So here we are...
In less than three days I will be on my way to Texas.
Just leaving everything else behind me... except for my cat.. and plants.. and my fish... and a few boxes.
Anyway, I'm tired.
I'm tired of complaining, and feeling inadequate. And trying So. Damn. Hard. to become something more than I am now, and only failing at it.
Drawing and Art are the only things I'm honest to God good at.
Frankly there's no chance of me finding myself here.
Wisconsin is quaint and can be lovely at times, I'll miss the calm and balanced moments that I spent with my friends and my father; Even some less frequent times I spent with other people.
And there are equally as many things that I will not miss... ever. So many things that tore at my psyche, and left me reeling in place. I'm tired of dealing with people who only put me down and biting my tongue so hard it nearly bleeds, just to keep out of yet another argument where it's always my fault and I'm never right. It sort of burns away the idea of hope, to looking forward to the good things.
It's a risk, but I'm going to do it.
I wish that every word I write becomes poetry, but I cannot express just how much everyone here means to me, in real life and online. I want so badly for others to be proud of me and to feel proud of myself.
I feel that a new start is in order.
So I am going to move south, I'm still going to be online and I will keep in touch with everyone. Once I am better situated I'll come back and visit. And for those of you who only know me via the net.. I doubt much else will change between us. :)
And don't ever worry: I plan on doing art until the day I die.
Just leaving everything else behind me... except for my cat.. and plants.. and my fish... and a few boxes.
Anyway, I'm tired.
I'm tired of complaining, and feeling inadequate. And trying So. Damn. Hard. to become something more than I am now, and only failing at it.
Drawing and Art are the only things I'm honest to God good at.
Frankly there's no chance of me finding myself here.
Wisconsin is quaint and can be lovely at times, I'll miss the calm and balanced moments that I spent with my friends and my father; Even some less frequent times I spent with other people.
And there are equally as many things that I will not miss... ever. So many things that tore at my psyche, and left me reeling in place. I'm tired of dealing with people who only put me down and biting my tongue so hard it nearly bleeds, just to keep out of yet another argument where it's always my fault and I'm never right. It sort of burns away the idea of hope, to looking forward to the good things.
It's a risk, but I'm going to do it.
I wish that every word I write becomes poetry, but I cannot express just how much everyone here means to me, in real life and online. I want so badly for others to be proud of me and to feel proud of myself.
I feel that a new start is in order.
So I am going to move south, I'm still going to be online and I will keep in touch with everyone. Once I am better situated I'll come back and visit. And for those of you who only know me via the net.. I doubt much else will change between us. :)
And don't ever worry: I plan on doing art until the day I die.