Fic: Two journeys

Apr 05, 2010 22:35

Title: Two Journeys
Autor: mah_akh  
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Harry/Ginny
Genre: Romance, Angst
Spoilers: Up until HP & the Half-Blood Prince - book and movie.
Disclaimer: Harry and Ginny aren’t my creation, sadly. All belongs to J.K.Rowling, bless her.
Summary: Two sides of the same coin - Two versions of Ginny Weasley in two different universes, and, yet, the same love for the same hero.
Author’s notes: Story - I believe there is Book!Canon and Movie!Canon. I’ve learned to respect and like both of them, even if they are really different sometimes. Hope this fic can truly show both of Ginny’s journeys from that little girl Harry first saw in the first book/movie to the love of his life.
And, just in case it gets confused, in the left is about the movie. In the right, it’s about the book :)

Author - English is not my first language and, also, I’m really nervous about this fic. I really hope I succeed in showing Ginny’s two stories and also in capturing her character, that was really hard for both the movie and the book. I really tried to show a parallel between book and movie.

Any review is welcome, and feel free to point out any mistake I may have done.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And I feel that Ginny and Harry, they are total equals. They are worthy of each other. They've both gone through a big emotional journey, and they've really got over a lot of delusions, to use your word, together. - J. K. Rowling.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Ginny Weasley was ten years old, she went with her mother to King’s Cross Station to see her brothers taking the train to Hogwarts. She was quiet all the way, her small hand between her mother’s, as Ginny watched Percy than Fred - or George - entering the Platform. One by one her brothers were leaving her. And then there was only Ron, the last one -
But when Ron was going to the Platform, a young boy came in and asked her mother for help. He seemed really lonely and, at the same time, so innocent. Ginny looked at him for quietly a long time, wondering who that boy, with no family, was and she surprised herself wanting to talk to him.
“Good luck”, she said, smiling to him; the last thing she thought, before he took a deep breath and went through the brick wall, was that he had beautiful eyes.
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Ginny Weasley is ten years old, she goes with her mother to King’s Cross Station to see her brothers taking the train to Hogwarts. She chats all the way, trying to convince her mother that she could leave with them - that doesn’t work, and her mother grabs her hand firmly, probably to keep her youngest daughter to enter the Hogwarts Express.
She has a rather grumpy expression on her face as she sees Percy, then the twins leaving her. Then there’s only Ron left - Ron, who always stayed behind with her, is finally old enough to go - and she is going to be alone -
And then a young boy comes, looking really lost as he asks for her mother’s help. Ginny is left to wonder why he’s alone, where his parents are. There’s something so pure and beautiful on him that makes her want to talk to him - but, before she has the chance to speak anything, he turns to the wall and goes. It takes a moment for her to realize the only thing she knows about him is that he has startling green eyes. She wonders what his name is as she enters the Platform.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A few days before Ginny turned eleven, she went to the kitchen as she did every morning. She didn’t care about changing her clothes; never once she had had any trouble in walking around her house in pajamas only - that’s it, until now.
She was distracted that morning, in a search for her favorite jumper and she didn’t notice him at first. She had just asked her mother about the sweater and, as she listened to the answer, her eyes felt on the boy sitting on her usual spot at the table. She knew those shining eyes who watched her with curiosity - she could remember his face, even though he seemed slight older than in her memories. It was the boy she’d been talking about all the summer and he was sitting in her kitchen, looking much more ordinary than she would have thought about someone who - according to Ron - had just face You-Know-Who a couple of months ago.
“Hello”, he said, a kind smile on his lips.
And suddenly she felt shocked - all she could think about was that she’s wearing pajamas and she didn’t even comb her hair that morning. No words came out of her mouth and she did the only thing that seemed right - she ran away.
She only breathed again once she was safe in her room. Biting her own lips, she locked the door and didn’t open it all morning.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few days before Ginny turns eleven, she goes to the kitchen as she does every morning. She doesn’t care about changing clothes - never once she had any trouble in walking around the Burrow in pajamas - that’s it, until now.
She’s distracted as usual - not being a morning person means she would just walk down the stairs and sit on her usual spot at the table. That’s her plan until she hears voices in the kitchen. Even in her almost sleeping state, she can tell there’s someone new in the Burrow. It takes her a full second to recognize the voice, even though she had only heard it briefly a month ago.
So, she thinks, her brother had really gone to Surrey in that flying car to take Harry Potter. For a moment, she frowns, annoyed by the fact that they didn’t care about informing her about their plan. Then another thought comes to her mind and she gasps, her face suddenly white.
Harry Potter is in her house - and she’s wearing pajamas and her hair is all windswept and it’s the first time in her life that she actually cares about her looks.
Before she can stop herself, she’s running away, her heart beating heavily on her chest. Once she’s safe in her room, she tries to calm herself down. Maybe it’s not really him; maybe she’s just imagined things.
There are footsteps just outside in the stairs. Very carefully, she opens the door of her bedroom; a pair of brilliant green eyes looks curiously back at her before she closes the door again.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Ginny was eleven years old, she talked in front of Harry Potter for the second time in her life. There were on this library and Harry had just been dragged to the center of attention by Lockhart. She knew Harry hated the fact that everyone was looking at him - she could almost feel his annoyance. So, when a blond boy showed up and accused Harry of enjoying the fame, Ginny could not help but feel angry.
“Leave him alone”, she said firmly, taking a step closer to the blond boy. He didn’t seem intimidated.
“Look, Potter, you’ve got yourself a girlfriend”, he joked and she felt hot and ashamed inside, but she kept her face neutral.
It was only afterwards that she allowed herself to really be upset about these events - but, fortunately, her new friend, Tom, was there to listen to her.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Ginny is eleven years old, she talks in front of Harry Potter for the first time in her life. They’re on Flourish and Buttons and Harry has just been dragged to the center of attention by Lockhart, who’d also given him a full set of books. Harry’s face is red with embarrassment as he walks towards Ginny and gives her his new books. Before she has any chance of saying thanks, however, a blond boy shows up and accuses Harry of enjoying the fame.
She knows that is a ridiculous idea - she may not have said a word around him yet, but she had watched him. Harry Potter is the kind of boy who would thank her mother after every meal or would help her brothers to de-gnome the garden. He is her hero and, yet, he is an ordinary person.
“Leave him alone. He didn’t want all that”, she says firmly, staring angrily the blond boy in front of her. He just laughs.
“Potter, you’ve got yourself a girlfriend”, he jokes and suddenly her face is on fire. She doesn’t know if she’s more furious or more ashamed.
She doesn’t remember much of what happened next - her father may have fought Lucius Malfoy, she thinks. Later that night, however, she finds a small comfort in her new diary; Tom seems really kind to listen to her.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When she was twelve years old, she didn’t see Harry that much. The fact that he saved her life last year was, as everything else, just a memory.
She watched from far away as Harry seemed really affected by those dementors and later by Sirius Black. She laughed like everyone else as he flew the Firebolt.
She became friends with Hermione, but, when it concerned Harry, she knew she just wasn’t part of his life.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When she’s twelve years old, she still can’t speak in his presence without blushing furiously. Harry had, after all, saved her life, which just makes things more complicated.
She watches from far away as he seems as affected by those dementors as she does. She makes him a get-well card after he falls of his broomstick and her face is as red as her hair when she gives it to him.
She becomes friends with Hermione and Luna, but when it concerns Harry, all she has is a hopeless growing crush on him.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Ginny was thirteen years old, she started to develop a crush on Harry. Now it was less because of how heroic he sounded on Ron’s tales and more about the boy she had wished ‘Good Luck’ all those years ago. There was something in the way he would laugh and his eyes would shine as he watched the Quidditch World Cup that made Ginny’s heart beat quickly. Her eyes would always search for him in the middle of the crowd.
She watched with worry as he faced that dragon, then she felt joy when he saved her brother and that little French girl. She felt sadness when Harry came back of the Labyrinth and Diggory didn’t.
And it was in that year she had her first date. Even though Neville was just her friend, they danced together all night; by the end of the Yule Ball, she felt confident enough to kiss him on the cheek when he wished her a good night.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Ginny is thirteen years old, she decides to give up on Harry. It’s mostly Hermione’s advice, she knows, and it’s a good one. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t worry upon every challenge Harry faces in the Triwizard Tournament - just that she’s not going to mutely wait for her brother’s best friend to notice her. Especially when Harry is obviously enchanted by that Ravenclaw girl - which breaks her heart more than anything.
So she goes to the Yule Ball with Neville; he is nice, even if a horrible dancer. She has fun enough for the night - more than Harry, at least, she can’t help but notice it - and she even meets Michael Corner, a cute Ravenclaw.
Three months later, she has her first date. Michael is really nice and makes her a bit nervous; by the end of their date, she tells herself that her crush on Harry is over and she kisses Michael on the lips when he wishes her a good night.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Ginny was fourteen, she accepted the fact that she liked Harry. She missed him through the summer holiday and she couldn’t help but smile when he greeted her in Grimmauld Place. She tried all year to be there for him when he needed. She didn’t hesitate to sign up for his group of study.
But then Hermione was joking about how Cho Chang couldn’t keep her eyes off Harry and he’s smiling and she felt confused - why was he smiling?
She tried to ignore it. Maybe Hermione had seen things. She was almost convincing herself of it - after all, Harry had smiled to her, so obviously proud, when she had executed the most marvelous Reducto curse, and Ginny had smiled back. How could that not mean something?
And then on the last meeting before Christmas, she saw Harry going back after Cho Chang. Her heart broke as she realized he liked that girl.
She felt lonely than ever - and then her father was attacked and those romantic things seemed less important. Later, when she had time to think about it, she admitted her defeat.
She liked Harry. Really did. But he didn’t feel the same about her and there was nothing she could do - except try and be his friend, which she already was anyway.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Ginny is fourteen, she has already accepted the fact that she’s over Harry. She speaks in front of him as she does to anyone - she doesn’t get shy anymore and she doesn’t care about reprimanding him either when he deserves it. She treats him like a friend and he treats her like an equal. Everything is fine.
She has a boyfriend and she’s happy with him, even if he gets a little annoying by the end of the term. She makes the Quidditch team and even impresses her own brothers. She is good at the D.A. She just smiles when Hermione tells her about Harry and Cho’s kiss. She even tries to help him to get back to Cho when they had a row.
But there are moments when things get a little bit complicated for her. Something does fly on her stomach when she and Harry share a chocolate egg in the library. She wants to hug him after the events in the Department of Mystery. She smiles a little too much in his presence or when she realizes his crush on Cho Chang is over.
But she forbids herself of even dreaming about him - so, when she and Michael breaks up, she doesn’t lose time wondering if Harry has finally seen her. Dean Thomas is a pleasant guy and he can make her laugh - that’s enough for her for now.
She likes Harry. Really does. But she’s not going to let herself be that shy girl who’s not really her. She is Harry’s friend.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Ginny was fifteen, she did something she had never done her entire life. She hugged Harry.
And it was one of the most perfect things in the world. They were both the same height now and she fitted in his arms as if she was made for them. It started as a friendly hug - she, liked her family, had been worried about Harry over the summer - but then it turned out as something else. It felt as if an electric current had passed over her and her smile died when she realized it had passed over him as well.
This was not right. She had a boyfriend now - at least, she and Dean Thomas had been going out before the end of term and they had also exchanged a few letters this summer.
And she liked how Dean made her feel beautiful and grown up and more secure of herself.
Slightly nervous, Ginny broke free of Harry and tried to smile once again. Maybe that hug didn’t mean anything. And maybe his eyes weren’t shining in her direction. Maybe.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Ginny is fifteen, she and Harry are like the best friends. In the summer before her fourth year they have a lot of fun in the Burrow. They play Quidditch together and, sometimes, alone; they dance in the rain until her mother orders them to enter the house. They laugh and share jokes.
And even in the midst of the war she feels happy. Harry is her friend, she’s dating Dean Thomas and she likes him.
But sometimes she cannot help but think that Harry’s looking deeply in her direction - and when she looks back at him he just waves and keeps talking with Ron or Hermione as he probably was doing before. She just shakes her head and thinks that maybe she’s seeing things. Maybe.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By Christmas break, there was a thought that wouldn’t leave Ginny’s mind. Harry liked her.
It had started out when she had caught him looking in her direction in the Three Broomstick when she was on a date with Dean; later, she would have told herself it was just a brotherly feeling. It didn’t help, however, that things with Dean were getting worse as days passed. He was nice, she knew, just not the kind of guy she wanted - he was too chivalrous, too serious. They would fight every day - and then they finally split one day before the first Quidditch game of the season.
Her eyes were red as she went to Slughorn’s meeting; she was late and it annoyed her, but the professor didn’t seem to care. As Ginny went to sit, Harry raised from his chair. Their eyes met for a second before Harry blinked and sat again. Hermione’s eyes found hers and Ginny saw that her friend was smiling, while Harry looked as embarrassed as Ginny had felt all those years back when she had entered the kitchen and found a new boy sitting on her usual spot.
On Christmas Eve, she had just made little pies when her mother suggested she should take some for Harry. She did and playfully offered them for him; he smiled and looked shyly at her. A thousand thoughts crossed her mind - maybe she should tell him she didn’t have a boyfriend anymore - before Ron sat between them, breaking the tension.
She took a shower later; it was one of the things she loved, taking shower just before she went to bed. On the way to her bedroom, however, she found Harry. It was easy to ignore the way her heart was pounding heavily on her chest as she knelt and tied up Harry’s shoes, as her mother would do when Ginny was a little kid.
And then she got up and all she could feel was heart beating quickly, almost painfully - it was the first time she was truly alone with Harry. Their breathing was heavily. She didn’t feel like a little kid anymore.
“Merry Christmas, Harry”, she whispered, and her voice was deep. He took a step closer to her and didn’t even seem to notice it.
“Merry Christmas”, he murmured back and then their faces were nearer than ever.
But suddenly there was fire outside and they both turned away, distracted. Now it wasn’t time for romance - but to fight.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By Christmas break, there’s a thought that keeps cropping up on Ginny’s mind, even though she fights it. Harry likes her.
It started when he had caught her and Dean kissing on that hallway. There was such an intense look on his face, as if he was feeling angry and confused, and later Harry wouldn’t even look her in the eyes. This was weird, because before that, all Harry did was watch her - he would wave when they met on the Common Room, he would be the first one to laugh on her jokes, he would stop to say ‘hello’ to her at least twice a day.
And she knows that doesn’t make things better. There is this small fire inside her heart that never really fades out and it burns as soon as she thinks Harry might like her. She tries to ignore it and keeps treating him like her friend. It works because Harry never makes a move or says anything that would confirm her suspicions.
And, at the same time, it doesn’t work, because the more she knows Harry, the more the fire burns. Harry is not perfect, and she knows it, but she can’t help but compare each one of his acts with Dean’s. Because Harry doesn’t insist on open every door for her; he doesn’t think she’s too fragile to throw her a snowball. Harry treats her like his equal.
But she’s with Dean and she wouldn’t cheat on him; besides, she doesn’t even know if Harry really likes her.
So she tries to ignore it; she has O.W.L’s to care about, she needs to work things up with her current boyfriend, they’re in the middle of a war - and she’s over him. At least, that’s what she keeps trying to believe.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Their first kiss was soft and deep at the same time; it was concealed, as so many other things, in the secrecy of the Room of Requirement. She knew, by now, that Harry just feared his best friend’s reaction and she also knew, above all things, that she truly cared for him.
The kiss happened on an afternoon, a few days before the end of the term. Harry was looking guilty and troubled - he had just cursed Malfoy and had lost his faith on that Half-Blood Prince. She knew that feeling - like Harry, she had also trusted a book once and things didn’t turn out well.
So she had risen and told Harry he should hide the book, should got away of temptation. He followed her to the seventh floor and they stopped in front of a tapestry they both knew.
“Take my hand”, she said, and through it wasn’t really necessary, his hand intertwined with hers.
And she liked the feeling of his touch - it felt, once again, as if they were made to be together. His hand was so warm and good and she thought she could hold him forever.
Her heart started to beat quicker; she tried to ignore it as she took the book from him and told Harry to close his eyes.
And when she got back to him, she knew what she would do. It was time to let Harry know her biggest secret - and, as Ginny stared at his face, every moment of their story passed through her head: she remembered that young boy she had once wished good luck, she remembered waking up in the Chamber of Secrets and finding him almost dying, she remembered laughing with him in the Quidditch World Cup, she remembered fighting by his side and feeling this was the right thing to do.
“There’s something else. Another secret of sorts. One of mine…”, she whispered and then, very carefully, she placed her lips on Harry’s.
It lasted three seconds and a lifetime. It was sweet and intense. It wasn’t her first kiss - but it could have been the last in her life. A part of her knew she was maybe too young to understand what love was - but, as she broke off the kiss, Ginny thought that she had a pretty good idea by now.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Their first kiss is blissful happiness. It happens in front of fifty people and yet it feels like it’s only her and Harry in the world. She has already broken up with Dean for a month and she’s more certain than ever that Harry might like her - and she also has the distinct impression that the only thing keeping Harry from asking her out is his best friend.
The kiss happens on May, in a bright day. She has just won the Quidditch Cup and the Snitch is flying around the room; Ginny is waiting, like most of her House, for Harry’s return.
And then, by midday, Harry shows up - at first she doesn’t see him, only listen as the Gryffindors cheers for the missing Captain. Then, before she can control herself, she’s running into his arms - maybe she just wants to hug him, maybe she wants to congratulate him - and then Harry’s lips are on hers and everything else slips out of her mind.
Because nothing else matters in the world - it’s just Harry, and the feeling of his lips and the taste of his mouth and this absolute confidence that she was made to be with him. She thinks of meeting him for the first time, of blushing is his presence, of giving him a singing valentine and of being just his friend and it’s like everything that happened between then lead to this moment.
He is holding her forcefully and, at the same time, softly. His lips are possessive and tender. He is making her tremble and sweat; her heart is beating loudly on her chest and she can’t breath.
After a minute and a lifetime, they break apart. Harry looks into her eyes and she smiles - they both are beaming now and they jump when there is an outburst in the Common Room. It seems as if everyone is applauding or giggling at them. She sees that Harry is looking for her brother and, as she turns, Ron shakes his head, giving his approval. Harry’s smile doubles now.
Looking as if he were made of pure happiness, Harry gestures towards the Portrait; they hold hands as if it’s the most natural thing in the world - and it is, she realizes - as they walk side by side to the gardens. He kisses her again and again.
Ginny knows she has never been kissed like this. She has never been this closer to know how love really feels.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few hours after their kiss, Ginny found Harry crying over Dumbledore’s dead body. Harry looked really broken and she suddenly knew what she had to do; ignoring all those hundreds of peoples around him, she walked on and knelt by his side, touching his arms gently. Harry’s head fell on her shoulder as if she had some kind of healing power over him. Closing her eyes, she caressed him softly.
They never really started a relationship and though they both know Ron knew by then, they also knew it wasn’t time for one. She watched Harry Potter long enough on her life to know he has a mission and he won’t be able to really live until he finishes it.
So she just stayed in the Common Room when, in the next morning, Harry left to the Astronomy Tower to talk to Ron and Hermione. Ginny and Harry did not speak - it was unnecessary. They both had knowledge the fact that they liked each other - but there wasn’t time for romance, not until the war was over. And they both knew they would wait.
In that morning, as Harry walked down the stairs, their eyes met for a few seconds - and silently he thanked her. Maybe she would not ever know, but when she had touched him last night, or when she had kissed him, it was not his body she was healing - it was his soul.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few weeks after their kiss, Ginny finds Harry crying over Dumbledore’s dead body. Harry looks really broken and lost and she ignores the shock she’s feeling as she walks towards him. She wants to cry too but she knows Harry needs her now - so she controls her trembling and takes his hand.
“Harry, come on”, she whispers and he obeys her order without even seem to listen. They walk through the crowd and it feels as if Harry is finding some desperate comfort on her touch.
Her world is falling apart and she knows it. Harry doesn’t mention anything, but she can see the sadness and decision on his eyes that has less to do with Dumbledore’s death.
Harry will leave her - she can feel his goodbye in every urgent kiss they share, in every word he doesn’t say. And it breaks her heart to realize she has always known their relationship wouldn’t last - until Voldemort is defeated, Harry’s path is dangerous and he is noble enough to try to protect her. That is, anyway, one of the things she likes about him.
So, in their last day together, before Dumbledore’s funeral, Harry holds her closer as they watch the sunset. He kisses her softly on the lips and murmurs a quiet “thank you”; she looks at him curiously and Harry just smiles. Maybe she will never know, but in these last few weeks, she has given him something to fight for.

-----

fic: harry potter, h/g

Previous post
Up