Goods and bads
Well, uni is going great. I really get along very well with my mates, it's a nice atmosphere and the teachers seem to be nice. Well, I still haven't got used to the 3 hour teaching method, without talking to the students very much, but otherwise it's ok. Have a test in biophszics this monday and I have to study the osciloscope...*confused face* I read the first page of the study and the result was a long stare "O_o". Heh, have the weekend to study it all...
And I'm having panic attacks. X_X Not as severe as the one I had 3 weeks ago at the mountains, but I still have the impression that every small ache is the sign of a terrible disease and when the night comes I don't wanna sleep because I'm afraid...still i fall asleep immediatly. But I just can't get it! Before I watched the damn Supernatural I was so happy, sang in the room...just didn't think that any little ache could be a bad sign. Never thought of death...Where's the me that came back from Holland so happy? Where's the real me? She's disappeared..and now I'm a wreck, happy at school and depressed at home...well, not really depressed, but thinking of stupid things...I just wanna think positive, but it seems so hard...:(( Goddammit! I don't understand...I have great group mates, I even like 2 boys very much, I like uni...things should look nice...
I miss me...
And I'm having panic attacks. X_X Not as severe as the one I had 3 weeks ago at the mountains, but I still have the impression that every small ache is the sign of a terrible disease and when the night comes I don't wanna sleep because I'm afraid...still i fall asleep immediatly. But I just can't get it! Before I watched the damn Supernatural I was so happy, sang in the room...just didn't think that any little ache could be a bad sign. Never thought of death...Where's the me that came back from Holland so happy? Where's the real me? She's disappeared..and now I'm a wreck, happy at school and depressed at home...well, not really depressed, but thinking of stupid things...I just wanna think positive, but it seems so hard...:(( Goddammit! I don't understand...I have great group mates, I even like 2 boys very much, I like uni...things should look nice...
I miss me...