10/27/10
For reasons I wouldn't understand until later, allowing this guy to hang out in my car seemed like the most natural course. He brushed all my cds off the back seats and laid down without bothering to look for a seatbelt. I didn't bother telling him to belt in, though, I felt something coming that was more important.
In the hour it took to drive to class I spoke to him about my life. I couldn't stop myself, everything was just being pulled out of me as if by some natural force. I told him about the breakup, about how beautiful she'd been and how I'd apparently failed her. I told him that nobody cared about me anymore, how none of my friends had even seemed to hear me when I told them about the breakup. I even told him about how my family had missed my birthday six days before, and done nothing about it since.
The whole time he just nodded politely and acted as though it was completely normal to get into a stranger's car and have him dump the inside of his mind all over you.
I was finishing telling him about my current class and the problems with it, when I arrived at the class in question. He volunteered to attend with me and "pick (me) up some choice tail" in order to "cure (my) bitch problems." I declined and offered to loan him a buck for some coffee. He took the dollar and then made himself comfortable on the seat.
The whole encounter seemed to evaporate three steps into the classroom and I found myself resting comfortably into the non-entity I usually am in a crowded room. I took my seat and began an ambitious attempt to become completely invisible.
From the corner of my eye I noticed a sweater break off from a small crowd at the front of the class and make a deliberate trip across the room to sit in the chair next to mine. A direct inspection confirmed my suspicion that the sweater was occupied by a quietly smirking blonde I'd been sitting next to most days. Or, rather, she'd been sitting next to me. I'd noticed her the first time we'd been forced into a group project. She had been wearing a christmas patterned sweater in the first week of october and I remember being surprised at her comfortable ease with sarcasm. We'd talked above the heads of the kids in the class, fresh from high school and overflowing with intense genuine hope that seemed to make the both of us choke.
It was a friendship forged in necessity that seemed to help us pass through the interminable days stuck in a "career" class required by the college.
Our relationship, though enduring 5 days a week for the better part of the semester seemed to have come under some strain recently, and I was finding myself more and more uncomfortable with our friendship.
In the hour it took to drive to class I spoke to him about my life. I couldn't stop myself, everything was just being pulled out of me as if by some natural force. I told him about the breakup, about how beautiful she'd been and how I'd apparently failed her. I told him that nobody cared about me anymore, how none of my friends had even seemed to hear me when I told them about the breakup. I even told him about how my family had missed my birthday six days before, and done nothing about it since.
The whole time he just nodded politely and acted as though it was completely normal to get into a stranger's car and have him dump the inside of his mind all over you.
I was finishing telling him about my current class and the problems with it, when I arrived at the class in question. He volunteered to attend with me and "pick (me) up some choice tail" in order to "cure (my) bitch problems." I declined and offered to loan him a buck for some coffee. He took the dollar and then made himself comfortable on the seat.
The whole encounter seemed to evaporate three steps into the classroom and I found myself resting comfortably into the non-entity I usually am in a crowded room. I took my seat and began an ambitious attempt to become completely invisible.
From the corner of my eye I noticed a sweater break off from a small crowd at the front of the class and make a deliberate trip across the room to sit in the chair next to mine. A direct inspection confirmed my suspicion that the sweater was occupied by a quietly smirking blonde I'd been sitting next to most days. Or, rather, she'd been sitting next to me. I'd noticed her the first time we'd been forced into a group project. She had been wearing a christmas patterned sweater in the first week of october and I remember being surprised at her comfortable ease with sarcasm. We'd talked above the heads of the kids in the class, fresh from high school and overflowing with intense genuine hope that seemed to make the both of us choke.
It was a friendship forged in necessity that seemed to help us pass through the interminable days stuck in a "career" class required by the college.
Our relationship, though enduring 5 days a week for the better part of the semester seemed to have come under some strain recently, and I was finding myself more and more uncomfortable with our friendship.