with Mr. Kohl didn't quite work out, it was real and it made me believe in love and it didn't jade me. So many experiences since then have made me forget how optimistic and hopeful I once was for love - that pure love that is so exponential that is felt by both parties.... hopefully I'll get that back someday.
So, my mother convinced me to join Match.com. I've met some interesting people, have some dates for when I get back to Miami. And the funny thing is, I found Mr. Kohl on it yesterday. HA! So I winked at him. Our profiles match perfectly, too. Wrong time, wrong place...
As far as Graham is concerned, the intensive is over. The last three weeks have been spent with Joyce, Linda Hodes, and PEGGY LYMAN. Pretty amazing, it's been pretty damn amazing. Yesterday I had a performance workshop with Janet Eilber, and today I'm feeling the stomache-upset of post-nervousness. Crazy. Company class tomorrow. When did I get here? When?
Last weekend at this time I was in Woodstock with Elaine, Michael, Manny, Annette, and Lilly. It was amazing. I'm so lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life. (But where is he? Do I even believe that he exists?)
My thinking about love has been brought up again because I read the most AMAZING book ever, The Time Traveler's wife... a 550 page book, mind you.... in 4 days. It was beautiful. This book reminded me of a more adult version of the slightly science fiction fantasy life love books I enjoyed and lived in so much in highschool. I forgot that feeling. And I was bawling for 2 hours when I finished it, and have been slightly upset about it all week, despite the amazing things going around me in this life. It reminded me that there is so much more than sex - what I've been thinking about primarily lately when it comes to men, and I really do want to wait for love. It's so much better that way. But it's getting harder and harder to hold on. And am I even open to love? I am so cautious and untrusting.