i guess you just cant have two good things at once in your life?

[maidenonwheels]

im pretty shooken up by this whole thing i mean yes i know that i live through this shit and its prolly gonna take a while but i mean thinkng of alll the memories with such a good friend a friend that youve stuck by since the beggining its just real hard to think that he hates me and that we can never really be as good as friends i just wish we could
i didnt mean for this all to happpen i mean what do u do when u have strong feelings for someone and not on purpose but the person is your friends ex? i really dont know

i mean i think about it what i got out of this whole thing in a way was worth it but i just think what would have happened if we hadnt shared our feelings? and what if she went through with what she was going to >? would she be more happy?

i just want everyone to be happy i told heath last night i said just do me a favor tell kristen courtney and amanda im gonna miss them and he said what are you talking about i put out my hand for a shake and said im doing this for you
is that not a good friend?
am i a bad friend?
i just dont want to see heath fuck up thats why ive stuck with him
hes my best friend and hell always be i would say im going to stop trying to be his friend but i dont think he wants me around
i just want him to be good and to find a good friend someone maybe better than me someone who would stick by him like i did and will help him thats all i ask for i guess
and just for him to i guess be happy if this makes him happy im down for it
ill be fine over time i guess

all i can say is man im gonna miss u