Stinky cheese
I commented recently about a blog I've been reading, Smart Bitches Who Love Trashy Novels, specifically that the reviews about books which they deem worthy of the grade F are the funniest things ever. Now I have proof. The review is for Savage Moon by Cassie Edwards. Apparently some kind, anonymous soul sent a box of Edwards book to Smart Bitch Sara and she picked this one up as part of a bad book wager with co-Bitch Candy. Based entirely on her review of this book, I can safely say that I will never, ever pick up a book by Cassie Edwards (even if I wasn't already prejudiced against books with half-naked people on their covers).
The best part of this review, however, is that Sara includes quotes from the book and her reactions to them, which had me laughing out loud. She's got this neat Java hold-your-mouse-over-it thing in the entry which I can't recreate, so you can read it yourself, or just imagine as I quote a few: (Italics denote Sara's thoughts)
.....
“It tears at my heart to know that such a man has my sister.” He would hunt down Chief Bear and kill the savage himself. If… she...was still alive!
Note: ellipses are for em...pha...sis....
.....
My heart is heavy. I cannot put everyone in danger only because the boy in me wants to go to my mother.
What a weenus.
.....
He was sure she had feelings for him, and that knowledge made his loins ache with need of her. He wanted her with him always!
When a man you have never met before realizes his loins ache with need of you...now THAT is Impulse. Or VD.
.....
She gasped, embarrassed by Washakie’s openness in speaking about Soaking Hawk’s loins!
I did not want to know about his loins, either, but no one asked me.
.....
And my favourite:
“This is our special night. My woman, I have not even played my flute of love for you.”
NO NO NO. DO NOT PLAY YOUR FLUTE OF LOVE.
.....
And one art, before I go to bed:
- radar needed - by fushii
The best part of this review, however, is that Sara includes quotes from the book and her reactions to them, which had me laughing out loud. She's got this neat Java hold-your-mouse-over-it thing in the entry which I can't recreate, so you can read it yourself, or just imagine as I quote a few: (Italics denote Sara's thoughts)
.....
“It tears at my heart to know that such a man has my sister.” He would hunt down Chief Bear and kill the savage himself. If… she...was still alive!
Note: ellipses are for em...pha...sis....
.....
My heart is heavy. I cannot put everyone in danger only because the boy in me wants to go to my mother.
What a weenus.
.....
He was sure she had feelings for him, and that knowledge made his loins ache with need of her. He wanted her with him always!
When a man you have never met before realizes his loins ache with need of you...now THAT is Impulse. Or VD.
.....
She gasped, embarrassed by Washakie’s openness in speaking about Soaking Hawk’s loins!
I did not want to know about his loins, either, but no one asked me.
.....
And my favourite:
“This is our special night. My woman, I have not even played my flute of love for you.”
NO NO NO. DO NOT PLAY YOUR FLUTE OF LOVE.
.....
And one art, before I go to bed:
- radar needed - by fushii