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May 04, 2007 11:17

aaaaaaah, life.

It's funny being in the midwest, and being back in Buffalo for a few days; there are things I miss about Florida. Who knew that it would grow on me? There is more color there. The sky is bright blue - not this hazy pale blue that the sky is in buffalo - but a bright clear blue with a bright glowing sun. Even when it rains, the clouds are more of a white than a gray.
I didn't even want to leave at the end of the semester. I wanted to go see Sarah, but I was concerned also. I was happy with the way the semester turned out, and I wanted to bask in my accomplishments. All of a sudden I was the person I'd envied all along. I was the person with the huge scholarship increase and the invitation to take company classes with a major company. (GRAHAM!)... one of my DREAM companies.
Visiting Sarah was crazy. I loved her windmill and her fair trade coffee and rGBH free milk at the Grill. I felt like I fit right into her little nook of friends, and a part of me felt like I could easily have been going to school there and living with her all along. Of course, it's probably good that I didn't because Sarah needed to make her own social gains apart from the group of people she grew up with. Last year it was hard to step back and watch her change but I'm so happy that she's found a place that I think is perfect for her. She's influenced me so much in my life that I could have been happy there too, even if it wouldn't be my perfect school. I need more of her in my life. Our lives grow apart, but also together. I'm glad that I went to visit her also because it reminded me that going back to academia wouldn't be such a hard transition. It also really affirmed for me how much harder it's been having done college the way I have, and how much more that's prepared me for my nomadic artistic life. A campus is so safe, it's so protected. If you choose a campus life and a school you have the opportunity to choose the type of people you're surrounded by. It's more than just not having to grocery shop or cook or clean. Your life is centered and protected, and if you choose a school right you can choose to be surrounded by your dream group of people. I think that's why so many people say that college was the best 4 years of their lives.
Buffalo has been good. I've been doing pretty much absolutely nothing, which has been wonderful. These days I feel like I need to spend all the time I can with my family and my dogs, what with everyone around me dropping dead with cancer. I went to visit Marianne, and she looks good for now except that she's lost a lot of weight and was in a lot of pain from the chemo. I want to go visit other people, but I can't bring myself to leave the house because I feel the days are numbered, and I'm not here very long. I've been playing with the dogs a lot, and catching up on sleep.
Also, I need to visit Chicago. I feel like it is maybe the perfect combination of midwest cool and big city busy. I feel like that might be a good place to raise a family.
2 more days and then back to the grind. I'm just considering this my spring break.
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