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The last week has been rough. Rather than dwelling on the bad, such as how I missed my flight to Bellingham, hitched a ride to Seattle, had my ride break down and ended up taking a taxi to the airport, I'll leave you with this relatively positive missive that I wrote on Friday but didn't get the chance to post:
Hypothetically, say that it’s the night before you go to Canada and you suddenly realize while talking to Gab Wong that you do not have your passport because you submitted an application for extra visa pages and it hasn’t come back yet. Do you:
- Cry
- Give up
- Notch up yet another ridiculous travel story
A and B were both tempting, because it sure looked like I was screwed. I would’ve just cancelled the trip entirely but my flight to Bellingham was with Allegiant and, being the cheapo airline that they are, they don’t refund you anything if you cancel. After my last trip to Asia my passport was basically full up and I had sent it in for extra visa pages in anticipation of my big trip to Tibet in May.
First things first - I called the National Passport Center in San Francisco and set up an appointment for the next morning. I did this when I was about to go to Vietnam and realized at the last second that my passport was expired (look back to my archives from April/May 2007 for that gem of a story). It is now already 2 AM after I’ve stayed up talking to Gab about my options. I set my alarm for 5 AM, which is when the passport hotline opens. My alarm goes off three hours later and I groggily call them and figure out what the hell I can do. After about 45 minutes of talking to two different representatives, I had narrowed it down to the following list.
Obstacles to me getting to Vancouver
-I don’t have my passport because it is in South Carolina, and will not be able to get it in one day
-I may be able to file for a new passport. If I get a brand new passport I will have to throw down 195 bucks
-If I want to file for a new passport, I don’t have a birth certificate
-Getting proof of identity would then require $150 for a “document search”, and it may be impossible to complete in one day.
-My flight is actually to Bellingham so I’m not sure how to obtain proof of international travel
-My flight is the next day at 5:45 pm
-I am on crutches
This is a pretty daunting list. Gab had the brilliant idea of getting a Passport Card (seriously, they exist, and they’re pretty cheap - look into them if you’re curious). Unfortunately, one of the representatives quickly informs me that they are unavailable at the San Francisco branch. So my options were limited.
So, first things first - I went back to sleep and woke up again at 7 and set off for San Francisco. Five things are required to get a new passport: A birth certificate, a valid ID (drivers’ license), 2 passport photos, proof of travel and money. I had two of those. Fortunately, in a huge stroke of luck, one of the representatives pointed out that an expired passport could also work instead of a birth certificate. I dug into my pile of junk and somehow came up with my expired passport from 2007. I never really knew why I held onto it but boy did it pay off. Two left. In another colossal stroke of luck, Gab had decided that we were staying at the tournament hotel rather than commuting from Burnaby - if you don’t have an international flight, just about the only way you can establish proof of travel is to have a hotel reservation in your name. Phew. After getting to the building at 8:20 (they open at 9) I set about looking for somewhere to take passport photos. This was impressively difficult. You would think they would provide it. I ended up at a Walgreen’s on Mission St., not realizing that I would be camped out there for the next hour of my life.
Gab Wong, as some of you may know, is not a morning person. Unfortunately, he only received my missive about the hotel reservation at about 8:30 am (my appointment is supposedly at 9). So while I get an extremely dogged-looking passport photo of me taken for an arm and a leg I am increasingly nervous, and sit there on a stool in a corner. Not having eaten breakfast, I buy a pack of Asian trail mix and devour it in the store after asking for permission first. The Walgreen’s can do printing as well so I can print out confirmation of my hotel booking - however, I quickly learn that their ridiculous system only allows you to submit jpegs, and it prints it out on photo paper for three bucks a page. So I have to wait for Gab to get to his office, call the hotel, get them to send email confirmation, print it out, scan it, and then send the jpeg to the actual Walgreen’s store, at which point they print out a completely ridiculous laminated copy of a half-page email. Still, that’s everything! I scamper off to the passport building already 45 minutes late for my “appointment.”
The National Passport Centers are amazing places for two reasons: First of all, you quickly realize that no matter how preposterous your predicament, half the people there have done something far worse. Secondly, they are pragmatic miracle workers. Seriously, what other government office has 4 and a half stars on yelp?! After explaining my unusual circumstances to the first teller, I finally meet with a good natured Filipino-American dude (who asked me “did you grow up in Europe”? I was shocked until he said he could tell from the way I wrote my 9s). He informs me that not only can I get a new passport, but I can use the money that I paid for adding visa pages toward the cost of a new expedited passport. On top of that, he lets me get an expanded passport with extra visa pages for free! I almost couldn’t stop myself from grinning, although I did because I was waiting for the inevitable stroke of terrible misfortunate that seems to have been cursing me lately. But there wasn’t any! 5:45 pm flight? No problem, come back at 3 and pick up your new passport.
When the good times roll, they roll. I walk out of the building and out of nowhere a gourmet Vietnamese slider track called Mama Cass has pulled up outside (check them out on twitter at @gomamacass because they are awesome). I order two awesomely tasty little sliders and a Vietnamese coffee, go sit on the steps of a nearby building, and bask in sunlight feeling the extraordinary pleasure of knowing you are free after a flurry of deadlines. Of course, that’s only a temporary interlude, because after my leisurely lunch I had to run/crutch straight back to Berkeley, pack, then go back to SF by 3 pm to pick up my new passport, and then finally head to Oakland airport and catch my 5:45 pm flight north and finally get some well-earned shuteye. But all this seems trivial by comparison - because I managed to get myself into yet another one of my trademark disaster scenarios and yet again emerged unscathed by the skin of my teeth. It feels good to rekindle my old school all-over-the-place last-possible-second ways. At least I’ll have more stories to take into the surgery.