(no subject)
crazy crazy crazy. well this weekend i went to chicago to see my cousin. he was too busy the whole time with the wedding he was in, which hurt my feelings a little bit, so i called his mom my aunt margie. then i was talking to her about liz moving out at the end of may and how she needed someone to sublet her apartment for 6 months, and to my amazement my aunt said she would give me the money to do it!! i cant believe it. i did forget to ask her for the security deposit too, but i emailed her today and hopefully she agrees. then i need to tell my parents that ill be moving over there in a month, i am scared uber style. i have no idea how they are going to react. the only thing i am going to ask for is if they could help me out by getting me a cell phone and paying the first 3 months becausen i need it to get a job and ill be living alone so i need a phone. its all so crazy, its a studio apartment about 3 or 4 blocks up from the lake, less than half a mile from wrigley firld, about 1/4 of a mile from the red and brown line trains, really close to linclon park and just north of downtown. i am so so overjoyed at the thought that this might happen. i am also nervous though. it is 600 dollars a month, which is a lot espescially since ill have a month to get a job and come up with the money. but im sure for the first few months my aunt will help me out until i get on my feet. i cant believe it. i am so excited, i hope it all works out, im trying not to get my hopes up too too much, but it is difficult due to the fact that this is like a dream come true. i have always wanted to live in a big city. my requirements before were for the city to be big enough to have a major league team, but chicago has a bunch, the cubs, the white sox, the bears, the bulls, i think thats it, oh yeah a major league hockey and soccor team as well. ay ay ay, i really hope this works out for me. things seem to be looking up. i have managed to put my el paso life behind me, well for the most part, i dont even think about getting back with matt now. i did have a dream last night that i was back in my old room with the bed against the wall how it used to be. i was sitting there drawing just like i used to and matt was there and everything was so vivid, just a normal day, but the whole time i was kind of unhappy, and i wass thinking in my dream "why am i unhappy, this is exactly what i want, my life to be like it was". and when i woke up i realize now that that life would not make me happy again, even if i could move back there, be with matt whatever, i would not be happy anymore. this even as painful as it has been for me, was supposed to happen. and now with the thought that i might be able to move into a great place and a great location in the city just makes me glad that it happened. ever since i can remember i have wanted to be in a big city and now my dream might become a reality. i am so so excited. i cant get my hopes too far up though, because now if it doesnt happen i will be devastated, but the option is still there, id just need to find a different place to live. i cant find a job over here and i have been so miserable here at home with my family so i am so happy that my aunt wants to help me get outta here. i thought she was only willing to help me if i moved over there to austin, so its been a pleasant surprise. i am just waiting now for her response about the security deposit and if she says yes, im going to talk to my parents tomorrow and plan on moving in a month. yipeey!!!