Five thoughts after watching "Gotham's Ultimate Criminal Mastermind"
Holy crap, what a good episode! It had some ridiculous moments, but that's part of the package with The Batman, so I accept that it will happen from time to time. I think I would be comfortable saying this is my favourite episode in a LONG time, and probably my favourite non-Joker episode so far.
1) "Professor, can we trust AI technology that thinks it's a criminal?" NO. Why is that even a question? You're a smart man, Jim, WHAT DO YOU THINK?!???!
1a) OH MY STARS AND GARTERS, IT'S JEFF BENNETT. So, not only is D.A.V.E. (I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE) a sentient computer programmed to think like a criminal without realizing it isn't a real person*, it is also programmed to bypass the logic circuits of my brain and connect directly to my C.M.i.a.P.P. (Central Melting into a Puddle Processor). As long as you keep talking while you're doing it, D.A.V.E., you can take over as much of the world as you want.
2) Jeezus, it's Pipes from Ghostwatch. Holy crap, now I've got that image in my brain - the one with the curtains - and I'm never getting to sleep tonight. Terror is alive and well in the Robincave.
2a) Fffffff It's Pipes AND Pavayne. Ssssssshiznit.
3) No, no, no, Gordon, you had the proper level of suspicion at the beginning of the episode, then went over all "But...it's just a computer program; it can't actually DO anything" AFTER IT ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING. This is what I have come to think of as the Right Wing Response: Foam at the mouth about imagined threats to your status quo (i.e. a Mexican invasion), then shove your fingers in your ears and deny the existence of any threats that can be backed up by observable data (i.e. global warming).
3a) If Jim Gordon is acting kind of like my dad right now, does that mean I can be Batgirl?
4) "I like your coat." THAT. That is a frickin' perfect line right there. It's amusing, unexpected, and absolutely chilling when you consider the implications of a self-generating metal death machine with opinions and taste in something as subjective as fashion and an understanding of irony. That is absolutely terrifying, that is.
4a) Fffffffffffffffffff HE TOOK THE COAT. I just thought he was being flippant and was going to walk out the door like he owned the place. HE TOOK THE COAT.
5) Cheesy and clunky as it was, I kind of like that D.A.V.E. gave an audible read-out of how long the guards were going to be out, because I legit thought for a moment that he had killed the guy. I think it's absurd that shows are forced to write supervillains (or heroes - wtf is the purpose of Wolverine's claws on Saturday morning cartoons?) who never kill anyone, particularly in cases like this where the villain in question didn't even start out with a human concept of morality...but I can't in all honesty say I'd want villains casually killing people all over the place, either. There's a compromise, where fatalities aren't entirely off the table, but are treated as serious moments - I think Harry Potter and Doctor Who do this really well, for examples of mainstream fiction with younger demographics (does it surprise anyone that neither of them are American? We are seriously as weird, collectively, about our moral hangups and repressive tendencies as the Victorians...)
Bonus thought) The combined wealth of every bank account in Gotham is less than $100 million? Um...somehow I doubt that.
Bonus bonus thought) "Voila. I'm rich, you're not." Excuse me while I LAUGH FOREVER. I'm so glad I'm rediscovering the genius of my darling voice actors.
Bonus bonus bonus thought) I really appreciate how this plan pulls together MOs of several villains (most obviously Joker and Two Face). Also, it's weird that this is kind of exactly the dilemma from Holy Musical, B@tman! (and, y'know, TDK, but I wasn't just watching TDK, so that's less weird).
Two LOLWTFRIDICULOUS things about the finale) The timer was at 59+ minutes when we saw it at the beginning of this scene; it's at less than 2 minutes at the end. So, another really damn long fight, then. And, you guys, Batman just knocked a robot out by punching it in the optic sensors. Not only should he have broken all of the bones in his hand and utterly failed to do any damage to D.A.V.E., it's also important to note that THAT'S NOT HOW ROBOTS WORK. Unless his CPU or power supply are *right there* behind the plastic(?) "face" shield, the most that's going to happen to impare his functionality is a loss of some optical input. Assuming one of the two vital parts WAS right where Bats punched AND fragile enough to be damaged by a human fist, he still isn't going to fly across the room, he's just going to either shut off and maybe topple over, or begin behaving erratically.
And, finally, it's good to know that sentient robots fall outside the realm of Bats' "No Deadly Force" rules. So, is that any non-human life form, or just robots? Would it be okay to kill Martian Manhunter or Superman if necessary? Or Red Tornado? What about cyborgs? Is Cyborg safe around Bats?
* Which, IMHOE, is a concept that AUTOMATICALLY GETS REDEFINED to include machines with artificial intelligence THE INSTANT that sentience is acheived, so YES. YES IT IS A REAL PERSON. Not a human, but an individual that exists in reality and is therefore afforded rights and held responsible for its actions. [/sci-fi nutter rant]
ETA: I saved this last night to proofread it and post today. I'm out in the garage at the moment (where it is ridiculously warm, I would like to point out) and thought for some stupid reason that, what with my being in daylight and my having seen it a fair few times, I could watch the 8 Sightings of Pipes without inciting too much terror. Almost immediately after the video finished, there was a loud bang downstairs. I know for a fact I was the only member of my family out here at the time. So, yeah, TERROR.
1) "Professor, can we trust AI technology that thinks it's a criminal?" NO. Why is that even a question? You're a smart man, Jim, WHAT DO YOU THINK?!???!
1a) OH MY STARS AND GARTERS, IT'S JEFF BENNETT. So, not only is D.A.V.E. (I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE) a sentient computer programmed to think like a criminal without realizing it isn't a real person*, it is also programmed to bypass the logic circuits of my brain and connect directly to my C.M.i.a.P.P. (Central Melting into a Puddle Processor). As long as you keep talking while you're doing it, D.A.V.E., you can take over as much of the world as you want.
2) Jeezus, it's Pipes from Ghostwatch. Holy crap, now I've got that image in my brain - the one with the curtains - and I'm never getting to sleep tonight. Terror is alive and well in the Robincave.
2a) Fffffff It's Pipes AND Pavayne. Ssssssshiznit.
3) No, no, no, Gordon, you had the proper level of suspicion at the beginning of the episode, then went over all "But...it's just a computer program; it can't actually DO anything" AFTER IT ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING. This is what I have come to think of as the Right Wing Response: Foam at the mouth about imagined threats to your status quo (i.e. a Mexican invasion), then shove your fingers in your ears and deny the existence of any threats that can be backed up by observable data (i.e. global warming).
3a) If Jim Gordon is acting kind of like my dad right now, does that mean I can be Batgirl?
4) "I like your coat." THAT. That is a frickin' perfect line right there. It's amusing, unexpected, and absolutely chilling when you consider the implications of a self-generating metal death machine with opinions and taste in something as subjective as fashion and an understanding of irony. That is absolutely terrifying, that is.
4a) Fffffffffffffffffff HE TOOK THE COAT. I just thought he was being flippant and was going to walk out the door like he owned the place. HE TOOK THE COAT.
5) Cheesy and clunky as it was, I kind of like that D.A.V.E. gave an audible read-out of how long the guards were going to be out, because I legit thought for a moment that he had killed the guy. I think it's absurd that shows are forced to write supervillains (or heroes - wtf is the purpose of Wolverine's claws on Saturday morning cartoons?) who never kill anyone, particularly in cases like this where the villain in question didn't even start out with a human concept of morality...but I can't in all honesty say I'd want villains casually killing people all over the place, either. There's a compromise, where fatalities aren't entirely off the table, but are treated as serious moments - I think Harry Potter and Doctor Who do this really well, for examples of mainstream fiction with younger demographics (does it surprise anyone that neither of them are American? We are seriously as weird, collectively, about our moral hangups and repressive tendencies as the Victorians...)
Bonus thought) The combined wealth of every bank account in Gotham is less than $100 million? Um...somehow I doubt that.
Bonus bonus thought) "Voila. I'm rich, you're not." Excuse me while I LAUGH FOREVER. I'm so glad I'm rediscovering the genius of my darling voice actors.
Bonus bonus bonus thought) I really appreciate how this plan pulls together MOs of several villains (most obviously Joker and Two Face). Also, it's weird that this is kind of exactly the dilemma from Holy Musical, B@tman! (and, y'know, TDK, but I wasn't just watching TDK, so that's less weird).
Two LOLWTFRIDICULOUS things about the finale) The timer was at 59+ minutes when we saw it at the beginning of this scene; it's at less than 2 minutes at the end. So, another really damn long fight, then. And, you guys, Batman just knocked a robot out by punching it in the optic sensors. Not only should he have broken all of the bones in his hand and utterly failed to do any damage to D.A.V.E., it's also important to note that THAT'S NOT HOW ROBOTS WORK. Unless his CPU or power supply are *right there* behind the plastic(?) "face" shield, the most that's going to happen to impare his functionality is a loss of some optical input. Assuming one of the two vital parts WAS right where Bats punched AND fragile enough to be damaged by a human fist, he still isn't going to fly across the room, he's just going to either shut off and maybe topple over, or begin behaving erratically.
And, finally, it's good to know that sentient robots fall outside the realm of Bats' "No Deadly Force" rules. So, is that any non-human life form, or just robots? Would it be okay to kill Martian Manhunter or Superman if necessary? Or Red Tornado? What about cyborgs? Is Cyborg safe around Bats?
* Which, IMHOE, is a concept that AUTOMATICALLY GETS REDEFINED to include machines with artificial intelligence THE INSTANT that sentience is acheived, so YES. YES IT IS A REAL PERSON. Not a human, but an individual that exists in reality and is therefore afforded rights and held responsible for its actions. [/sci-fi nutter rant]
ETA: I saved this last night to proofread it and post today. I'm out in the garage at the moment (where it is ridiculously warm, I would like to point out) and thought for some stupid reason that, what with my being in daylight and my having seen it a fair few times, I could watch the 8 Sightings of Pipes without inciting too much terror. Almost immediately after the video finished, there was a loud bang downstairs. I know for a fact I was the only member of my family out here at the time. So, yeah, TERROR.