drunk is me
so what to talk about???
girlfriend (nikki) gonna be here in a few hours, YAY!
iv hurt one of my closest friends. confession is i was out of meds for a few weeks, since i was in portland till mid september. nfortunately i act rather impulsively and without thought when im without. so heres a public appology to u kenz. if u still think the post i made were about u go into my history and check the entries during this same time period since iv had a journal and ul see all the post are rather close to each other. check my thoartist too just incase u think its all bs. truth is u ignoring me and looking at me like a psycho sent me over the edge, and i turned into a psycho, well kinda. theres nothing i can do/say to make it up to u, but i do love ya, and consider u one of my greatest frineds, even if u dont want to talk to me anymore, which ill admit i slightly deserve. if u wanna kno what got under my skin its simple. dont kno why but i always took a little offence to u never drawing me in ur sketch when u were drawing all ur friends. i guess i just thought u would consider me a good enough friend for u to depict in ur sketches, stupid i kno, but still it mattered to me. truth is i love nikki and u the same. bt i kno nikki loves me back in a way i can never understand. i still want u as a friend, its better than this absence we have now. i kno there can be nothing betweeen us, and im kool with that, i really am. i never really wanted there to be anyways. i belong to niiki, and dont ever want to change that for the world. i would die for both of u, but will never kill myself over u. hope u can see my side and forgive me, but i understand if u dont. but realise i will never stop trying to make things right with us. u never made me feel useless untill u ignored me. thats a feeling that strikes me worse then my visions and voices combined. nikki is the one that i love, and shes loves me back. i never want to disrupt that. she means more to me than even i understand. otherwise i wouldnt last this long distance thing. i feel her every time i go to bed, and when i wake. i want to give her all of me, even the parts i hide, the parts i hate. she is my life, nothing less, and a whole lot more. the poems i posted were simple love sonnets. nothing more, never meant to hurt, im sorry if they did. nikki is my goddess, ur just my dream. i kno the difference. and nothing will ever come between that. she is my all,
girlfriend (nikki) gonna be here in a few hours, YAY!
iv hurt one of my closest friends. confession is i was out of meds for a few weeks, since i was in portland till mid september. nfortunately i act rather impulsively and without thought when im without. so heres a public appology to u kenz. if u still think the post i made were about u go into my history and check the entries during this same time period since iv had a journal and ul see all the post are rather close to each other. check my thoartist too just incase u think its all bs. truth is u ignoring me and looking at me like a psycho sent me over the edge, and i turned into a psycho, well kinda. theres nothing i can do/say to make it up to u, but i do love ya, and consider u one of my greatest frineds, even if u dont want to talk to me anymore, which ill admit i slightly deserve. if u wanna kno what got under my skin its simple. dont kno why but i always took a little offence to u never drawing me in ur sketch when u were drawing all ur friends. i guess i just thought u would consider me a good enough friend for u to depict in ur sketches, stupid i kno, but still it mattered to me. truth is i love nikki and u the same. bt i kno nikki loves me back in a way i can never understand. i still want u as a friend, its better than this absence we have now. i kno there can be nothing betweeen us, and im kool with that, i really am. i never really wanted there to be anyways. i belong to niiki, and dont ever want to change that for the world. i would die for both of u, but will never kill myself over u. hope u can see my side and forgive me, but i understand if u dont. but realise i will never stop trying to make things right with us. u never made me feel useless untill u ignored me. thats a feeling that strikes me worse then my visions and voices combined. nikki is the one that i love, and shes loves me back. i never want to disrupt that. she means more to me than even i understand. otherwise i wouldnt last this long distance thing. i feel her every time i go to bed, and when i wake. i want to give her all of me, even the parts i hide, the parts i hate. she is my life, nothing less, and a whole lot more. the poems i posted were simple love sonnets. nothing more, never meant to hurt, im sorry if they did. nikki is my goddess, ur just my dream. i kno the difference. and nothing will ever come between that. she is my all,