Too Good IS True (II)
So I can't sleep. Amanda left this morning at 9:45 and I tried to lay down and sleep but I couldn't. Too many things running through my mind...my chemistry exam today...how I need to study...how I fear failure...all that stuff...so I got up and started to clean up. Just to clena my drawers and stuff like that. Cleaned my desk...okay, some of it. Now I'm here and I was just thinking about some stuff...
~~~~~
Last night he and I were talking. We do this thing where I lay on his chest and we just talk. Well, we were doing that and he was telling me about his time with the guys just then. While he was supposed to be studying. His voice changed. Not like, a little boy changes, but it was like, different? He laughed harder than I'd heard in a long time and he just made me smile so much. He asked me about Winter Break again. We will see each other before Christmas, that's not too bad. And then he said something I didn't even think about: New Years. "I want to spend New Years with you. I've never had someone special to share it with, and I want it to be you." I wanted to cry. It was so sweet. I'm asking my parents, no, begging them to let me stay with him New Years...gosh. That would make me so happy. Well, not only that but last night I was still laying on his chest and I had my head resting on my face and staring out his window and he said, "You look so beautiful right now." I'm sorry, but I NEVER got those compliments from Zach. When I started to tear up he asked what was wrong, I told him no one ever said anything like that to me. *sigh* He then went on to tell me that anyone who never said anything like that to me didn't know what they were looking at. I'm serious, he said that. It was so amazing. He just makes me smile soooo effing much.
~~~~~
I'm spending the night with him...well we were going to get up so I could go riding, but well, Leah just called me. We're going to ride today at 1:30...I'm excited. It's going to be a nice little let down before chemistry...except now I have to say good-bye to Jill and Le Chavel before I leave...one day sooner...I don't like leaving! I'm going to cry! I SWEAR! I love it here...it is my home. My life now...I love it. I love him...I'm going to cry when my parents make me say good-bye. This boy, who's given me a new sense of life. He lets me know EVERYDAY that I'm something special...he's always there for me. Maybe you, who read this, should listen to this CD he made me...it's so amazing. (I love the word "amazing") Riding in the car with him on Sat....it's gonna suck. I hope to curl up next to him and fall asleep. I don't want to be awake for the pain, even if they are my last hours with him...I can't bare the thought....;_;
~~~~~
I need to pack...a lot. I have so much food down here. And other stuff.
~~~~~
Maybe it isn't the college I don't want to leave. Don't get me wrong, I hate to leave Ashley, Megan P, Leah and everyone...but jeez...it's Brad....he's the reason I don't want to leave. Oh, and I just remembered 2 left with Byford. That'll make me cry. He's going to be going to Memphis for work and these are his last nights...jeez. He's been so cool to be with. Seriously, I remember when all I wanted was to listen to his stories. Now I won't be able to stare at him with an odd look when he says, "What do you think?" to a "guy" story. It's going to suck without him....it really will. But I get to spend Friday night with him and Brad....watching them drink. I don't think I'm going to last...watching my boy drink. I can't...I seriously can't imagine him drunk. I just can't.
~~~~~
I just remembered why I like Le Chavel so much. I've always wanted a barn where you walk in and people know you by name. Now, don't get me wrong, I have that at the other barns, but this is with people my age. And you get a new horse every time you ride. It's a surprise and they're amazing horses: Gemstone, Bonnie, Joe, Shane, Cloudy, Norman, Rocky, Allie, Laddie, etc. It's just so much fun to ride there...and at home we don't get to jump 2'6" courses.
~~~~~
I'm done...I can't do this anymore...I already made myself cry...
~*Becky*~
~~~~~
Last night he and I were talking. We do this thing where I lay on his chest and we just talk. Well, we were doing that and he was telling me about his time with the guys just then. While he was supposed to be studying. His voice changed. Not like, a little boy changes, but it was like, different? He laughed harder than I'd heard in a long time and he just made me smile so much. He asked me about Winter Break again. We will see each other before Christmas, that's not too bad. And then he said something I didn't even think about: New Years. "I want to spend New Years with you. I've never had someone special to share it with, and I want it to be you." I wanted to cry. It was so sweet. I'm asking my parents, no, begging them to let me stay with him New Years...gosh. That would make me so happy. Well, not only that but last night I was still laying on his chest and I had my head resting on my face and staring out his window and he said, "You look so beautiful right now." I'm sorry, but I NEVER got those compliments from Zach. When I started to tear up he asked what was wrong, I told him no one ever said anything like that to me. *sigh* He then went on to tell me that anyone who never said anything like that to me didn't know what they were looking at. I'm serious, he said that. It was so amazing. He just makes me smile soooo effing much.
~~~~~
I'm spending the night with him...well we were going to get up so I could go riding, but well, Leah just called me. We're going to ride today at 1:30...I'm excited. It's going to be a nice little let down before chemistry...except now I have to say good-bye to Jill and Le Chavel before I leave...one day sooner...I don't like leaving! I'm going to cry! I SWEAR! I love it here...it is my home. My life now...I love it. I love him...I'm going to cry when my parents make me say good-bye. This boy, who's given me a new sense of life. He lets me know EVERYDAY that I'm something special...he's always there for me. Maybe you, who read this, should listen to this CD he made me...it's so amazing. (I love the word "amazing") Riding in the car with him on Sat....it's gonna suck. I hope to curl up next to him and fall asleep. I don't want to be awake for the pain, even if they are my last hours with him...I can't bare the thought....;_;
~~~~~
I need to pack...a lot. I have so much food down here. And other stuff.
~~~~~
Maybe it isn't the college I don't want to leave. Don't get me wrong, I hate to leave Ashley, Megan P, Leah and everyone...but jeez...it's Brad....he's the reason I don't want to leave. Oh, and I just remembered 2 left with Byford. That'll make me cry. He's going to be going to Memphis for work and these are his last nights...jeez. He's been so cool to be with. Seriously, I remember when all I wanted was to listen to his stories. Now I won't be able to stare at him with an odd look when he says, "What do you think?" to a "guy" story. It's going to suck without him....it really will. But I get to spend Friday night with him and Brad....watching them drink. I don't think I'm going to last...watching my boy drink. I can't...I seriously can't imagine him drunk. I just can't.
~~~~~
I just remembered why I like Le Chavel so much. I've always wanted a barn where you walk in and people know you by name. Now, don't get me wrong, I have that at the other barns, but this is with people my age. And you get a new horse every time you ride. It's a surprise and they're amazing horses: Gemstone, Bonnie, Joe, Shane, Cloudy, Norman, Rocky, Allie, Laddie, etc. It's just so much fun to ride there...and at home we don't get to jump 2'6" courses.
~~~~~
I'm done...I can't do this anymore...I already made myself cry...
~*Becky*~