Cafe de Liefde
(Cafe Love)
Is a dutch show about love and relationships that focuses on showing what types of relationships there are and the reality of normal loves too. So you get the heartbreakingly sweet elderly couples who are still in love. Which I feel is underexposed in today's transient love society.
Different people express all kinds of views about their relationships. One girl had a sexbuddy and just started seeing another guy. It's not normal to date several people at once here but in many cases monogamy does have to be addressed, like when you get into a serious relationship.
In this case the girl wasn't sleeping with the new guy yet so she asked him what he thought about her going to her sexbuddy. He was the type of guy who didn't separate love from sex so he didn't like it. She felt this was a kind of dilemma because she felt that "Fabulous sex without love was as special as a relationship in which you love eachother". So basically she didn't want to ditch the fuckbuddy to pursue a serious relationship with potential.
That makes me wonder how awful she thinks the sex is going to be with the guy she is falling in love with. Now I can totally understand that uncomplicated sex is fun, no worries about feelings and they don't see eachother enough for it to be dull, so that keeps the sex exiting. But seriously, having sex with the person you love doesn't mean it has to lack excitement surely. And loving eachother brings extra goodies to the sex so how can you ever think your male vibrator is as "special"?
There was also a very valid bit about when people just get together and they are in love the sex will be fun. And because they kind of loose their rational brain they forget to talk about what they like in bed. So after a while when the hormones retreat they may find they have very different desires and they end up having a sex problem. Being GGG will help but (as we read so often) if you are both subs (or insert anything else) there is not much you can do.
Which is why it's so important to be totally open and not assume just because it still feels good now that it will not be an issue later on. (and yes I do get that you don't know everything you will ever be into)
In an interesting interview with a journalist who had spend years with the polygamous Masai in Afrika it became clear that while the men do marry several women the women themselves decide who they sleep with or have sex with. They can invite a guy into their hut, their husband doesn't have a hut. If a guy is invited he puts his spear next to the entrance of the hut and no one else goes in, not even the husband of the woman.
The journalist himself had several relationships with Masai women, in essence also being polygamous or polyamorous there. He shared that if you are invited by a woman to sleep with her it's also just to sleep, if the plan is sex you are invited for that. If a guy would go into a hut without being invited he'd get lynched. Which may be a bit of an overstatement but the the women do have power there the man and woman do have to have a love relationship for the hut visits.
Interestingly enough among those Masai when they found their true love they were monogamous and the journalist himself when he was back home also found a woman with whom he is monogamous. Because she is everything to him he doesn't have the urge to seek out any other women. More men testified to that and I don't think they are lying, the premise of the show and the culture here is about honesty. Which makes the whole show so good, surprising things people say and share and it's unsensationalised style.
Sex within relationships could also show some depressing stuff. Like men who don't care they have very little sex, sex is overrated he said. How happy he was with his wife and kids was nice but really a guy without a sexdrive, yikes.
Which brings me to the notion of what they called "cool sex" aka the opposite of hot sex. They are talking about tantric sex which I always assumed was another form of hot sex....just slow and meditative like. A way to breed extra intimacy and get great multiple full body orgasms and the like.
Instead there was a description of intercourse when the guy is flaccid. The women even explained putting the man's soft penis inside them after retracting the foreskin and how they hardly felt it. Then they would lay back and see what happens, the guy may get hard he may not, you may experience an energy flow.
Which is all well and good for the "cold" people and all that but jeez, how devoid of passion. Plus do those women have a cavernous vagina? Even flaccid a penis would still be bigger than a finger, how can you not feel that? And what type of guy would still be flaccid when he is going into the woman he is attracted to? Why would you want to do that for hours three times a day as they described?
Gimme teh hot sex please. *nodnod* Hell even on my own I create a lot of heat, might have abraded myself a bit today though, but that doesn't make me want to apply a cool flaccid penis thanks.
~Iflie
Is a dutch show about love and relationships that focuses on showing what types of relationships there are and the reality of normal loves too. So you get the heartbreakingly sweet elderly couples who are still in love. Which I feel is underexposed in today's transient love society.
Different people express all kinds of views about their relationships. One girl had a sexbuddy and just started seeing another guy. It's not normal to date several people at once here but in many cases monogamy does have to be addressed, like when you get into a serious relationship.
In this case the girl wasn't sleeping with the new guy yet so she asked him what he thought about her going to her sexbuddy. He was the type of guy who didn't separate love from sex so he didn't like it. She felt this was a kind of dilemma because she felt that "Fabulous sex without love was as special as a relationship in which you love eachother". So basically she didn't want to ditch the fuckbuddy to pursue a serious relationship with potential.
That makes me wonder how awful she thinks the sex is going to be with the guy she is falling in love with. Now I can totally understand that uncomplicated sex is fun, no worries about feelings and they don't see eachother enough for it to be dull, so that keeps the sex exiting. But seriously, having sex with the person you love doesn't mean it has to lack excitement surely. And loving eachother brings extra goodies to the sex so how can you ever think your male vibrator is as "special"?
There was also a very valid bit about when people just get together and they are in love the sex will be fun. And because they kind of loose their rational brain they forget to talk about what they like in bed. So after a while when the hormones retreat they may find they have very different desires and they end up having a sex problem. Being GGG will help but (as we read so often) if you are both subs (or insert anything else) there is not much you can do.
Which is why it's so important to be totally open and not assume just because it still feels good now that it will not be an issue later on. (and yes I do get that you don't know everything you will ever be into)
In an interesting interview with a journalist who had spend years with the polygamous Masai in Afrika it became clear that while the men do marry several women the women themselves decide who they sleep with or have sex with. They can invite a guy into their hut, their husband doesn't have a hut. If a guy is invited he puts his spear next to the entrance of the hut and no one else goes in, not even the husband of the woman.
The journalist himself had several relationships with Masai women, in essence also being polygamous or polyamorous there. He shared that if you are invited by a woman to sleep with her it's also just to sleep, if the plan is sex you are invited for that. If a guy would go into a hut without being invited he'd get lynched. Which may be a bit of an overstatement but the the women do have power there the man and woman do have to have a love relationship for the hut visits.
Interestingly enough among those Masai when they found their true love they were monogamous and the journalist himself when he was back home also found a woman with whom he is monogamous. Because she is everything to him he doesn't have the urge to seek out any other women. More men testified to that and I don't think they are lying, the premise of the show and the culture here is about honesty. Which makes the whole show so good, surprising things people say and share and it's unsensationalised style.
Sex within relationships could also show some depressing stuff. Like men who don't care they have very little sex, sex is overrated he said. How happy he was with his wife and kids was nice but really a guy without a sexdrive, yikes.
Which brings me to the notion of what they called "cool sex" aka the opposite of hot sex. They are talking about tantric sex which I always assumed was another form of hot sex....just slow and meditative like. A way to breed extra intimacy and get great multiple full body orgasms and the like.
Instead there was a description of intercourse when the guy is flaccid. The women even explained putting the man's soft penis inside them after retracting the foreskin and how they hardly felt it. Then they would lay back and see what happens, the guy may get hard he may not, you may experience an energy flow.
Which is all well and good for the "cold" people and all that but jeez, how devoid of passion. Plus do those women have a cavernous vagina? Even flaccid a penis would still be bigger than a finger, how can you not feel that? And what type of guy would still be flaccid when he is going into the woman he is attracted to? Why would you want to do that for hours three times a day as they described?
Gimme teh hot sex please. *nodnod* Hell even on my own I create a lot of heat, might have abraded myself a bit today though, but that doesn't make me want to apply a cool flaccid penis thanks.
~Iflie