Once again, its been a long time
Seems like all I do is update once every couple months or so, but I suppose that's ok. Life has been so packed with new things. Since my last entry I got married and started teaching high school physics and physical science. The wedding was perfect, and married life has been wonderful. People have asked how I've been able to manage two big life transitions at once, and the truth is, I don't think I'd have made it through the last four weeks of teaching if I hadn't gotten married first. Johannah helps me so much more than I could ever ask.
Which brings me to the next point. Teaching is hard!! Holy crap. Its a lot of work and there are a lot of skills you need as a teacher that apparently you pretty much learn the hard way. Thankfully there are some things I'm good at and some things I really enjoy about teaching.
I'm also realizing that I have a lot of emotional growing up to do. Its hard for me just to get used to this amount of work, and the fact that I havae to be ready to go again 5 days a week (hurray for Labor Day!). It takes a toll, and coming out of college I'm just not used to it. So that's growing up I guess. I keep telling myself that, but it still sucks.
Everyone tells me that no one enjoys it their first year. The first year is pretty much just really hard, and you screw up a lot, and you pay for your screw ups all year long, and if you survive then good. It certainly is hard for me to imagine how I'll get through 8 more months of this. But I suppose I can't think about it that way. All I can think about it is getting through tomorrow, and maybe the rest of the week. I suppose I can make it through another week.
The other thing they say is, don't decide whether you like it or not after one year, because your second year will inevitably be so much better than your first. My plan is still to pursue graduate study in theology next fall, but I certainly want to teach in some capacity. One thing I know is that if I ever became a professor, no college class could ever scare me after having taught lower-performing 11th graders. At least, I don't think so.
I'm just going to keep showing up, and doing my best to do my best, and accepting that a lot of the time it just isn't going to feel good, and that's ok. I have to be grateful for the satisfaction I do find, which is significant, and know that the only path to real satisfaction in a craft is through hard work and time becoming good at it.
Anyway, as I said, I love being married. As much as I can't really envision how I'll get through 8 more months of this "being a first year teacher" thing, I really can see (as much as is possible at 23) another 60 years of this being a husband thing. I feel very blessed in that respect.
Which brings me to the next point. Teaching is hard!! Holy crap. Its a lot of work and there are a lot of skills you need as a teacher that apparently you pretty much learn the hard way. Thankfully there are some things I'm good at and some things I really enjoy about teaching.
I'm also realizing that I have a lot of emotional growing up to do. Its hard for me just to get used to this amount of work, and the fact that I havae to be ready to go again 5 days a week (hurray for Labor Day!). It takes a toll, and coming out of college I'm just not used to it. So that's growing up I guess. I keep telling myself that, but it still sucks.
Everyone tells me that no one enjoys it their first year. The first year is pretty much just really hard, and you screw up a lot, and you pay for your screw ups all year long, and if you survive then good. It certainly is hard for me to imagine how I'll get through 8 more months of this. But I suppose I can't think about it that way. All I can think about it is getting through tomorrow, and maybe the rest of the week. I suppose I can make it through another week.
The other thing they say is, don't decide whether you like it or not after one year, because your second year will inevitably be so much better than your first. My plan is still to pursue graduate study in theology next fall, but I certainly want to teach in some capacity. One thing I know is that if I ever became a professor, no college class could ever scare me after having taught lower-performing 11th graders. At least, I don't think so.
I'm just going to keep showing up, and doing my best to do my best, and accepting that a lot of the time it just isn't going to feel good, and that's ok. I have to be grateful for the satisfaction I do find, which is significant, and know that the only path to real satisfaction in a craft is through hard work and time becoming good at it.
Anyway, as I said, I love being married. As much as I can't really envision how I'll get through 8 more months of this "being a first year teacher" thing, I really can see (as much as is possible at 23) another 60 years of this being a husband thing. I feel very blessed in that respect.