You Against the World
I wrote in December and it was still spring in Australia. Now, it's beginning of spring again. Can't believe how time flies.
Title:You Against the World
Genre: RL
Rating: G-PG
Classification: Angst, bittersweet
Summary: What if Jun and Mao broke up and it’s Mao’s fault. Will she be able to live with it?
Disclaimer:
I don't own Jun Matsumoto, Mao Inoue and any other celebrety names mentioned in any of my stories. Stories are purely fictional.
~~~
It’s a nice cool, sunny afternoon when grass is green and the flowers are in full bloom. I put on my beanie and boots. Though spring is in the air, afternoons are still cold so I grab my purple cardigan to keep me warm.
This is more than just a cardigan. It’s something of sentimental value for me. Memories of when it was given and who given it to me still linger on my mind every single second after the incident. These memories attached to this cardigan are what giving me the warmth more than the material itself. But it’s the past now and I can’t do anything about it. Except I am finding it hard to move on. Because I can’t and it’s my fault.
I whistle to call Hug. The dog came racing to me. I am amused how Hug is so excited as she wiggled her tail. She knows well I am taking her to the park. It's good to have Hug around. Days and nights would have been more unbearable without Hug to cheer my mood up and keep my mind off.
I took Hug up into my arms and lock my apartment close. We are heading to the park.
I followed Hug wherever she wanted to go while listening to Ken Hirai’s latest single on my ipod. Suddenly, Hug runs so I have to run to keep up with him.
“Hug-chan, stop. Stop girl.” But she continued to run until---
“Mao-chan?”
I froze in my place while panting. My chest seems to tighten. Maybe because of the running but I know for sure it’s because of the sight that shock me.
“Jun-kun” I whispered as I stared at his lovely, brown eyes. He was also surprised to see me.
We stayed in silence for a while, eyes fixed at each other. Until the whimper and growl of Hug caught my attention. I look down.
She’s standing in between me and Jun looking up at him as she whimpers. She then looks down and growl at the dog whose leash Jun is walking. Jun with another dog?
“You have a dog?” surprised to see the dog, I asked him the question.
“No, this Aya’s. She is busy today so I volunteered to take care of her. The dog is Welsh Corgi, covered by brown except for a part of white just under chin. She’s fluffy with a short tail. Very lovable as anyone would say.
“I see.” I replied softly pulling Hug closer to me. She continues her whimper.
“Let me have her.” Jun suddenly said with a smile. “I think she’s a bit jealous of Sasha. I have been looking after her for long--- .” He stop and just look at me. He wasn’t sure if he will continue. He decided not to. I was a bit disappointed. He wants to forget it also. Without a word I handed her Hug-chan. Hug-chan looks very pleased to be in his arms again. I wish my case is that easy.
“How are you?” He asked me still giving me his trademark smile. The smile I fell in love with, his eyes which I adore best as it fits perfectly to his face.
“Are you ok?” He asked again, cutting my thoughts.
“Ah, y-yes. I- I am fine.” I struggled a smile. “H-How are you, Jun-kun?” I stuttered.
“Still busy with Arashi and other projects... Would you like to sit?” He pointed at the bench under the tree while putting down Hug. I nodded.
I motioned towards the bench when I felt his hand on my back. I felt my heart stop beating when I feel him again. It’s been long since I feel his touch. I stop on my track. That made him aware of what he was doing.
“I’m sorry. Old habit don’t die quickly.” He tried to ease the tension by saying it like a joke. When in fact, it hurts me. He used to do that to me when we walked together when we were-
“Sit here.” He dusted the bench to where he wanted me to sit. I smiled and thanked him. He sat close next to me. Too close, my heart started beating a gazillion times per minute. Our elbows brushed as he leaned back against the bench after picking Sasha up and put her in his lap. Hug-chan barked. I don’t blame her. My blood started to boil of the thought that he cares more now of Aya’s dog than my dog. Or maybe more than that. He cares more of Aya Ueto than me. But who’s to blame other than me. I drove him away.
I glanced at him. He has that peaceful look on his face. Very calm. He must be doing well. He has moved on. Good for him. He suddenly shifted his stare to me that I quickly turn away.
“Arashi missed hanging out with you.” It’s good he started the conversation. I couldn’t do it. I smiled and turn to him. “How are they? Give my greetings to them.”
He started telling stories about the members of Arashi and their silliness over the years since I last hanged out with them. Our conversation developed from being awkward to the comfort of talking at each other again after 3 years. Yes, 3 years of pain and agony for me.
We continued to talk, laughing as we remembered the good old days. If only I made the right choice.
The sun went and darkness quickly occupied the park. We didn’t seem to notice it until Sasha, Aya’s dog woke up from sleeping on his lap and started barking.
“Sorry Mao, I need to go. I have to pick up Aya still from her Photoshoot.” He stood up and put the dog down. I nod my head in understanding and stood up also. He bid farewell and I watched him walking away.
I lowered my head down when I heard his voice. I look up and he’s 2 meters away from me.
“Mao-chan, before I forget. For old time sake, I want to let you know that Aya and I are getting married.”
A big lump stuck in my throat causing me to choke. I wanted to cough but I was too shock to react when I heard the news.
“Mao-chan, if you have the time, you are welcome to come to our wedding. It will be in a week time.”
Jun continued to talk, feeling happy as his face lightened up on the talk of it. I slowly swallowed the lump. I tried my best to give him the smile as well though my heart just been torn and broken into pieces. There is no hope for me, He has moved on without me. The tears are threatening to escape. I tried to hold it and continued to smile to him
“That’s great. Give Aya my congratulations.” I tried to look happy as I walk close to him and hug him. “Congratulations Jun-kun, I’m happy for you,”
Somehow, when we indulged ourselves in that hug, I feel his embrace tightening. I feel his heart beating one with mine. My soul melted in him. I am losing my control. The tears flowed down from my eyes like a river which just got flooded after the drought. I haven’t cried in years. I held my pain inside. But now I can’t stop it anymore. I tried to break from the hug but his tight embrace failed me.
“Just a little bit more.” He whispered as he tighten his hug more. “Just stay like this just a little bit more.”
As much as I like breath, I stayed in place as we continue to share the hug. The one last hug from him.
After a while he loosen up and we break the hug. I look down. The dogs just silently sitting looking up at us. They seem to understand the situation. I quickly wipe my tears away.
“Goodbye Mao” Hearing those same words while watching him walk away again just made my heart torn more into an irreparable state as the memory of the fateful day flashing back to me.
I came home one night, though tired from day’s work, feeling excited of the news I brought home. My latest movie was a very big hit and it’s breaking record profit. Because of so much excitement, I didn’t noticed anything weird. The house was dark so I switch the light on.
“Surprise!” I was shocked to see many people in my apartment to celebrate the success of the movie. I was delighted to see all of them. They were my very close friends. My family and Jun family were there too.
Then Jun came close, knelt in front of me. He pulled out a small box from his pocket and opened it. I gasps in shock. Jun proposed to me.
But I had different thing in mind. I lowered myself to his level and look at his eyes. I cupped his face with my hands.
“I’m sorry Jun. I can’t get married now. My agency just got a big offer for me to be international actress. That will be my biggest break.” I smiled in excitement to make him understand my position.
He looked down as he close the box. The whole room fell into silence. He rose up and i followed him.
“Did you already accepted it?” He asked
“Yes, it’s too good to reject it.” Jun walks away. I followed him and grabs his arm.
“Jun, please understand. It’s not that I don’t want to marry you. Just not now.”
“This is the third time you rejected my proposal Mao. Now it’s clear to me that you love your career more. I can’t wait anymore... Goodbye Mao” My brain was about to explode upon hearing the words. After saying that, all I could do was to watch as he walked out of my apartment that time while I look around to see the faces who are all angry at me.
Now, it’s happening again. He is walking away again. And this time there is no turning back. I hold my chest to help me breath. I slowly bend down, holding firmly Hug-chan’s leash. She wanted to follow Jun. I sob and I cried my heart out.
“Why does it have to happen to me? God, do you even exist? Why are you letting this happens to me?”
I continue to sob as I look at the sky and shouted. “ I don’t want to lose him. Please, if you are there, please turn back the time. Turn it back. I don’t want to lose him again. I love him.
Please give him back to me, pleaasssee”
I feel my eyes dropping in emotional exhaustion. I continue to hold my chest as I slowly close my eyes.
“Mao”
“Mao”
I opened my eyes slowly. That voice seems familiar. Because my eyes are blurry, I blink twice to get the focus back. Then I saw him.
“Jun”
I quickly get up and wraps my arms around his neck as I buried my head on his broad chest.
“Jun, please forgive me. Please don’t leave. Don’t walk away from me.”
“Chotto, Chotto!” What are you saying?” He cupped my face and wipes my tears with his thumbs. I look at him in the eyes.
“Jun, I am ready to marry you. You do not need to marry Aya.”
“What Aya? Aya Ueto? Mao, what are you saying?” Jun seems confused. I continued to sob in front of him.
“Please don’t walk away from me. Please don’t leave me.” He pulled me to a hug and kissed my hair.
“ Ssshhh...Mao, you only had a dream. Everything is ok.... Everything is good.”
I quickly calm down when I realized I was only dreaming. I slept in the couch of my apartment. I sigh a big relief. All those bad years are only a dream. To be in his arms made me safe again.
I told Jun all about my weird and horrible dream. He smiled as he looks back at my reactions. He took me in his arms and sat me on his lap and whispered in my ear.
“You know you can’t take your word back.” I pulled back and look at him.
“ You said ‘Yes’. Now you can’t take your word back.” He give me the smirk.
“But you haven’t proposed it?” I reasoned
“I did, and you said ‘YES’” He argued.
“But...It was in the dream.” I counteract
“But you did say “Yes, you will marry me after you woke up.” Now his smile gets bigger and wider.
I jump out of his lap to walk away when his hand caught mine, pulling me back to his lap and captured my lips.
After some time, he pulled back a bit and fixed his eyes on me.
“Just for the record, if it did happen that you rejected me, I will wait for you, no matter how long it takes.”
“Really?”
“Really, really.” He took my hand and placed above his heart. “ Inoue Mao, I love you and I will love you forever till death and beyond. There is no other for me than you.... “
I was truly touched by his words, my eyes starts to tear up. He kissed my eyes and dried my tears. He took me up into his arms and headed to my bedroom.
“Where are we going?” I asked still, knowing fully well what in his mind.
“We’ll have an advanced honeymoon.” She smiled as he walks. I wriggled and struggle playfully to get away.
“Put me down, come on Jun, put me down. I still got a script to read.”
“Well, you slept while reading it. So it’s my time now.” He ignored my protest and dropped me in bed. He then lied on top of me.
“This is where you belong.” He pulled me closer as he buried his head on my neck, kissing and nipping it. The sensation brings heat all over my body. I feel weak as I succumb to his passion. I run my fingers from the back of his neck to his hair, enjoying every sensation that his lips are giving. His lips moved from my neck to my lips, which I gladly welcomed as I parted my lips to take his. Our body moved as one as go along the desires of our hearts.
This is the feeling I would not change for the world.
~~~END~~~
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