In Which I Expound upon the Concept of Time as Commodity
. . . and thereby having value in a system of free enterprise.
All things being equal-and they are not-a person could be excused for thinking that a service industry might be compelled to make choices for the benefit of its patrons, as the good in which that industry trades is, strangely, service. And air travel is, in fact, such an industry.
Why, then, are the various airlines and airports that make up this vast network of hops and hubs allowed and even encouraged by government agencies to treat customers alternately as cattle and as criminals? And why, then, does this seemingly complex but mathematically conceivable system of transportation* never work properly?
*Incidentally, the same principle of outrage applies to the MTA, which is still one of the highest functioning mass transit networks in the country if not the world, but it only costs two dollars to take the subway, so you get what you pay for there.
And now my point comes to an illustration. Two, in fact, as I have in the past week flown out of and in to JFK International, which is among the worst offenders in matters of scheduling, and which was in fine form on these two occasions.
The first was a 12:40 flight that, around 12:45, suddenly and abruptly became a 2:00 flight when it was revealed that the "one crew member" we had been waiting for was actually nowhere near the airport at all. He was on another plane that had been delayed an hour and a half out of Atlanta. It may be supposed that this domino effect, of which my flight was bearing only the initial brunt, rippled outward infinitely that day, and all because flights are scheduled without contingency plans for delays at other airports-such as, say, a substitute first officer, without whom no plane may take off.
The second (and more outrageous) was a 3:00 flight that took off on time, only to be held over the coast of Virginia due to high volume in New York.
Now, I have flown along the eastern seaboard many times at this time of day, and the high volume is always due to incoming transatlantic flights, which are given priority in the landing queue. This makes sense, to some extent, as planes crossing an ocean must have used much more fuel and be in much greater need of safe haven.
However, it also begs the question: Why schedule so many domestic flights during a time of day when high-priority flights are arriving in droves-every single day? True, the resultant delays for domestics are usually incurred on the runway in the form of late takeoffs, but every now and then (or perhaps more often, as is likely), the following happens . . .
A flight departs on time for a scheduled two-hour jaunt up the eastern seaboard. Somewhere along the way, the pilot receives notification from air traffic control in New York that the plane must circle wherever it is, because there are too many planes overhead at JFK. Circling commences. An hour later, within sight of the airport and only a quarter of an hour late, the landing queue is still so long that it is impossible to be cleared before the plane runs out of gas.
This leads to a ten-minute diversion to Atlantic City, followed by a forty-five-minute wait for the fuel truck, refueling, and eventual taxiing back to the runway, where the pilot must be cleared for takeoff AND given an estimated place in the still-crowded queue at JFK. All told, this cute little exercise of poor planning and worse problem-solving results in a two-hour delay in arriving at the final destination.
During the whole ordeal, of course: screaming babies, dry recycled air, weird smells, droning engines, uncomfortable seats, snippy stewardesses, and the tiniest bottles of water imaginable. I don't think it's so much to expect that a hundred dollars could buy a person a safe, timely passage on a repurposed puddle-jumper.
All things being equal-and they are not-a person could be excused for thinking that a service industry might be compelled to make choices for the benefit of its patrons, as the good in which that industry trades is, strangely, service. And air travel is, in fact, such an industry.
Why, then, are the various airlines and airports that make up this vast network of hops and hubs allowed and even encouraged by government agencies to treat customers alternately as cattle and as criminals? And why, then, does this seemingly complex but mathematically conceivable system of transportation* never work properly?
*Incidentally, the same principle of outrage applies to the MTA, which is still one of the highest functioning mass transit networks in the country if not the world, but it only costs two dollars to take the subway, so you get what you pay for there.
And now my point comes to an illustration. Two, in fact, as I have in the past week flown out of and in to JFK International, which is among the worst offenders in matters of scheduling, and which was in fine form on these two occasions.
The first was a 12:40 flight that, around 12:45, suddenly and abruptly became a 2:00 flight when it was revealed that the "one crew member" we had been waiting for was actually nowhere near the airport at all. He was on another plane that had been delayed an hour and a half out of Atlanta. It may be supposed that this domino effect, of which my flight was bearing only the initial brunt, rippled outward infinitely that day, and all because flights are scheduled without contingency plans for delays at other airports-such as, say, a substitute first officer, without whom no plane may take off.
The second (and more outrageous) was a 3:00 flight that took off on time, only to be held over the coast of Virginia due to high volume in New York.
Now, I have flown along the eastern seaboard many times at this time of day, and the high volume is always due to incoming transatlantic flights, which are given priority in the landing queue. This makes sense, to some extent, as planes crossing an ocean must have used much more fuel and be in much greater need of safe haven.
However, it also begs the question: Why schedule so many domestic flights during a time of day when high-priority flights are arriving in droves-every single day? True, the resultant delays for domestics are usually incurred on the runway in the form of late takeoffs, but every now and then (or perhaps more often, as is likely), the following happens . . .
A flight departs on time for a scheduled two-hour jaunt up the eastern seaboard. Somewhere along the way, the pilot receives notification from air traffic control in New York that the plane must circle wherever it is, because there are too many planes overhead at JFK. Circling commences. An hour later, within sight of the airport and only a quarter of an hour late, the landing queue is still so long that it is impossible to be cleared before the plane runs out of gas.
This leads to a ten-minute diversion to Atlantic City, followed by a forty-five-minute wait for the fuel truck, refueling, and eventual taxiing back to the runway, where the pilot must be cleared for takeoff AND given an estimated place in the still-crowded queue at JFK. All told, this cute little exercise of poor planning and worse problem-solving results in a two-hour delay in arriving at the final destination.
During the whole ordeal, of course: screaming babies, dry recycled air, weird smells, droning engines, uncomfortable seats, snippy stewardesses, and the tiniest bottles of water imaginable. I don't think it's so much to expect that a hundred dollars could buy a person a safe, timely passage on a repurposed puddle-jumper.