i've missed you so...
very emotional and happy. i must start at the beginning. yesterday while i was at the movies the electrician came. he was checking all the plugs, so he scooted my dresser away cuz there's a plug behind it. it annoyed me that he didn't put it back, but i can cope. then i went to get dressed that night, and i found the most religious, the holiest item i own, broken on the ground. tears streaming down my face, i fell to the floor and picked it up. It was a clay sculpture of the virgin mary holding the baby jesus. i'm not all out there religious person, but my grandmother made that, and she gave it to my great grandfather, her father. i was very close to him. he died when i was only 6, but i loved him dearly, and i kno if he had lived on he and i would have become extremely close. i always felt a strong connection with him. he was an amazing trumpet player. anyways, i remember right before he died he took me and sat me down, and with tears in his eyes gave it to me. i was scared that he was crying, i was so surprised. he knew he was going to die soon, and that was one of his final gifts to me. that might've been the last time i saw him too... i don't remember exactly. anyways i've always taken excellent care of it since i love him so. and to find it broken in half, it broke my heart, i felt empty, like greatgrandpa wasn't there, that i had lost him. i ran to my dad's room and he said he'd fix it, and it now has just a small crack going around it. i went back to my room and felt so sad, i miss him so. i would give almost anything to see him again, to talk to him, to hear him say "putty-tat". after that i found my great grandmother's (yes, his wife) necklace, and found that it had a slight chip. this also made me sad. that is the only thing i have left of her, she died when i was four, and i have limited memories of her. i went to bed crying, seeing the both of them in my head. even now i'm close to tears. anyways, in the mornning i had a sudden urge to see Gerhard. seriously, as soon as i woke up i felt it. Gerhard was a pilot that flew me around several years ago in his plane. they were having a special thing at the nut tree airport, and so he took me out like he was supposed to, but he and i became close. apparently i looked like his own daughter. anyways, we met many times after that and he took me flying. i have many fond memories of him. he became like a close grandfather to me. anyways, as time went on we lost touch, and the next thing i heard was that he was selling his plane. i felt crushed and angry. i had such great memories in that plane. i was extremely upset, and angry to the point that i never called him. when i felt this strange urge to see him this morning, i looked in my room, and it was nowhere to be found. this upset me. i went through the day fine, and then i realized that when he took me flying, i recieved a certificate, and it should have his name on there and then i could call 411. i looked in my file, and amongst other things, i found it. it only had his signature and it was impossible to even try and read. i was upset and close to giving up, but i flipped it over and read these beautiful words "Gerhard/Karl (nice pilot)" along with a phone number. it was his phone number. i ran to my room and went to call him, but then i realized that he was very old when he flew me many years ago, and a sudden terror grasped me, that he might be gone. that me might be dead. i would be devastated to learn that i never got to say goodbye. then as the phone was ringing, i was afraid that something worse could be true- that the phone would be out of use, then i would never find out... it rang and a woman picked up. i told her who i was and how Gerhard used to pilot me around in his plane. i heard her talking to a man, i heard her say "it's a girl named sabrina" he said "who?" and she told him how i claimed that we had gone flying together. he immidietly picked up the phone and said "Sabrina?! Sabrina Muerle?!" it was a joyous time. i learnt that he had had a stroke a few years ago (i'm sure i turned white at this part) and that's why he had sold his plane, but now he was renting planes from people and he had his license again and he had just gone flying again this morning. we discussed lightly fond memories. he remembers me well and was glad to hear from me. he told me how he tells everyone about us flying together. aparently there was this time that we were flying and i saw some smoke and i said "smoke, that usually means there's a fire... i've never seen a fire from the sky before..." he then told me "well sabrina, why don't you fly us over for a closer look?" he said he remember watching my tiny hands grasp the wheel and turn the plane towards it. it brought tears to his eyes. he tells everyone about this aparently. i too have many memories. so many... i love him so, he is a great man. he's a true German too lol. whenever i talked to him, back then and now alike, he always said "if your dad's okay with it" after everything. "okay, well we can go flying then if your dad's okay with it" i thought it was odd, but my dad told me it was the true German way. lol. very sweet. anyways, Gerhard's busy right now, but we'll get in touch after fourth of July, and then he said he'll take me flying again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i had tears in my eyes. i missed him so. He always thought of me as a daughter. apparently i look a lot like his own daughter, but she rebelled or something, and now they rarely talk and such. i remember when i was young and my dad would drop me off at the airport when i would hug him and run to Gerhard, Gerhard asked me once "do you always do that? do you always hug your father?" i replyed with something like a "well, duh" but kinder. i hadn't realized till later how much it affected him. his daughter never hugged him, and he saw what a strong bond my family has. i consider him to be family, i am that close to him. he is the only "old person" left that i'm very close to. so i'm very glad, and i can't wait to see him. it shall be amazing. he was also amazed by my age. during our talk he said "wow, you must be like, 12 now!!!" i told him i was 16 and it sounded like he stumbled when he heard that lol. i miss him so, and i can't wait to see him. OH JOYOUS TIME!