So...yeah...
Ok..now I'm even more muddled than I was before. I didn't think it was actually possible to be more confused, hurt, upset or angry then I was..but apparently it is. I dunno how...but yeah..ended up talkin to my dad last night till bout 1 am...kinda cleared my head a bit...namely cuz i cried through most of it...but..everyone needs to do that now and again. it's weird...everything in my life is changing so drastically..the things i thought wouldn't change happened to be the first to do it...weird how that works. sometimes wish i had a memory eraser...so that i could ask everyone everything i want to..but not then have the elephant in the room syndrome...you know...you've brought something up..and even though it's ignored on both parties it's still there...if that were the case..i'd have bout 5 elephants in as many rooms...therefore...i keep them in my head..but..as you can imagine..cramming 5 elephants in one head..doesn't tend to work out to well...