Under My Skin (continued)
Under My Skin (continued)
Part 1
Part 2
Mercy, Hope, and Charity entered Lex's office.
These three women were closer to Lex than anyone else. If Clark could fool them, he could fool anyone. And he had to fool them. He needed their help.
It had occurred to Clark that if he was in Lex's body, it meant that Lex was in his body. Lex was a ruthless genius, bent on controlling the world and now he had the power to do so. No one would be able to stop him - not the world's governments and not the Justice League. The only one who'd ever had the power to challenge a Kryptonian had been Lex Luthor with his array of machines and highly trained personnel.
Fortunately, Clark had access to all those weapons and personnel. If he didn't completely blow it, that is.
"Ladies," he said in greeting, trying for Lex's cool calm tone.
"Hey Boss," Mercy replied as the others nodded to him and said quiet 'Sirs'. "Did you call all of us in here for a nice long fuck?"
Clark nearly fell out of his chair. Was Lex having sex with his three bodyguards? His three almost Amazonian bodyguards? At the same time? And people called Clark 'Superman'.
"N-n-no," he stammered out, knowing from the heat he felt in his face that he was probably blushing.
Mercy didn't seem to notice. She simply grinned at him. "One of these days, Boss, you're going to change that answer." She propped a hip on his desk. "So, if you're not going to have sex with us, what do you want us to do?"
Clark cleared his throat. "We have to kill Superman."
All three women let out a groan.
"Not again," muttered Hope
Clark turned to face Hope. "Superman is a dangerous alien. We have to stop him before he takes over the world."
"Same song, second verse," she replied.
Before Clark could say anything else, Mercy intervened.
"Listen, Boss, we know you have a real hard-on for Superman-"
Charity giggled. "You can say that again."
Mercy gave her a quelling look then continued. "But Superman has never shown any inclination that he wants to rule the world."
"That's about to change," Clark said solemnly.
"Really?" Mercy arched an eyebrow in disbelief.
"Yes," Clark confirmed. "I have inside information."
* * *
Lex finally gave up his efforts and picked up the phone. He quickly dialed his private number. It seemed to ring forever, but at last Clark answered.
"Hello?"
Lex resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He didn't think he'd ever sounded that tentative.
"Spill," Lex said into the phone. "How do you make your heat vision work?"
"What?"
"Your heat vision," Lex said, enunciating carefully. "I've tried everything and no go. How do you start it up?"
"Do you really think I'd tell you?" Clark asked.
"Come on, Clark. It's not like we have any secrets left between us." Lex chuckled. "Or we won't after I take my morning shower. You do prefer the shower, don't you?"
"The shower...." There was a pause in which Lex swore he could hear over the phone the sound of a heart beating faster as blood pumped angrily. "You leave my equipment alone."
"Fine. I won't touch your equipment."
Clark breathed a sigh of relief.
"I do plan, however, to do all sorts of lovely things to your cock."
"Leeeeeex," Clark said low and warningly.
"Do you know how long I've waited to have my hand wrapped around your cock? Ages. Pity I won't be able to suck it." A thought occurred to Lex. "Hey, Clark, exactly how bendy are you?"
"I'm going to kill you!" Clark screamed. "I'm going to rip your throat out."
"Wow," Lex said breathily. "I didn't know that I sounded so sexy when issuing death threats."
Clark growled in response.
"Oh, fuck, yes! Do that again."
A burst of heat flared from Lex's eyes.
"Shit, Clark! I just set your apartment wall on fire."
"Use your breath to blow it out," Clark said quickly.
"I haven't figured that one out yet!" was the panicked reply.
"Then use the fire extinguisher right outside the apartment door."
Several minutes passed as Lex raced to put out the fire. When he finally finished he picked the phone back up.
"You still there, Clark?"
"Yeah."
"You know, this gives me a much different perspective on every time you burned something up."
Clark covered his face with a palm. "Shut up," he muttered.
"I think I'll tackle flying next," Lex announced happily. "Say... if I hop out your window I know I'll crack the sidewalk, but will I sink into the earth? And if so, how deep?"
"Good-bye, Lex," Clark sighed and hung up.
Lex shrugged and hung up, too. It didn't matter if Clark didn't answer. Lex had always liked finding information out for himself.
* * *
Mercy opened the door to the lead-lined room and Clark instinctively flinched back. When his blood didn't start to boil, he took a step forward.
Inside the room were rows and rows of meteor rock, most of which had been refined and made into bars. There were still a few rocks in the original form. The miracle was that all of the kryptonite simply sat there, not glowing or hurting him.
It suddenly occurred to Clark that he wasn't an alien anymore. He was human. He was mortal. He was going to die.
"Oh, crud! I'm going to die!" Clark moaned.
Mercy's gun cleared its holster in a flash. "Where's the intruder? I didn't see anyone or hear anything. How bad are you shot?"
"I'm not shot," Clark said. "But if I was, that could kill me. Or I could get sick. Or be hit by a car. Or get an infection. Or a tumor. Tumors are nasty things, you know?"
Mercy frowned at him. "Did you hit your head?"
"No, but that could kill me too. And Lex always gets hit in the head. It's like there's a magnetic connection between his head and hard surfaces."
"I think you've been working too hard, Boss."
Clark tamped down on his fright at the prospect of his mortality. "No, I'm fine. It's just... I don't want to die."
Mercy smiled. "That's why you have me."
Clark decided that despite all those times in the past when Mercy had tried to destroy him, she truly was the most wonderful person in the world.
* * *
It turned out that Lex didn't leap out the apartment window. He'd sat on the edge looking down, but despite knowing that he was now invulnerable, knowing that he couldn't be hurt, he still couldn't bring himself to jump. His sense of preservation was just too darn strong.
He'd remembered the lake on his property in Smallville and decided that might be a good place to test his ability to fly. After taking a good, long look at Clark's car, he'd opted to run to Smallville versus driving there.
Running had been terrific. He'd felt free, free of cares and worries, free of responsibility. If that was what running was like, flying would kick ass.
It had taken a while to get the hang of flying. Exactly seventeen times he'd jumped off the pier only to land in the water with a splash. On the eighteenth attempt he'd hovered for not quite two full seconds before plunging into the water. By the twenty-sixth time he was floating above the water. On the thirty-third try, Lex actually went up after he jumped off the pier.
Lex laughed. He was filled with glee and wonder. With joy he walked on top of the water yelling "I am a god!" before being overcome with laughter again.
He'd only returned to shore for a few minutes when he heard a car approaching. Scanning the distance, he saw that it was still half a mile away and wasn't his hearing and eyesight fucking amazing?
Two men emerged from the car and Lex recognized them as part of the mansion's security detail.
"Gentlemen," he greeted them sternly. "I've been here most of the day and you're only now coming to investigate?"
The men didn't respond to his remark. One of them stepped closer.
"Sir, you're currently trespassing. This is private property. Please leave the area immediately."
"Yeah, right," Lex scoffed.
"If you do not leave the property willingly, you will be forcibly removed."
As the men moved closer a pain seared through Lex. In horrid fascination, he looked at his skin that had lost its healthy tan and was slowly turning green. The veins on his arms were protruding and felt as if they were going to burst out of his skin. All of his organs seemed to be clenching and shriveling inside of him.
Kryptonite bullets. All of his security guards were always outfitted with kryptonite bullets. He knew that they hurt Clark, but shit, he'd never known how much. A small, a very small part of him felt guilty. What he was mostly feeling, however, was waves of pain.
Stumbling back, Lex waved the guards away.
"I'm going," he gasped. He took a few more steps away and found he could breathe easier. I'll leave immediately just... just stay away."
By the time he'd walked into the trees and out of the sight of the guards, Lex felt strong enough to run.
* * *
Clark looked at the large robot skeptically.
"You really think this will work? You really think that it'll defeat Superman?"
Mercy shrugged. "Probably not."
"Then why use it?"
"It will distract him from the sharp-shooters on the roof that will be armed with kryptonite bullets."
"You don't think he'll notice them?"
"Of course he'll notice them. He'll be on the look out for them, knowing that the robot's a distraction. That's why when the robot threatens the safety of a school bus, he may not notice that it's actually full of midgets all armed with kryptonite in their lead-lined lunch boxes."
Clark stared at Mercy for a moment, feeling bewildered. Being an evil genius was a lot harder than it looked.
* * *
Lex laughed as he tossed then caught the head of the destructive robot Clark had sent after him. Had Clark really thought that a bus load of midgets would fool him? Like that ploy hadn't been used a thousand times before.
Striding through the halls of the Watchtower, Lex half-expected a clamor of alarms to start sounding. But of course they wouldn't.
After all, he was Super-fucking-man and he practically owned this place.
Doors slid open and admitted him to the Hall of Justice.
"Hey, Flash, think fast," Lex said, tossing the robot's head at the red-clad superhero.
Flash, taken by surprise, fumbled a bit with the piece of broken metal.
"Oh right," Lex said. "I forgot that thinking's not what you do fast. Or at all."
Wonder Woman advanced toward Lex, a slight frown on her face.
"Superman, is something wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, Sweetcheeks. In fact, I'm feeling pretty darn good after just saving the world and all that shit." He wickedly ogled her breasts. "Want to personally congratulate me?"
Wonder Woman looked as if she was contemplating how she could smack his face without breaking the bones in her hand.
"Superman!" Batman's disapproving voice echoed in the chamber. "Could I see you in private for a moment." Clearly it wasn't a request, but an order.
Lex grinned. "First Flash, then, Wonder Woman, and then came you, Batman."
Batman gave him a steely glare, before turning toward an exit.
"He sure is cranky," Lex commented.
It was only Lex's new super hearing that allowed him to hear "You should see him in the morning," that Flash, Robin, and Wonder Woman all muttered under their breaths.
He almost stumbled as he gazed at the superheroes. The three of them couldn't mean what he thought they meant, could they?
Following Batman, Lex was a little surprised when he was ushered into what appeared to be private quarters. When Batman turned to close the door, he used super speed and strength and pinned him against the frame.
Leaning forward, he whispered into Batman's ear. "Why'd you want to see me in private? Did you want to break out the Batlube and the Batcondoms and let me into your Batcave?"
Batman struggled to turn around and Lex decided to allow it, moving slightly away.
The look in Batman's eyes was intense and Lex was glad that his current body was invulnerable. As it was, he wondered if Batman was going to break out the Kryptonite he probably had secured in his belt. Lex braced himself for the coming confrontation.
"Oh God!" Batman said, shocking Lex to the core. "Do you know how long I've waited for this?"
"What?" Lex quickly took several steps back.
"Ever since we were captured that time by the alien scientists who wanted to use us to propagate a new race of super strong creatures for use in their gladiator competitions," Batman said, answering his own question. He pushed himself from the wall and advanced toward Lex.
"What!"
"I know you said that you never, ever wanted to talk about it, but for weeks it was all I could think of."
The man was crazy, Lex decided. Of course the fact that the guy ran around dressed as a bat should've been his first clue.
"You're one of the few people on Earth stronger and tougher than me." Batman closed the distance between them and grabbed Lex's shoulders. His voice dropped to a husky whisper. "One of the few people who could dominate me the way I want to be."
The man was crazy and kinky! Again, that costume should've been a big clue. Lex now saw all those times that Batman had been tied up by various villains in an entirely different light.
"Um... shouldn't we go out on patrol or something?" Lex asked, attempting to hide the desperation in his voice.
"I'd rather stay here with you."
Lex let out a gasp as a gloved hand swept down his torso to his crotch. For a superhero that wasn't gifted with super speed, Batman worked fast.
This was so not good. Lex couldn't believe he'd gotten himself into this mess. Now he just had to think of a way out of it. Then an idea came to him and he smiled.
"And I'm telling you that we have to go out on patrol, Batman," Lex purred. He let his voice grow harder, "Or are you going to defy me?"
Batman shivered and shook his head. "No. I'm not defying you."
"I think you are. I think you've been a very bad Bat and I'm going to have to punish you." Lex pushed Batman away from him and then forced him down to his knees.
A small moan escaped Batman's lips.
"But you're going to have to wait until later for your punishment because we have to patrol." Lex said. "I expect you to think about how bad you've been and what I should do to you until then."
Batman gulped and nodded as Lex left the room. Once out in the corridor, Lex let out a shaky breath.
Who would have ever thought that the cute kid on Webster would be such a kinky bastard?
Lex was passing the Hall of Justice on his way out when Flash called to him.
"Hey, Supes! Your crush is on television."
"What?"
"Quit teasing him," Wonder Woman chided Flash.
Moving into the room, Lex could see several monitors all showing the face and body of Lex Luthor that Clark currently occurpied.
"What's going on?" Lex said as he moved closer.
"Luthor's having a press conference," Robin stated. "He's probably going to deny any involvement in that robot you just brought down."
"I called you here today to make an important announcement," Clark was saying on the screen. "As of today, I am withdrawing my bid for Senator."
"You can't do that!" Lex yelled at the screen. "Do you know how much money I've spent? How many promises I've made? Arms twisted? Do you know the amount of time and work that I-" Lex broke off as he realized the rest of the room was staring at him.
"Um... I was going to write a story about it," Lex mumbled. "You know, about corruption and other evil, bad things that go on in politics."
The others nodded. Evidently Lex had guessed right and they knew of his true identity. Clark always had sucked at keeping secrets.
He focused back on the screen where Clark was answering questions. If he ever got back into his own body this would be a setback, but only a setback. Plenty of politicians made announcements about quitting politics only to run for office a few years down the road. Clark may think he'd ruined Lex's political career, but Lex could work around this. Clark hadn't won.
Clark turned to leave the press conference then paused, as if remembering something. As Lex watched, he made his way back to the podium.
"One last thing," Clark said. "In addition to retiring from the political field I would like to mention that I am legally changing my name. My full name will no longer be Alexander Joseph Luthor."
Lex clenched his fists. What the hell was Clark doing?
"From now on," Clark continued, my name is Alexander Josephina Luthor. But you can call me Fifi."
"I'll kill him!" Lex snarled.
* * *
The plan was brilliant in its simplicity and it would absolutely destroy Clark.
There had been a calendar in Clark's apartment which provided evidence of a complete lack of a social life. However, Clark did have one date circled. There was one special person who he planned to see.
Knocking on the front door, Lex waited. When the door opened, he smiled. Despite a few more gray hairs, Martha Kent was still as lovely as he remembered.
* * *
Clark picked up his phone and saw that he had a message from Lex. Part of him had expected to be attacked by Lex on his way out of the press conference. He should've known better. Even with super powers, Lex was not the type to use physical violence that could be directly traced back to him.
Bracing himself for a rant, he pressed the button to listen to what Lex had to say.
"I noticed on Clark Kent's calendar there was a dinner scheduled. I hope you don't mind if I keep that date. I wouldn't want to disappoint your mother."
It was a good thing that Clark no longer had super strength or he would've crushed the phone in his hand. Lex, however, was still talking.
"The relationship between mother and son is so very precious. I had a good relationship with my own mother. It was such a tragedy when she died. I certainly hope nothing happens to spoil your relationship with Martha. No, wait. I should call her Mom, shouldn't I?"
Before the sound of that last word faded from the room, Clark was on his way out the door, yelling for Mercy to get the helicopter immediately ready for a trip to Smallville.
* * *
Lex had eaten at the best restaurants in the world. His private chef was world-renowned. Somehow none of those professionally prepared meals could compare with that of Martha Kent's home cooking.
Maybe, he thought, it was because he'd always enjoyed the few times he'd been welcomed into the house, feeling as if he was almost part of the family and not just some kid peering in through the window. The emotional connection added much more flavor to the meal.
Even now, after prohibiting any desire to be part of a family from ever resurfacing, Martha Kent's cooking was still an amazing thing.
They'd taken their coffee and moved into the living room. Martha had given him a curious look when he said he'd prefer to have dessert a little later, but had complied willingly.
He'd spent the next half hour pleasantly entertained by Martha's news and information of the goings on of Smallville, specifically the Talon, her Ladies Auxiliary, and the book club she'd joined three months earlier.
"And can you believe that almost a third of those women had never even the read the book? Why did they even bother joining a book club if all they wanted to do was sit around and gossip?"
"I have no idea," Lex replied.
He'd had one ear on the conversation and another super powered ear tuned to the sound of a helicopter coming closer. It was still quite a ways from Smallville, but Lex fully expected it to arrive on Martha's drive shortly. It was time to enact his plan that would destroy Martha and Clark's relationship.
Lex edged closer to Martha so that their legs pressed against each other.
This was going to be so simple, yet so soul shattering. All he had to do was make a play for Martha Kent. He needed to kiss her, touch her, maybe push her back on the couch, and lay on top of her.
It would be no real hardship for him. He'd always thought Martha was an attractive woman.
He wouldn't hurt her, either. At least not physically. Lex refused to let himself think of the emotional turmoil she'd have at the thought that Clark, that her beloved son, wanted to have sex with her.
Lex knew that it wouldn't take long for her to learn that he wasn't really Clark. Clark would never do that to his mother. But the experience wouldn't be erased. Afterwards, there would be a crack in their close mother-son relationship. A crack that would never go away.
She'd find herself stiffening whenever Clark came too close and each time it would cause Clark pain.
"Clark?" Martha was looking at him worriedly and Lex realized he'd lost the thread of the conversation. She placed a hand on his arm. "Is something wrong?"
Turning to face her, he nodded.
"Lex," she said solemnly.
Lex almost fell off the couch in shock. How had she known it was him?
"How did you know?" Lex asked.
Martha gave him a gentle smile. "Whenever you come to me upset, it's usually because of him."
So she didn't realize that it wasn't Clark next to her. He could still enact his plan.
"Sweetheart," Martha continued, "I know you regret not telling him your secret. I know you think if you'd done things differently, you'd still be friends, but you have to stop letting it bother you so much."
"What do you propose that I do?"
Martha looked at him strangely for a moment before speaking. "As I've said before, people can change. If he ever seems to regret the choices he's made, if he ever needs help to become the man you think he can be - be there for him. Be his friend."
Lex could hear the helicopter landing at the end of the lane. If he didn't make his move now, if he didn't start kissing Martha, he'd lose the opportunity.
Closing his eyes, he leaned forward. His head dropped down on Martha's shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him in a hug.
"I know it's tough," she said soothingly as she rubbed his back. "I know you miss his friendship. But someday you may get it back."
Lex let her comfort him and ignored the sound of feet storming up the front porch steps and the door slamming open.
"Get away from her!" Clark shouted.
Martha and Lex sprang to their feet. Standing in the doorway was Lex Luthor, angrier than anyone had ever seen him. He was holding a gun that Lex was fairly sure held kryptonite bullets.
"Lex?" Martha said. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm not Lex. I'm Clark. We've switched bodies," Clark explained, still aiming the gun at Lex. "Move away from him, Mom."
Martha turned to look at Lex, then back at Clark. "No," she said firmly.
"I don't want him to hurt you," Clark said. "I have to kill him."
"Clark Jerome Kent, you put that gun down right now!" Martha ordered. "There will be no killing in my house."
"Mom, it's Lex!"
"I know that. Now put that gun in the closet with your father's shotgun, then come to the kitchen table. You're just in time for dessert."
She spun to face Lex. "You go sit at the table and wait. I think it's time you and my son talked."
"Martha, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I should have, but..."
"Apologies later. After dessert."
At that moment Mercy burst in through the back door in a controlled tumble, coming to a halt with her gun trained on Lex.
"Young lady, I just told Clark, I mean Lex, to put his gun in the hall closet. I expect you to do the same."
Mercy arched an eyebrow at her boss.
Clark sighed and nodded. "Do what she tells you to."
Holstering her gun, Mercy smiled at Martha Kent. "Sorry to bust in like that." She held out her hand to Martha. "I'm Mercy, Lex Luthor's personal bodyguard."
"I'm pleased to meet you. I'm Martha Kent, Clark's mother. Go wash up because you're just in time for pie."
* * *
Clark sunk to the couch in the barn loft and put his head in his hands. He hadn't realized how much easier it had been to be Superman who was perfect and was never questioned and didn't have a mother that would protect his nemesis and make them eat dessert together and wash dishes afterwards. Then she'd sent them to the barn to work things out.
Lex sat down next to him. "I wouldn't have hurt your mother. Not really. I thought you knew that."
Lifting his face from his hands, he turned to stare at Lex. "Do you know what the last couple of days have been like? This isn't even the icing on the cake. It's not even the roses. It's one of the teeny sprinkles thrown on for decoration.
Easing slightly away from him, Lex said slowly, humoring him, "Ooookay."
"It's so bad that I'm currently contemplating telling Mercy, Hope, and Charity that I've changed my mind and I do want to have sex with all of them at the same time."
"You can't!" Lex said, straightening up and staring at Clark in horror. "That would be suicide."
"I know," Clark answered.
There was long period of silence while Clark and Lex both imagined all the suffering Clark would experience if he chose that route to end it all. Clark adjusted his pants slightly and Lex wondered with all the technology that Clark had as a Kryptonian, why couldn't he dress in a material that hid his assets but still allowed full freedom of movement.
Lex spoke with regret evident in his voice. "We need to get back to our own bodies before we destroy each other."
"Yes, but how?"
Lex's gaze ran down the body that used to be his. He'd always known he was incredibly sexy. It was nice, however, to know that Clark's body reacted to the sight of his so strongly.
"I believe that if we get as close as two people can get it might work. In that state, our minds will seek their proper place."
Clark's eyes narrowed. "Are you telling me we should have sex?"
"Yes, Clark. If we don't, things may never go back to normal. The sooner we fuck the better. The longer our minds are in their current bodies, the more difficult it will be to get them to reverse."
Still looking suspicious, Clark nodded. "Okay. Where do you want to do this?"
"How about right here?" Lex answered. "This couch looks comfortable."
"My mom's in the house and so is Mercy," Clark said. "We are not doing this where my mom could ever hear us or anything."
"Fine. We'll go to my mansion. Your mansion. The mansion."
Clark nodded in agreement. "I do have one question. Do you think we could leave Mercy here with my mom? She kind of scares me. I never realized how close she kept tabs on you. I wouldn't put it past her to have a camera pointed at your bed."
Lex let out a laugh. "That's nonsense. I can assure you that Mercy doesn't have a single camera pointed at my bed."
Reassured, Clark rose and headed for the barn loft stairs.
Following him, Lex reminded himself that he hadn't lied. Mercy didn't have a single camera pointed at his bed.
She had three.
* * *
Clark lay gasping for breath. That had been incredible. Definitely the best sex he'd ever had in his life. Lex had done some amazing things using Clark's super powers.
Too bad it hadn't helped the situation and he was still trapped in Lex's body.
However, now knowing what Lex's body could do and how it felt to have certain things done to it, the situation didn't seem quite as dire as it had.
"It didn't work," Clark stated.
Lex opened his eyes slowly, just in case more heat shot from them. He wasn't too happy at what he'd done to his bedroom. There were burns streaks on the wall and the drapes were charred. He was probably lucky he hadn't burned down the mansion.
"No, it didn't," Lex conceded.
"I guess we're stuck like this."
Lex cleared his throat. "We could try it again."
"Try it again?" Clark's voice rose an octave as he talked. "I've fucked you. You've fucked me. We've blown each other. Twice. We've fingered, tongued, rubbed, done basically everything you could think of, which by the way is a hell of a lot more than I could think of, and it hasn't worked. What makes you think that it will work if we try again?"
"Is that a 'no'?"
Clark sighed, rolled over, then pressed his current body up against the one he was used to occupying.
"Fine. We'll try again."
* * *
Three days later even Lex had to admit it wasn't working.
"I guess there's just one thing to do," Lex stated as he climbed out of bed and headed for the bathroom to shower. "I'll have to recreate the experiment."
"How are going to do that? I destroyed all your computers and burned your notes and paperwork."
Lex gave a little cough that sound ever so much like he was attempting to cover a laugh. "Every day we back up all our data and store it at a secret off-site location."
"I don't understand," Clark said, shaking his head in confusion. "If you always had the ability to recreate the experiment, why did we have all that sex?"
Lex grinned.
* * *
Two days later Clark slumped down on the couch at the penthouse next to Lex. He rubbed his eyes and felt more tired than he could ever remember being. He was more tired than when aliens had landed in Disneyland and demanded to be taken to Mickey Mouse. He was more tired than when a gigantic monster had decided to use the Washington Monument as a sex toy. He was even more tired than when Lana had visited him in the barn loft years ago to confront him about his secrets and lies.
It didn't help that every time he saw Mercy, she made some naughty comment as if she somehow knew what he'd been doing with Lex.
"Poor baby," Lex said. "It's hard being human, isn't it?"
Try as he might, Clark couldn't hear anything but sympathy in what could've been a snide comment. He nodded in reply.
Lex stood and moved to stand behind Clark. Large hands came down on Clark's shoulders and started massaging the tight muscles there.
"I'd help you but that's impossible."
Clark gave a small sigh of pleasure as the hands moved to his neck. "I know. Superman can't be seen helping Lex Luthor re-establish a secret lab."
"Especially if we're going to re-enact its destruction."
Clark moaned as Lex stroked his hands down and began to work on the muscles of his back. "Mmmm... marry me and do this forever."
His first indication he'd said something wrong was when Lex stilled behind him. With a jolt, Clark realized what he'd said.
"I-I'm sorry," he stammered. "I didn't-"
"Forget it," Lex said dismissively. "I think crazy proposals must be wired into that body."
For a short time they sat in silence.
"What if this doesn't work?" Clark finally asked. "Are we going to continue being enemies?"
"It has to work," Lex said grimly. "Otherwise I'm going to end up knowing Batman a lot better than I'd ever planned."
"What?" Clark said, confused.
"Never mind. It'll work," Lex assured him.
Clark nodded, but he wasn't so sure. From the sound of Lex's voice, Lex wasn't so sure, either. Part of Clark didn't want his own body back. Although being human and vulnerable scared the shit out of him, he didn't mind so much because he knew that Lex, at least, was safe.
Over the past week, he'd grown closer to Lex. He'd learned Lex from the inside out and he knew that Lex knew him in the same way. For the first time since he could remember, maybe forever, he didn't feel so alone in the world.
If the experiment worked, he'd go back to being Superman. Lex would go back to being evil, and everything would be normal again.
He wondered if the reason he felt like crying was because he was human.
"Do you want to have sex?" Clark blurted out.
Lex turned his head and looked at Clark in surprise.
Even though he felt suddenly bashful, Clark moved closer to Lex.
"Redoing the experiment may not work. So we should keep trying everything we can think of including constantly having sex to see if our brains switch in the middle of it."
Lex leaned down and looked in Clark's eyes. "That's a brilliant idea. My genius must be rubbing off on you."
Clark gave him a truly wicked Luthor leer. "Let's make sure that's not the only rubbing off there is."
* * *
Lex and Clark stood in the middle of the lab. They'd banished the scientists earlier. Mercy had wanted to stay, not trusting Superman to be alone with her boss, but Clark had insisted for her own safety that she leave.
"Are you ready?" Lex asked.
Clark nodded. "Do it."
"I think I can skip the part where you crashed through the wall and ranted at me. After that, the first thing you did was smash those beakers and soaking both of us in the process." Lex proceeded to do just as he remembered Clark doing.
Clark wiped at his face, then looked down at himself. "You ruined my clothes. Darn it, you even ruined my shoes. I liked those shoes."
Lex stared at Clark for so long that Clark finally said impatiently, "What?"
"I love you," Lex said.
Clark's mouth dropped open. "You're telling me this now?"
Lex blinked several times. "Oh God," he yelped. "I've been in your body too long. I'm catching the dumb."
"I'm not dumb!" Clark shouted. "And for your information, I love you too! Now don't you think there's something you ought to be doing?"
"I hope the dumb isn't permanent," Lex muttered under his breath as he smashed the computers.
A moment later he eyed a large pile of papers.
"The way you gasp when I enter you. You begging me to go faster and harder. That little catch in your breath when you say my name."
"What are you doing?" Clark practically shouted .
The corner of Lex's mouth quirked up. "Thinking sexy thoughts."
His heat vision shot out and the papers ignited.
"You are so bad," Clark murmured, his face bright red.
"That's not what you said last night. In fact, I remember you telling me how good I was."
"You're awfully cocky."
Lex glanced down his body at his spandex-covered package. "Yeah, I am. No matter which body I'm in. But enough talk. It's time to see if this works or not."
Reaching out with one large hand, Lex grabbed Clark around the neck.
ZZZT!
As before, both of them were sent flying.
Clark felt his torso, then his head. He was still in Lex's body. He could see his own body across the room.
"It didn't work," Clark said as Lex walked over and pulled him to his feet.
"I'm sorry, Clark. I really thought it would." Lex scanned the room. "Maybe... maybe something wasn't right. Maybe the temperature in the room was different. Maybe there were more electrical sparks."
"Maybe," Clark said quietly before heading for the door.
* * *
"Clark?"
Clark felt the mattress shift as Lex climbed into the bed next to him. After the experiment had failed Clark had returned to the Penthouse, taken a shower, and then crawled under the covers. When he didn't reply to Lex's query, Lex moved closer, spooning up behind him.
"I didn't do it on purpose. I hope you know that."
"I do," Clark said barely above a whisper.
"We'll try again. I promise you. We'll keep trying until we get you back where you belong."
"What if we can't? I was able to fool everyone that I was you by canceling my meetings or assigning them to someone else, but I can't do it forever. I can't be you."
"I'll help you," Lex said, wrapping his arm around Clark's waist and pulling him closer. "I'll help you be Lex Luthor and you'll help me be Clark Kent. I'll teach you about the markets and you'll teach me how to inspire people. I'll instruct you on how to crush your competitors and you'll instruct me on how best to keep from crushing people you rescue. I'll give you pointers about getting along with Mercy, Hope, and Charity and you'll do the same with me and the Justice League and no fucking will be involved in either case."
"You'll really help me? You promise?"
"I promise. Together we'll be Lex Luthor and Clark Kent."
Clark relaxed in Lex's arms.
"Lex Luthor and Clark Kent," Clark said quietly. "I like the sound of that."
Lex laid a kiss on Clark's bald head.
"Me, too."
* * *
Half-asleep, Clark detangled himself from Lex and headed for the bathroom. He was urinating when he realized that the cock he was aiming at the toilet was his own.
"Lex!" he shouted. Using super speed, he finished up and raced back to the bed where Lex was still opening his eyes.
"It worked!" Clark bounced on the bed excitedly. "We're back to normal."
"We are?" Lex glanced at Clark then down at himself for additional confirmation. "I guess we are.
"You did it!" Clark said. He picked up Lex and twirled him. "You did it!"
Lex stiffened in Clark's grasp.
"Release me," Lex said coldly.
Clark stumbled to a halt at the tone. He set Lex down then stared at him.
"Lex?"
"Yes, we've already established that. If you don't mind, I've missed more than a week of work and have a lot of catching up to do. At the top of my list is getting my security forces back to work. I can't believe you sent them out on kitten rescue duty."
Lex didn't want him. Feeling like he'd just been hit in the gut with a kryptonite hammer, which had happened on three different occasions, Clark made his way to the door to the balcony.
"You may want to get dressed," Lex said from behind him.
Right, clothes, Clark thought. He needed clothes, just like Lex had told him.
Lex had told him.
Lex was still helping him.
Clark turned to look at Lex, who was staring at the floor and biting his lip. With his hearing, he could tell that Lex's heart was pounding rapidly in his chest belying his calm, cool, exterior.
"No," Clark said.
Lex raised his gaze to Clark's face. "No?"
"No, I'm not getting dressed."
"I didn't realize you were an exhibitionist. Though with that skin-tight costume of yours, I should have guessed."
Clark advanced on Lex. "I'm not getting dressed because I'm not leaving. You promised me that you would help me. I'm holding you to that promise."
Lex took a step back. "I said that when you were in my body."
Swooping forward, Clark grabbed Lex by arms. "You want me in your body? That can be arranged."
"Clark-"
"You promised."
Lex stared into Clark's eyes. Clark tried to convey to him how much Lex had come to mean to him. It was more than wanting companionship. It was more than love. Lex was his life.
Clark thought things would turn out okay when Lex smiled. He knew things would turn out okay when Lex got a calculating look in his eyes, signaling that he was figuring out how to best take advantage of their new relationship.
"I can't break a promise, now can I?" Lex said, his face shining with happiness.
"No you can't."
Although he and Lex would probably have problems and fight, Clark knew they'd work it out. Lex might occasionally concoct an evil plan like cornering the market on heating oil then create a device to block out the sun, but Clark would handle it. Even if he had to use all of his super powers to knit everyone in the world fuzzy mittens and scarves to keep them warm.
"The first thing you're going to do to help me is call your office and tell them you won't be in," Clark told Lex. "I'll contact The Daily Planet and the Watchtower and do the same."
"How is that going to help you?"
Clark grinned. "I have this pressing need to discover what you're like in bed in your own body instead of mine."
"You asked for my help. You've got it."
"Good. I'd better make those calls now."
As Clark started to turn away, Lex stopped him.
"There's just one thing you ought to know," Lex said hesitantly.
"What?"
"You may want to steer clear of Emmanuel Lewis for a while."
The End
Part 1
Part 2
Mercy, Hope, and Charity entered Lex's office.
These three women were closer to Lex than anyone else. If Clark could fool them, he could fool anyone. And he had to fool them. He needed their help.
It had occurred to Clark that if he was in Lex's body, it meant that Lex was in his body. Lex was a ruthless genius, bent on controlling the world and now he had the power to do so. No one would be able to stop him - not the world's governments and not the Justice League. The only one who'd ever had the power to challenge a Kryptonian had been Lex Luthor with his array of machines and highly trained personnel.
Fortunately, Clark had access to all those weapons and personnel. If he didn't completely blow it, that is.
"Ladies," he said in greeting, trying for Lex's cool calm tone.
"Hey Boss," Mercy replied as the others nodded to him and said quiet 'Sirs'. "Did you call all of us in here for a nice long fuck?"
Clark nearly fell out of his chair. Was Lex having sex with his three bodyguards? His three almost Amazonian bodyguards? At the same time? And people called Clark 'Superman'.
"N-n-no," he stammered out, knowing from the heat he felt in his face that he was probably blushing.
Mercy didn't seem to notice. She simply grinned at him. "One of these days, Boss, you're going to change that answer." She propped a hip on his desk. "So, if you're not going to have sex with us, what do you want us to do?"
Clark cleared his throat. "We have to kill Superman."
All three women let out a groan.
"Not again," muttered Hope
Clark turned to face Hope. "Superman is a dangerous alien. We have to stop him before he takes over the world."
"Same song, second verse," she replied.
Before Clark could say anything else, Mercy intervened.
"Listen, Boss, we know you have a real hard-on for Superman-"
Charity giggled. "You can say that again."
Mercy gave her a quelling look then continued. "But Superman has never shown any inclination that he wants to rule the world."
"That's about to change," Clark said solemnly.
"Really?" Mercy arched an eyebrow in disbelief.
"Yes," Clark confirmed. "I have inside information."
* * *
Lex finally gave up his efforts and picked up the phone. He quickly dialed his private number. It seemed to ring forever, but at last Clark answered.
"Hello?"
Lex resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He didn't think he'd ever sounded that tentative.
"Spill," Lex said into the phone. "How do you make your heat vision work?"
"What?"
"Your heat vision," Lex said, enunciating carefully. "I've tried everything and no go. How do you start it up?"
"Do you really think I'd tell you?" Clark asked.
"Come on, Clark. It's not like we have any secrets left between us." Lex chuckled. "Or we won't after I take my morning shower. You do prefer the shower, don't you?"
"The shower...." There was a pause in which Lex swore he could hear over the phone the sound of a heart beating faster as blood pumped angrily. "You leave my equipment alone."
"Fine. I won't touch your equipment."
Clark breathed a sigh of relief.
"I do plan, however, to do all sorts of lovely things to your cock."
"Leeeeeex," Clark said low and warningly.
"Do you know how long I've waited to have my hand wrapped around your cock? Ages. Pity I won't be able to suck it." A thought occurred to Lex. "Hey, Clark, exactly how bendy are you?"
"I'm going to kill you!" Clark screamed. "I'm going to rip your throat out."
"Wow," Lex said breathily. "I didn't know that I sounded so sexy when issuing death threats."
Clark growled in response.
"Oh, fuck, yes! Do that again."
A burst of heat flared from Lex's eyes.
"Shit, Clark! I just set your apartment wall on fire."
"Use your breath to blow it out," Clark said quickly.
"I haven't figured that one out yet!" was the panicked reply.
"Then use the fire extinguisher right outside the apartment door."
Several minutes passed as Lex raced to put out the fire. When he finally finished he picked the phone back up.
"You still there, Clark?"
"Yeah."
"You know, this gives me a much different perspective on every time you burned something up."
Clark covered his face with a palm. "Shut up," he muttered.
"I think I'll tackle flying next," Lex announced happily. "Say... if I hop out your window I know I'll crack the sidewalk, but will I sink into the earth? And if so, how deep?"
"Good-bye, Lex," Clark sighed and hung up.
Lex shrugged and hung up, too. It didn't matter if Clark didn't answer. Lex had always liked finding information out for himself.
* * *
Mercy opened the door to the lead-lined room and Clark instinctively flinched back. When his blood didn't start to boil, he took a step forward.
Inside the room were rows and rows of meteor rock, most of which had been refined and made into bars. There were still a few rocks in the original form. The miracle was that all of the kryptonite simply sat there, not glowing or hurting him.
It suddenly occurred to Clark that he wasn't an alien anymore. He was human. He was mortal. He was going to die.
"Oh, crud! I'm going to die!" Clark moaned.
Mercy's gun cleared its holster in a flash. "Where's the intruder? I didn't see anyone or hear anything. How bad are you shot?"
"I'm not shot," Clark said. "But if I was, that could kill me. Or I could get sick. Or be hit by a car. Or get an infection. Or a tumor. Tumors are nasty things, you know?"
Mercy frowned at him. "Did you hit your head?"
"No, but that could kill me too. And Lex always gets hit in the head. It's like there's a magnetic connection between his head and hard surfaces."
"I think you've been working too hard, Boss."
Clark tamped down on his fright at the prospect of his mortality. "No, I'm fine. It's just... I don't want to die."
Mercy smiled. "That's why you have me."
Clark decided that despite all those times in the past when Mercy had tried to destroy him, she truly was the most wonderful person in the world.
* * *
It turned out that Lex didn't leap out the apartment window. He'd sat on the edge looking down, but despite knowing that he was now invulnerable, knowing that he couldn't be hurt, he still couldn't bring himself to jump. His sense of preservation was just too darn strong.
He'd remembered the lake on his property in Smallville and decided that might be a good place to test his ability to fly. After taking a good, long look at Clark's car, he'd opted to run to Smallville versus driving there.
Running had been terrific. He'd felt free, free of cares and worries, free of responsibility. If that was what running was like, flying would kick ass.
It had taken a while to get the hang of flying. Exactly seventeen times he'd jumped off the pier only to land in the water with a splash. On the eighteenth attempt he'd hovered for not quite two full seconds before plunging into the water. By the twenty-sixth time he was floating above the water. On the thirty-third try, Lex actually went up after he jumped off the pier.
Lex laughed. He was filled with glee and wonder. With joy he walked on top of the water yelling "I am a god!" before being overcome with laughter again.
He'd only returned to shore for a few minutes when he heard a car approaching. Scanning the distance, he saw that it was still half a mile away and wasn't his hearing and eyesight fucking amazing?
Two men emerged from the car and Lex recognized them as part of the mansion's security detail.
"Gentlemen," he greeted them sternly. "I've been here most of the day and you're only now coming to investigate?"
The men didn't respond to his remark. One of them stepped closer.
"Sir, you're currently trespassing. This is private property. Please leave the area immediately."
"Yeah, right," Lex scoffed.
"If you do not leave the property willingly, you will be forcibly removed."
As the men moved closer a pain seared through Lex. In horrid fascination, he looked at his skin that had lost its healthy tan and was slowly turning green. The veins on his arms were protruding and felt as if they were going to burst out of his skin. All of his organs seemed to be clenching and shriveling inside of him.
Kryptonite bullets. All of his security guards were always outfitted with kryptonite bullets. He knew that they hurt Clark, but shit, he'd never known how much. A small, a very small part of him felt guilty. What he was mostly feeling, however, was waves of pain.
Stumbling back, Lex waved the guards away.
"I'm going," he gasped. He took a few more steps away and found he could breathe easier. I'll leave immediately just... just stay away."
By the time he'd walked into the trees and out of the sight of the guards, Lex felt strong enough to run.
* * *
Clark looked at the large robot skeptically.
"You really think this will work? You really think that it'll defeat Superman?"
Mercy shrugged. "Probably not."
"Then why use it?"
"It will distract him from the sharp-shooters on the roof that will be armed with kryptonite bullets."
"You don't think he'll notice them?"
"Of course he'll notice them. He'll be on the look out for them, knowing that the robot's a distraction. That's why when the robot threatens the safety of a school bus, he may not notice that it's actually full of midgets all armed with kryptonite in their lead-lined lunch boxes."
Clark stared at Mercy for a moment, feeling bewildered. Being an evil genius was a lot harder than it looked.
* * *
Lex laughed as he tossed then caught the head of the destructive robot Clark had sent after him. Had Clark really thought that a bus load of midgets would fool him? Like that ploy hadn't been used a thousand times before.
Striding through the halls of the Watchtower, Lex half-expected a clamor of alarms to start sounding. But of course they wouldn't.
After all, he was Super-fucking-man and he practically owned this place.
Doors slid open and admitted him to the Hall of Justice.
"Hey, Flash, think fast," Lex said, tossing the robot's head at the red-clad superhero.
Flash, taken by surprise, fumbled a bit with the piece of broken metal.
"Oh right," Lex said. "I forgot that thinking's not what you do fast. Or at all."
Wonder Woman advanced toward Lex, a slight frown on her face.
"Superman, is something wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, Sweetcheeks. In fact, I'm feeling pretty darn good after just saving the world and all that shit." He wickedly ogled her breasts. "Want to personally congratulate me?"
Wonder Woman looked as if she was contemplating how she could smack his face without breaking the bones in her hand.
"Superman!" Batman's disapproving voice echoed in the chamber. "Could I see you in private for a moment." Clearly it wasn't a request, but an order.
Lex grinned. "First Flash, then, Wonder Woman, and then came you, Batman."
Batman gave him a steely glare, before turning toward an exit.
"He sure is cranky," Lex commented.
It was only Lex's new super hearing that allowed him to hear "You should see him in the morning," that Flash, Robin, and Wonder Woman all muttered under their breaths.
He almost stumbled as he gazed at the superheroes. The three of them couldn't mean what he thought they meant, could they?
Following Batman, Lex was a little surprised when he was ushered into what appeared to be private quarters. When Batman turned to close the door, he used super speed and strength and pinned him against the frame.
Leaning forward, he whispered into Batman's ear. "Why'd you want to see me in private? Did you want to break out the Batlube and the Batcondoms and let me into your Batcave?"
Batman struggled to turn around and Lex decided to allow it, moving slightly away.
The look in Batman's eyes was intense and Lex was glad that his current body was invulnerable. As it was, he wondered if Batman was going to break out the Kryptonite he probably had secured in his belt. Lex braced himself for the coming confrontation.
"Oh God!" Batman said, shocking Lex to the core. "Do you know how long I've waited for this?"
"What?" Lex quickly took several steps back.
"Ever since we were captured that time by the alien scientists who wanted to use us to propagate a new race of super strong creatures for use in their gladiator competitions," Batman said, answering his own question. He pushed himself from the wall and advanced toward Lex.
"What!"
"I know you said that you never, ever wanted to talk about it, but for weeks it was all I could think of."
The man was crazy, Lex decided. Of course the fact that the guy ran around dressed as a bat should've been his first clue.
"You're one of the few people on Earth stronger and tougher than me." Batman closed the distance between them and grabbed Lex's shoulders. His voice dropped to a husky whisper. "One of the few people who could dominate me the way I want to be."
The man was crazy and kinky! Again, that costume should've been a big clue. Lex now saw all those times that Batman had been tied up by various villains in an entirely different light.
"Um... shouldn't we go out on patrol or something?" Lex asked, attempting to hide the desperation in his voice.
"I'd rather stay here with you."
Lex let out a gasp as a gloved hand swept down his torso to his crotch. For a superhero that wasn't gifted with super speed, Batman worked fast.
This was so not good. Lex couldn't believe he'd gotten himself into this mess. Now he just had to think of a way out of it. Then an idea came to him and he smiled.
"And I'm telling you that we have to go out on patrol, Batman," Lex purred. He let his voice grow harder, "Or are you going to defy me?"
Batman shivered and shook his head. "No. I'm not defying you."
"I think you are. I think you've been a very bad Bat and I'm going to have to punish you." Lex pushed Batman away from him and then forced him down to his knees.
A small moan escaped Batman's lips.
"But you're going to have to wait until later for your punishment because we have to patrol." Lex said. "I expect you to think about how bad you've been and what I should do to you until then."
Batman gulped and nodded as Lex left the room. Once out in the corridor, Lex let out a shaky breath.
Who would have ever thought that the cute kid on Webster would be such a kinky bastard?
Lex was passing the Hall of Justice on his way out when Flash called to him.
"Hey, Supes! Your crush is on television."
"What?"
"Quit teasing him," Wonder Woman chided Flash.
Moving into the room, Lex could see several monitors all showing the face and body of Lex Luthor that Clark currently occurpied.
"What's going on?" Lex said as he moved closer.
"Luthor's having a press conference," Robin stated. "He's probably going to deny any involvement in that robot you just brought down."
"I called you here today to make an important announcement," Clark was saying on the screen. "As of today, I am withdrawing my bid for Senator."
"You can't do that!" Lex yelled at the screen. "Do you know how much money I've spent? How many promises I've made? Arms twisted? Do you know the amount of time and work that I-" Lex broke off as he realized the rest of the room was staring at him.
"Um... I was going to write a story about it," Lex mumbled. "You know, about corruption and other evil, bad things that go on in politics."
The others nodded. Evidently Lex had guessed right and they knew of his true identity. Clark always had sucked at keeping secrets.
He focused back on the screen where Clark was answering questions. If he ever got back into his own body this would be a setback, but only a setback. Plenty of politicians made announcements about quitting politics only to run for office a few years down the road. Clark may think he'd ruined Lex's political career, but Lex could work around this. Clark hadn't won.
Clark turned to leave the press conference then paused, as if remembering something. As Lex watched, he made his way back to the podium.
"One last thing," Clark said. "In addition to retiring from the political field I would like to mention that I am legally changing my name. My full name will no longer be Alexander Joseph Luthor."
Lex clenched his fists. What the hell was Clark doing?
"From now on," Clark continued, my name is Alexander Josephina Luthor. But you can call me Fifi."
"I'll kill him!" Lex snarled.
* * *
The plan was brilliant in its simplicity and it would absolutely destroy Clark.
There had been a calendar in Clark's apartment which provided evidence of a complete lack of a social life. However, Clark did have one date circled. There was one special person who he planned to see.
Knocking on the front door, Lex waited. When the door opened, he smiled. Despite a few more gray hairs, Martha Kent was still as lovely as he remembered.
* * *
Clark picked up his phone and saw that he had a message from Lex. Part of him had expected to be attacked by Lex on his way out of the press conference. He should've known better. Even with super powers, Lex was not the type to use physical violence that could be directly traced back to him.
Bracing himself for a rant, he pressed the button to listen to what Lex had to say.
"I noticed on Clark Kent's calendar there was a dinner scheduled. I hope you don't mind if I keep that date. I wouldn't want to disappoint your mother."
It was a good thing that Clark no longer had super strength or he would've crushed the phone in his hand. Lex, however, was still talking.
"The relationship between mother and son is so very precious. I had a good relationship with my own mother. It was such a tragedy when she died. I certainly hope nothing happens to spoil your relationship with Martha. No, wait. I should call her Mom, shouldn't I?"
Before the sound of that last word faded from the room, Clark was on his way out the door, yelling for Mercy to get the helicopter immediately ready for a trip to Smallville.
* * *
Lex had eaten at the best restaurants in the world. His private chef was world-renowned. Somehow none of those professionally prepared meals could compare with that of Martha Kent's home cooking.
Maybe, he thought, it was because he'd always enjoyed the few times he'd been welcomed into the house, feeling as if he was almost part of the family and not just some kid peering in through the window. The emotional connection added much more flavor to the meal.
Even now, after prohibiting any desire to be part of a family from ever resurfacing, Martha Kent's cooking was still an amazing thing.
They'd taken their coffee and moved into the living room. Martha had given him a curious look when he said he'd prefer to have dessert a little later, but had complied willingly.
He'd spent the next half hour pleasantly entertained by Martha's news and information of the goings on of Smallville, specifically the Talon, her Ladies Auxiliary, and the book club she'd joined three months earlier.
"And can you believe that almost a third of those women had never even the read the book? Why did they even bother joining a book club if all they wanted to do was sit around and gossip?"
"I have no idea," Lex replied.
He'd had one ear on the conversation and another super powered ear tuned to the sound of a helicopter coming closer. It was still quite a ways from Smallville, but Lex fully expected it to arrive on Martha's drive shortly. It was time to enact his plan that would destroy Martha and Clark's relationship.
Lex edged closer to Martha so that their legs pressed against each other.
This was going to be so simple, yet so soul shattering. All he had to do was make a play for Martha Kent. He needed to kiss her, touch her, maybe push her back on the couch, and lay on top of her.
It would be no real hardship for him. He'd always thought Martha was an attractive woman.
He wouldn't hurt her, either. At least not physically. Lex refused to let himself think of the emotional turmoil she'd have at the thought that Clark, that her beloved son, wanted to have sex with her.
Lex knew that it wouldn't take long for her to learn that he wasn't really Clark. Clark would never do that to his mother. But the experience wouldn't be erased. Afterwards, there would be a crack in their close mother-son relationship. A crack that would never go away.
She'd find herself stiffening whenever Clark came too close and each time it would cause Clark pain.
"Clark?" Martha was looking at him worriedly and Lex realized he'd lost the thread of the conversation. She placed a hand on his arm. "Is something wrong?"
Turning to face her, he nodded.
"Lex," she said solemnly.
Lex almost fell off the couch in shock. How had she known it was him?
"How did you know?" Lex asked.
Martha gave him a gentle smile. "Whenever you come to me upset, it's usually because of him."
So she didn't realize that it wasn't Clark next to her. He could still enact his plan.
"Sweetheart," Martha continued, "I know you regret not telling him your secret. I know you think if you'd done things differently, you'd still be friends, but you have to stop letting it bother you so much."
"What do you propose that I do?"
Martha looked at him strangely for a moment before speaking. "As I've said before, people can change. If he ever seems to regret the choices he's made, if he ever needs help to become the man you think he can be - be there for him. Be his friend."
Lex could hear the helicopter landing at the end of the lane. If he didn't make his move now, if he didn't start kissing Martha, he'd lose the opportunity.
Closing his eyes, he leaned forward. His head dropped down on Martha's shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him in a hug.
"I know it's tough," she said soothingly as she rubbed his back. "I know you miss his friendship. But someday you may get it back."
Lex let her comfort him and ignored the sound of feet storming up the front porch steps and the door slamming open.
"Get away from her!" Clark shouted.
Martha and Lex sprang to their feet. Standing in the doorway was Lex Luthor, angrier than anyone had ever seen him. He was holding a gun that Lex was fairly sure held kryptonite bullets.
"Lex?" Martha said. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm not Lex. I'm Clark. We've switched bodies," Clark explained, still aiming the gun at Lex. "Move away from him, Mom."
Martha turned to look at Lex, then back at Clark. "No," she said firmly.
"I don't want him to hurt you," Clark said. "I have to kill him."
"Clark Jerome Kent, you put that gun down right now!" Martha ordered. "There will be no killing in my house."
"Mom, it's Lex!"
"I know that. Now put that gun in the closet with your father's shotgun, then come to the kitchen table. You're just in time for dessert."
She spun to face Lex. "You go sit at the table and wait. I think it's time you and my son talked."
"Martha, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I should have, but..."
"Apologies later. After dessert."
At that moment Mercy burst in through the back door in a controlled tumble, coming to a halt with her gun trained on Lex.
"Young lady, I just told Clark, I mean Lex, to put his gun in the hall closet. I expect you to do the same."
Mercy arched an eyebrow at her boss.
Clark sighed and nodded. "Do what she tells you to."
Holstering her gun, Mercy smiled at Martha Kent. "Sorry to bust in like that." She held out her hand to Martha. "I'm Mercy, Lex Luthor's personal bodyguard."
"I'm pleased to meet you. I'm Martha Kent, Clark's mother. Go wash up because you're just in time for pie."
* * *
Clark sunk to the couch in the barn loft and put his head in his hands. He hadn't realized how much easier it had been to be Superman who was perfect and was never questioned and didn't have a mother that would protect his nemesis and make them eat dessert together and wash dishes afterwards. Then she'd sent them to the barn to work things out.
Lex sat down next to him. "I wouldn't have hurt your mother. Not really. I thought you knew that."
Lifting his face from his hands, he turned to stare at Lex. "Do you know what the last couple of days have been like? This isn't even the icing on the cake. It's not even the roses. It's one of the teeny sprinkles thrown on for decoration.
Easing slightly away from him, Lex said slowly, humoring him, "Ooookay."
"It's so bad that I'm currently contemplating telling Mercy, Hope, and Charity that I've changed my mind and I do want to have sex with all of them at the same time."
"You can't!" Lex said, straightening up and staring at Clark in horror. "That would be suicide."
"I know," Clark answered.
There was long period of silence while Clark and Lex both imagined all the suffering Clark would experience if he chose that route to end it all. Clark adjusted his pants slightly and Lex wondered with all the technology that Clark had as a Kryptonian, why couldn't he dress in a material that hid his assets but still allowed full freedom of movement.
Lex spoke with regret evident in his voice. "We need to get back to our own bodies before we destroy each other."
"Yes, but how?"
Lex's gaze ran down the body that used to be his. He'd always known he was incredibly sexy. It was nice, however, to know that Clark's body reacted to the sight of his so strongly.
"I believe that if we get as close as two people can get it might work. In that state, our minds will seek their proper place."
Clark's eyes narrowed. "Are you telling me we should have sex?"
"Yes, Clark. If we don't, things may never go back to normal. The sooner we fuck the better. The longer our minds are in their current bodies, the more difficult it will be to get them to reverse."
Still looking suspicious, Clark nodded. "Okay. Where do you want to do this?"
"How about right here?" Lex answered. "This couch looks comfortable."
"My mom's in the house and so is Mercy," Clark said. "We are not doing this where my mom could ever hear us or anything."
"Fine. We'll go to my mansion. Your mansion. The mansion."
Clark nodded in agreement. "I do have one question. Do you think we could leave Mercy here with my mom? She kind of scares me. I never realized how close she kept tabs on you. I wouldn't put it past her to have a camera pointed at your bed."
Lex let out a laugh. "That's nonsense. I can assure you that Mercy doesn't have a single camera pointed at my bed."
Reassured, Clark rose and headed for the barn loft stairs.
Following him, Lex reminded himself that he hadn't lied. Mercy didn't have a single camera pointed at his bed.
She had three.
* * *
Clark lay gasping for breath. That had been incredible. Definitely the best sex he'd ever had in his life. Lex had done some amazing things using Clark's super powers.
Too bad it hadn't helped the situation and he was still trapped in Lex's body.
However, now knowing what Lex's body could do and how it felt to have certain things done to it, the situation didn't seem quite as dire as it had.
"It didn't work," Clark stated.
Lex opened his eyes slowly, just in case more heat shot from them. He wasn't too happy at what he'd done to his bedroom. There were burns streaks on the wall and the drapes were charred. He was probably lucky he hadn't burned down the mansion.
"No, it didn't," Lex conceded.
"I guess we're stuck like this."
Lex cleared his throat. "We could try it again."
"Try it again?" Clark's voice rose an octave as he talked. "I've fucked you. You've fucked me. We've blown each other. Twice. We've fingered, tongued, rubbed, done basically everything you could think of, which by the way is a hell of a lot more than I could think of, and it hasn't worked. What makes you think that it will work if we try again?"
"Is that a 'no'?"
Clark sighed, rolled over, then pressed his current body up against the one he was used to occupying.
"Fine. We'll try again."
* * *
Three days later even Lex had to admit it wasn't working.
"I guess there's just one thing to do," Lex stated as he climbed out of bed and headed for the bathroom to shower. "I'll have to recreate the experiment."
"How are going to do that? I destroyed all your computers and burned your notes and paperwork."
Lex gave a little cough that sound ever so much like he was attempting to cover a laugh. "Every day we back up all our data and store it at a secret off-site location."
"I don't understand," Clark said, shaking his head in confusion. "If you always had the ability to recreate the experiment, why did we have all that sex?"
Lex grinned.
* * *
Two days later Clark slumped down on the couch at the penthouse next to Lex. He rubbed his eyes and felt more tired than he could ever remember being. He was more tired than when aliens had landed in Disneyland and demanded to be taken to Mickey Mouse. He was more tired than when a gigantic monster had decided to use the Washington Monument as a sex toy. He was even more tired than when Lana had visited him in the barn loft years ago to confront him about his secrets and lies.
It didn't help that every time he saw Mercy, she made some naughty comment as if she somehow knew what he'd been doing with Lex.
"Poor baby," Lex said. "It's hard being human, isn't it?"
Try as he might, Clark couldn't hear anything but sympathy in what could've been a snide comment. He nodded in reply.
Lex stood and moved to stand behind Clark. Large hands came down on Clark's shoulders and started massaging the tight muscles there.
"I'd help you but that's impossible."
Clark gave a small sigh of pleasure as the hands moved to his neck. "I know. Superman can't be seen helping Lex Luthor re-establish a secret lab."
"Especially if we're going to re-enact its destruction."
Clark moaned as Lex stroked his hands down and began to work on the muscles of his back. "Mmmm... marry me and do this forever."
His first indication he'd said something wrong was when Lex stilled behind him. With a jolt, Clark realized what he'd said.
"I-I'm sorry," he stammered. "I didn't-"
"Forget it," Lex said dismissively. "I think crazy proposals must be wired into that body."
For a short time they sat in silence.
"What if this doesn't work?" Clark finally asked. "Are we going to continue being enemies?"
"It has to work," Lex said grimly. "Otherwise I'm going to end up knowing Batman a lot better than I'd ever planned."
"What?" Clark said, confused.
"Never mind. It'll work," Lex assured him.
Clark nodded, but he wasn't so sure. From the sound of Lex's voice, Lex wasn't so sure, either. Part of Clark didn't want his own body back. Although being human and vulnerable scared the shit out of him, he didn't mind so much because he knew that Lex, at least, was safe.
Over the past week, he'd grown closer to Lex. He'd learned Lex from the inside out and he knew that Lex knew him in the same way. For the first time since he could remember, maybe forever, he didn't feel so alone in the world.
If the experiment worked, he'd go back to being Superman. Lex would go back to being evil, and everything would be normal again.
He wondered if the reason he felt like crying was because he was human.
"Do you want to have sex?" Clark blurted out.
Lex turned his head and looked at Clark in surprise.
Even though he felt suddenly bashful, Clark moved closer to Lex.
"Redoing the experiment may not work. So we should keep trying everything we can think of including constantly having sex to see if our brains switch in the middle of it."
Lex leaned down and looked in Clark's eyes. "That's a brilliant idea. My genius must be rubbing off on you."
Clark gave him a truly wicked Luthor leer. "Let's make sure that's not the only rubbing off there is."
* * *
Lex and Clark stood in the middle of the lab. They'd banished the scientists earlier. Mercy had wanted to stay, not trusting Superman to be alone with her boss, but Clark had insisted for her own safety that she leave.
"Are you ready?" Lex asked.
Clark nodded. "Do it."
"I think I can skip the part where you crashed through the wall and ranted at me. After that, the first thing you did was smash those beakers and soaking both of us in the process." Lex proceeded to do just as he remembered Clark doing.
Clark wiped at his face, then looked down at himself. "You ruined my clothes. Darn it, you even ruined my shoes. I liked those shoes."
Lex stared at Clark for so long that Clark finally said impatiently, "What?"
"I love you," Lex said.
Clark's mouth dropped open. "You're telling me this now?"
Lex blinked several times. "Oh God," he yelped. "I've been in your body too long. I'm catching the dumb."
"I'm not dumb!" Clark shouted. "And for your information, I love you too! Now don't you think there's something you ought to be doing?"
"I hope the dumb isn't permanent," Lex muttered under his breath as he smashed the computers.
A moment later he eyed a large pile of papers.
"The way you gasp when I enter you. You begging me to go faster and harder. That little catch in your breath when you say my name."
"What are you doing?" Clark practically shouted .
The corner of Lex's mouth quirked up. "Thinking sexy thoughts."
His heat vision shot out and the papers ignited.
"You are so bad," Clark murmured, his face bright red.
"That's not what you said last night. In fact, I remember you telling me how good I was."
"You're awfully cocky."
Lex glanced down his body at his spandex-covered package. "Yeah, I am. No matter which body I'm in. But enough talk. It's time to see if this works or not."
Reaching out with one large hand, Lex grabbed Clark around the neck.
ZZZT!
As before, both of them were sent flying.
Clark felt his torso, then his head. He was still in Lex's body. He could see his own body across the room.
"It didn't work," Clark said as Lex walked over and pulled him to his feet.
"I'm sorry, Clark. I really thought it would." Lex scanned the room. "Maybe... maybe something wasn't right. Maybe the temperature in the room was different. Maybe there were more electrical sparks."
"Maybe," Clark said quietly before heading for the door.
* * *
"Clark?"
Clark felt the mattress shift as Lex climbed into the bed next to him. After the experiment had failed Clark had returned to the Penthouse, taken a shower, and then crawled under the covers. When he didn't reply to Lex's query, Lex moved closer, spooning up behind him.
"I didn't do it on purpose. I hope you know that."
"I do," Clark said barely above a whisper.
"We'll try again. I promise you. We'll keep trying until we get you back where you belong."
"What if we can't? I was able to fool everyone that I was you by canceling my meetings or assigning them to someone else, but I can't do it forever. I can't be you."
"I'll help you," Lex said, wrapping his arm around Clark's waist and pulling him closer. "I'll help you be Lex Luthor and you'll help me be Clark Kent. I'll teach you about the markets and you'll teach me how to inspire people. I'll instruct you on how to crush your competitors and you'll instruct me on how best to keep from crushing people you rescue. I'll give you pointers about getting along with Mercy, Hope, and Charity and you'll do the same with me and the Justice League and no fucking will be involved in either case."
"You'll really help me? You promise?"
"I promise. Together we'll be Lex Luthor and Clark Kent."
Clark relaxed in Lex's arms.
"Lex Luthor and Clark Kent," Clark said quietly. "I like the sound of that."
Lex laid a kiss on Clark's bald head.
"Me, too."
* * *
Half-asleep, Clark detangled himself from Lex and headed for the bathroom. He was urinating when he realized that the cock he was aiming at the toilet was his own.
"Lex!" he shouted. Using super speed, he finished up and raced back to the bed where Lex was still opening his eyes.
"It worked!" Clark bounced on the bed excitedly. "We're back to normal."
"We are?" Lex glanced at Clark then down at himself for additional confirmation. "I guess we are.
"You did it!" Clark said. He picked up Lex and twirled him. "You did it!"
Lex stiffened in Clark's grasp.
"Release me," Lex said coldly.
Clark stumbled to a halt at the tone. He set Lex down then stared at him.
"Lex?"
"Yes, we've already established that. If you don't mind, I've missed more than a week of work and have a lot of catching up to do. At the top of my list is getting my security forces back to work. I can't believe you sent them out on kitten rescue duty."
Lex didn't want him. Feeling like he'd just been hit in the gut with a kryptonite hammer, which had happened on three different occasions, Clark made his way to the door to the balcony.
"You may want to get dressed," Lex said from behind him.
Right, clothes, Clark thought. He needed clothes, just like Lex had told him.
Lex had told him.
Lex was still helping him.
Clark turned to look at Lex, who was staring at the floor and biting his lip. With his hearing, he could tell that Lex's heart was pounding rapidly in his chest belying his calm, cool, exterior.
"No," Clark said.
Lex raised his gaze to Clark's face. "No?"
"No, I'm not getting dressed."
"I didn't realize you were an exhibitionist. Though with that skin-tight costume of yours, I should have guessed."
Clark advanced on Lex. "I'm not getting dressed because I'm not leaving. You promised me that you would help me. I'm holding you to that promise."
Lex took a step back. "I said that when you were in my body."
Swooping forward, Clark grabbed Lex by arms. "You want me in your body? That can be arranged."
"Clark-"
"You promised."
Lex stared into Clark's eyes. Clark tried to convey to him how much Lex had come to mean to him. It was more than wanting companionship. It was more than love. Lex was his life.
Clark thought things would turn out okay when Lex smiled. He knew things would turn out okay when Lex got a calculating look in his eyes, signaling that he was figuring out how to best take advantage of their new relationship.
"I can't break a promise, now can I?" Lex said, his face shining with happiness.
"No you can't."
Although he and Lex would probably have problems and fight, Clark knew they'd work it out. Lex might occasionally concoct an evil plan like cornering the market on heating oil then create a device to block out the sun, but Clark would handle it. Even if he had to use all of his super powers to knit everyone in the world fuzzy mittens and scarves to keep them warm.
"The first thing you're going to do to help me is call your office and tell them you won't be in," Clark told Lex. "I'll contact The Daily Planet and the Watchtower and do the same."
"How is that going to help you?"
Clark grinned. "I have this pressing need to discover what you're like in bed in your own body instead of mine."
"You asked for my help. You've got it."
"Good. I'd better make those calls now."
As Clark started to turn away, Lex stopped him.
"There's just one thing you ought to know," Lex said hesitantly.
"What?"
"You may want to steer clear of Emmanuel Lewis for a while."
The End