hey oh listen what i say oh

[maiacatherine]

my dad is dead

i cant say those words sincerly
i cant accept any of this
"this is all a dream"
is what circles in my head
im alive because i have to be
im not dead because it just hasnt happened yet
i curl into a tiny little ball in my bed
and i wish that i could just disapear
i dont really want to see anyone
but in a way i do
its strange
i dont want to talk to anyone about it
there isnt anything to talk about or say
i dont want people to post "im sorry" because their not
because its what they are taught to say by their parents
not what they actually feel
they say it out of responsibility to say it
gar left this morning and with him any hope of sanity
i stare at things all day
and that is how my days go by
their spent in silence
in an inbetween that suffocates me
my miricle drug is gone
and now im by myself
although i have someone
but is that a some
or a one?