Burbank's Neighborhood Pub: Conditionals
As promised.
Last night a number of folks at the Pub gathering participated in the classic Surrealist Parlor Game, "Conditionals". Here's what was generated - for better or for worse. Grammar has been corrected to protect the innocent. ;)
* If my love were trapped in amber, then unicorns would become really tiny.
If 50 cents were worth 10 million dollars, then bunnies would hop through tulips.
If it rained pies on Tuesday, then James would gain more geek.
If the Germans never made beer, he would beat him to death with his own skull.
If I were the model for Rodin's Thinker, then the cast of Lost would be really stranded in LA.
If time turned itself inside out in the dryer, then my heart would beat in time to Mozart's Requiem.
If I found myself swimming, then monkeys would spontaneously combust in purple flames.
* If I were busy doing nothing, then my teeth would turn to diamonds.
If this were confusing, then Lee would be covered in bees!
* If I get stars in my soup, then the stars would align and the Great Old Ones would emerge and frighten girl scouts and steal their cookies.
If zombies had mullets, then zebras would fall from the sky with little bells that go tinkle tinkle.
If James goes to grad school, then nothing happens.
If guitars fly, then the tiger will go away to sleep off her hangover.
* If lava and magma are the same thing, but at different levels, then cities would be made of metal.
* If everyone in the world was green, then the flowers would turn pink and die.
If paint peeled quietly and slowly, then I'd never think again.
If women were all witches, then the girl from Ipanema would walk into traffic.
* If Judas really used his 30 pieces of silver on the field where he hung himself, then weebles will wobble no more.
If everyone wore kilts, then goto writehelp(); - Ah, techgeek humor.
And because, despite not following the rules, this is fucking funny:
If a deaf girl farted and no one was around to hear it, would it make a sound? Then you might be a redneck.
Was great seeing folks last night. There will be more Pub events in the near future.
Cheers!
* My favorites.
Last night a number of folks at the Pub gathering participated in the classic Surrealist Parlor Game, "Conditionals". Here's what was generated - for better or for worse. Grammar has been corrected to protect the innocent. ;)
* If my love were trapped in amber, then unicorns would become really tiny.
If 50 cents were worth 10 million dollars, then bunnies would hop through tulips.
If it rained pies on Tuesday, then James would gain more geek.
If the Germans never made beer, he would beat him to death with his own skull.
If I were the model for Rodin's Thinker, then the cast of Lost would be really stranded in LA.
If time turned itself inside out in the dryer, then my heart would beat in time to Mozart's Requiem.
If I found myself swimming, then monkeys would spontaneously combust in purple flames.
* If I were busy doing nothing, then my teeth would turn to diamonds.
If this were confusing, then Lee would be covered in bees!
* If I get stars in my soup, then the stars would align and the Great Old Ones would emerge and frighten girl scouts and steal their cookies.
If zombies had mullets, then zebras would fall from the sky with little bells that go tinkle tinkle.
If James goes to grad school, then nothing happens.
If guitars fly, then the tiger will go away to sleep off her hangover.
* If lava and magma are the same thing, but at different levels, then cities would be made of metal.
* If everyone in the world was green, then the flowers would turn pink and die.
If paint peeled quietly and slowly, then I'd never think again.
If women were all witches, then the girl from Ipanema would walk into traffic.
* If Judas really used his 30 pieces of silver on the field where he hung himself, then weebles will wobble no more.
If everyone wore kilts, then goto writehelp(); - Ah, techgeek humor.
And because, despite not following the rules, this is fucking funny:
If a deaf girl farted and no one was around to hear it, would it make a sound? Then you might be a redneck.
Was great seeing folks last night. There will be more Pub events in the near future.
Cheers!
* My favorites.