my day was weird.
I arrived at work two hours early and was greeted by my boss, a 40-something frizzy-haired probably once-cheerleader who must be perpetually on uppers, zipping around the preschool hallways on rollerskates. She was also wearing a neon pink spandex miniskirt. "It's Teacher Appreciation week!" she chirped at me. "Today's theme is Flashback Monday. Teachers who dress in theme get candy all this week!" I looked down at myself. I was dressed all in black. My hair was wet and probably sticking out on one side. I snuffled, trying to hide my lingering cold. "Oh, and I made lunch for everyone. There's a vegetarian option too!"
At noon, she came rolling down the hallway, pulling a red Ryder wagon, still on those damn skates. "Lunch!" I glanced at the fare. "It's tatertot casserole!" she announced. "With and without meat." I told her I'd pass, but I took a snickerdoodle. I know what those are, and they don't sound like something concocted for a recipe-themed secret santa potluck hosted by a trailerpark. Wednesday, the only other day I'm working this week, is "Western." Like hell I'm showing up in a cowboy hat.
Willem (age barely two) had an allergic reaction to the garden, and spralwed on the beanbag chair in our classroom half-sobbing and plucking at his throat. The assistant boss didn't seem too concerned, even though Miss Murphy and I were like "he's not breathing normally..." We gave him a bit of cookie and he was fine.
Nathan fell asleep in the middle of lunch with his head on the table.
At lunchtime, Miss Murphy started yelling at Colby (age two) because he had eggs in his lunch. Turns out, she "has an extreme egg phobia." It was so weird and hilarious that I'm documenting it in a comic strip.
At one point, I was in a room with eight babies, half of whom were crying inconsolably because I was an unfamiliar person.
Lucy, who is four and knows how adorable she is, made me a gift of a tattered piece of paper with four pink and purple stars scribbled on it. I kept it. It's on my windowsill in my bedroom.
Things I was awarded due to it being Teacher Appreciation Week: a shitty hot pink dollar-store pen that says "chatterbox" on it, a record-shaped air freshner thingy that smells like fresh cherry cough syrup and which I buried in my rubbish bin, and a rubber bouncy thingy that is supposed to flip itself inside out and as a bonus terrifies my dogs.
Today, on skype with my brother, my parents were trying to decide what to do on the way back from picking him up from college. Mom suggested San Francisco. "San Francisco is the shit!" I shouted from the kitchen. My mom obligingly repeated it so my brother could hear it: "Maisha says San Francisco is the shits." No, Mom.