a lie and a lot of fail
Something thought provoking?
i don't think so, it seems my brain is literally turning to custard very quickly, i am unable to pull data from it most of the time, i can't find words, i can't find memories, just blanks
its rather well obviously depressing
i have no emotional connections to past anything, i broke it? what happened, i dunno, besides concussion, and being sick the past 6 months
endless sickness teaches me one thing however, i appreciate every simple motion in life
i look forward to sleep with an empty mind everynight
empty of thought
empty of love
empty of worry
just empty really
i can't even fake happyness, i really tried for years, i still do, half believing it still, it work sfor work, its kind of a prereq these days to be a good worker
but there is always a but
deep down i just feel as though this entire reality thing is as pointless as ever, no trickery will solve this problem
i would need to be either epicly epic, while a million naysayers say im not , or just be who i am
as much as i would love to be epicly epic, i am trying i really am, utilising my audio books, pattern recognition, stock trading, all in the aim to devise and make something epic, cause LIFE IS BEYOND POINTLESS
but its a challenge i will never give up on
knowledge accumulation is endless, and wisdom can never be peaked at
i just hope i don't lose my marbles fully, i really struggle to type and talk coherently a lot of the time, i seem to require copious sugar/alcohol to string sentences together, i cant work out if i am diabetic or hypothyroidism, or neither, hopeefully neither, but this sicknesss pretty much limits my entire life to eating and drinking, no love, no nothing
POINTLESSNESS with a real bitter reality
i don't think so, it seems my brain is literally turning to custard very quickly, i am unable to pull data from it most of the time, i can't find words, i can't find memories, just blanks
its rather well obviously depressing
i have no emotional connections to past anything, i broke it? what happened, i dunno, besides concussion, and being sick the past 6 months
endless sickness teaches me one thing however, i appreciate every simple motion in life
i look forward to sleep with an empty mind everynight
empty of thought
empty of love
empty of worry
just empty really
i can't even fake happyness, i really tried for years, i still do, half believing it still, it work sfor work, its kind of a prereq these days to be a good worker
but there is always a but
deep down i just feel as though this entire reality thing is as pointless as ever, no trickery will solve this problem
i would need to be either epicly epic, while a million naysayers say im not , or just be who i am
as much as i would love to be epicly epic, i am trying i really am, utilising my audio books, pattern recognition, stock trading, all in the aim to devise and make something epic, cause LIFE IS BEYOND POINTLESS
but its a challenge i will never give up on
knowledge accumulation is endless, and wisdom can never be peaked at
i just hope i don't lose my marbles fully, i really struggle to type and talk coherently a lot of the time, i seem to require copious sugar/alcohol to string sentences together, i cant work out if i am diabetic or hypothyroidism, or neither, hopeefully neither, but this sicknesss pretty much limits my entire life to eating and drinking, no love, no nothing
POINTLESSNESS with a real bitter reality